I Had Lost My … Self
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I found ‘myself’ for a moment here … in the mirror. See my happy smile! Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Well … I’m a middle-aged woman. It came sooner than I knew. Of course, there have been at least six to ten years in my life of life-threatening illness, and the loss of my son … that numbed me to life.
So, I don’t count those years in my age. That’s right … it’s not fair to add those years to my age … I don’t remember living them. Isn’t it amazing to be … so, in another world, you can’t remember life?
That means things in life were so … bad. Fighting a battle to live from disease, illness… fighting a battle to live when one of your most loved ones … dies … your very own child.
There’s no way you can imagine such, if you … yourself, have never experienced it. You might say you do, because ‘so and so’ in my family is sick, or going through such. There’s no way you know … unless ‘it’s you’ … who go through it all.
Can you imagine ‘waking up one day’ … to ‘look for yourself’? This would sound strange to you if you’ve … never done it. Imagine being in a coma … you know nothing for months, years … you wake up to life … and you begin living it … becoming aware of life again.
You become interested in being a person again … you look in the mirror … you don’t ‘know the person in the mirror’. You begin to ‘look for yourself’ in the mirror each time you go to it.
Once in a while, you might ‘see a hint of the self … you remember’. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that is! ‘There’s you’!
I’ve done this twice in my entire life. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I would run, grab my smartphone … take a photo of ‘me’! The sad thing is … sometimes, ‘me’ disappeared before I could get the photo.
Then, I would see a person in the mirror … I didn’t recognize. I had lost ‘my … self’.