Big Fat, Naked Woman … With A Gun!


Big Fat, Naked Woman … With A Gun!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

e2d47-4-20-2013076

 

She was in the shower when she heard a loud noise that wouldn’t stop. It sounded like the house was coming apart!

Just before, she’d been thinking of going on a diet to lose 50-100 lbs. She really needed to… she couldn’t see any purpose in… being fat. None at all.

Her mind identified the noise! It was the sound of the front door… breaking apart! She went into shock, froze… she had no weapon close by to defend herself.

Her mind raced… what to do! She was naked… so, she couldn’t just bust out of the bathroom with no clothes on to run to the bedroom to grab her gun! No, she was… too fat for someone to see her! Even to save her own life!

Before she could think… she went into action. She slipped out of the shower, tiptoed to the open door… peeped out. She didn’t see anyone in the hall.

She moved quickly to her bedroom… went to the nightstand, opened the drawer quietly. She stood for a moment, took a deep breath. As soon as the thought came into her mind to get her robe… she heard the intruder coming down the hall!

Oh, my God! I’m naked… so… fat! The intruder will see me! I will die ‘fat and naked’! I don’t want anyone to see me like this! I don’t want to die, naked and … fat!

Before she could think any farther, once again… she went into action. She ran across the carpet, silently. Stood just inside the open bedroom door… she heard him near the door!

The intruder froze in pure shock, never expecting what happened next.

A huge … naked woman jumped out of the bedroom door in front of him, brandishing a pistol in her hand. Her wet, long hair was dripping water… there was hell in her eyes!

He was taken by surprise, he completely forgot ‘why’ he was there. The woman had jumped out in front of him, screaming at him… pointing her gun at him. The sight! He knew he wasn’t seeing what he thought he was seeing!

His mind simply couldn’t take in what his eyes were seeing. A crazed, monstrous-size woman… a crazy, naked… huge woman standing there in front of him… her legs spread out, feet wide apart. She was fully prepared to shoot him!

He didn’t know how afraid the big woman was of him. She was bluffing his ass off! She kept screaming, acting crazy. It was working! She could see that now… he was the one who was scared!

She began walking toward him… she didn’t care if her fat bounced, jiggled as she walked. This fat was helping to save her life! “Drop that damn knife, you b_____”! The intruder dropped the knife to the hall floor. She walked in front of it, backing him up farther.

They reached the bathroom door… she reached in to take her cellphone off the countertop. She held the pistol tighter as she dialed 911… looked the intruder in the eyes as she told the dispatcher to please send help… someone just broke in on her… and she had her gun on him… she would shoot if he made a move! Yes, yes… she’d leave the cellphone on until help arrived.

She could see her purple robe hanging up on the door across from the bathroom. She wanted her robe desperately. She nodded her head for the intruder to move backwards down the hall farther… he did.

She grabbed her robe with one hand, pulled it to her. The rack fell to the floor… she never looked at it. She ignored the thought that she needed to pick it up. She began pulling the purple robe on with one hand… the whole time, glaring at her prisoner.

She put the fear of God in his eyes… from the hell that blazed out of hers. There’s nothing quite like a crazy, fat … naked woman pointing a gun at you! It wasn’t … a funny sight!

She heard, saw two deputies come into the living room. They saw the situation… took control.

The man began screaming to get him out of there. There’s a big-ass crazy, naked woman with a gun who was going to kill him! As the two deputies handcuffed him… they looked toward the lady. One of the deputies picked up the knife in gloved hand, put it into a plastic bag.

They didn’t see a crazy, big-ass, naked woman. Instead, they saw an older woman with fear, tears in her eyes… trying to smile. Her hand was shaking, as she turned off her cellphone… she had put her gun down inside the bathroom door.

She had on a long, attractive robe… a beautiful shade of purple at that. She seemed calm, though… one could plainly see she’d just suffered a fright.

They just didn’t see a crazy woman in front of them. They began to watch the intruder closely… he was not only intruder, he was unstable.

The deputies led the man out the door… he twisted to look back at her with wide eyes. She opened her robe… made an awful face, grinned… at him! The man went off once again, making the deputies look back at her.

They didn’t see anything but, the nice woman this man was going to hurt, possibly kill. This man was crazy, they thought as they left with him.

The woman watched as they left. She closed the broken door… someone would have to repair it. She was amazed at her fat self… a short time ago, she couldn’t think of any purpose to being fat.

Being fat for the first time in her life… in this situation… had served her well! She had shocked the intruder almost to death! She grinned….

She thanked God, the … whole world … didn’t see her naked. Yes, being fat in this situation … served her well. It saved her life!

No one knew but, her and the intruder that she was a … big fat, naked woman with a gun! She got satisfaction when he looked back at her… and… she … flashed him!

This story was written for by me: http://www.personapaper.com/article/3355-big-fat-naked-woman–with-a-gun

Photo Credit: Photo is owned by me, #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #GrannyGee

This story came to me as I was taking my own shower… I even giggled as I thought about writing it … it’s not … a true story! The story, words are my own. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Big Fat, Naked Woman … With A Gun!

  1. STILL laughing!!! 🙂

    To borrow a quote from Face book: “You can tell a lot from a woman’s hands. If she’s holding a gun she’s probably angry!” 🙂

    Love and huge squishy hugs!!! 🙂

    Prenin.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s