Look Into My Eyes… What Do You See?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I have been wanting to put some photos side by side to see the change I know is there… the permanent change in my eyes. It’s like ‘before’… ‘after’.
This is what life, loss of loved ones (many loved ones, the very people I loved most in life, nineteen people)…my only child, my son… Tommy, died…
loss of home/belongings/house fire, almost losing Skip in 2 wrecks (both caused by women who hydroplaned … the other running a stop sign), battling cancer, Skip battling cancer… surviving congestive heart failure episode.
Anyway… those are a few things life has thrown at me… the others are too numerous, some too private to write here. Life experiences… most people only experience very few of these things in their lifetime.
The purpose of this is to show how one’s face, eyes change… reflecting experiences in life… bad experiences. I am an example… look, see the changes through time. That’s ‘why’ people’s faces change so drastically through time.
The good thing about all of this is… though so many bad things have happened in my life since being a very young child… I am still a positive person. I still believe in good things, I still believe in God, and I still know everything is going to be alright.
I have been fascinated by the change in my eyes… I wanted to share it with you. I had to compare photos, especially as I just discovered the photo taken January 2011, a few months after Tommy died… I never knew it was taken… I didn’t know anything at that time… grief.
I put my finger beneath my eyes on each photo, so as to see ‘eyes only’… to look at the difference. You might try it, also.
I know you have seen people change through the years, know things happened in their lives to forever change them. I am an example of what life can do … when I began to come out of the darkness, I began looking for myself… chasing myself in the mirrors.
I didn’t recognize the woman I was seeing in my mirror. How did I ‘get old’… ‘where did I go’? I knew the only place to look for ‘me’ was in the mirror. Now… I am older, and not only mourn the loss of Tommy… I mourn the loss … of my youth.
I wonder what do you ‘see’ when you look at my eyes? I can’t believe the difference in my eyes… no matter how much I smile… they still ‘have that expression’… it used to be when I smiled, it would be in my eyes, they would sparkle with laughter.
I keep repeatedly coming back to the photo taken a few months after Tommy died… I don’t know ‘why’…..
|January 2011… 6-7 months after death of my son, Tommy…|
|April-March 2013… 3 years almost since my son died.|
|Before most of my family I loved, died… before so many
bad things happened in my life… before life experiences began
to show on my face… in my eyes.
- Chasing Myself In The Mirror… (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Damnation… Hellfire (I’m Not Apologizing… I’m Not) (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Lost In… Grief (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- To Get A Glimpse Of The Real… Me (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)