I can’t let you continue to sit here on my Facebook couch in my Facebook living room while you munch your Facebook chips … you hurt me being here, never speaking. I wonder ‘who do you think you are?’ I’ve let you sit here for several years … it stops today. Go on about your own life, business …
Today … I’m doing the same … I’m letting go of people whom I can’t bear to have here anymore … I ‘let go’ in a good way. I’ll never stop loving, caring … but, I won’t allow you back in my life … not this Life.
Last night … sadly … I took off another ‘family member’ here on my Facebook. I’m not going to be … belittled … or have my jewelry pointed out to make me look bad … because someone wants to hurt me.
She isn’t the first one to be like this … what she doesn’t realize … it’s all I’ve got … she has every thing in life … why would she be jealous of jewelry from … days gone by.
She never knew me all these years … I would never-ever be close to her … then, I made the mistake in my ‘old age’ … no more.
You can’t hope to have people love you when all those years have gone by. So, people who I only feel grief … pain … from …. today, I’m letting you go.
This doesn’t mean you aren’t a good person in your life … I know you must be. In my life … you aren’t healthy for me … I have to … let you go. I can’t go on with unhappy feelings built up in me … so, you are gone after today … know I love, respect you … but, you have to get out of my life … return to your own.
We may be related … but, we aren’t good … healthy for the other. We were taught too much hate, anger, ugliness as children … I’ve lived my life without this all these years until after Tommy died … then, you all appeared.
I’m sure you meant well … they always do … but, that natural hate, distrust, ugliness rears its head. I am cutting the head off today. Don’t bother me anymore … I have enough grief … pain in my Heart. I won’t let you add anymore by snubbing me on my Facebook page when it was an honor for me to let you be here.
I know you are trying to keep up with me … maybe I’ll get famous writing? Hear this … I won’t ever get famous writing … I am a mediocre writer … I love to write, can’t stop writing … don’t think I’ll get famous from it. It won’t happen.
So now … I’ve told you … you can go happily your way and be happy your cousin, sister, whatever isn’t going to do anything with her writing. Oh… that goes for some ‘friends’ on Facebook also, that make me feel bad for me allowing you to come here as a friend … and you just …. sit there. You don’t know me … it was a lot of thought … and caring to make me let you be here … in my Life. It is with a lot of love, caring that today … I let you go. I wish you well, only good things in life.
Only my friends, and less than the fingers on my hand in Family, remain here… today … They never hurt me… I feel good with them here even if they don’t speak. I sense no anger, hatred, jealousy of me … one more thing while I’m at it … I’m broke, I have nothing … life is very hard for Skip and I financially … the worse ever … so, I’m nobody … I’m not rich, famous … I’m only what you see, read … I’m Gloria … I’m all I’ve got excepting my whole world … Skip and the Pups. See, now …. ‘friends’ and ‘family’ alike … you can go your way … now.
I can’t gain you anything … I can’t add anything to your life only … words, love. You can’t hold them in your hands … you feel, read. I give them freely … so know, you are wasting your time on being friends with me if … you expect more than that.
Yes, my jewelry is expensive, beautiful jewelry … they are from a day when it could be afforded … each piece was given to me when I survived something in my life … or accomplished something really … big … for me.
When I die, I leave Skip the option to do whatever he wants to do with them. If I live longer, I will leave them to whomever is in my Life that I … truly love. Hopefully, to my granddaughter, grandson. So, there’s nothing to be gained here. I’m just … nothing … but when saying that … I really am … something. You just don’t have to agree … no one does … I know what I am … it took all these years to … know myself.
No matter I’m not perfect … I’ve been on wrong roads in life …. made mistakes … as soon as I learned the hard way … I became a better person. Unlike a lot of people who kept going down those ‘bad’ paths … I chose not to.
It’s a wonder with the way I was raised … it’s a wonder I wasn’t one … big, badass … ruthless, mean ugly… as a young person I was full of hate, anger. I was on the road to be just that. Love was in me … goodness was in me … it was bigger than bad … that’s what happened to me.
Another thing … some of my family think they can hurt me by ‘telling everyone’ my mistakes … it doesn’t matter. All I will do is write now … what I don’t write about … instead of waiting ‘one day’.
I will never let my family … blackmail me … never. I will hold my ground any day even if it means losing every ‘friend’ I have … I won’t let anyone cower me through blackmail like I’ve watched through the years … watched the anguish …. crying because one’s sister, cousin … was going to ‘tell everything on them’ if they didn’t do this or that. Hell no … no blackmail here … I’m strong enough to bear it. I didn’t weather all these awful storms in my life … for nothing. I will say this … look in your own backyard, first.
Getting back to my jewelry … One of my diamond rings … Skip gave to me when I made it … survived cancer, lived. I lived … to have that special ring. It was what he could afford in 2000 when he was fleet manager in a company in Raleigh. He got that beautiful ring for me.
I had a family member watch yesterday here at all the Happy Birthdays I got … then the photos I used to ‘speak back’ to you all … one is in my profile photo.
She made a remark about …. ‘your sapphire is a killer’ … that was to point out to everyone that I had expensive rings.
The big ring with the purple stone is my birthstone ring with diamonds … amethyst … Skip bought that for me … when I accomplished going to truck driving school to drive with him … after working in an office. I did something!smile emoticon I earned that ring …
I made it through truck-driving school … then went on to drive 3 years out west to California, and Washington State, Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, Montana … I could keep naming them … all those real mountains! I did something … for a woman. I was proud. I earned it. It’s an amethyst with diamonds … not a ‘killer’ sapphire ring.
Anyway … I am taking all … ‘family’ off my Facebook, group … excepting several people I love, care about that are related to me … they are like me in that they are private people … they ‘know our family’ … you can’t get close to anyone.
Jealousy, natural hate will rear its ugly head every time … and if you don’t do what they want … it’s blackmail time. I will say this … in all my writing I’ve let all my friends … readers know that I’m not perfect, never have been … never will be … Granny Gee is the name my son gave me for a beautiful little boy to grow up knowing his grandma by … I use it in my writing to keep the name alive.
Goodbye to all of you that … I ‘let go’ of today. I do it with love, not anger. I do it so, I can be mentally healthier … so can you. It’s not healthy for your mind if you dwell on me, hate me … not like me.
I’m nobody to you even being related. Just remember when I allowed you on my Facebook that as each individual person … I felt … hoped … prayed there would be some kind of real connection.
Sadly, it wasn’t … some of you have sat here on my Facebook couch in my Facebook living room … while you munched your Facebook potato chips watching me, judging me … never speaking one word.
I speak one word to you …. ‘Goodbye’.
The photo used here is the one with the ‘sapphire killer ring’. It’s simply my birthstone ring I earned when going to truck driving school. Am I supposed to quit wearing my treasured, meaningful jewelry from my husband through the years … because we are experiencing … hard times?
Well, I won’t stop … through time I’ve sold all my jewelry … these are the pieces I have left. I keep them because each one holds the deepest of meaning.