If She Was Going To Live Now… She Might As Well Get Started


If She Was Going To Live Now… She Might As Well Get Started

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

She sat up slowly, tried to focus her eyes

Closed them, opened them hoping to clear them

Of Death’s glaze that almost sealed them forever

She put her hands over her eyes

 

The pain… pain everywhere, nowhere the most

She looked over to the steps that led up on the porch

Looked to the door… then, to the sky

 

Where it was blue, white clouds before… it was getting dark now

She wanted to be in the house if she couldn’t lay here dead

Afraid of the dark outside, more than the darkness on the inside

She began to push herself up to stand up

 

She trembled, almost fell back down to the ground

Determination pushed her ass to stand up

She stood as she meant to, if she was going to live now

She might as well… get started

 

She put one foot forward, held it firmly to the ground

She wasn’t going to fall down, she had to make it inside

She was afraid of the dark, something might get her

Being alive brings its fears… the darkness was one of them

 

She put one foot in front of the other

Until she got to the steps… if she had to crawl

She was going up them, she didn’t make it this far

For nothing, she’d get herself in that house

 

Lock the door against the night, sleep on the floor

If she must… it didn’t matter now, if she lived

Everything past death a short while ago is a plus

She could … ‘not be’ … doing anything … now

 

Holding onto the hand rail, she pulled herself up

Until she got to the top, stood there, slowly looked around

She didn’t know she’d see all this again

The big oak tree in the yard, the yellow bushes with flowers

 

When she closed her eyes last, she never thought about

Ever seeing again the things she loved

As these thoughts went through her head

Where before… no thoughts were being thought of

 

She reached the storm door, opened it… went inside

Closed the wooden door that was still standing open

How long ago did it get left opened

She couldn’t think past this moment, she locked the door

 

She walked slowly through the living room, down the hall

Turned right, went into the bathroom … turned the faucet on

She propped herself on the counter, put her face down

Splashed cold water onto her face, in her eyes

 

Toothbrush in hand, she put the toothpaste on it

Brushed the taste of death out of her mouth

If she was going to live, her teeth were going to be clean

When she was stronger, she would get into the shower

 

For now, she was going to lay down

Sleep the sleep of life, not death

Either way, she wouldn’t have to feel the pain

That pushed her into Death’s arms

 

When and if… she woke up, she’d decide what to do

For now, it didn’t matter… she couldn’t change a thing

No strength was left in her mind, her body

For now… she couldn’t do a thing

 

Hours later, her eyes opened, her ears heard no sound

She lay there, letting her mind fill with thoughts

She felt anger, pain in her heart… she knew now, what to do

If she was going to live now… she might as well get started.

 

4 thoughts on “If She Was Going To Live Now… She Might As Well Get Started

  1. Hi Gloria! 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and comment! 🙂

    Yup: I promise not to allow this new-found wealth to change me! 🙂

    I’m praying for the Big One, but the odds are VERY long… 🙂

    Hope you have a great weekend! 🙂

    Just had a news report that a cargo plane full of Japanese spare parts was forced to jettison its cargo.

    Yup: It was raining Datsun Cogs… 😉

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

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