It’s Not About Vanity At All …
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Photo is of me … my beautiful hair! 🙂 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
My hands fluffed, played with my hair. I love my hair. It’s thick … curly, full … below my shoulders. I don’t fix it all the time … I let it be wild. My fingers love the silky feeling curls.
I’ve always fluffed it, run my fingers through it. I wear perfume in my hair … my hair smells as nice as I do! No matter how ‘wild’ it is … my hair smells good.
I don’t mean to be vain about my hair … sometimes, someone may think that I am. The truth is … I appreciate my beautiful hair with my very Heart. I’m not vain at all … I’m most grateful for all my hair.
Cutting my hair short, in hopes that it could stay just like it was … I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red from crying my Heart out. I’d just had my hair cut short … I don’t like short hair at all. I’m looking back into the past … back to … then.
Just before cutting it, my hair was midway down my back … so many wonderful curls. Now … it’d been chopped off … honestly, it wasn’t ‘chopped’ off. The beautician had cut it in a nice way … she was gentle when doing it.
I looked back in my mirror … oh my God! My hair, my beautiful hair! I was told it was going to be worse than short hair … but, I couldn’t imagine. I was going to … lose all my hair!
I began crying once again … scared, ashamed. How many women want to lose their hair … become … bald-headed? How many? I was almost tempted … not to cut my hair at all … not lose my hair at all. If I had made that decision … of course, there’s no way I would be sitting here, writing.
Vanity for my hair … has through time … turned into gratefulness to have hair … long hair once again. I’m so thankful for it every day. So, if you see me playing with my hair, fluffing it … just know that while I’m doing it, I’m still aware of how it felt to not have it … know in my mind, I’m thanking God for it.
I had been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma … CANCER. That’s how the word cancer was seen in my mind … in giant letters. I almost didn’t survive it … now, I have a heart condition from the drug, adriamycin. I am glad to be living … it was a trade-off to live.
I lost my hair twice, due to chemotherapy drugs. I had two major surgeries, twice. I went through chemotherapy two separate times … the second time, my hair was beautiful … short, curly … happy hair!
Can you imagine … no, you honestly can’t anymore than to imagine losing your only child … how it feels to be a woman … with no hair?
Think about it for a moment … I can imagine you thinking you are so glad you have your hair. Can you imagine … not having any choice in the matter … getting cancer, taking chemo treatments … losing your hair? No … you can’t … these are things you can’t even imagine. I pray you never experience it.
Losing one’s hair, as a woman … isn’t just losing one’s hair. A lot more is involved … like a nightmare one is living in, wants to get out of.
Over the days after the chemo treatments began … my scalp became very sensitive. Oh, how my skin on my head … hurt. Touching it … felt painful, awful. I wish I could describe how it really felt. The drugs …
Taking a shower became an ordeal … my hair began to come out as if nothing was ‘holding’ it to my scalp. Can you see yourself, standing in horror, looking into your hand … seeing your beautiful hair laying in strands … across your palms? You hurry to the mirror …. I hurried to the mirror … oh my God.
There were places on my head … there wasn’t any hair! I knew then … why my scalp hurt … had such a strange sensation in it. At nighttime … my scalp hurt when laying my head on the pillow.
I cried so much … how could I let Skip, anybody … see me like that? How could I? Everyone loved my hair … ever since I was a little girl … people always commented on my beautiful head of hair. Now … it was … all gone.
Without going into further detail … time has gone by … years. I have two awful scars on my back from those two surgeries … I’ve been trying for years to get my hair ‘that long’ … to reach those scars. Finally … I have done it.
Charolette, my beautician … has made it possible … she understood. In the past, beauticians have always cut it shorter than I wanted them to. She trimmed it, always … exactly the way I asked her. In fact, she was the one who had cut my hair with compassion … just before I lost it. I lost track of her through the years … found her again, this past year.
Hair … my hair … my beautiful, wonderful, happy hair! 🙂 Don’t I sound so vain? I think you know by now … it’s not about vanity at all.
Photo/true story are both owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
#losing one’s hair
#Gloria Faye Brown Bates