Tommy’s Chest … holds the few things I have left of my only child, Tommy.
I know subconsciously I block things from my mind that hurt me deeply … sometimes, I don’t realize I have until at a later time. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I have been thinking of something that I haven’t thought about in a long time. I realize that before I can accomplish it … I have a ‘ton’ of stuff to move before I can get to it.
I’ll explain. In my art room … over the past months I have been letting ‘everything’ go in there … to move it from other parts of the house. I don’t know why … I let it all ‘pile up‘. I treasure having my space to create, draw, paint. So why did I do it?
The thought came to me this evening … it could be the reason ‘why’. I have been thinking I want to get Tommy’s Chest … open it, take his things out that I have left of him. I can’t get to it … I have blocked it by putting a ‘million’ things between it and … me getting to it. Do you think subconsciously I did it deliberately?
In order to look in his chest … I have my job cut out. I have to move everything in the path to it. Do you know … I will be so glad to have my art room organized once again. I wish I had never let it ‘pile up’ … I don’t do the other rooms like that.
Do you think I deliberately blocked my path to opening Tommy’s Chest? When I do get the chest … I don’t know if I can open it … so much pain … grief. My son died 6 years ago.
Why would I want to open it? Because … because I want to hold the few things I have left of my son. I have a green box in there that holds something so painful … I want to see. I can’t talk about the green box. Hurts too bad. I might have to set it aside, not open it.
I’m not even certain I can open the lid to the chest … to not weigh a lot … it has been too heavy for me to just take my hands … simply open it.
Time will tell … if I open it I will share with you about it. I know I’ve mentioned several times in the past that I would open it … looking back now …. I see that’s when ‘things’ begin to ‘pile up’ between me … and the path to walk to Tommy’s Chest. Strange … I never thought about it until this evening.
I think I must have done it … on purpose.
Note by this Author:
Today … 6 years ago … my only child died. Tommy … my son, died at 40 years old, never knowing he had 3 blockages to his heart.
Tommy’s Chest … is a burgundy/gold, upholstered chest. It holds the very few things I have left of my son. I want this chest to go to his son, Taban, when I’m gone.
Story/photo owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@Gee Granny on Twitter.