The Christmas Tree That Wouldn’t … Grow


The Christmas Tree That Wouldn’t … Grow!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

This is the only Christmas tree we put up after Tommy died… I never knew Christmas would become important again in my life…. well… this year I put the big tree up for the first time…  it only has lights on it because… I’d given all our decorations away.  I knew I’d never use them again…. now… we have to begin accumulating Christmas tree decorations all over again.  :)))

 

Through time, we will… the lights are what make me happy to see… so, it’s alright.  I may just get a big bow with long streamers… place it at the top.  :)))  Christmas has come back alive for me… for us.  I love the sounds, excitement listening, watching others as they go about their ways to plan their Christmases…. this is the first time since Tommy’s been gone, I’ve felt this way.

 

…………………………..

 

Many years ago, we had opportunity to go by, see my little brother… his young family.  No one in my family was very close… but, it didn’t alter the fact, that I … loved them.  I always wished for closeness of a ‘family’… for me, I have never known such in my entire life.  I’ve almost… and it would be like a dream.. and go away.  I learned never to take anything for granted… because… honestly, you really can’t.

 

What you have now… might not be here… tomorrow.  I treasure what I have now… because I’ve lost everything in my life at one time or other… never ‘expecting it to be gone… tomorrow’.

 

I’ve lost almost every member of my ‘family’… I know the grief, pain of losing a mother, brother, and every family member.  I’ve lost many pets… we lost our home to a house fire… I almost lost my husband several times due to wrecks ( both times he was hit by a woman)…. and he had colon cancer.  Not only that… I’ve ‘lost myself’ not one time… but, more than several times in my life.  I’m a cancer survivor (non-Hodgkins lymphoma), I survived going into congestive heart failure… and other things I won’t mention… until one day when I write about them.

 

I lost my son, my only child… this was the worst thing to happen in my whole life… I almost didn’t… survive this.  Truthfully… if it hadn’t been for Skip… my husband, soul mate, hero, best friend… I would have never been here now.  You see… the moment I found out my son was dead… my life stopped.  I died at that very moment.  No one could have killed me ‘then’… I’d never known it… I was dead.  I would have just smiled at them, I’m sure.

 

The good thing is… I made it back to … Life.  I write to remember Tommy… I won’t let him ever be forgotten.  I write my life/colors so, I won’t be forgotten…. for two little children I’ll never know in my lifetime… because of one of the mother’s dishonesty to the other mother.  I can’t know one grandchild… and know the other at the same time… one mother doesn’t want me to talk to the other… she’ll find out that she’s been lied to.

 

It’s just an unfortunate, sad situation… where a big sum of life insurance money was ‘partied away’ when it should have been divided between 4 parties.  I won’t know my grandchildren because of mistakes, lies one mother has to tell to cover herself… and for children to learn what she did with… their money.  I’ve accepted that… I know young people make bad mistakes.  I’m sad… that I can never know my son’s children.

 

They look ‘just like him’… it would have been exciting, wonderful to watch them as they become adults… to ‘see my son’ in them as they grew up.  I have their mothers… to always remember for this.  I’m sure this will come back to ‘bite them in the ass’ one day… it’d be fair if it did.  I don’t hate them, I still love both.

 

Don’t feel bad for me… I’ve come through Hell my whole life… I’m used to having to cope, accept things I can’t change.  Life has been that way… I still go … forward.  I almost didn’t this time… but, everything’s going to be alright.  I can… now.

 

My story today wasn’t about the above… though I did let it flow through my fingertips to my keyboard…. it’s here now. :))))  What I wanted to tell you is about the time my young brother had his first Christmas tree.  He had just married, and was so naïve.  They had Christmas, and afterwards he had planted his Christmas tree, so, it wouldn’t be wasted.  That was his plan from the beginning… have Christmas…plant the tree.

 

 

We went to visit him… he had ‘planted’ his Christmas tree in his yard.  It’d been planted for a month, or so…. but, it appeared to be dying.  We walked around it, looking at it.  I asked him did he dig the hole deep enough.  Yes, he’d dug it deep enough.  Skip asked him if he’d been watering it….. yes, he’d been watering the tree.

 

We all stood around it, talking about things… catching up on things.  A thought came to my mind… I asked him where did he get his Christmas tree.  He named off a Christmas tree vendor he’d gotten it from.  I knew of them… and my mind kept trying to think of something…. something that kept trying to surface.  All of a sudden, I asked him… did your tree have roots on it?

 

No, he said… it didn’t have roots, but…. that didn’t make any difference because…. everyone knows ‘when you plant something’… it’s supposed to grow!   Needless to say… I was almost to my knees from laughing so hard… I couldn’t speak for laughing.  He stood there…. after several minutes (that’s why I couldn’t stop laughing…. it took him several minutes to become aware)…. he began to laugh.

 

He, Skip and I had the best laugh.  It was a ‘good laugh’, not one to hurt.  My brother …. pulled that tree up… not by the roots, either!   :)))  Now, he knew ‘why’ that Christmas tree wouldn’t grow!

 

19 thoughts on “The Christmas Tree That Wouldn’t … Grow

  1. We all need roots, don’t we!! Lovely post. I could feel your pain… as the mother of 7 children, I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose one of them. I think it would only be the others that would keep me going. I cannot imagine the devastation of losing your only child. What I can say is this: forget the money and who screwed up and sqaundered it away. Instead, patiently and consistently reach out to both of the mothers and offer to be the grandmother every child needs. They will resist, get caught up in their own quarrels, talk smack, and then one day, the patient consistency will pay off and they will call you with the needs of a child who can only benefit from loving grandparents in their lives, and then, you will see your son again! Blessings to you, for I believe you truly deserve a little good to come your way. Take care… ~Tiffany

    • Tiffany, I appreciate all you wrote, and you are so right about everything. I wrote that only for now… because I know I’ll never see my grandchildren… they won’t never know ‘why’.

      You are right… The day of reckoning will come, and they will be caught up in their things. I’m so sorry that will happen. I don’t like to see dishonesty, ugliness in people.

      I do reach out from time to time to see my grandchildren… I won’t get to know them in my lifetime… and if I do… it will be a miracle.

      Both have big families to love them… I won’t ever be missed. I’m happy they have such wonderful family support… on my side… no one is here …they’ve all gone now. S

      o, one little person isn’t going to be missed. That’s okay… I know they are happy, treated good, and loved… and thought special. It’s about the children… not me.

      I thank you for taking time to tell me your thoughts… and I agree with you whole-heartedly. I can forget all of that now… Gloria :)))) Thank you for taking such time in writing to me… that was very special.

      • Believe it or not, you will be missed! I can tell through your words you have much to offer. A child can never have too many people loving them. I didn’t always get along with my in-laws, but I have always cherished their role in the lives of my children. As we have all grown older, I’m glad I took the time to separate myself from that and not let my personal feelings impede their relationships. I have an idea for you because you are a beautiful writer— go out and buy a nice hardbound journal for each of those grandkids and start writing to them! Write them letters about your life, about your dreams for them, about their father, and leave out all the negatvie drama that surely some not so smart girls will have already spewed from their toxic mouths. It can be a treasured gift you leave to them so that if they really do miss out on getting to know you, they will someday have a window into who you were and how you loved them from a distance. Never give up on them, they may need you more than they need anyone else. You are their last tie to their father, and that makes you more precious than any of you know just yet! ((((((HUGS)))))) to you.

      • Oh my… I just felt such emotion from your words. What a beautiful idea to buy two journals, one for each. Only write to them… none of the negative… the ‘not so smart girls’ can take care of their own.

        Only write my ‘Write them letters about your life, about your dreams for them, about their father, and leave out all the negative drama that surely some not so smart girls will have already spewed from their toxic mouths. It can be a treasured gift you leave to them so that if they really do miss out on getting to know you, they will someday have a window into who you were and how you loved them from a distance.’

        How wise this is… this is so beautiful… and no one has ever suggested such to me… I didn’t even think of it.

        Thank-you from my heart. You have stood out to me … making you special. Gloria :))) Such wise advice… real.

      • To me, children are our most precious gifts. I write to each of my children in a journal. Not as often as I’d like to, but it was actually something my mother did when I was little and I cherish that old spiral more than she’ll ever know!

      • Do you know… I just sat here and imagined my mother doing such… if she had… I would have felt the very same way as you do. What a most special thing to do… one would know they really meant something to another person. Children are the most precious gift, you are so righ… and the journal is one of the nicest things a person could do for them. This is something I’m going to do…. not only that, I do artwork… it will be all in one place… words, drawings… for each child… I’m so happy you suggested this to me. :)))

      • Tiffany… I’m the person who always loves to hear advice, what others think when it’s presented to me the way you did. I can’t think of a more gracious way to tell someone things that really do help… make so much sense. I, for one, appreciate it… and I’m honored that you would care enough to voice what you are thinking. ‘That’s Why’… you stood out to me… and I really liked you for that. I sure am not so perfect that I can’t continue to learn the whole rest of my life. :))) I’m honored to call you ‘Friend’, also. Gloria :)))

  2. Hi Gloria! 🙂

    Yes, I have them as my adoptive family, but it would be better if they didn’t keep selling me to the investigative journalists as it makes it hard to relax when I visit! 😦

    This endless cycle of set-ups (which I pass easily) and subsequent loss of trust is hard to deal with.

    At the moment I appear to be guilty until proven guilty and it is VERY wearing! 😦

    Thanks hun – Maybe one day it’ll happen hey? 🙂

    Love to you, Skip and the pups! 🙂

    Prenin.

    • I’m going to say that you have stood out to me, also, with your wise words. So meaningful… real. I appreciate you caring enough to comment, and send the links to the two stories. The one that truly touched me, made me emotional… was the woman who went to have her second child… the death of her husband, then… the eagle and the baby… and her other child. I cried… as I read on. Thank you for this. It was so beautiful in the end… so sad… so ‘bittersweet’…..

  3. Hi Gloria! 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and comments! 🙂

    First Comment!!! 🙂

    Yeah mum is doing OK, but the osteoporosis is worrying and she may not have enough bone density to have a hip and/or knee operation which is worrying… 😦

    I managed to get Pat’s present which I’m sure she’ll like and I can afford to pay for it so I’mhappy, but with money so tight I’ll be glad to have a Christmas dinner I didn’t pay for… 🙂

    Oh to WIN THE JACKPOT!!! Wooohooo!!! LoL!!! 🙂

    It’s nice to dream… 😉

    Second Comment!!! 🙂

    Yeah the storm was bad.

    Scotland saw sustained winds of 114MPH at one point with even bigger gusts.

    Down here it was around 75MPH with Gusts up to 100MPH so it was a bit rough, but we lost no trees and the kids now have something to tell their grandkids! 🙂

    The flooding wasn’t as bad as 1953 despite the water rising far higher and we only had two dead and a bunch of injured, but the flood walls were breached and we’re expecting more high tides tonight, so the fight isn’t over… 😦

    I’m just thankful I live on a hill!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  4. Hi hun! 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and comment! 🙂

    Yes it was the worst storm in 60 years apparently, but only two deaths and a few injuries Thank God! 🙂

    Because of the flood defences and pre-warning we had it was possible to evacuate everyone in danger and limit the damage, but over a thousand homes were flooded and a lifeboat station was washed into the sea, presumably still containing its lifeboat! 😦

    Yes, Mr. Mandela was a good teacher and he healed a country torn by racism and prejudice.

    He will long be remembered for his good acts and his lasting legacy! 🙂

    Merry Christmas my friend! 🙂

    Love and huge hugs!

    Prenin.

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