I Was Seeing Tommy … Time Stood Still


I Was Seeing Tommy … Time Stood Still

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

My son, Tommy … and his son, Taban

(Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee)

The man walked by the freezers sitting in the frozen meat department of Walmart.  He was a little over six feet tall.  He had strawberry-blonde hair … it was cropped close to his head.  He wore gold-rim glasses.

He was a handsome man.  I couldn’t help but, stop … watch him as he moved around with his family.  I heard his voice … it made me smile … tears came into my eyes.  He had a soft voice.

A little boy ran around him, his mother, and sister.  He was saying something to his daddy.  The man reached down, touseled the little boy’s hair … that was just like his daddy’s.  I felt a pain in my Heart … like someone reaching inside my chest … squeezing it.

The man looked over, saw me … nodded his head, smiled.  Just like Tommy would do to a stranger.  Polite, nice.

Emotion welled up inside my chest … I felt the urge to cry.  Tears rolled in a warm flow down my cheeks.  Anyone watching me as I was watching the man would wonder why this middle-aged woman stood … watching a younger man.

No one would know that for a few moments … I was seeing Tommy.  I was seeing Tommy, my son … my only child … in the person of this man.  I was hearing Tommy … hearing my grandson, Taban … as they joked, played.

The world stood still … I could only watch.  I forgot where I was.  I wanted to go over … to look closer to see how much the man looked like Tommy in the face.  I was fascinated at how much he resembled Tommy.  At that moment … I was seeing Tommy.

 

 

Note by this author:

I know it is always going to be someone to remind me of Tommy.  Tommy is my son who died May 29, 2010.  He collapsed on the beach (Myrtle Beach) … died … he was doing what he was looking forward to doing.  That was playing with Taban, his 3 year old son.

Tommy and his family arrived at Myrtle Beach that evening to spend a week.  He made it in time … to go on his final journey.  No one knew Tommy had 3 blockages to his heart.  He didn’t know it.

I cry for Tommy.  My tears are silent … there’s no crying aloud.  I grieve in silence.  My grief has been silent since that evening.  I never bother anyone with something they can’t possibly help me with.

For five years … I have worked through this grief.  For the first three years I couldn’t face it … I stayed somehow in darkness.  I couldn’t cope living life without my precious son in it.

Thank God for my keyboard … it has seen such grief, pain … all silent.  Thank God for all of you who have been with me on this journey in my life.  I almost didn’t make it to … today.  I smile now … everything is alright.  No matter how bad … everything gets alright … maybe not like before, but … to the point where one can go on.

Photos/true story are owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

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2 thoughts on “I Was Seeing Tommy … Time Stood Still

  1. I send you a warm hug. I remember when my dad died suddenly when I was 19 and I kept seeing him everywhere. That grief bears no comparison to losing your son which is something I cannot even imagine. I salute you for your bare honesty and open-hearted grief – your beautiful soul.

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