By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
A long line travels along my left shoulder on my back in a backwards ‘C’. Not only does my left shoulder have a backwards ‘C’, there’s a backwards ‘C’ on my right shoulder… on my back.
I look on my neck… I see two separate little ’round’ scars. Below them are two more much bigger scars… both of them on the right side of my chest.
On my sides, I have scars… two. All of these scars go together… from two major surgeries… both done one year apart. The same type of surgeries… thoracotomy. I had a mass resting on the outside of my left lung, heart the first time. The second time, inside my right lung….
Oh, my God… the pain I’ve had in my body since; I will have it the rest of my life… severed nerves, a rib removed on each side. A little portion of my right lung removed.
I think today, thoracotomies are done differently… maybe not cause all the pain I suffered recovering for months… the pain lasting until the day I die. Since then… I’ve known pain everyday… minute. I have ‘bad’ days when it’s worse than others… so be it… I’m living. I want to live… I love life.
I have learned to welcome this pain, no matter how bad it can be. It’s the ‘extra’ pain from injuries… and such… that can get me. It’s like pouring more water into a glass that is already full… too much.
The scars I mentioned… are from surgeries, chemotherapy to save my life. I had non-Hodgkins lymphoma… I’m in remission now.
The point is … I’ve been thinking about tattoos lately. I told you these things to lead up to my thoughts… today.
All my followers know that I want only one little tattoo… a small dragonfly in memory of Tommy. In memory… of the time my son lived, was a real person. When someone sees, reads… they can see another ‘story’ about me. They will see it… Tommy won’t be forgotten. I wrote ‘I Cry For Tommy’… so, he wouldn’t be forgotten.
This led me to think about permanent tattoos… it came to me… I already have ‘permanent tattoos’… they are there to tell a story. A story about events in my life. If one knows how to read them… they can go scar to scar, tell exactly what happened at this time in my life… that time.
The only difference … these scars aren’t in ‘picture form’. You see the scars… they are lines in shapes, but… not in a picture to tell you what you are looking at. They don’t have happy colors on them to make you feel good looking at them. My scars would make you think things such as …. oh my God, you hurt… you suffered greatly.
I was thinking that if I had colors put on these scars… make them beautiful… one would see them differently. One wouldn’t ‘see’ the pain beneath each… wouldn’t cringe thinking I went through something so terrible.
I have more scars… there’s one on my knee where I ran as a little girl, chasing my brother through the house. I was constantly re-injuring my knee in the same place… no matter how I tried… my knee would hit the toolbox in the hall.
On the back of my right leg is a long scar shaped sort of like a ‘L’. My cousin pushed me in a wagon… backwards into a ditch. In the ditch was a broken gallon jar with jagged edges… it cut me as I was thrown out of the wagon.
Strange enough, all these years later… I learned from another cousin that she was the one who told him to push me into the ditch…. we were very young. I think I was maybe … six years old.
I remember being at the hospital… a big cast put on my leg. My step-father carried me when we went places. I remember having to rest in a room with the shades pulled… it was a nasty injury.
I have more scars from other surgeries… there’s one on my left shoulder… a line scar several inches long. I had a torn rotator cuff, had it repaired. I think today… one can have it done leaving little evidence of a bigger surgery.
I was thinking… suppose I had each scar done in happy colors… suppose I had a picture done on each to show what happened. Like maybe a broken gallon glass jar with jagged edges done with the ‘L’ shaped scar to tell that story.
I could have pictures done on each scar to show what happened. The only people who can ‘read’ these scars are people who work in the medical field. If I had pictures tattooed with each one… then, the average person could ‘read’ them.
Skip has a long scar on the back of his leg. Not long ago, a man told him he’d had the ‘same operation’. Skip asked him what operation.
The man told him; the operation where they took a vein from the back of his leg. Skip told him… that a little dog had scratched the back of his leg, jumping up on him. ‘See’ how we ‘read scars’?
When Skip was in the tractor-trailer wreck in Moriarty, New Mexico… he had injuries that left scars. Our Pup back then, scratched his knee in such a way, it looked like one of his injuries. People assumed it was also, from the truck wreck. They ‘mis-read’ his scar just as the man did, reading the scar on the back of his leg.
He could have a tattoo of a big truck on one of his scars; tattoo of a puppy (the puppy was Camie/Camo when she used to visit here; now, she is living here… she is part of our family, now)…. on the back of his leg.
I was thinking ‘just suppose’ I had a tattoo done on each ‘C’ scar on my shoulders… like beautiful lacey curtains ‘pulled back’ in the ‘C’ on each side…. then, a beautiful picture to show my heart… a big, loving heart.
In that heart, the names of all the people I loved with it….. Color the lacey curtains soft lavender… color the heart a soft pink (not bright red)… each name in a soft color ‘floating’ around in the heart. Maybe do a hint of window panes …. because we’d be looking through them… have beautiful flowers, and roses … all with various shades of green… swaying softly in the breeze…..
I’ll stop now. I’m getting silly… I’m sleep-deprived at the moment; this is my only excuse. :)))
But, think about it… suppose I just had this scar done just as it is, in a beautiful color… that scar in another beautiful color. Have every scar done in more different colors… no pictures. It would be like ‘confetti’ floating around!
Suppose, each scar was a ‘string’… and a picture of a balloon was on each… each balloon in a pretty color. Have you ever thought of such things?
Scars are tattoos, too. Both tell stories if you can read them.
- The scars run deep inside this tattooed body… (nomadichead.wordpress.com)
- Scars & Tattoos (likeburning.wordpress.com)
- Finding the Right Tattoo Artist (everydayhealth.com)