What You Need To Know about Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

From time to time I have to remind others ‘why?’ I write. I don’t write to gain pity … I write to live. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Think of me as the strongest, biggest Redwood tree in the forest.  I’m still standing after all Life’s storms.  Pray that I have beautiful, calm weather until the end of my days.  I would love to know that for the rest of my life.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee.

Artwork by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  … I’m still standing.

 

 

This is the link to this story I wrote today … 2-29-2016 … I want to tell my new readers, friends, followers ‘why?’ I write ……. I want to remind everyone who knows me why I write grief, pain … I write as I promised about grief, pain when it happens, how it feels.  

 

 

http://new.mylot.com/post/2898107/this-may-be-the-last-time-i-tell-what-happened-to-tommy

 

 

Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.  Think of me as … envision the biggest, strongest Redwood tree … I’ve weathered many of Life’s storms … twigs, limbs are missing … but … I’m still standing.  I hope now … at this point in my Life … that the weather be wonderful … calm … until the end of my days.  I’ve had enough grief, pain for several lifetimes.

 

 

I have been writing since November 2010 …( I’d been writing all my life … but, I began my blog: ) … just a few months after my son … Tommy … died. When I began my blog I made the promise to all my readers/followers/friends I would describe pure grief, pain of a grieving mother.

 

I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy … I never thought of anyone as I wrote my pain. The truth is … writing my grief, pain … saved my life. While I was in darkness, the keys under my fingertips gave me comfort as well … as an outlet for my grief.

 

 

My grief, pain flowed like the biggest river in the world … rocks hurt like h___ … I still flowed on to … wherever. In fact, before someone says something to add more pain, grief … say empty, useless words … I asked people to just come into my blog to read quietly, leave just as quietly, go their way.

 

 

My beautiful Son … big as life … in a truck stop on his way to somewhere … taking a selfie.  I miss you, Tommy.  Your Mama miss you with her very Heart.

 

They could see how it all felt, never having to experience in their life … grief, pain of a grieving mother. I promised my readers that I would write grief when it happened … as it happened … and I would tell the raw truth about grief.

 

 

No pity … no feeling sorry … read like you are reading something else … if you learn something from my grief, thank God. I pray no one ever goes through losing a child … only child like I did.

 

 

This logo was made just for me by Donnalyn, several years ago.

 

 

I didn’t need all those comments that you are going to always hear people say … such as … ‘oh, he’s in a better place now … he’s sitting down at the Lord’s table eating … you don’t have to worry about him anymore … oh, you’ll get over your grief in no time, like in the next few weeks … the worst one I heard, that fills me with pure, white anger is … oh, I understand, I know how you feel.’ I understand, I know how you feel … can you imagine someone telling you that when they’ve never experienced grief?

 

 

Needless to say … I didn’t say a word to those people … I never forgot them … I forgave them for their careless words. Can you imagine modeling your life after someone who has never experienced what they are ‘selling’? Can you? Can you imagine listening to a pastor preach empty words when he has never experienced being saved, the true feeling of love, compassion, caring for his congregation?

 

 

My son, Tommy … holding his newborn son … Tommy had one son, and one daughter.

 

 

Can you imagine telling a grieving mother that you understand how it feels, her grief should be over in oh, probably … 2 weeks? Can you imagine being told that by someone who has never lost a child? Can you imagine someone who has never experienced the pain, grief in their life … try to tell you how it feels? How you should handle it?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I want to share with my new friends … and new readers/followers on my blog … what happened to Tommy one year almost to the day he died … what he suffered … what his mother suffered, what I was grieving for …. before he died. I was already grieving for Tommy one year before … he died. Tommy ‘died’ … one year before he …. died.

 

 

Every writer knows that in order to write … be real, sincere … they have to write what they know best in life. You can’t fool your readers .. they know when you are being an imposter.

 

 

I write what I know best in my life since being a child … all the way until today … I’ve known grief, pain … awful things throughout my life. I know grief, pain … best. Just remember this when you read ‘me’ … I don’t write to gain your sympathy, pity … I don’t need it. I truly don’t need anyone’s pity.

 

 

Tommy is holding his newborn son …

 

 

I have grown very strong throughout time … think of me like you would a … redwood tree. I’ve withstood many, many terrible storms. I’m weathered, beaten … missing a twig or two … but, I’m still standing. I’m still weathering storms … I do pray for sunshine, calm weather … I would like to rest from battling the storms in my life.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I would like to tell you this … to remember also, about me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I’m the most positive, happiest person you’ll ever meet who is a grieving mother … a person who has battled cancer … congestive heart failure, motorcycle wreck … lost over 19 family members (not just any family members but, the ones I truly loved with my very Heart) … whose husband has battled cancer, almost dying again twice with strokes, heart problems … blood infection in his body from a tiny cut from old wire … lost all in a housefire … the ultimate loss … losing the only child whom I loved the ground he walked on. These are only … a few things ‘BAD’ that’s happened in my life.

 

 

My published book of grief, pain … writing this book saved my life … if you asked me what is in it … I can’t tell you … I can’t remember … I can’t open the book to read it.  Over a thousand pages of pure grief … pure pain.  You are looking at my life raft … writing this book is why I’m here today.  Writing this book makes sure my son, Tommy, is remembered forever.  It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t sell … doesn’t matter at all.  I have my copyright from Library of Congress on this book ( I have 3 copyrights on the 3 books I published).  They don’t sell … that’s okay … I still have my copyrights, and I’m proud to have them … I did it all when I was in the deepest throes of grief.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

 

This is only a fraction of what I’ve battled … so, this is what I write best … pain, grief, sadness. I write it to tell you that no matter how bad … things DO get better … no matter how BAD … they will get good again I can smile now … when I thought I couldn’t ever smile again … I mean how does a mother ever smile again with the knowledge that her child died?

 

 

It does happen … a grieving mother can smile again … but … this grieving mother had to make a choice … either stay in the darkness and not cope with the loss … or … meet it head-on … no matter how bad it hurts … battle it like you would battle with a bear … I did … I was going to either live … or die.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I’m smiling … I am here five years after my son’s death … yes, I still go through bouts of grief … oh my, I really do. Those times are farther apart … and I recover from them quickly now. Does it … lessen the pain, grief … when it comes again … no.

 

 

To write my story … on my blog for maybe the last time about what happened … I had to transport me back deeply into the darkness where I knew my grief, pain was for my son … doing this … something I don’t do anymore … took something out of me … for several days until now … I still feel the pain deeply. I can’t do it anymore … if I do … it may be years down the road.

 

 

For now … in order to understand me, my type of writing … one will have to go read on my blog … this is the link to what happened to Tommy … exactly one year leading up to his death. Link to my Blog: Colors in My Life … /2016/02/this-may-be-last-time-i-tell-anyone.html

 

 

A grieving mother … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

These are only words trying to describe by writing … living pain, grief … they are in no way the same. I couldn’t describe how … it really felt. Know that as you read … there was so much more than what I wrote.

 

 

Unless you are a mother who suffered with her child … then … her child die … you can’t understand at all. The closest you can come to that is … get very quiet … think of one of your children … think of what that child means to you … what you love so dearly about him/her … think of the sounds that child makes when they laugh, talk … everything that makes that one person your child.

 

 

Now … the phone rings … you see your child’s cellphone number pop up on the caller ID … you smile! You answer … you become confused because a stranger is trying to tell you something. What? What did you say?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … a grieving mother who can smile today.

 

 

“Ma’am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand … he’s not breathing.” You have just found out before anyone knows … you are 200 miles away … you learn from a stranger that … your child is dead … he is laying on the soft sand at the ocean where he’d just arrived on vacation to play with his own little boy.

 

 

Your son has just collapsed on the sand … died that fast … 3 blockages to his heart. No one knew he was sick.

 

 

At that very moment … only you and the stranger and his family who cares for the man’s little son to keep him safe … knows your … son is dead.

 

 

The little son is wanting his daddy to get back up … “Let’s run, play … Daddy!”

 

 

I see you can’t bear to think of your child being … dead. I know you can’t … I couldn’t before my own son died. I’m sorry I made you feel pain, grief when imagining losing your child.

 

 

It’s the closest you’ll ever come to understanding a grieving mother … until … I pray you’ll outlive all your children. That’s the way it’s supposed to be … parents should never outlive their children.

 

 

My beautiful Son, my only child … Tommy

Born November 20, 1969

Died May 29, 2010

 

 

 

Children are our world … our family support when we have no one else … children carry on our name, inherit all our possessions and knowledge. Children are truly the … wealth of our world … when we teach them to be the best they can be.

 

 

Children are our everything. Now … I only have Skip, my husband … and our 2 dogs … they are truly the only family I have left in this big, old world … they are my whole world.

 

 

I have no one else … but, you … my online friends, readers and followers. So, my whole world, Skip and our 2 Pups … and you … mean everything to me.

 

 

 Tommy Mitchell Sidden … my only child, my Son.  This is the last photo taken of him driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina … he died that evening … collapsed to the soft, damp sand by the ocean’s waves washing ashore … where he and his little son played just minutes before …  May 29, 2010 … on a Saturday evening.

 

 

 

Just remember whenever you read anything sad, painful that I write … that it’s coming from a most positive person who has traveled many journeys in life … who has felt the pain from many things … who knows how so much feels … who truly knows no matter how bad … everything will be alright.

 

 

Good comes from … bad. Don’t even feel sorry for me … feel how strong the redwood tree looks when you stand below it … it’s still here after many storms have tried to take it down.

 

 

I am short, 5′ 2″ … but, I’m tall in spirit. In soul, I’m larger than life … from all the experiences, journeys I have taken in my life.

 

 

I have no room for pity … I’m not a ‘poor little thing’ … all broken into pieces … I worked very hard … to put ‘me’ back together. Sure … a piece falls off … now and then … I begin scuffling to put it back so … I can be alright again.

 

 

So now … you have an idea who Granny Gee/Gloria is … a strong person who when knocked down … jumps back up, dusts her pants off … holds her ground to meet life head-on … no matter how painful it is. Sometimes, it takes a little time to get up … I always manage.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … in this photo you can see the gold nugget necklace that was around Tommy’s necklace when he died.  He wore it always … it is my class ring melted down into a gold nugget … 11 grams gold.  I gave it to my son … his wife gave it back to me … it meant the world.

 

 

 

Don’t feel pity for me … don’t think when I write my grief … I’m reaching out for someone to feel sorry for me. I don’t need it. Just care … go on … open your eyes wider when you see a grieving person … have compassion, not pity. Just simply … care with your Heart.

 

 

If you say something sincere in your own words (not a bunch of ___ you’ve always heard) … it’ll mean the world to that grieving person. Don’t recite a bunch of nothing just to have something to say … don’t say anything … just hug … care … if you can’t say anything … real.

 

 

Know that I am a for-real good person … I’m most real. I love everyone … see through fakey people … don’t waste time on them. Life’s too short to let others in my life that aren’t sincere.

 

 

I will voice my Gloria Opinions in a moment … I’ll respect yours and you respect mine … I won’t argue anything with anyone. Why? Because I simply don’t have to … it’s not worth the grief, pain it causes.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

One last thing … I’m known for some times, writing long stories. I have to … it’s part of being me. You don’t need to tell me … I already know. I don’t do it all the time … only when … it’s important.

 

 

Photo/story owned … written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Photo is of the only tattoo I most likely will ever have … in memory of my son, Tommy. He loved dragonflies … dragonflies show up in my life at the oddest times.

 

 

My Tommy Dragonfly Tattoo created for me by Jason Wilkins at Revelation Ink & Piercings … his new shop will open in early March 2016 in Raleigh, NC (Wakefield area).  Until then, you will find him at his shop in Louisburg, NC at Dystink’d Tattoo.

 

 

I Don’t Agree With Lotus Birthing … I’ll Tell You Why


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



 

I was watching The Doctors this morning.  I watched about having babies … naturally.  Not only that … leaving the cord/placenta attached to the baby … letting it ‘rot’ off the baby naturally.

The placenta is laid aside with the cord leading to the newborn baby‘s belly … where it begins to decay.  The woman sprinkled flower petals, and such to … keep down the smell.

Why was this done?  To make sure the baby gets all the blood … ‘for a greater transfer of iron- and oxygen-rich blood to the newborn baby’.  The cord can stay attached upwards to three to ten days.

Can you imagine each time changing a baby’s diaper having to move the placenta all around to do it?  Work around it to care for the baby?

It’s called ‘lotus birth‘.  ‘A new trend in natural birthing methods strives to ease a baby’s transition into the world by not detaching the cord and placenta immediately following birth.’

I copied/pasted several things here in quotation marks to share.  The link to all this is:  http://www.treehugger.com/family/lotus-birth-advocates-leave-umbilical-cord-attached-newborn-babies.html

I was listening to the doctors talk about doing this.  They didn’t seem to agree on this way of birthing. Infection, death of  baby could happen … not counting the ‘dead’ placenta laying around.

I listened because they also, discussed something else … that could cause serious life-threatening complications for a mother in labor.  In fact, I thought of myself when I had my only child … I had complications … would have died in childbirth … baby, too.

You can read for yourself to decide what you think.  I know back when I had my baby … it would have spelled doom for me and unborn baby.  No two births are alike.

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Note by this Author:

When I had my child … I carried him for 10 months … my labor was induced on a Monday on November 17th … I suffered until the morning of November 20th at 11:28 am… when they seemed to have a hard time deciding to make me have my child … or take it.

They made me have my baby.  He was a big baby … I had many stitches.  I went through total Hell to have my child … so, did my baby … his head, face had bruises all over from the forceps to pull him.

I don’t think the ‘lotus birthing naturally ‘ … would have been a good thing for mothers in the same situation I … as a young mother … was in.  Death would have been certain.  I couldn’t have had a child … naturally.

This author chose never to have other children because of the God-awful experience of having the one, only child she had.  Not only that … at the time I was in the room in labor I was holding my pain, crying so, I wouldn’t make a noise … when it became impossible to hold back cries … a nurse told me to ‘shut up because I would upset the other women in labor’.

My hands had bite marks on them … I was terrified … no one told me anything about how … to have a baby … I was a young girl.  If I hadn’t had medical help … I’d died in childbirth … so, would have my baby.  Not all childbirths are easy …

Photo/true story … and what I wrote about from watching The Doctors in my words … owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

This Side of the Door …


This Side of the Door …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … Facebook.com/GrannyGee

 

I would be devastated if I knew I was imposing in someone’s life not knowing it.  My way of thinking is I stay in my life … others stay in their life … when we decide to meet in ‘the middle’ … it’s so much fun, joy when it happens.  That’s why I do not … go visiting.

 

I love the unexpected … the honesty of really wanting to do things, be with people I want to be around.  Real smiles, laughter … real connections.

 

Years ago, I remember as a young mom, woman of the house … uninvited guests would come.  I … had to be nice … or else.  I had to do this, I had to do that … and I’d better not say ‘no’.  That angered me when I knew I was being taken advantage of.  It wasn’t fair … knowing me … you would know that’s not going to work.  There’s going to be a train wreck in the future … and I was going to be the one coming out of it.

 

I had to go here, there with people when I didn’t want to go with them.  I had to go do things for others I didn’t want to do.  I had to pretend to be happy when I was upset, angry at what I knew was happening in my life … but, had to pretend I didn’t know.  How in the f___ was I supposed to do that? I had to give my books, my clothes to people who decided they liked them, asked for them.  I had to draw things when I didn’t like to be forced into drawing … for others.  I had to take them places when I didn’t want to …  ‘I had to’…

 

I did it … but, sometimes I would … break bad.  I would say the things I felt, knew … things I as a woman (very young woman) wasn’t suppose to say … because ‘we’ are suppose to pretend we don’t know.  Pretend to not know I was being taken advantage of, playing like I was … dumb, so as not to hurt someone’s feelings.  What about my feelings?

 

My whole f______ world was falling apart … I was supposed to smile, be happy.  You know like those commercials on tv advertising medicines that can kill you, cause heart attacks, cause cancer while you get a damn erection on… the whole time you see a couple smiling, living life happy because they are taking that medicine.  Death is creeping up on their asses …  and they are grinning.

 

Can’t you look back into your childhood, remember ‘those people’ who came visiting unannounced … and everyone began groaning when seeing them pull up, walk up into the yard?

 

Oh no!  It’s Aunt ____!  She’ll stay all damn day long!  She’ll eat up all our supper … then, fill a plateful to take home!

 

Damn her, why in the Hell did she have to come today of all days?  We are having grilled chicken … she’ll eat it all up!  You know how we love our grilled chicken!  She always picks the ‘best’ pieces!

 

Oh no!  It’s Uncle _____. He’ll talk all damn day!  I can’t stand it!  Quick, lock the door so, he won’t come in!  Sh-hhhh!  Be quiet, he won’t know we are here!  Whew!  He’s backing out of the driveway.

 

You get the picture.  I grew up seeing, listening as a young child at how everyone acted on ‘this’ side of the door … the inside of a home (even if it was dysfunctional, it was a … home).  So many ‘unwanted’ people always came to the … other side of the door.  Sometimes, the adults would open the door, put a fake smile on their faces, invite someone … unwanted … in.

 

I would watch as the … unwanted person … would begin smiling, be happy that … everyone … wanted them … to be there!  Damn bastards … dishonest bastards.  As a little girl … it would make me angry. It’s not fair to be that damn … two-faced!  As a woman today … I could see no one wanted to be honest … hurt someone’s feelings.  So … which is worse?

 

My way is to never get on such … close terms … with someone who wants to come visit you, eat your meals with you … oh!  Take a loaded plate home with them when leaving your table!  You do know … that’s why … they came in the first place.  They aren’t all that … innocent.

 

I’m a private person … that way I don’t bother others and I don’t let them bother me.  This way we can all stay honest, not hurt feelings or … pretend to like someone when we really don’t.  Yes, I know there are those times … one does have to pretend to … like.  I … know that game, too.  Oh … I hate to cook so, I don’t have to worry about someone wanting my cooking!

 

Phone is the same way … you are lucky to get me to talk on a phone with you.  Rarely do I take time to do so.  Working on a hospital switchboard for years broke me … I’m just not going to sit and talk on a phone with you.  Text me, email me … I’ll text, email you back all day long.  Very few people do I enjoy on the phone … very few can hold my attention that long.

 

Getting back to that unwanted guest everyone dreaded to see coming … that unwanted guest took note in the past, filed it back in their minds … of those special days you’d be grilling chicken, steak.  As they sat thinking about visiting … they hoped no one would realize they only came when there was good food being served… they blinded their eyes, ears to the things that told them … they weren’t wanted at those special times in someone’s home.

 

The tantalizing thoughts of morsels of white chicken with bbq sauce with jalapeno peppers, eaten with the softest slices of white bread … couldn’t be resisted.  Good-ass iced tea with lemon on top of it!  Never-mind there was homemade ice-cream for dessert.  Pride put in back of mind … happy face put on … pretense of not realizing they weren’t wanted … thoughts of that good food made the decision to go … visiting … a good one.

 

The sad thing is … sometimes the unwanted guest … heard a child say, “here comes old Aunt  ____!” Heard the adult say, “Oh my God, why is she coming now?  It’s like she knows we’re having bbq chicken today!”  Face feeling hot, embarrassed … forgetting quickly as …

 

When the door opened … no traces of wishing old Aunt ______ hadn’t come … the unwanted guest ‘forgot’ …. smiled brightly, entered the home where she wished she lived.  She didn’t have any family … she was very lonely.  For now, she was damned hungry for that good-old bbq chicken!  Your … good-old bbq chicken!  Give me that damn chicken … I’m on your side of the door now!

 

She was going to take the ‘best’ pieces!  Saliva dripping out of her mouth as she anticipated eating bbq chicken … eating the crisp, golden skin off it.  The aroma of more chicken grilling … all she could eat!  She was weak with hunger … desire to feel that chicken in her mouth while she swallowed its juices down her throat.  Rinsing with cold, refreshing iced tea with lemon squeezed, stirred into it. Sunshine on a cloudy day!

 

Today it was homemade banana pudding instead of homemade ice cream!  She loved those vanilla wafers softened in the banana pudding.  She loved banana pudding without the … bananas!

 

So … who is at fault here?  Children know what goes on ‘this side of the door’ … I know I don’t want to be on the other side of the door … be that unwanted guest everyone dreads to see coming.  I don’t want anyone’s good bbq chicken even if I know when they are going to cook it!

 

The good thing here is … I do know how cook/grill my own bbq chicken!  Make that good bbq sauce with jalapeno peppers … take those soft slices of white bread … ‘sop’ them in the sauce and close my eyes … drink my own tea with lemon to wash it all down.

 

Mmmm-mmm, I can see why someone would take note of when those special times are at someone’s house 🙂  I could be tempted though … I wouldn’t … it’s not me.  I would go without before imposing on someone.

 

You all know what goes on … on this … side of the door!  I know you do!  Watch who you let know when you are going to barbecue chicken!  Most people will do anything … to get some!  I’m telling you … even I am … tempted, so don’t tell me either!  🙂  I don’t want to show up on the other side of your door.

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I love barbecue chicken as good as the next person! And … barbecue sauce with jalapeno peppers!  🙂  Give me some of that good, old bbq chicken!

 

 

 

Note from this Author:

 

You all know what I’m talking about … just take a stroll on Memory Lane back to your childhood. People will do anything for some good food … even children, to be truthful.

I did something one time as a little girl I’ve always been ashamed of.  Looking back … I don’t make excuses for being very young … I knew I was doing wrong.  I wouldn’t have let the memory of it make me feel embarrassed today … if I’d done right.

I’m almost too ashamed to tell you about it.  In fact, for now … I won’t.  I just can’t talk about it.  I didn’t hurt anyone but, myself.  The shame of just me knowing … has always been enough.

Anyway … getting off that subject for now.  I may write about it later.  It has to do with the best smelling stew beef and potatoes, onions I’ve ever smelled … or tasted.  I will tell you this … it wasn’t on our side of the door!  Bad, little girl … shame on her.  She should have known better no matter if she was a child … she should know everything.

Gloria Faye Brown … at age 9 … my whole world went to Hell … I went to Hell … I was mean as the Devil … not really … but, trouble seemed to look for this little girl who tried to ‘be a good girl’.  I saw things, heard things I shouldn’t have.

 

 

 

I was an innocent child … but, I wonder if that’s enough of an excuse?  It just seems ‘I would have known better’ … regardless of how I could have.  This is the age where I began to learn I wasn’t as good as other little girls … they could be in the Girl Scouts, have a Barbie Doll, have sleep-overs.  My pretty clothes disappeared as I went to rags, hand-me-down shoes.

I wished for good food … and no one had a lot of money to get what everyone wanted to eat.  When I went to Hell … no longer did I eat as I was growing up to eat.  I only had memories of a pretty table set with silverware, plates, glasses … and of everyone going to sit down to a really nice meal, complete with dessert.  I never knew that again as a child.

True account/photos are written, owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

She Became Silk in the Wind …


She Became Silk in the Wind …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

A younger Granny Gee/Gloria who loved to dance!

 

 

The music played loudly

Seducing the young lass

She stood in the middle of the dance floor

She wouldn’t dance until the moment was right

She felt the music seep through her body

It felt wonderful … she was coming alive!

Cold chills came over her

Felt so good … because she was ready to dance

Dance … become the music … forget the world

She never saw her dance partner again

Once the music filled her … she became the music

She danced to … her body swayed, gyrated

She became silk in the wind

Winding, twisting gracefully

Flowing on the breeze

She was music … no longer human

It was commented that she was so smooth

She held her skirt above her knees

Her beautiful legs danced to the beat

The crowd was mesmerized

As she twirled, spun around the floor

Her dance partner took a seat

To watch, admire her dance

One could feel she was in another world

As the music began to come to a close

She slowly let her eyes focus on her surroundings

She loved this feeling … she was human again

She shook herself as a thrill moved through her body

Took a deep breath … she was ready to dance again

She couldn’t just go sit back down

She stood there … the music began to play

She slipped back into the other world

Danced to her heart’s content

Her dance partner let her dance

He didn’t even try to keep up with her

No way he could become music … move like silk

The time came for the music to end

She had to come back to earth

When she did … it was with a crash

She wanted to stay high on the breeze

Swaying, moving like silk

Never coming back … but, dance forever

She was a human wanting to become music

Dance always, never come to earth again

Sadly … she had to land until another day

To happily dance … become the music

That she loved best in the world

She was music in a human body

All it took was a beat or two

To take her away

To become silk in the wind

Dancing, swaying in another world

Where she was happiest at

She became … silk in the wind

 

 

Note by this Author:

Photos/poem owned … written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I have always loved to dance.  When I was younger, I couldn’t stop dancing.  I became the music … forgot the world.  I wanted to dance forever.  At one time, I could take the dance floor … everyone would clap, cheered me on.  Happiness was dancing the night away 🙂

 

 

I Grabbed That Snake By Its Head …


I Grabbed That Snake By Its Head …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

 

 

I love snakes.  They fascinate me.  Their colors are beautiful.  They amaze me!  I become mesmerized when watching snakes.  Why?  I have no idea.

As a young girl, I would run to pick up a snake when I saw one.  I just wanted to hold, look at them.  I always had respect for snakes.  I never wanted to hurt one.

Once I almost picked up a beautiful copperhead snake.  Someone knocked me to the side when they saw what I was about to do.  I became upset until they told me why they did that.  The snake has such beautiful markings on its skin.

One day, I saw a very long, black … shiny snake.  I ran, grabbed it by the head.  I picked it up and was admiring it.  Before I knew what happened … the snake turned its head somehow … bit me, leaving one of its fangs in my finger!

I went into shock … knowing I’d been bitten.  I was numb … I couldn’t believe it.  I dropped it like a hot cake.

I went to sit down.  I was into such a shock of ‘having finally been bitten’.  I didn’t think the snake was poisonous.  Later I found out it wasn’t.  It was just the pain in my finger, and the shock of being bitten that numbed me.  Not only that … seeing the fang in my finger!  I pulled it out.

That ended my ‘career’ of picking up snakes.  I never had the nerve to do it again.  I learned that lesson quickly!  I still love to watch snakes … I don’t ever have the desire to grab a snake by its head … ever again.

 

 

Note by Author:

Photo/true story owned … written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Didn’t matter if the snake was poisonous or not … just the idea of being ‘bitten by a snake’ … put me into a state of shock.

Just Another Color in my Life … One That I’ll Make a Happy Color in Time


Just Another Color in my Life … One That I’ll Make a Happy Color in Time

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny at Twitter

 

 

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  … Some of my … happy colors.

 

 

 

I am learning how it feels to not get around very well.  I’m not complaining … but, I am paying close attention.  Why?  Because ‘now’ I am seeing how people who are permanently unable to walk … feel.

 

 

I slipped, fell on October 3rd … my kneecap is broken.  I feel I am injured in other places where new pain keeps coming.

 

 

I’ve fought harder battles … so, I can’t complain.  I am lucky to be here, today.  I’ve gotten up from worse … cancer … congestive heart failure … etc.  See what I mean?  I know that in time … somehow all will be alright again.  For ‘now’ … I have to cope with not walking, getting around very well.  I have to cope with so much … extra pain.

 

 

I will say it almost broke me … all the extra pain, losing my freedom to move about when I need to walk somewhere, go to the bathroom, walk outside to get inside the vehicle.

 

 

I can’t just get up … and walk anywhere easily.  I have cried a lot of tears once again because no matter how strong one is … pain can bring you down.  Pain can bring down the strongest person, animal.

 

 

There’s only me when Skip’s gone … to go get what I need in town … it will be very hard to get my leg inside the vehicle.  Excruciating pain.  I will have to walk on crutches to get to the store … like at Walmart. Then … do something I never thought I would have to do … ride the electric shopping scooter in order to go about the store.  They aren’t made to put your leg straight out … more excruciating pain.  Thankfully though … they have the scooters.

 

 

I find myself thinking of how so many people suffer in this world.  I know mine is only a fraction of what they suffer.  The thing is … it takes ‘walking in someone’s shoes‘ … to really know.  For now … I’m doing just that … I have walked in many, many shoes on in my life.

 

 

I am ‘down’ for a while … you can be sure I’ll keep people who are in all kinds of shapes … in mind. Not only that … I am remembering my Grandma Alma, and the Hell she suffered for over 20 years of being paralyzed before she died.  How can I complain when so many people go through worse than I?

 

 

 

‘Now’ … I am feeling how grateful I am for the electric shopping scooters … thankful to have crutches to aid me in walking.  I am glad to know they will be there when I need them.  I have a feeling I will learn to be grateful for many things I’ll encounter on this new journey in my life.

 

 

This is all new to me … I am fortunate I will be able to walk better one day.  I have walked in many ‘somebody’s shoes’ … in my life.  For now … I am walking in new shoes.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

My Heart goes out to everyone who can’t walk … I am only ‘touching the tip of the iceberg’ in … knowing how it feels.  I am learning from this experience … how it feels to have the ability to walk taken away.

 

I’m grateful that I can slowly move about … I’m grateful for the extra pain … it means I’m still here … I’m still living. I don’t feel sorry for myself not one bit.  When I write about this … it’s to share this new experience in my life.  It’s ‘just another color in my life’ … one that I’ll make a happy color in time.

 

Photo/true story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I Wish …


I Wish

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

 

 

I watched the models walk down the walkway.  Each in their glory … beautiful, polished … shining bright as a star.

Colors … textures … colorful materials … designs!  Oh, how I wish I had persued my dream of being a fashion designer as a young girl.  Instead … I chose to be an adult that I wasn’t ready to be.

The canvases of portraits, scenery painted in many colors … line each side of the hallway. I walked by each slowly to take in all the colors, the pure beautiful art someone did by hand.  Oh, how I wished to be the artist I always wanted to be!

Colors, more colors … many wonderful colors … I would be surrounded in all the colors more than the rainbow if I were either an artist … fashion designer.  Oh my … colors mean the world to me!

I watched the mechanic’s hands as he worked on a car.  I watched until I knew exactly what to do.  Oh, how I wished to be a mechanic in addition to all the other wishes of what I wish to be!  I could always help someone if their car broke down … help myself.

I can put things together … through time I have amazed my own self … I can take things apart carefully … put them back together again.  I am mechanically inclined.  I can use a hammer, a wrench.  I can do a lot of things … I did as a young woman … who would have thought a girly-girl dressed in beautiful dresses, high heels could do such?

I remember once being dressed to the max … having a flat tire.  I knew how to change my flat tire.  I knew I would have to take my high heels, stockings off to be able to bend down to do it.  I would have to pull my tight skirt up above my knees.  As I had made my mind up to go into action … a man stopped to help me.  I never let him know I could do it on my own.  I was just a girly-girl.  I appreciated it very much, plus he kept smiling at me.

I watched the doctor, nurses work over patients as they came into the ER.  Each one administering medicines orally, by injection.  I wished to be a doctor … a nurse.  Instead, I worked between the ER and registration office.  I got to hold hands, pat someone to give comfort … to show caring, speak soft, kind, sincere words.  I wanted to help everyone.  That was all I could do … I wasn’t a nurse, a doctor … I wished.

There are many things I wished to be.  I wished to be a lawyer to fight for people.  I would have been Hell to be reckoned with if I believed in someone.

I wished to be a millionaire … I promise you I would have helped thousands of people without them having to know it was me.  I wouldn’t need credit for good things I would want to do.  I would want to create miracles … I would wish to make everyone happy in the world.  I could be happiest knowing I did good.

I wish.

 

 

 

 

Note by Author:

I truly wished to be many things … I could never focus on one thing.  I reflect on my life … and see the many opportunities I never took advantage of.  I regret that.  I have a lot of regrets.  I wish …

True thoughts, wishes and photo owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

 

Give Me Colors … Happy Colors!


Give Me Colors … Happy Colors!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … a few wonderful, happy colors in my life!

 

 

Sometimes … when someone ask me, “Gloria, what is your favorite color?” … it throws me into a big silence.  Why?

Well, I can’t be just one color in life.  I love most all colors … I think in colors … colors affect my moods, feelings.  Music does the same.  I bet you are the same way if you think about it.

I love soft, pastel colors that have a shimmery appearance … like magic!  Romance, soft happy thoughts, wishes come true!

I love bold, beautiful, bright colors … when life is such fun, lots of laughter, loud and happy times such as … the State Fair!

White … I love white.  White is clean, sparkly … wonderful.  Crispness, sunshine … warm breezes blowing … ocean, waves.

Purple and green … strange enough, these two colors in my life at the same time … bring good luck to me.  Happy things.  Why in the world isn’t all I have … purple and green!

Black and white … remind me of my beautiful mother.  She could wear black and white … put on her bright, red lipstick … no one was as pretty as her.  She and Elizabeth Taylor could have been twin sisters.  I love black, white tiles … clean, fresh, nostalgic.

I love all the shades of each color, all the colors between.  I can’t tell you one color I love best.

I love dusty rose, soft pink, periwinkle blue.  I love colors I don’t know the names of.  If you ask me what is my favorite color … I will say this one!  that one!  no, that one!

Note by this Author:

 

Colors are important to me.  When Skip and I used to drive through the deserts for hundreds of miles … I would become upset.  (We traveled by tractor trailer to California every other week). I remember after weeks of doing so … I began crying … “I can’t take anymore of this brown, I just can’t take it, I need color in my life”!

I was color-deprived and it had a very real effect on me.  Like when we were traveling for days in snow … nothing but white … it had a negative effect on me, also.

Give me colors … happy colors!

I Have to Look Back … to Go Forward


I Have to Look Back … to Go Forward

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

I look back in the past for things to write about.  As I take memories out one by one … I look at them as long as I can bear to.  I let it go again when I know it’s time to.

You can know I don’t dwell on any one memory while doing that.  I don’t let any memory hurt me … only for the time I write so, you can feel, see how real it was.  I let you feel some of that pain … if you feel anything in your Heart … tears in your eyes … you are only experiencing a fraction of what I suffered.

What makes me so special to be the one … to write about my past, pain, grief?  Well  … I write.  I am the only one who knows best the things I write.   I know there are people like me … people who have suffered.

An author writes what he knows best … when one reads they know when author is writing … real.  The reader knows when the author knows … what he/she are talking about.  All comes through as the words seep into one’s mind.

It helps to be an expert on something … to be an expert one has to know exactly what they are talking about.  The only thing I am an expert about … is … me.  I can tell you a million things about me … this is what I know best.  I can write my life.

I look back in my young life, see all the other children who were there with me … I can see their little faces in my mind.  I know their suffering, fears … but, I can’t write what they felt, saw … smelled, tasted.  Only that child who is an adult now … can do that … only they can write in their words what they experienced.

I can write about where, what, how another child played a part in my life.  I can tell you what I saw … how it affected me.  When I write these things … I go to a place in my mind … I write the story not to hurt others … but, to tell how things affected me.  As an author I tell my story … to tell my life I have to look back to … go forward.

 

 

Note by this author:

Thank you, Prenin … for inspiring this.  You made me think about ‘why’ … I bring up the past … now you know, I know!  🙂  What in the world would I write about if I didn’t have … me.  I’m not an expert on anything else.  As long as I live … I have something to write about.  Every day is never the same … I’ll never be able to write all my life stories … the colors of my life are endless.  I haven’t even begun to write yet.

 

Photos of me/story written … owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny