Things are Already Good when Bad Things Happen …


Things are Already Good when Bad Things Happen …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

 

May is the saddest month of the year for me.  I have some serious emotional periods of time … still yet.  I thought this May would be different.  Maybe … it’s going to always be like that.

That’s part of being a grieving mother … May is the month my child died.

May is the month I shared my last Mother’s Day with my son … two weeks before his death.

May is the month my brother died from an overdose.

May is the month … a stranger’s life collided with my child’s life and changed his life forever … for one year exactly until his death.  A horrible accident.  My Son lived in Hell for exactly one year leading up to his death … survivor’s guilt.

Yet … this is what shines out from May.  Just because something is all bad … doesn’t mean there aren’t good things hidden just behind them.  That’s right … for example:

I found out yesterday from my oncologist something I didn’t realize … when he came in, sat down on a stool … rolled up to me, looked me in the eyes, said in a quiet voice, “you shouldn’t be here today”.

Instantly my mind began seeing a vision of my calendar.  Yes!  Yes, I had an appointment with the oncologist today!  I told him in a soft voice that my appointment was for this day.

All was so quiet … he smiled at me, repeated what he said … “you shouldn’t be here today”.  By this time, I am becoming confused, until … it began to dawn on me like the sun coming up in the early morning.  Ah-hhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh my God!  I’m beginning to hear something different than what I thought.

“Sixteen years … you shouldn’t be here today with what you had”.  98% of people who had what you had … aren’t living today.

That meant … I’m in the 2% … who survived the battle of non-Hodgkins lymphoma.  All battles aren’t the same.  I walked on the edge of death for three years.  It almost got me … more than one time.

I fought Death like Hell, writhing in pain the average person will never know.  I still go through pain … ‘forever’ pain to live.

Every day of my life I am reminded.  That’s from the two major surgeries I had, called Thoracotomy … I had TWO … one is bad enough.

Today, I live in pain … my trade-off to live.  I don’t take pain medicine for it.  I find it hard to take pain medicines … if I do, I’ve become most desperate.

Getting back to my oncologist … I sat there stunned, shocked … cold chills went over my body as the realization of what he said, sunk in.  I didn’t know that!

I knew I was a miracle … but, I didn’t … know how much.  I’ve lived 16 years of life when … 16 years ago, I should have … died.  Can you stop, imagine someone telling you that?

Isn’t it beautiful, amazing, wonderful, special?  I’m smiling as I write that.  Isn’t that a reason for the month of May to have something happy, good in it … in my life?

Oh, I can’t forget … Skip’s birthday is on May 13th.  Isn’t that special?

Oh … Skip is a miracle, also.  He survived colon cancer.  I battled non-Hodgkins from 1998 until in the 2000’s (3 years I battled to live)… Skip was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2000.

I was still sick when I took care of him.  He took care of me while he was sick.  We were alone … no one was here to help us.  Tommy was in Germany.

We both are lucky to be here today because … those weren’t the only times Death came looking for us, almost took us away.

So yet … this is another good thing about May … Skip lives to see another birthday.  I’m here to see it.

I have so much to be grateful for … no matter how bad things get in my life.  Because … they are already good when any bad happens.  I just have to stop, remember.  Anything good that happens is a special thing … a bonus in my life.

This really is true … I’ve lived it many years … I ‘know’ it … no matter how bad things get … good things happen.  Some things like this … have already happened.

Because … like in my life … things are already good when any bad happens.

Photos/true story are both owned, written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

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2 thoughts on “Things are Already Good when Bad Things Happen …

  1. Gloria, you are not a survivor – You’re a fucking WARRIOR!!! 🙂

    Happy Birthday Skip!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs to you both my friends and big hugs to Camie and Kissy!!! 🙂

    Prenin.

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