WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NARCISSISTIC?


Why Are Some People Narcissistic?

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

‘Nar.cis.sis.tic … having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.’

Almost everyone has some narcissistic traits.  I copied the definition of narcissistic online at http://www.halcyon.com .  The definition goes on to explain more in depth about narcissism … it’s complex.

Do you have a narcissistic trait?  I bet you have one … or two.  I’m ashamed … no, not ashamed … to say I did as a younger woman.

Let me give you a little history of how that came to be … with me.  No one is the same.  I was a ‘good’ narcissistic … meaning I didn’t take advantage of others to get what I wanted such as men, material things … etc.  I didn’t let what I thought of myself hurt anyone.  I was just so happy to … be me.

That doesn’t look right. I don’t want that to show.  I almost let people see this!  Oh God, I did let people see this!  They’ll know I’m not … perfect!  Woe is me!  I’ve got to make this look … perfect!

I turn this way, that way in the mirror.  Oh God, how beautiful I am, I’m so thankful to finally be beautiful!  I can’t believe how pretty I’ve become!

Touching my face, my body … perfect … perfect enough for me to feel happiness.  Starving, doing without food … constantly exercising … it feels wonderful to be … beautiful.  After all, isn’t that what life’s about?  I’m a person … I’m somebody!  I’m … beautiful!

I wish there was a ‘Delete’ button in every aspect of our life so we could delete anything we didn’t want in our life.  I don’t mean to kill or harm anything … but, just send it along its way to someone who wants it in their life.

There was a time I used to be narcissistic in my life.  It’s true.  I grew up to look like I wished to … ‘beautiful like my mother’.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

I loved me, I pure-loved to be photographed, I loved to dress my body.  I knew I looked beautiful in most anything.

It was all about me in my world … but, I didn’t forget to do good things along the way.  I cared, loved people at the same time.

I had a big Heart.  My ‘best friend‘ was jealous of me … I was blinded to that … I loved her dearly.  One day my mother pulled me aside to make me aware …

You can’t have a best friend who is real, when … you are ‘beautiful’.  In my world, you couldn’t.  They become jealous, resentful … and want everything you have.  My best friend even tried to take my mother by talking bad about me.  My mother knew.

I dressed my body in the most beautiful clothes.  It’s true … I was like that.  I wasn’t ‘bad’ because I was like this.  I should have been … no, I shouldn’t have been.

(There’s a little Gloria Devil sitting on my left shoulder saying I should have been.  The little Gloria Devil is the one who loves to kick ass, pay someone back and not be nice about it … it’s a good thing I try never to listen to her 🙂

I try to listen to the Gloria Angel on my right shoulder.  When I don’t, I’m not happy.  Sometimes …

Women hated me, men loved me.  The strange thing is … women didn’t have to hate me.  Jealousy made them hate me … they automatically thought I would ‘go after their man’.  They … automatically … thought wrong.  But … you couldn’t tell them that.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

You couldn’t tell them I wasn’t like that.  You couldn’t tell them that I grew up where all the women were beautiful … and wild.  They didn’t mind going with another woman’s husband, boyfriend.  I saw a lot of grief in my young life … you couldn’t tell them I didn’t want to be like that.  Beautiful, yes … but, not in a bad way.

I made a mistake once … my ‘best’friend and husband lied to me about one of their friends.  They said he wasn’t married, the man said he wasn’t married.  I dated him … later found out he was married.

I will never forget the hurt I unintentionally caused that lady.  I told her … myself.  I knew how it felt, I had experienced such as a young, married girl.  I cried for her … I was lied to.

I know my ‘best’ friend loved it.  She liked setting people up to see what happened.  That must have given her immense pleasure.  I didn’t cause her grief, I minded my business.  I could have destroyed her marriage, life.  I went my own way.

You couldn’t tell every woman … ‘hey, I’m not interested in your life, your husband, boyfriend’.  They already made their minds up on my appearance.  Too pretty, too beautiful … she’s got to be bad.  Well, I can understand that way of thinking.

I came from a family where one did have to worry when they met up with beautiful women in my family.  They weren’t always honest, sincere … faithful.  It’s the truth no matter which way you look at it.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Beautiful women … men … dangerous combination.  No matter whose man … life is like that … deal with it.  I know you don’t like it, neither do I … life is like that.  Nature … animals … summertime … everything comes alive.  Life is like that.

The beautiful women in my family … were/are the best friends you didn’t want to have.  Sad, but true.  Deceit, always something hidden in ways no one saw. Oh my wonderful, loyal friend … no one needs a friend like this.  Stick with your enemies … at least they let you know up front how they really are.

Expressions, touch … you get my drift. Secrets … everything’s a secret … more secrets.  Sh-hhh-hh don’t tell this, don’t tell that.  Blackmail was one of the games played when I was a little girl.  May the best man win … oh … no, may the best woman win! It was played just as often as Scrabble, Monopoly was being played in every home.

If one of the women got pissed off … they would begin to blackmail the other.  I’m going to tell this, that … if you don’t give in to my demands!  They were my role models … a lot of the children’s role models at my Grandma Alma’s home where we were thrown to, while the mothers just took off to come back … months later.

I can ‘see’ it, I know what to see, look for, listen for … I know all the tricks.  I don’t let anyone know that I do … I just smile, go on.  I’ve been there, done that … seen that, felt the grief from having it done to me.  I don’t play games with anyone … they hurt, destroy.  When I take action, I just simply mean it, once and for all.  I don’t play games.

I could have … caused a lot of grief in a lot of women’s lives.  As much as I ‘hated’ women growing up … it’s a wonder I didn’t try to pay ‘all women’ back for all I suffered growing up … from a woman’s hand.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee  (Photo of me in blue is damaged by fire… black spots on face)  … my beautiful mother in white blouse on left.  Daisy Earlene Strother …

No one knew that growing up … I watched, listened, suffered from things ‘women did’ because of deceit, lies, ugliness … all stemming from … beauty.  They made me lie, hide things … be a part of things as a little girl. I didn’t want to be a part of it.

All I wanted to do … was be a little girl.  I didn’t want to be in the … grown up world.  Pure Hell … always hell-raising.  At any moment, hell would break loose.  This little girl was always in the middle of it … no choice.

If the women weren’t making my life Hell … there was always a man’s hand … somewhere … ready to reach out to help take my innocence away.  Men who were ‘somebody’ … in the family, out of the family.  Everyone looked up to these men … I did too, a little innocent girl who … had no choice.  No choice, no words to describe why I cried, hurt.

I grew up with a fear when a man’s hand reached out to me, until I understood not every man meant ‘bad’.  I prefer men over women any day.  They are usually more honest, straightforward … like me.

Women on the other hand … I didn’t grow up to learn they were all good, wonderful, trusting people. Women … are different.  There are only a few women I truly respect, love and care about.  That means they are for-real good people … I can count them on my hand.

I’m amazed by them because they are for-real good people … unique people.  They’ve been good to me when they didn’t have to … cared when they didn’t have to.  Cared while I never knew.  They are in my Heart always.

I haven’t always known such caring from … women. Some of these women aren’t even from this country … they’ve touched my very soul, my Heart at the deepest.  I love them.  In my whole life, only my grandmothers were like them, to me.  They’ve been gone many years.

I began telling you about narcissism … my narcissism as a young woman.  Maybe this can explain just enough ‘why’ beauty meant so much to me, then.  I learned at an early age that I wanted to be beautiful … beauty meant power.  It does in today’s time.  Whether you or me … like it or not … beauty means power.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee … and Stafford, my Rottie …

Power to me meant I didn’t have to let anyone bully me, run over me, push over me.  I was … ‘beautiful enough’ … people respected me.  When I walked into a room … I became the focus.  I was beautiful ‘enough’ to keep people from hurting me.

No matter I was a good person, faithful, not deceitful … a real person … when I appeared … women saw me as a threat.  I look back now … some of those women would have deserved it … if I had been.  Too bad I wasn’t a wicked female …

Just maybe … that’s … why … the beautiful women in my family caused other women such grief.  Because some of them deserved it. I just didn’t have the desire to because …

I learned to love myself … my body.  I was kicked around as a child, slapped, beaten, thrown … because I was my father’s child. I knew how pain felt from losing everything as a child, everyone angry wanting to slap, knock me around.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

I always knew that everything good was meant for other kids … no point in me thinking about it … when I heard, read something good about kids … I knew it didn’t mean me.  I accepted that as a little girl.  No, it didn’t mean me.

I knew something so special to other little girls like a Barbie doll … wasn’t something I would ever have.  Something as special as being in the Girl Scouts wasn’t meant for me to be in.  I wasn’t good enough.  All the wonderful children’s movies at the theater … no, it wasn’t meant for me.  I was nobody.

I was my father’s child, that was for sure.  Who in the hell was this man who was called my father … who caused me such grief as a little girl?  Why was I slapped in the face when a certain expression crossed it?

Anger, screaming words came at me like shooting a pistol non-stop …  ‘you look like your damned father’!  The all-powerful slap came next … I was lucky if I wasn’t thrown around, slapped.

One aunt in particular beat me unmerciful … to the extent of picking up a piece of firewood, beating me until blood ran on my arms, legs.  She hurt me really bad, physically … mentally.  I had loved her with my very Heart.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Her long fingernails scratched my face, got caught in my curly hair.  Sweat, anger, fire … blind, stunned, shocked at being thrown around hitting furniture … odor of blood like smelling pennies.  Hell breaking loose … I was a rag doll in her hands.  I wasn’t big enough to fight back.

That was once of the worse beatings I ever had … she tried to blackmail me with a little Timex watch.  She thought as a little girl I would gladly take her damn watch … never let my mother know what she did to me.  My mother tore into her at a later date … it was bad.

Why did she do that to me?  She was an angry teenage girl … I peeped into her wonderful bedroom … it held a record player … music!  Wonderful music!  I paid for that.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee and Skip

I wasn’t the only grandchild who was fascinated by her bedroom … the record player, records!  Music!  I know she screamed at them, I don’t think she beat the other children who were my cousins … they had their mother … they all lived next door. Their mother would have kicked her ass … being her older sister, also.

My mother took off and was gone for months … it was what she did as a young woman.  It left me to the mercy of all those around me … no protection for a little girl.

So, when I became a beautiful young lady … would you believe I didn’t know it?  I was living in another home of Hell … my father’s home.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee … with my father, whom I never met until the age of  9.  I look at this photo … he seemed so proud, happy to see me. I never saw that expression before or after this photo.  This photo stands out to me … how amazing.

His home was a wonderful home, spotless clean (oh, how I loved that!), laughter, joking … fun. Everybody’s feelings were important.  The only thing was … I wasn’t a part of it.  I was resented.  My father was afraid of me … he couldn’t talk to me.

There wasn’t any place for me as a child to know calm, peace, quiet.  I never felt good about me.  I hated myself, and several times I did try to die.  Hell from every direction.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

When I ran away from my father’s home … I began to realize how pretty I had become.  My father, living in his home … had numbed me to myself.

I lived in a wonderful home … I was the only un-wonderful thing there … I was my beautiful mother’s child.  I truly wasn’t wanted.  I won’t go into all of that.  I give you credit for that wonderful imagination we all have.

Boys whistled at me … I remember the first time.  I turned to look at who was being whistled at.  I didn’t see anyone.  Do you know what I did?  I just looked down, went on doing what I was doing … I knew they weren’t whistling at me.  I was nobody.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

My mother made me aware at how beautiful I was.  She was so proud of me!  She let me wear her clothes … I was amazed when they fit me … perfectly!  She was so beautiful, small with a perfect figure!

Oh my!  When she made me put on something of hers to show me I could wear them … that was all it took!  My eyes began opening … I had wanted to be a fashion designer … why … I had my own body to dress now!  I was beautiful!

Can you even imagine a young girl discovering she was what she wished to be … blind to the fact she was long before she realized it?

Getting back to narcissism … I was to a degree.  Just enough that in my mind, I didn’t have to ‘take any s___’ from anyone.  People just don’t treat beautiful people … ugly.  They don’t.  Think about it.

When I dressed my body, walked and talked with confidence … I won’t even begin to describe how wonderful life was, how special I was treated.  I loved myself … why I was perfect … perfect for myself to be happy with.  I finally loved myself, until …

I eloped to get married.  Fourteen years of marriage … a young girl isolated in the grown up world … left alone.  Alone … while her husband took off to be with other women.

His friends came around to ‘see him’ … knowing he was gone.  I became afraid again … no one was around to protect me … I was 14 miles either way from any town.  I had grown up in town … there were night lights, traffic, people.  There was only the deep, pitch-black darkness at nights in the countryside … strange sounds.

I became most unhappy, angry, afraid.  I wasn’t anybody again.  Just some wife sitting home waiting for a husband who couldn’t be faithful.  I gained weight … never realizing it.  No one treated me the same anymore … the weight hid the beauty I had.  I was still pretty, but … I didn’t know it anymore.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

His friends did … they kept stopping by making me afraid.  They would stare at me, make comments … I should have taken them up … but, I wasn’t like that.

I couldn’t cheat.  I should have done that, too.  I didn’t.  I should have paid the women back in my young life, and cheated like Hell … something in me … I couldn’t do it.  I thought about it.  If I’d been like my family … I would have been ‘bad’ to the bone, and some asses … would have been fixed.  I wasn’t like them … what went wrong … right?

I’m still at an age that I wonder about being good as possible.  It seems life is very good for bad, dishonest, deceitful people.  They don’t lack for anything … they don’t have to worry.  The world is at their fingertips.  They don’t have to go without … they can do bad, and have everything they need.

 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Sometimes, I tell Skip that being bad … is good.  I really don’t mean that when I say such.  It’s that we’ve been through so many things in our older years … we’ve always tried to be good people, make up for any mistakes we have made through the years.

We aren’t going to change … being good is being good … and we can live with that good feeling inside.  That’s what making mistakes is all about … going from them to be the best person you can be.  Learn from your mistakes.

When I came out of that marriage … I became like a swan … beauty came back.  I could smile at the world, I was my own person … everyone loved me again.

Narcissistic … how other people became that way, I don’t know.  I know why I was like that.  I had finally come to love myself, feel like ‘somebody’.  We all have ‘things’ in us from childhood.  That was one of mine.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

I didn’t think I was better than anyone … how could I have been better?  I didn’t come from people known as better people.  I didn’t think I was more beautiful than anyone … but, I was beautiful enough for me to like myself, be happy each day to wear beautiful clothes.  It meant the world to finally like, love myself.

I think being narcissistic in my case is/was different … from the people who ‘have it bad’ 🙂  Mine was more innocent in a way to just measure up, compare with the beautiful women in our family.  I did … no doubt.  I am a … has-been … but, the fact is … I was.  My photos validate it.  I am proud of them.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

I’m thankful the photos survived the house fire.  Now, I leave them in cyberspace for my grandchildren to see for themselves one day.  I probably won’t ever see them in this life.  They can be proud their grandmother was at least somebody … to look at.  🙂

 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

This is my take on … narcissism in my life.  There was a time I was narcissistic.  This is … why.  Why are other people narcissistic?  Why are you?  What shaped you to be in your life?


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee with All My Children star…

‘Nar.cis.sis.tic … having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.’

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee with All My Children star
Note by this Author:
All photos/true story are owned, written by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  I used to be narcissistic … in a good way.  I was so happy to just be beautiful like the women in my family.  It meant people treated me good, always making over me.  It meant the world to me.
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6 thoughts on “WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NARCISSISTIC?

  1. From adversity to success! 🙂

    I’m no oil painting either hun, but I can relate to your situation! 🙂

    There are many kinds of Narcissists, being proud of your looks isn’t a crime! 🙂

    I’ve known some truly beautiful women who were downright mean to me because they thought they were special and now, years on, their looks are fading leaving only the meanness behind! 😦

    My dad is a psychopath with narcissistic traits that meant he only cared for himself and it didn’t matter what he did – it was his RIGHT!!! 😦

    Love and huge hugs my friend – you are still a beautiful person and that’s all that matters! 🙂

    Prenin.

    • 🙂 Prenin, you understood what I wrote. I am honored … mine was in an unusual way I’m sure. I was kind, and loved everyone. Thank you, Prenin. I should have known you’d know exactly what I was writing. 🙂 Love, Gloria

  2. I never thought I was beautiful. When I asked my mother years later why she never complimented me, she said it was because she didn’t want to give me a big head. I told her she was successful. I was like Beetlejuice at the end of the movie when the witch doctor sprinkled a magic potion on his head and it shrunk to the size of an apple. My dad only criticized me. Always.

    Maybe I would have been narcissistic if I had thought I was pretty or beautiful, but my self-image was so distorted, I thought I was ugly. When people told me I was pretty or beautiful, I thought they were lying to make me feel better about myself or to get something from me.

    Looking back, I see myself through a different lens. Self esteem is an important issue to me, because I know from experience how lack of it contributes to a warped self image. Now that I’m in my 60s, I realize that as far as looks are concerned, I’m considered old now. I don’t know of many old people who are narcissistic 😉

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