I Waved … They Turned Their Head
Written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee. Photos are also … property of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Have you ever had a flashback to something that happened years ago? I did this morning at something that was most unfair to Skip and I. Why I thought of it … I don’t know because … I never dwell on anything from the past. This was so unfair … but, sometimes life isn’t … fair at times.
Dwelling on the past isn’t healthy … it would be like … regurgitating your already eaten food up … rechewing it again … swallowing it. Who wants to do that?
Yes, I know when we are young we have to learn not … to live in the past. Once we get past that point … we have made some kind of peace inside and look forward … to living in the present.
I know very well the things that I came through in my own life … I had quite a time of learning to cope with ‘bad’ things that happened to me since being very little. So … it’s easier said than … doing it. Doing it means working at it even sometimes for … years.
The only thing from the past that bothers me are the deaths of all my family members … the worst being my only child … Tommy.
I don’t dwell on any of it … I just cope with the grief when it strikes like lightning …unexpectedly.
Then … I become a storm of tears and darkness until … I climb out of it like being in a dark cave … looking for the light to show me the way out.
Getting back to my flashback. Skip and I’ve always been people who care about others … when we used to have a lot we always shared … we always gave things to others we didn’t need, use … things that were well-taken care of and still looked new. We bought things … not the cheapest … to give. We never gave … trash.
We also, gave money to others unexpectedly … when we felt someone needed a little extra help … they never had to ask us. We would find a way of doing it so the person (s) would never know we were trying to make a way to do so without embarrassing them.
I wish those days were still here … we love to give … now, we are on a limited income. But … we still give, share. 🙂
We have always loved people … animals. You wouldn’t believe the things we have done for others through time … and I won’t go into it … why would I when we believe when one gives … you go on to let go once you do. When we use to travel … we made a difference in strangers’ lives.
Getting back to my flashback this morning … I don’t know ‘why?’ the vision came to my mind of seeing people we’d given a beautiful 52″ color tv to. The tv had never sat on the floor … it had wheels. We took care of it. We had updated to a flat-screen tv.
These people had seen our big-screen tv and wished for one like it. Being us … Skip and I always said when we got another tv … we would give it to those people … but … we wouldn’t tell them … we would just do it when the time came.
Time went on … and they got into a dispute with some of their relatives … they tried to get us to take sides. We wouldn’t … we cared about everyone. Time went on … we got our flat-screen tv … called them up … we were excited to see their faces when we gave them something they wished for so much.
Oh my … they were pure-thrilled to get that big-screen tv. They kept remarking on how new it looked … how beautiful the picture was … how it’d never sat on the floor … they were so happy. You would have thought they’d won a million dollars.
I can’t tell you how happy we were to … make them happy. That’s the whole thing … the biggest reward … that wonderful feeling of making a good difference in someone’s life.
Unless you are a giver … you won’t ever understand. If you are a giver … oh my … you know how wonderful it feels to bring a big old smile to someone’s face … eyes. How wonderful to see their faces … hear their excited voices … and know you helped to put it there. They talked about that big-screen tv for days.
Time went on … and their feud with their family grew bigger … these people tried to get Skip and me to take sides. Of course … we didn’t … we don’t like to be drawn into other people’s business nor their fights.
More time went by … these people began to act cool toward Skip and me … we lived beside them at that time. Oh … how it devastated Skip and I. It was like our hands were tied … no matter when they called us … they couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t choose ‘their side’. They couldn’t understand we weren’t like that … we loved everyone.
The day came … they packed up to move away. My flashback vision this morning was standing on the porch to wave at them.
They were putting the big-screen tv on the back of their pickup … looked up at me … I waved to them from the porch. They turned their heads … backs to me … no one ever waved back to me.
I have to be truthful here … though I don’t look back in the past often … this particular moment flashes back to me. The sun was shining … it was a beautiful day … when they didn’t wave back to me … I felt such pain in my Heart. I loved them … simple as that.
Waving to them … they saw me … turning their backs on me. No one ever waved back to me. I just hung my head … walked back into the house. I felt very sad.
The only time we ever heard from them was a phone call months later … wanting us to go to court to be on their side. Just like always … I told them we cared about all of them and we couldn’t do that. The whole feud was ‘silly’ … but, in their minds, it was a big thing. They ‘don’t see us’ when we meet once in a while in a store.
Have you ever waved to someone … they look straight at you … turn their backs to you? Did it hurt?
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Note by this Author:
This really happened … it did hurt both Skip and I. I know … I know … we can’t expect everyone to feel like we do. We cared about those people … this was at a time when we believed friendship would … last forever.
This was one of those times that taught us a life’s lesson … friendship doesn’t last forever with some people. Some people get what they want from you … after that … you don’t exist anymore.
We were and are … very private people … we never visited them. The man would call Skip sometimes. So … we never bothered them nor got into their life. They tried to get into our life … in gentle, firm ways … we wouldn’t allow that.
It’s okay now … it’s been years since this happened. I think of several things I was taught as a child (it is a wonder I was taught anything and just grew up to be a pure … wild-ass hellion!).
I was taught that familiarity breeds contempt. It’s very true … you don’t get so close that you tell everyone everything about yourself.
You don’t allow them into your home, personal life … you keep at least some of that from anyone. If you notice … when something happens another person will hurt, destroy your life if they can. Your private life goes to hell.
This is solely what I learned through time … and how I live. I don’t allow anyone to get close enough to me to know my most private life, thoughts, feelings.
I’m a loyal, true friend, good person … I mind my business and stay out of others’ lives. I’m best at being a ‘long-distance’ friend … one that won’t ever get into someone else’s life. Why? I RESPECT … CARE … that’s why.
I’m fortunate to grow up somehow to be a good person. I met a lot of good people through time … I guess somehow they became a part of me by the things I learned from them.
I shudder to think of ‘the things’ I could have done if I hadn’t been a good person inside … to begin with. I would be like some of the family I knew … ruthless, angry ready to destroy other lives … just plain damn mean … envious, hating … the fires of Hell burning inside … things I won’t even mention to anyone.
Truthfully … the flames of Hell burn in me … they were instilled in me as a little girl as each ‘bad’ thing happened to me that no child should have happen. I was a raging Hell-fire all through time until about age 28 (when Skip and I married).
I grew up to hate … be mean, spiteful, to destroy others … I was a most angry person with an awful chip on my shoulder … as a young woman, something in me was always trying to go forward to be as good as I could be as a person. I had a battle going on inside.
I found that when I did mean things toward others … I was the one who felt the pain! Is that amazing? I learned when I did good things to others … I felt so, so good inside.
My life growing up shaped me into that hateful, hating, angry person who hid everything with a sunshine smile. Thankfully … as a young woman … my smile became who I really was inside … a loving, caring, good person.
I have to say though … people have mistaken me being a good, caring … loving person through time meant I was … easy. They shouldn’t have done that because … the fires of Hell still burn in me and I never forgot how to get down and dirty to fight a battle. I grew up to be a fighter … a warrior. Of course, I don’t fight physically but … if need be …
I’m not proud of that … I’m proud I have learned to not be like that but, I do have a backbone of … steel. I don’t like to be pushed that far … but … it’s amazing to see someone’s face when they realized they underestimated me … and think they can get over on me.
It makes me sad when someone ever so often thinks because I care, smile … good to them … to think I’m … weak. I know what comes next … they begin to think they will take advantage of me. I have watched it play out until the number 3 … then … like my Grandma Alma taught me … I ‘nip it in the bud’.
Then … it hurts me just as much as having to hurt someone to show them I won’t be taken advantage of. I’m sure all of you have encountered such times in your own lives. Some people let others run over them … I’m not a doormat … I stop it.
This person may be a good person but … I never forget someone who hurts me … I forgive, never forget. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.