I am Still Standing Tall …
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Fall is here once again. It’s my most favorite time of the year. I love fall colors. Warm orange, red, gold, green, yellow, brown leaves blowing in the nippy air!
I know, I know … I’m a little ahead of myself. Fall is only ‘just here’ … we’ve only felt a little nippy air so far. Well, it was enough to make me feel very happy! I love Fall!
I love to dress in warm clothing to ward off the cold. This year is going to be so much more fun. Why? Losing weight makes all the difference in how I will feel, dress. Did I say I look forward to Fall?
I love the festivals, State Fair, holidays that are on the way. Yes, I am still sad over the loss of Tommy, my son … my only child. I have come so far in my grief … thank God. It’s been the hardest journey in my life to get through.
I’m glad to be … this far … up the road. In the past year I have found peace inside. How did I do it? I don’t know if I know how to tell you.
I will say that I have met my grief head-on, never backing down from it. I have fought it like a bear, giving it all I had. I have cried an ocean of tears … lived in darkness not wanting to live knowing my only child had died.
I have been hell …. I have lived in hell inside myself. I have fought Hell to be here, today. Everything is going to be alright … now. It really is. I can live now. I can speak, think of Tommy without crying … now.
I have written thousands of words full of my grief. I published a 700-plus page book of my grief. When I’m gone … the book will be here to remember Tommy. The golden-wire and beaded dragonflies will be ‘everywhere’ to remember Tommy by. They are the dragonflies I make by hand … leave for others to find.
I truly look forward to the holidays this year. I’ll be able to smile, be able to be happy. I haven’t been able to do that since Tommy died … and not being able to see my grandchildren. I’ve coped with so much … now, everything is in place in my mind … and life is good.
If I never see my grandchildren again … I can be alright now. I’ve had to cope with them as if they are gone, also. I had no choice. I have to live … I want to live. I’m going to live.
I’m like a huge redwood tree. I’ve weathered many terrible storms. I am still standing strong.
Note by this author:
Life has been very rocky my whole life. Like the redwood tree … I’ve come through many storms. It’s time for the sunshine to shine down on me with its golden, beautiful light. I will welcome it.
Story/photo owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.