Let Me Burn In Hell!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee in three above photos…
Two flies were on the glass of the storm door. One flew a short ways, landed once again on the glass. I watched several minutes, got up… unlatched the storm door, opened it. I let those two flies go their way.
I don’t like flies, I normally grab the fly swatter. This time… I was too lazy to walk to where I kept it. Too much trouble, when I am already standing here at the door.
The sound of the tv in the background. Old, whiney, teardrop music… a tear in my beer; Miley Cyrus ‘twerking’ again, nude on a wrecking ball. The image came to my mind… her old, big tongue crawling out of her mouth again… like a sea snake poking its head out to prey on something. A … hungry, big-ass tongue.
What’s wrong with her… she has the world by the tail… and she’s come … to this. She is young, full of life, thinks the world is all about her. You all know we’ve been there… done that. There was a time when each of us… thought the world was about … us.
I sense that’s where she is at in life, now. The sad thing is that big, old tongue is defining ‘who Miley Cyrus’ is. This past weekend… it wasn’t only her tongue at work… she was slapping a midget’s… little ass! One dressed in pure white… at that.
A lawyer begins talking about social security disability. Just tell him, he’ll get your benefits going… you don’t have to do a thing… but, be disabled. If you aren’t disabled… just be, anyway.
A red van passes by slowly… I look closer to see ‘why’. These days, one never knows…. a car load of older, black people. I recognize them… no, they had better not stop. I look at the ‘No Solicitation’ sticker on the storm door.
I begin closing the wooden door. I can’t talk to them. I respect their views on religion… but, don’t come here to shove it down my throat. I won’t allow it. I saw what your religion did to my mother, stepfather. Family members… It ……….. them up. This is my take on it. I’ll voice it, if I want to.
I locked the door, stood with my back against it. I know what happens next… sure enough it does. The sound of a horn began blowing… the driver has parked in my driveway to sit, blow the horn, signaling that he wants me to come out. He wants to shove religion down my throat, so… he can feel happy with himself. He has saved one more soul from going to hell, today.
Go away, leave me alone in my hell. If I’m in hell because I don’t believe as you do… let my ass burn. I’m not going to be swallowed up in a religion, I don’t agree with. I’m not going to let you brainwash me.
I’ve watched your flock destroy family members… you won’t get that chance with me… then, leave me alone later… never to be seen or heard from again. Come sit in my home, drink my coffee and eat my coffeecake while you sit there … superior to me. Who do ‘you’ think you are?
You sit there spewing the things you have been taught to say… not realizing how you sound. Just get this soul… and go your merry way to grab another one. Why would… I… listen to you? Someone who isn’t that intelligent… yes, of course… you look very nice. Being dressed well doesn’t get it. It’s what you say with that mouth of yours… you tangle up your words, not sure even of what you are saying.
Why would I listen to you? Why would I open my door for you to come in, tell me I’m going to hell? How do you know? You can’t answer that question when I ask you that. You begin sputtering words that don’t make sense. How about you leaving, never come back? Go fool someone else… you don’t fool me.
I believe in God with my very Heart. I know there’s a God… I’ve witnessed miracles in my time. I’m a good person… though I don’t go to church. I don’t have to ‘go out there in public’… prove anything.
I don’t have jump up, down… pray so loud that everyone will see what a good christian I am. I don’t have to wear my fancy clothes to make you think I’m something I’m not. I don’t have to look down on you, to make you… think I’m superior to you.
Nor do I have to tell you… you are going to hell if you don’t believe in my religion. Yes, you surely are going to hell… no ifs and buts… if you don’t fall down on your knees now… accept my religion. Amen!
Here, take this book, it’s self-explanatory… read it, it’ll set you free as an eagle that soars across the sky. You’ll be perfect, no matter what you do… this religion will cover all your sins… it says it all.
No matter what you do, you can still preach the word of God… and tell people they’re going to hell, if they don’t be what you are. Not one of you can answer my questions in the nicest way to satisfy me so, that I feel I should… go on your path, travel with you on your sure way to heaven. I’m not going to be one of your 44,000 people to go to heaven… I’m surely going to hell, since I don’t believe in you.
Go your way, I’ll go mine. We’ll see if we ever meet one day… who knows? The table may turn… and your path goes down… my path goes up. You can’t preach anymore… though some of you never practiced what you preached. I knew many of you… it seemed you wanted your cake, eat it, too.
I knew enough of you from the time I was a child… to know I don’t want your religion. What? You can’t be friends, unless I accept what you believe in? Go, enemy… go your way. I’m sorry you feel that way. I love everybody… I don’t expect everyone to believe as I do.
How do I … know my way is the one? I don’t… but, you will quickly say… it’s your way… or no way. I don’t say that… I respect, accept you the way you are, what you believe. I don’t have any books, papers to push on you, tell you that you need to read them… if you don’t… you’re going to hell.
Stop… don’t you preach at me anymore. You don’t know what hell is. I was born in hell… as a little girl I played with the flames of hell to survive the burns given to me. You want to know what hell is… look at me… it’s in me. Only the goodness in my heart, my soul protects the hell from reaching out to grab you, to burn you. I’m a good person… I can’t say I don’t have the hell in me… because, I do.
It’s all about trying to be the best person you can be. About choosing good over evil… loving, caring, giving …about people, animals. What can you add to that? I knew it… you don’t know what to say now…
I know why you were recruited in your religion… you hoped it would help you get out of not having money, material things. It didn’t work, did it? Yes, I know you’re wearing pretty clothes, I don’t deny it.
Yes, you look so nice… but, how do ‘you feel’ inside? Do you feel … godly; do you feel that peace inside? I knew it… I can see your eyes mirroring your soul. You must not have heard that your eyes mirror your soul. Your eyes… say it all.
I’m sorry, I care with my heart that you aren’t happy. I can see you don’t feel inside… what you preach. Until you truly feel passionate about what you believe… don’t go around trying to convince someone to come over to your side. You are looking down, now. Your head is bowed… is that a teardrop on your tie? Are your shoulders shaking? Did I hear a sound?
I looked away out of respect, my heart felt heavy. Who was I to say what I did? I looked back, felt compassion. I walked over, put my hand on that person’s shoulder. I hope how much I cared traveled through my arm … from my heart … to his.
I think his eyes opened… he saw something wasn’t right inside of him. He may have thought about who was he to go tell someone they are going to hell if they don’t convert to his religion. Maybe he was crying for the people he’d convinced in the past to join him… misery loves company. Now… they were left floundering… while he moved on to… save more souls.
He was fishing in the sea… pulling those fish out, one by one. Throwing them up on the shore, forgetting them… fishing for more. What had become more important to him… was fishing, catching all he could…. while the ones he’d caught… perished on the shore, wasted, never knowing what was… next. Left rotting on the sand… never no good to anyone… to themselves ever again.
I saw that happen time after time through time. I saw fish floundering… on the shore. The people who caught them, went their happy, merry way… only interested in what else they could catch… throw on the shore. They never looked back at the damage they did… they never looked back to see the impression they made.
Are you trying to go into that all over again? Did you not see what you are doing? If you didn’t, I doubt… there’s hope for you. Your brain has been washed… until you have no sense of anything anymore. You only know how to fish… throw fish on the shore, never looking back to see what you’ve done.
Don’t give me that book… you’re still fooling yourself. Leave now, I gave you time when normally I don’t. Why? To see, if I were fooling myself… if I were being fair… to give it another chance.
Oh, hell no… I don’t want no part of you. Who are you to tell me I’m going to hell? I’ve already been there… I know what it’s about. I feel good inside being myself. I’m a good person, no matter my mistakes. I went on to be better, I always will. I have peace of mind knowing I don’t do wrong. I don’t try to lead others down paths I don’t feel at peace on… you go your way, I’ll go mine.
If I go to hell, at least I’ll go with peace inside… knowing I didn’t lead people astray. My ‘hell’ will burn with the warmth of love, caring, giving… it’ll burn with the passion of wanting to be the best person I can be. So, let me burn in hell!