I am Still Standing Tall …


I am Still Standing Tall …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

Fall is here once again.  It’s my most favorite time of the year.  I love fall colors.  Warm orange, red, gold, green, yellow, brown leaves blowing in the nippy air!

I know, I know … I’m a little ahead of myself.  Fall is only ‘just here’ … we’ve only felt a little nippy air so far.  Well, it was enough to make me feel very happy!  I love Fall!

I love to dress in warm clothing to ward off the cold.  This year is going to be so much more fun.  Why?  Losing weight makes all the difference in how I will feel, dress.  Did I say I look forward to Fall?

I love the festivals, State Fair, holidays that are on the way.  Yes, I am still sad over the loss of Tommy, my son … my only child.  I have come so far in my grief … thank God.  It’s been the hardest journey in my life to get through.

I’m glad to be … this far … up the road.  In the past year I have found peace inside.  How did I do it?  I don’t know if I know how to tell you.

I will say that I have met my grief head-on, never backing down from it.  I have fought it like a bear, giving it all I had.  I have cried an ocean of tears … lived in darkness not wanting to live knowing my only child had died.

I have been hell …. I have lived in hell inside myself.  I have fought Hell to be here, today.  Everything is going to be alright … now.  It really is.  I can live now.  I can speak, think of Tommy without crying … now.

I have written thousands of words full of my grief.  I published a 700-plus page book of my grief.  When I’m gone … the book will be here to remember Tommy.  The golden-wire and beaded dragonflies will be ‘everywhere’ to remember Tommy by.  They are the dragonflies I make by hand … leave for others to find.

I truly look forward to the holidays this year.  I’ll be able to smile, be able to be happy.  I haven’t been able to do that since Tommy died … and not being able to see my grandchildren.  I’ve coped with so much … now, everything is in place in my mind … and life is good.

If I never see my grandchildren again … I can be alright now.  I’ve had to cope with them as if they are gone, also.  I had no choice.  I have to live … I want to live.  I’m going to live.

I’m like a huge redwood tree.  I’ve weathered many terrible storms.  I am still standing strong.

 

 

Note by this author:

Life has been very rocky my whole life.  Like the redwood tree … I’ve come through many storms.  It’s time for the sunshine to shine down on me with its golden, beautiful light.  I will welcome it.

Story/photo owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

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3 thoughts on “I am Still Standing Tall …

  1. I’m so glad you are feeling better my friend! 🙂

    I shed a few tears of my own on your journey and love you more than words can say.

    Love and huge squishy hugs to you, Skip and the pups! 🙂

    Prenin.

  2. Pingback: His Memory … Their Joy | GRANNY'S COLORFUL

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