I’m Not Going To Write Anymore…
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee… 2013
This morning I got up still thinking about something that has bothered me since I published my book, Camie’s Angel… last week.
I haven’t felt happy about making several mistakes on a name in my book… it took the whole week to get it right… and wait until it was changed in my book. I kept resubmitting it… getting it back… sending it back for review over, and over… until I got the ‘Congratulations’ email.
I was unhappy because no matter what I did… I got it wrong… and kept on to correct it. Have you ever made such a dumb mistake?
Have you ever felt so bad about something… and the less said about it… the more hurtful it became? I’m at this stage now.
I have the option at anytime to take my books out of print… I have been considering it. I wonder if any other writer/author has come down to this level… feeling bad enough to do that… bad enough to… stop writing? To say ‘to hell with it’.
I wasn’t trying to get rich, writing. My books have made very little money…
I did have the satisfaction of becoming a published author… I did have the satisfaction of getting copyrights from the Library of Congress in Washington, DC… on my three books (I’ll be receiving my third copyright in the next several months)… I was very happy to have accomplished that.
I have experienced unhappy feelings since last week on Camie’s Angel… when I should have been very happy.
I feel I did well on my short story of Camie’s rescue. I look forward to holding in my hands a printed copy of it.
I’ve found such pleasure in writing… I wrote my grief when I grieved over my son, Tommy. Now, I am feeling sadness from my writing. I wonder how normal that is?
I’ve noticed people acting different since they’ve learned that they’ve known me all this time… but, they never knew I also, write… now, they act different toward me.
I don’t tell people ‘everything’ about me. I am private… I don’t feel the need to ‘glorify myself’… never. I go on to forget a lot of the time… about the good things about me.
Anyway… to make a ‘long story’ short… for the time-being… I’m not going to write anymore.
Oh Gloria I’m so sorry. I think it may be a normal reaction. When I published my first anthology someone took pains to point out mistakes I’d made and I was mortified. Same as you, I rectified them but it took the shine off what should have been an exciting time.
Recently I’ve had a series of poems published by a publisher and they made a spelling mistake in one of my poems – again I’ve not advertised the book much as I feel conscious about it.
If you enjoy what you do then don’t be put off. Take a break by all means, but please don’t give up! As for others treating you differently, well hold your head high because you are a valued writer. There’s a lot of us cheering you on from the sidelines.
Keep going, you’re doing great.
I didn’t know anyone had experienced this, or had a similar problem, Alex. I have had this on my mind all day, and I told Skip that I’d quit writing. I really hate to make a mistake… and it upset me greatly. Today…. since my book went on sale last week… all just surfaced, I felt like a breakdown. I just didn’t know anyone felt like this. Yes, I will think about this because writing has ‘saved’ me when I lost Tommy. I ‘pure love’ to write. Alex, thank you for taking time to write me. It means the world to me. Love, Gloria
You are more than welcome – I am so delighted that you have changed your mind 🙂
I had three people proof read and still small errors went unspotted. I guess these things just happen. All we can do is rectify them and resubmit! I tend to have the paperback delivered and read through it before I put it up for general release – but saying that I still missed and error! It ate me up too. I think it is all part and parcel of writing. I have seen web pages aimed at picking holes and picking out errors in books such as J K Rowling – so if it can happen to her, then it can happen to any of us!
So dear lady…. pick up your pen, flex those fingers and get writing again 🙂 xxxx
:))))))) Alex, thank you for being there! I am going to pick up my pen… and do just that! :)))))))
I’ve felt disappointment over things I’ve written, and/or the reaction to it. But I couldn’t stop writing. Maybe I would write and not share it. But I couldn’t just stop writing. I find it easier to write than to speak. I’m sorry Gloria.
Colleen, I just read Alex’s comment on my email… and I came here, and I’m seeing all of these comments. I’ve been feeling better this evening… all came to the surface today… I felt sick inside. People act different toward me since finding out that I write… I never talk to anyone in person about the ‘real me’… so, people didn’t know… I think it makes people ‘mad’ that they didn’t know, Colleen. Not only that, it hurt me that I made a mistake on a person’s name that I cared about. Oh well… I know everything will be alright… this isn’t the hardest thing I’ve been through. I just think ‘everything’ built up inside …today. :))) After reading yours, and Colleen’s comments… I know I’m not going to give up on my writing… I love it. Thank you for caring, Colleen. Love, Gloria
This is wonderful news Gloria. I understand the frustration of writing and reactions (or no reactions to it). Or making mistake and trying to correct it. That, I can understand. I’m glad you are going to continue. It seems to me, you and writing and art go together. You seem to feel better when you can write it or draw it out. ❤
Colleen, how right you are. You made me feel better with your words, Colleen. I have been amazed at the people who have cared. You are always there… and I love that! No one else calls me GG/G… :)))) You did understand what I meant.
😉 I did GG/G. And I’m glad you feel better. See, writing it out DOES help. 🙂
It really does, Colleen. I’ve been staying away from writing a day or so…. I am ready to begin again! :)))))))))) You.. and everyone have made all the difference in how I feel. I love all of you! GG/G :))))))
Know how you feel – but I think we write for ourselves, and have to keep going. So far my writing has cost me more than I’ve made. And I look at some of my poetry and think it’s not so good, but I’ll keep going.
I am so happy I came here tonight to read all of your comments. I was so, so down today. I wanted to cry… to just ‘storm’. Thank you so much for taking time to write me, also. It means so much to me. Love, Gloria
Oh no! I recommend you read Brenda Euland’s book and it might restore the joy of just connecting words like a child threading beads onto string. I envy how I felt writing my first novel–sensations that I cannot experience now writing the second. It was a period of bliss, ignorance, isolation, with no pressure. Publish a novel and the whole landscape of writing changes. But deep down, and sometimes we must really mine deep, the love of writing is still there and that’s what we must focus on. Like a child stringing beads…
PS. Have you ever read how different F Scott Fitzgerald’s work was before his editor, Perkins, got his hands on it? Remarkable. And Hemingway was a notoriously bad speller. Mistakes, shmistakes!
‘Like a child stringing beads’… I love that. I’m going to keep those words in my mind. Yes, I had read about the bad spelling of Hemingway, and so forth. Thank you for telling me these things… all of you who have commented have touched me deeply. I’m feeling differently tonight. Thank you for telling me something I can repeat to myself that’s special…. ‘like a child stringing beads’. Love, Gloria
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If you stop writing I will BOP you!
Never give up hun – life is a learning experience and nobody gets it right all the time! 🙂
Love and squishy hugs!
Prenin, thank you.
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It’s the ‘low’ that follows after the ‘high’ I believe. And I think it’s a fairly normal reaction. But, if we’re writing because we have something we need to say, then we just have to push through and continue, regardless of what other’s think. Don’t give up! Push ahead in life and your pen will follow. 🙂
Thank you… I realize that now. :)))
wisdom comes, hopefully, with experience. 🙂