Thank you, Tracey James … Mary James … you ‘brought Tommy to me’ … and went out of your way on your vacations to do so. You are forever in my Heart. I love you both. Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I’m grateful my son, Tommy … died a beautiful death so when I think of him … I can see beauty in my mind. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
May 29, 2010, on a Saturday evening … Tommy and his family arrived at their destination. They were excited … they were spending a week at Myrtle Beach.
Sands Beach Club Hotel … 9400 Shore Drive … Myrtle Beach, SC. They were putting their luggage on the luggage rack to roll onto the elevator to go to their room. Tommy was helping when … a lot of luggage fell off. His wife got upset … she never knew when Tommy took Taban’s hand (his little 3-year-old son) … disappeared.
Looking back it’s a good thing all happened as it did … Tommy didn’t have long in his life to go fulfill his wish to play at the beach for the first time with his little son.
Looking back … he barely made it to the beach in time. A big guy and a little guy ran, squealed, played on the beach … waves washed ashore … seagulls sang … puffy white clouds floated overhead in the blue-blue sky. It was a lovely evening … made more beautiful with the love a father shared with his son.
Matching smiles of sunshine lit up the beach that evening … I felt the glow … 200 miles away. This mother was smiling as she looked at the few photos and a video Tommy sent. It stopped … I knew they were playing. I smiled to myself as I sat at my computer.
You see … the night before Tommy expressed how excited he was to go to the beach to play for the first time ever … with his little son. He wasn’t going on vacation at first with the family … Tommy was coping with a tragedy that happened one year prior … everyone was trying to help him … get back to living life.
For some reason I never knew … Tommy changed his mind to go … Thank God. He would have been home alone … when he died.
It’s very sad my son died … Thank God … he died a beautiful death … one his son can grow up remembering. One … his mother can associate with blue skies, puffy clouds, seagulls, the sound of the ocean waves, soft beach sand, seashells.
Today, May 29, 2017 … Tommy died 7 years ago … and it seems like yesterday. I haven’t forgotten him … he could walk into this door right this moment … it would be just like he never left. I smile thinking about that. He may be standing next to me and I not know it.
The only thing changed is that I’ve come to peace with losing my son … I had no choice if I wanted to live. Yes, I’ll cry … become sad time to time … that’s only normal when a mother grieves for her child. Grief is love … love is grief … the saddest love of all.
No one wants to be a grieving parent … it is a ‘whole other ballgame’. On this day I can sit here … I smile thinking about my son. Tears come to my eyes … sadness in my Heart. Everything is alright … I am alright … today is a beautiful day.
I’m sitting here … remembering Tommy, my only child … my son … the beautiful part of me that is gone. The beautiful part of me I lost … forever in my Heart to be found. That’s where Tommy is today … when tears flow down my cheeks and sadness squeezes my Heart … I know when I’ve found him.
Life is like this … we lose our children. We shouldn’t but, more mothers lose a child today. The good thing about my child is I have beautiful images in my mind … he died in a beautiful place doing a beautiful thing with his own beautiful child.
Tommy died a beautiful death … no matter how sad, painful. For that I am grateful. I love you all the way to Heaven, Tommy. Your Ole Mom loves you.
Thank you, Tracey James … Mary James … you ‘brought Tommy to me’ … you wrote in the beach sand a message from me to Tommy that’s in the photo above … and you left a Tommy Dragonfly I made … by that message. I love you with my Heart.