Unzipping the Fat Girl to Let the Slim Girl Out!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Getting back to the size I used to be … fat girl trying to hold me inside … not let me out! 🙂
Well … I think a lot of you are wondering about my losing weight adventure. I will tell you truthfully … it was good, then it was Hell. I can’t tell you how hard it’s been.
I started out with quite the mind-set. At that time, I knew I was going to drop the pounds quickly, easily. Well, at that particular time I was right. That was a few months ago at least. I was losing good.
A month of doing well went by … then like always … that crucial time of losing weight … hit. This is when you taste something and the next thing you know … you are beginning to eat ‘everything’ once again. This happened to me. I gained 3 of the 25 pounds lost … back! They felt awful … I could actually feel them.
Somehow … your mind has the magical ability to ‘forget’ that you have been eating healthy … you have been doing the right thing. This time I paid close attention to myself while I went into ‘self-destruction mode’.
I watched myself … and it was at that time I was facing two paths in my life … either go down the one of unhappiness of staying overweight for the rest of my life … or get my ass back on the feel-good road of losing weight. Well … I wanted both paths …
Not only that … I didn’t know if I could go back to working on making the weight come off. I didn’t know if I felt like it. My determination, fighting spirit kicked in … yes, I am going to lose this weight if it’s the last thing I do! The rest of my years aren’t going to be looking into a mirror at a fat girl I don’t want to see.
So, I’ve begun doing something I imagine in my mind. I’m unzipping that fat girl and I am climbing out! 🙂
I actually was in a battle with me, myself … and I! It was Hell … I’m telling you it was pure Hell. I was fighting the fat me for … the me who is really to get out of my fat person’s body. All Hell broke loose! I won’t even try to describe all of the battle.
I did a terrible thing … no one likes to admit such things. I will because I think there are some people like me who battle weight every day of their lives. If one doesn’t speak truthfully about such things … then, they need to keep their mouths shut. I will tell you.
I began making myself throw-up … then, ran to brush my teeth, gargle … wash my face, put on moisturizer, comb my hair to be fresh again. I did this as a young person if I dared to gain over several pounds! No, it’s not good to do this … it’s dangerous, unhealthy. Don’t do it … ever!
Do you know ‘what’ made me do that? Pure damn white-hot anger at myself. Because I was thinking … here my ass goes again thinking it’s going to just eat anything I want … and my eyes aren’t going to acknowledge I’m still fat. Hell no-ooooooooooooooooo!
I vowed to myself that I was going to ‘punish my ass’ every damn time I began eating too much. Everyone loves the taste of good food … I don’t deny it … I love wonderful flavors, aromas, good foods.
How many times have I done this since I became … overweight? So many that I can’t even bear to think of them. I don’t suggest to anyone to ‘punish’ themselves by throwing up. I am just being honest … and hope I never-ever do it again. Desperation … meaning to get past the bad time I was having are the whys I did it. Still doesn’t make it a right way to do it.
Losing weight is a bitch … I’m telling it like it is. It isn’t easy. If you know someone who is trying to lose weight … show a little compassion … your ass could be fat one day.
I have gotten to see many people who laughed, made fun of someone overweight … get fatter than Hell. It served their asses right … now, they can’t help but, to know how it feels.
I know how it feels and my size used to be ‘perfect’. I never-ever laughed, made fun of anyone for being overweight. I never made fun of anyone for anything. Making fun of someone … really hurts people. I had my share as a little innocent girl. I see some of those very people … if I had known as a child … their words would have never hurt me.
I would like to tell you that for the past 13 days I’ve been doing well. I chose the feel-good path … why? Because each morning it feels good to sit up on the side of the bed, smile … go look in the mirror and see a positive difference. I’m eating just like I should … I’m very proud of myself.
Another thing I’ve succeeded in doing … cutting out all carbonated beverages … can you believe it? How in the world did I manage to do that? 🙂
Also, I am going to decaffeinated coffee and tea as soon as what we have … is used up.
Not only that … this is a mission I am on and I mean … to accomplish it. If I even try to slide … there’s going to be one hell of a battle once again. I have some more cards up my sleeve.
I mean to win this battle … I’m going to feel good, look good for the rest of my life. I’m tired of being a fat, dumpy, frumpy fat girl when I know … what I can be … once again. 🙂
So, let’s hope I’m not in that battle again … that fat girl tried to zip me up in the fat body forever … it was all I could do to pull me back out halfway. I can’t go back! I’m still … unzipping the fat girl to let me out!
Note by this Author:
Losing weight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I keep seeing in my mind myself as a slim person once again. I mean to succeed.
I look forward to letting go of the ‘fat clothes’ … I am looking forward to being on a new road … journey in my life. It’s me who has control to make it happen. I’ll keep everyone posted. 🙂
Why do I write about it? I know there are people who need to read real life … I need to read it … it’s hard to find. I like to know how things really feel … don’t you? Don’t you wonder if others go through what you do? If they suffer things you do? Don’t you always hope to find answers? I’m no different than you. 🙂
Photos/true story are both owned by me … #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.