The Month of October … 2015 … My Accident
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Photo of first brace put on my leg at hospital … Skip was holding the crutches, I was in wheelchair on October 3, 2015.
Photo taken at Rex Hospital October 12, 2015 … still couldn’t go to orthopedic doctor … no insurance info … I had no money to pay up-front.
I felt excitement when October began getting closer! Fall time! State Fair! My most favorite time of the year. I looked forward to wearing blue jeans, sweat shirts, and boots with heels (not high but … just right).
I was ready to celebrate Fall time with happiness, knowing I would be able to enjoy it this year. Last year I began to, but … I was still grieving for the loss of my son, my only child … Tommy.
October 3, 2015 … wheelchair I rode in … I couldn’t stand on my leg … I was in ER at Novant Hospital. Skip was holding crutches I was just given.
Tommy died May 29, 2010. He collapsed at Myrtle Beach running, playing with his own little 3 year old son. No one knew he had 3 blockages to his heart.
October 15, 2015 … this was my first visit with orthopedic doctor … he put a brace on my leg.
You can’t even imagine … I can’t even describe how awful holding something so horrible as that inside your mind … you can’t get away from it … you can’t get away from yourself.
I don’t know … or even remember the how I came so far. How I began to cope … live with the knowledge that Tommy wasn’t, can’t come back. Even now … I will feel a ‘panicky’ sensation if I let myself dwell on it. It’s scary … it’s like standing on the brink of a cliff … I don’t want to fall!
My son, Tommy … holding his newborn son born on March 16, 2007 … my only grandson.
I wrote, I cried … I coped with his death living in darkness to protect my mind. Does that even make sense? In darkness in one’s mind … you don’t think anymore than you have to. Somehow enough time and many emotional storms have brought me to … today. I won’t elaborate more on it … I don’t want to take the chance of … falling off the cliff.
October 12, 2015 … when I went to Rex ER. I was in such pain … and hadn’t been able to see an orthopedic doctor. It was 12 days before I had first visit with orthopaedic doctor on October 15, 2015.
Anyway, I was really looking forward to Fall this year knowing this year I would be able to enjoy, look forward to the holidays and … be alright.
October 3rd … I slipped on a slippery tile floor in the restaurant Skip and I loved to go to. The floor ‘sweats’ because of all the steamy buffet bars. There weren’t any rugs, carpet on the floor.
I wasn’t thinking of that when we went inside. I was looking forward to enjoying good food. The manager led us toward a table when … my feet went out from under me. I didn’t even see that fall coming. I heard my left knee cap break … the pain was so great.
These are the shoes I was wearing the day of the accident. You can see that the soles are non-skid. Ironically … they are the only shoes I can wear since the accident … they are safest to walk in, and when wet … they don’t slide.
I just found out that I also, have a spiral fracture in my fibula (the long slender bone between your knee cap and ankle … you have two bones, one big and then, the slender bone … fibula and tibia). I can’t describe what it’s been like since I took that fall. The orthopedic doctor said it was missed in the first x-rays. He said no wonder my leg hurts so bad.
I have lost freedom to do the things I like to do … I have such pain doing what I need to do. I have to go to my different doctor appointments on my own as Skip isn’t available to take me. I can’t tell you how I’ve suffered … and it’s not over yet.
I couldn’t go to the State Fair, or to the Fall Festivals I really wanted to go to this Fall. I’ve experienced riding the electric shopping carts where one sits in to shop. I use crutches, and a brace … it’s taking its toll on my right leg. So many changes in my life.
Me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I write about my life … and this is another ‘color’ of it.
Going to bed is hard … I have a hard time getting up on our bed. Once in bed the pain is excruciating each time I have to move, to turn over, get up.
I have a time going out the door, trying to go down steps. I have to get my nerve up to go down them … I don’t dare want to fall again. It’s just as hard trying to come up the steps.
To drive myself is quite an experience. I have to keep maneuvering my body to get my leg inside … our vehicles are high up from the ground. Oh my … the ungodly pain. I manage because … I don’t give up … I have one hell of a fighting spirit. I mean to get my freedom back to move around. All my life … I’ve lived with pain … emotional and physical. Pain is … has been a part of my life. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less … it just means I’m going to do what I have to do … regardless.
Me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … no matter how bad something is … it will somehow … be alright again.
Sitting down … getting back up … the pain is excruciating. I admit I have shed many more tears from hurting … I still moan, groan when standing up. I try to do it quietly … sometimes, it isn’t possible.
It’ll be some time before it all gets better. I have a positive attitude, I don’t complain. When you read my words you can see that I try to explain how it really is … but, you won’t see me complain.
I love Fall colors, and these are a few of mine. I haven’t had a chance to take photos of the beautiful leaves.
I am sad though … this is my favorite time of the year … and I’m sad that I am missing out on things I looked forward to … that I couldn’t have done during the past few years for grieving.
At least I am able to see the beauty of Fall with this pain … both physical and emotional pain. I appreciate the wonderful, warm colors that surround me when I go outside. They make me happy. Oh, how I love Fall! I wish to just get out and walk, kick the colorful leaves up into the air!
So … this is my month of October … 2015. I will enjoy Fall with limitations this year. Nevertheless … I still feel that special happiness that comes in my Heart at this time of year. I’m not under the heaviness of a blanket of grief. I can see clearly now … and I’m myself … and everything is going to be alright.
Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …………..
Note by this Author:
I have been making this accident a learning experience. I have opened my eyes up to another world. I knew it existed … I had just never experienced it. Now, I’m walking in … different shoes. Shoes that one just wears … and might not can walk in. I’m fortunate because as time goes by I am healing. I’m so grateful.
Photo/true account of my month of October 2015 are both owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … all photos, written true story are owned by me.