Anyone Watching…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates and her Son, Tommy…

(I’m fortunate to have this photo… it survived a housefire)

 

 

I become aware of myself from time to time

As I go about doing my daily things

The other times, I’m in a trance

I don’t think about things at all

 

When I become aware of my thoughts

I catch myself standing… my eyes half-closed

My head tilted to the side, my ears

Trying to hear sounds from the past

 

Anyone watching would see a woman

In deep, deep thought

What she’s seeing, no one else can see

She’s in her own mind… she’s in the past

 

A little smile plays on her full lips

Her eyes soften… diamond teardrops fill them

In her mind, she sees a tall, gentle giant

Who is smiling back at her

 

He walks toward her, holds out his arms

I love you, Mama… I miss you, too

She closes her eyes as the ghost of her son

Hugs her tightly, she hugs the… air back

 

Anyone watching would see a woman

With arms reaching out as if to hold someone

Tears streaming down her cheeks

She seemed to be hugging someone, but… it was… herself

 

Anyone watching would see her lips move

Hear her say… I love you, too… Son

I miss you with my very Heart

Please don’t go, stay here for a while

 

I have so much to tell you, I have a lot to say

You have to go… you can’t stay but, a moment?

Please come back as soon as you can

I’ll always watch out for you, I love you, Son!

 

Anyone watching would see a woman standing

Standing, watching something they can’t see

Hear her speak, listen to someone they can’t hear

See a woman crying her Heart out, sobbing… please don’t go!

 

I go about my daily things, my eyes burn

I think about my precious Son…

I’m … inside myself … looking inward

I’m trying to enter the past

 

Try as hard as I can… I can’t find the way

I mentally feel with my hands, trying to part the way

I look past things that try to attract my attention

I don’t want to think about this… that… I want to enter the past

 

I want to go see my Son… back when he walked, talked

I want to hear the sound of his voice, his laughter

Hear some of his funny jokes

Reach out to hug him tightly… kiss him on the cheek

 

Anyone watching would see a woman standing there

Many expressions pass on her face

While she stood there, unaware

Of herself…. as she came back … to herself

 

I felt a bittersweet smile on my lips

My cheeks felt wet as I reached up to touch them

I became aware that I was crying silently

Anyone watching would hear me say… I miss you, Son

 

Anyone watching would see a sad woman’s face

Quickly turn into a bright smile when she saw them

Anyone watching would hear her say… I was sad for a moment

But now… everything’s going to be alright

 

 

 

 

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