The Month of October … 2015 … My Accident


 

The Month of October … 2015  … My Accident

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

Photo of first brace put on my leg at hospital … Skip was holding the crutches, I was in wheelchair on October 3, 2015.

Photo taken at Rex Hospital October 12, 2015 … still couldn’t go to orthopedic doctor … no insurance info … I had no money to pay up-front.

 

 

 

I felt excitement when October began getting closer!  Fall time!  State Fair!  My most favorite time of the year.  I looked forward to wearing blue jeans, sweat shirts, and boots with heels (not high but … just right).

I was ready to celebrate Fall time with happiness, knowing I would be able to enjoy it this year.  Last year I began to, but … I was still grieving for the loss of my son, my only child … Tommy.

 

October 3, 2015 … wheelchair I rode in … I couldn’t stand on my leg … I was in ER at Novant Hospital.  Skip was holding crutches I was just given.

 

 

 

Tommy died May 29, 2010.  He collapsed at Myrtle Beach running, playing with his own little 3 year old son.  No one knew he had 3 blockages to his heart.

 

October 15, 2015 … this was my first visit with orthopedic doctor … he put a brace on my leg.

 

 

 

I’ve never experienced anything in my life as bad as losing my son.  I almost lost myself … forever.  I didn’t know I would be able to live with such knowledge … my God … knowing my child was dead.

You can’t even imagine … I can’t even describe how awful holding something so horrible as that inside your mind … you can’t get away from it … you can’t get away from yourself.

I don’t know … or even remember the how I came so far.  How I began to cope … live with the knowledge that Tommy wasn’t, can’t come back.  Even now … I will feel a ‘panicky’ sensation if I let myself dwell on it.  It’s scary … it’s like standing on the brink of a cliff … I don’t want to fall!

 

My son, Tommy … holding his newborn son born on March 16, 2007 … my only grandson.

 

 

 

I wrote, I cried … I coped with his death living in darkness to protect my mind.  Does that even make sense?  In darkness in one’s mind … you don’t think anymore than you have to.  Somehow enough time and many emotional storms have brought me to … today.  I won’t elaborate more on it … I don’t want to take the chance of … falling off the cliff.

 

October 12, 2015 … when I went to Rex ER.  I was in such pain … and hadn’t been able to see an orthopedic doctor.  It was 12 days before I had first visit with orthopaedic doctor on October 15, 2015.

 

 

 

Anyway, I was really looking forward to Fall this year knowing this year I would be able to enjoy, look forward to the holidays and … be alright.

October 3rd … I slipped on a slippery tile floor in the restaurant Skip and I loved to go to.  The floor ‘sweats’ because of all the steamy buffet bars.  There weren’t any rugs, carpet on the floor.

I wasn’t thinking of that when we went inside.  I was looking forward to enjoying good food.  The manager led us toward a table when … my feet went out from under me.  I didn’t even see that fall coming.  I heard my left knee cap break … the pain was so great.

 

 

 

 

These are the shoes I was wearing the day of the accident.  You can see that the soles are non-skid.  Ironically … they are the only shoes I can wear since the accident … they are safest to walk in, and when wet … they don’t slide.

 

 

 

I just found out that I also, have a spiral fracture in my fibula (the long slender bone between your knee cap and ankle … you have two bones, one big and then, the slender bone … fibula and tibia).  I can’t describe what it’s been like since I took that fall.  The orthopedic doctor said it was missed in the first x-rays.  He said no wonder my leg hurts so bad.

I have lost freedom to do the things I like to do … I have such pain doing what I need to do.  I have to go to my different doctor appointments on my own as Skip isn’t available to take me.  I can’t tell you how I’ve suffered … and it’s not over yet.

I couldn’t go to the State Fair, or to the Fall Festivals I really wanted to go to this Fall.  I’ve experienced riding the electric shopping carts where one sits in to shop.  I use crutches, and a brace … it’s taking its toll on my right leg.  So many changes in my life.

 

Me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I write about my life … and this is another ‘color’ of it.

 

 

 

Going to bed is hard … I have a hard time getting up on our bed.  Once in bed the pain is excruciating each time I have to move, to turn over, get up.

I have a time going out the door, trying to go down steps.  I have to get my nerve up to go down them … I don’t dare want to fall again.  It’s just as hard trying to come up the steps.

To drive myself is quite an experience.  I have to keep maneuvering my body to get my leg inside … our vehicles are high up from the ground.  Oh my … the ungodly pain.  I manage because … I don’t give up … I have one hell of a fighting spirit.  I mean to get my freedom back to move around.  All my life … I’ve lived with pain … emotional and physical.  Pain is … has been a part of my life.  It doesn’t mean it hurts any less … it just means I’m going to do what I have to do … regardless.

 

Me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … no matter how bad something is … it will somehow … be alright again.

 

 

 

Sitting down … getting back up … the pain is excruciating.  I admit I have shed many more tears from hurting … I still moan, groan when standing up.  I try to do it quietly … sometimes, it isn’t possible.

It’ll be some time before it all gets better.  I have a positive attitude, I don’t complain.  When you read my words you can see that I try to explain how it really is … but, you won’t see me complain.

 

 

I love Fall colors, and these are a few of mine.  I haven’t had a chance to take photos of the beautiful leaves.

 

 

 

I am sad though … this is my favorite time of the year … and I’m sad that I am missing out on things I looked forward to … that I couldn’t have done during the past few years for grieving.

At least I am able to see the beauty of Fall with this pain … both physical and emotional pain.  I appreciate the wonderful, warm colors that surround me when I go outside.  They make me happy.  Oh, how I love Fall!  I wish to just get out and walk, kick the colorful leaves up into the air!

So … this is my month of October … 2015.  I will enjoy Fall with limitations this year.  Nevertheless … I still feel that special happiness that comes in my Heart at this time of year.  I’m not under the heaviness of a blanket of grief.  I can see clearly now … and I’m myself … and everything is going to be alright.

 

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …………..

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

I have been making this accident a learning experience.  I have opened my eyes up to another world.  I knew it existed … I had just never experienced it.  Now, I’m walking in … different shoes.  Shoes that one just wears … and might not can walk in.  I’m fortunate because as time goes by I am healing.  I’m so grateful.

Photo/true account of my month of October 2015 are both owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … all photos, written true story are owned by me.

Advertisements

One thought on “The Month of October … 2015 … My Accident

  1. I’m so sorry you’re hurting hun and I can’t do anything to help!!! 😦

    Hope you get the insurance money soon – this really Sucks!!! 😦

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s