“Mama … Everything’s Going To Be Alright” …


“Mama … Everything’s Going To Be Alright” …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee

 

 

 

 

 

A young mother gives birth to a baby boy

The birth was unlike anything she’d ever known

She had an unusually hard time bringing her child into this world

Be quiet, the nurse tells her, quit making noise

The mother is in horrible pain, bites her hand to hold it in

Other women older than her, were crying … moaning

She had been the only one who was quiet at the beginning

Until she couldn’t bear the pain any longer

Now … she was told to be quiet … she really tried to

The night before her baby was born, there was an earthquake

She was in labor, in the worse pain

Felt her bed move, thought it was her imagination

Maybe her little son was fighting to not be born

He was carried 10 months in the womb

Labor induced on a Monday … he was born on Thursday

All signs pointed to her baby not wanting to be born

Looking back as an older woman, she ‘sees’ why

Her son went through much heartache, sadness in his life

She remembers panicking when her son was a few weeks old

Looking down at his sweet, little face

Oh, my God, what have I done … bringing a child into this mean, old world?

Thoughts of not being able to protect her child from pain in life

Made her lose her breath … oh, why … did she bring this innocent baby

Into the world? She held her baby close to her chest, closed her eyes

She knew she would protect him all she could

Also, knew … there would be many times she couldn’t keep him

From feeling pain … feeling pain in his heart, his body

She knew very well the pain life could have as one became older

Being betrayed, hurt by people who claim to love you

The worse being family one was brought up to trust

Please God, protect my little baby all through his life

Don’t let him know the pain I’ve experienced

Please let people he trusts, never let him down

The mother worried over her child, he was a part of her

When he hurt … she felt his pain just as if it were her

There came times in his life … she couldn’t protect him

Things he had to learn on his own … he never knew how she cried

Knowing he was hurting … couldn’t take the pain of life’s lessons

Away … make it easier for him … she would have if she could

Her baby grew up, she loved him with her very being

He was the only child she ever had … she wouldn’t have any more

Life was hard with only one child … she couldn’t bear to have another

Then … one day … a phone call came … ma’am, I have a collapsed man

Here … on the sand; he’s not breathing

She … died that day … lived in darkness so, she couldn’t see, hear … think … it was too much

Her mind keeps going back to the ocean where her son died

She hears the sea gulls in her mind … they are always singing

Tommy, come home … Tommy come home

Her mind focuses on the soft, damp sand where her son laid

Collapsed, no longer breathing … two blockages in his heart

No one knew he’d been sick … he died at the young age of … 40

She ‘sees’ angels on either side of him, softening his fall to the sand

They stand, watching over Taban … his 3 year old son, until …

The little group of people noticed, came to help

In her mind, she hears the sea gulls joyfully singing …

Tommy, come home … Tommy, let your spirit soar with us

It’s time for you … it’s your time to … come home

No longer does the mother cry … finally she has peace in her Heart

She wrote the grief in her Heart … it was her only outlet

People all over the world, her husband … comforted her

They read her words, cared with their Hearts … shed their tears

Let her know … she wasn’t alone; Now, in her Heart

She wants to say thank-you to everyone of you who cared … you mean the world to her

Thank-you from my Heart … my readers/followers are a part of me

Just as my world (Skip and our 3 Pups) are to me

I treasure knowing I’m … really … not alone … you are there for me

I’ve only become stronger for all my pain … I’m alright, now

Four years, I fought the waves of grief … became lost in the sea of darkness

Thrown against the rocks … my soul tearing apart … I couldn’t bear the knowledge my only child was gone forever

Today … almost 4 1/2 years later … I’ve been waking up each morning

With joy, peace of mind … happiness I haven’t known in so long

Gratefulness in my Heart … knowing … everything is going to be alright

My only child died … almost destroying me

The only comfort was knowing we were close, he knew he was very much loved …

By the mother who brought him into this world … who never knew … she would live to see her only child … die

I’ve outlived my son … something no parent should have to do

I’m at peace, now … the comfort of knowing nothing can hurt him

I can see his sweet, sweet smile … his loving eyes, his soft voice saying to me … “Mama, everything’s going to be alright”

Photo/true poem is owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee &grannygee.

Note by this author:

I never thought I would see, feel happiness … joy in the rest of my life.

Somehow … a miracle has happened inside of me … the sun shines on my very soul, warms my Heart … making it easy for me to smile again.

I am so thankful … no one can imagine what happens to a mother … when her child dies. No one realizes that a mother comes close to death, herself … coping with such a terrible knowledge.

It is a … miracle … when a mother can come out on the other side of grief … to smile again.

I’m one of the mothers who can … I know it is ‘almost impossible’ to reach where I am at … inside. I made it … I’ve really made it.

I have been writing my grief all this time, keeping my promise to ‘tell you like it is’ … you know some of what I have experienced … there’s no way I could tell you ‘all’.

I ‘wanted to help myself … wanted to come back’ … to make it to … ‘right now’. I ‘wanted to come back’ … live the rest of my life smiling … not waste it … crying.

A mother can still grieve in ‘a good way’ for her child … reach a point she can be alright, again. This mother can … now.

Who would have thought my journey through the world of ‘pure grief’ … would turn out this way? I’m so thankful …

I promise keep my promise … to keep writing about ‘my grief’ … so, you can always ‘see where I’m at’ … Love, Gloria/Granny Gee

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on ““Mama … Everything’s Going To Be Alright” …

  1. From your earlier entries to now, I see how writing has helped ease the pain of your grief and I’m happy to know that you are feeling joy once again. I can only imagine that Tommy is sharing that joy with you and thanking God you now feel more than just pain and grief.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s