Crazy Ass Thoughts We Don’t Usually Talk About …


Crazy Ass Thoughts We Don’t Usually Talk About …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeTwitter @ Twitter

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

Sometimes … when writing a story, article, post on something … I get Facebook Friend Requests.  I check them out each time because … of the timing, the way the person’s Facebook account has just been created … I would be their first friend.

Too strange … I just go on to check them out … and of course … I DON’T confirm a friendship unless for a short time … when I have a reason.

This is always a man … with handsome photos of him … sometimes, he is holding a child.  Now, why in the world would a man with no friends … want to request a friendship with me?  Why … would I be his first friend?

Especially … after he’s just read about my husband, Pups?  Especially after … if I do confirm the friendship long enough to check out more … what kind of friendship someone wants.

Sometimes … that person turns out to be female.  Someone who wants to get on my Facebook Friends to sit there … in my Facebook House … eat Facebook Potato Chips to watch my Facebook Life.

Whether you know it or not … you are bound to have at least one or more … doing that on your Facebook.  I still do … they just don’t know I have a Facebook Eye on them.

I don’t play games with men.  Oh … especially … if I tell that person that I’m married … he goes on to ignore that, hopes to know me, and such.  I can’t believe how some times … a man will just ignore me when saying they want to know me better … I say I’m happily married, and I don’t play games online.  I don’t wait to see what they say … because I delete/deny/unfriend the request.

Does the man think I’m weak because I write real life?  Does he think I don’t have anyone?  Does he think I’m someone that could be molded easily?  Does he think I am a doormat?

Does he think I’ve suffered so much pain that it has made me so weak?  If so … what a terrible mistake that would be.  I’ve become only stronger … wiser.  I will do this until the day I die.

The worst mistake would be to think I’m weak.  The next mistake would be to even think I would play games online with a man … or a … woman.

When I communicate with a male online … I’m very respectful.  I care about people … I don’t play games with anyone.  When I say something to a male online … all is in a good way.

I treasure my male friends … the ones I communicate with … are most respectful, and I know they are sincere people.  If they are married they aren’t afraid to mention their wives, girlfriends.  In fact, they are proud of them.  I love that.

If someone is single … they aren’t interested in silly stuff … they seem to treasure a real friendship just as I do.  No man ever has to worry that I … would want to be friends in a bad way.  All I do online is sincere … I’m a good person … I’m a sincere person.

No one … even females that play games … need to play games online with me.  I’ve been around too long … I will catch it.  I have caught some … they never knew it … I watch them for long periods of time in hopes … I’m wrong.  That’s online … and … in real life.

I always make Skip aware of anything that isn’t right.  All I do online is good, clean … and … not secretive.  I don’t hide anything I do … the whole world can know it … I truly don’t care.  Do I have secrets … just like you … yes, and … I’ll never tell them in this life.

Are those secrets that important?  Yes … and No … but, they are secrets 🙂  I can keep a secret … only people who know me … truly know that.  So … don’t tell me something … if you hope I will go tell everyone … it goes no farther.  I go on to forget about it.

I can see some crazy stuff, a wreck, something off the wall … just something that everyone would rush to tell someone else … I don’t.  I forget it until something reminds me of it again.  When I worked in the hospital where confidentiality was important … I never told people’s medical information … never.

I saw, heard people who did … the local people who worked in the hospital would call at first chance to their friends, say … “I got something to tell you but … you can’t tell anyone”!

They would go on to add … “If you tell anyone … don’t use my name”!   Then … they’d tell them about old Suzy Harrison who lives down the road … saying, ‘Guess what she has … she’s got gonorrhea”!

“Old Jon Brown down the road had done knocked up little Eleanor Sightseer”! “Samson Golightly has had a stroke”!

You know how those people are … they are going to keep up the gossip on their neighbors … because … isn’t that what all good neighbors do?

I knew a lot of … good neighbors at work when I worked.  You know the ones who are the backbone of the community … pillars of salt … the ones who would never-ever do anything wrong … the best Christians who are perfect.  You know them … hellfire, you might be one of them.

How do you feel inside?  Not good if someone confronted you … you’d jump up and down while screaming, ‘No!  I would never do such a thing’!  Liar … that’s what I say.

You are a … liar.  I see, hear things no one else pays attention to … why?  I know what to watch for …  Yes … you are a liar … and you hate a person like me who never says anything … once you look into my eyes … you know … I know.  Liar.

The things I could tell you … but, won’t.  On every job there are things we know, but … don’t talk about.  The things I mention have happened long ago … a lot of those people are dead, gone … now.

There were people at both hospitals I worked at … who disliked me … because they knew I knew.  Words were never needed … the smiles would go on … pass and re-pass … be nice … never feel comfortable in my presence.  The thing was … I filed what I knew back in my mind to know never to trust them personally … I’d go on to forget.

Why do I even look at things others don’t see?  It’s my nature … I grew up with such … I just spot it automatically.  I somehow … ‘know’ people. My Grandma Alma was very sharp … she saw through people.  Rarely … was she wrong.  It always came out in the long run … she’d just smile a little quiet smile.  That’s what I do … I don’t begin screaming, “I told you so”!  I just smile.

To survive … one learns a lot of things to defend themselves … because how can anyone prove they are being treated wrong … if only smiles, sweetness meets the eyes of someone who is looking?

If I’m looking … I look deeper … sense.  I know that even serial murderers have to … fool their prey.  Honey catches more flies than vinegar.  My Grandma Alma … told me so.  🙂

I grew up knowing sweet smiles, sweet voices are a crock of s___.  Yes, I said that.  I pay close attention to someone who is … too sweet.  I smile … when later … I ‘see’ … how sweet they really are.

Have I been fooled?  Hell yes … but, it didn’t take long to find out the truth.  I’m not afraid to confront someone in a quiet, sweet way … doesn’t matter where they are … no one would know what was going on … I don’t like ugly scenes.

I always try to think the best about someone … then … I see, hear what I hope not to.  It tells me the people can’t ever be my ‘real’ friend … if they’ll do their own neighbors, family members like that … who am I to them?  They are sure going to hurt me, too.

Heck, the family I grew up in could be the sweetest damn people in the world … they’d get your ass while smiling, telling you it’s not going to hurt while they stabbed you in the back.  They only wanted you to stand there until … they could get that final death blow in.

You ‘just stand there, die in shock’ … Why?  Because you couldn’t believe so and so … would or could … do such a thing.  I know … I ‘died a million times’ at the hands of … my loving … family.  I was seduced with sweet smiles, kind words until their hands could reach out, grab my little ass up … then Hell would break out not only on my ass … my body, too.

I still loved them, though.  I knew they had some love for me … somewhere in their hearts.  Why sometimes … it would show.  I’d feel so … special.  They knew a tiny bit of love … would go a long ways … with a little girl who wanted to be loved so badly.

The sad thing was … they’d take it away before I knew it … I couldn’t ever take for granted … love.  Love … hate … hot water … cold water … turning that faucet on and off … nothing ever stayed consistent in my life.  Everything depended on someone’s mood …

Thoughts … more thoughts.  Real thoughts … not the best thoughts but, nevertheless they are thoughts that flittered through my mind today.

I know you also, have your thoughts that flitter through … you just might not write them down or … let the light of day see them.  Here, I chose to let them come out into the light so, I could examine them closely.

The good thing here is … none of these thoughts hurt me.  They are thoughts from different times that made me … ‘more me’ … now.  I know that I’m not a false person trying to pretend one way or other to be something other than I am.  I don’t have anything to gain by hurting others.

I know that you will either like … dislike me.  It’s all in what you decide.  I know that no matter what … everything bad in my life has made me a very good person now.  That doesn’t mean I can’t be … mean, sometimes.  🙂  After all, I told you that I’m not perfect … didn’t I?

I’m just sharing thoughts we normally keep to ourselves … thoughts we don’t usually talk about.

 

 

Photos/true thoughts are mine, owned … written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny at Twitter.

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5 thoughts on “Crazy Ass Thoughts We Don’t Usually Talk About …

  1. I am careful who I trust because I have been so badly betrayed, even by family! 😦

    On Facebook I choose my friends and I have a Loooong list of wannabe friends including my brother.

    I’m careful like that! 🙂

    Love and huge hugs my TRUSTED friend!!! 🙂

    Prenin.

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