What You Need To Know about Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

From time to time I have to remind others ‘why?’ I write. I don’t write to gain pity … I write to live. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Think of me as the strongest, biggest Redwood tree in the forest.  I’m still standing after all Life’s storms.  Pray that I have beautiful, calm weather until the end of my days.  I would love to know that for the rest of my life.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee.

Artwork by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  … I’m still standing.

 

 

This is the link to this story I wrote today … 2-29-2016 … I want to tell my new readers, friends, followers ‘why?’ I write ……. I want to remind everyone who knows me why I write grief, pain … I write as I promised about grief, pain when it happens, how it feels.  

 

 

http://new.mylot.com/post/2898107/this-may-be-the-last-time-i-tell-what-happened-to-tommy

 

 

Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.  Think of me as … envision the biggest, strongest Redwood tree … I’ve weathered many of Life’s storms … twigs, limbs are missing … but … I’m still standing.  I hope now … at this point in my Life … that the weather be wonderful … calm … until the end of my days.  I’ve had enough grief, pain for several lifetimes.

 

 

I have been writing since November 2010 …( I’d been writing all my life … but, I began my blog: ) … just a few months after my son … Tommy … died. When I began my blog I made the promise to all my readers/followers/friends I would describe pure grief, pain of a grieving mother.

 

I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy … I never thought of anyone as I wrote my pain. The truth is … writing my grief, pain … saved my life. While I was in darkness, the keys under my fingertips gave me comfort as well … as an outlet for my grief.

 

 

My grief, pain flowed like the biggest river in the world … rocks hurt like h___ … I still flowed on to … wherever. In fact, before someone says something to add more pain, grief … say empty, useless words … I asked people to just come into my blog to read quietly, leave just as quietly, go their way.

 

 

My beautiful Son … big as life … in a truck stop on his way to somewhere … taking a selfie.  I miss you, Tommy.  Your Mama miss you with her very Heart.

 

They could see how it all felt, never having to experience in their life … grief, pain of a grieving mother. I promised my readers that I would write grief when it happened … as it happened … and I would tell the raw truth about grief.

 

 

No pity … no feeling sorry … read like you are reading something else … if you learn something from my grief, thank God. I pray no one ever goes through losing a child … only child like I did.

 

 

This logo was made just for me by Donnalyn, several years ago.

 

 

I didn’t need all those comments that you are going to always hear people say … such as … ‘oh, he’s in a better place now … he’s sitting down at the Lord’s table eating … you don’t have to worry about him anymore … oh, you’ll get over your grief in no time, like in the next few weeks … the worst one I heard, that fills me with pure, white anger is … oh, I understand, I know how you feel.’ I understand, I know how you feel … can you imagine someone telling you that when they’ve never experienced grief?

 

 

Needless to say … I didn’t say a word to those people … I never forgot them … I forgave them for their careless words. Can you imagine modeling your life after someone who has never experienced what they are ‘selling’? Can you? Can you imagine listening to a pastor preach empty words when he has never experienced being saved, the true feeling of love, compassion, caring for his congregation?

 

 

My son, Tommy … holding his newborn son … Tommy had one son, and one daughter.

 

 

Can you imagine telling a grieving mother that you understand how it feels, her grief should be over in oh, probably … 2 weeks? Can you imagine being told that by someone who has never lost a child? Can you imagine someone who has never experienced the pain, grief in their life … try to tell you how it feels? How you should handle it?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I want to share with my new friends … and new readers/followers on my blog … what happened to Tommy one year almost to the day he died … what he suffered … what his mother suffered, what I was grieving for …. before he died. I was already grieving for Tommy one year before … he died. Tommy ‘died’ … one year before he …. died.

 

 

Every writer knows that in order to write … be real, sincere … they have to write what they know best in life. You can’t fool your readers .. they know when you are being an imposter.

 

 

I write what I know best in my life since being a child … all the way until today … I’ve known grief, pain … awful things throughout my life. I know grief, pain … best. Just remember this when you read ‘me’ … I don’t write to gain your sympathy, pity … I don’t need it. I truly don’t need anyone’s pity.

 

 

Tommy is holding his newborn son …

 

 

I have grown very strong throughout time … think of me like you would a … redwood tree. I’ve withstood many, many terrible storms. I’m weathered, beaten … missing a twig or two … but, I’m still standing. I’m still weathering storms … I do pray for sunshine, calm weather … I would like to rest from battling the storms in my life.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I would like to tell you this … to remember also, about me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I’m the most positive, happiest person you’ll ever meet who is a grieving mother … a person who has battled cancer … congestive heart failure, motorcycle wreck … lost over 19 family members (not just any family members but, the ones I truly loved with my very Heart) … whose husband has battled cancer, almost dying again twice with strokes, heart problems … blood infection in his body from a tiny cut from old wire … lost all in a housefire … the ultimate loss … losing the only child whom I loved the ground he walked on. These are only … a few things ‘BAD’ that’s happened in my life.

 

 

My published book of grief, pain … writing this book saved my life … if you asked me what is in it … I can’t tell you … I can’t remember … I can’t open the book to read it.  Over a thousand pages of pure grief … pure pain.  You are looking at my life raft … writing this book is why I’m here today.  Writing this book makes sure my son, Tommy, is remembered forever.  It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t sell … doesn’t matter at all.  I have my copyright from Library of Congress on this book ( I have 3 copyrights on the 3 books I published).  They don’t sell … that’s okay … I still have my copyrights, and I’m proud to have them … I did it all when I was in the deepest throes of grief.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

 

This is only a fraction of what I’ve battled … so, this is what I write best … pain, grief, sadness. I write it to tell you that no matter how bad … things DO get better … no matter how BAD … they will get good again I can smile now … when I thought I couldn’t ever smile again … I mean how does a mother ever smile again with the knowledge that her child died?

 

 

It does happen … a grieving mother can smile again … but … this grieving mother had to make a choice … either stay in the darkness and not cope with the loss … or … meet it head-on … no matter how bad it hurts … battle it like you would battle with a bear … I did … I was going to either live … or die.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I’m smiling … I am here five years after my son’s death … yes, I still go through bouts of grief … oh my, I really do. Those times are farther apart … and I recover from them quickly now. Does it … lessen the pain, grief … when it comes again … no.

 

 

To write my story … on my blog for maybe the last time about what happened … I had to transport me back deeply into the darkness where I knew my grief, pain was for my son … doing this … something I don’t do anymore … took something out of me … for several days until now … I still feel the pain deeply. I can’t do it anymore … if I do … it may be years down the road.

 

 

For now … in order to understand me, my type of writing … one will have to go read on my blog … this is the link to what happened to Tommy … exactly one year leading up to his death. Link to my Blog: Colors in My Life … /2016/02/this-may-be-last-time-i-tell-anyone.html

 

 

A grieving mother … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

These are only words trying to describe by writing … living pain, grief … they are in no way the same. I couldn’t describe how … it really felt. Know that as you read … there was so much more than what I wrote.

 

 

Unless you are a mother who suffered with her child … then … her child die … you can’t understand at all. The closest you can come to that is … get very quiet … think of one of your children … think of what that child means to you … what you love so dearly about him/her … think of the sounds that child makes when they laugh, talk … everything that makes that one person your child.

 

 

Now … the phone rings … you see your child’s cellphone number pop up on the caller ID … you smile! You answer … you become confused because a stranger is trying to tell you something. What? What did you say?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … a grieving mother who can smile today.

 

 

“Ma’am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand … he’s not breathing.” You have just found out before anyone knows … you are 200 miles away … you learn from a stranger that … your child is dead … he is laying on the soft sand at the ocean where he’d just arrived on vacation to play with his own little boy.

 

 

Your son has just collapsed on the sand … died that fast … 3 blockages to his heart. No one knew he was sick.

 

 

At that very moment … only you and the stranger and his family who cares for the man’s little son to keep him safe … knows your … son is dead.

 

 

The little son is wanting his daddy to get back up … “Let’s run, play … Daddy!”

 

 

I see you can’t bear to think of your child being … dead. I know you can’t … I couldn’t before my own son died. I’m sorry I made you feel pain, grief when imagining losing your child.

 

 

It’s the closest you’ll ever come to understanding a grieving mother … until … I pray you’ll outlive all your children. That’s the way it’s supposed to be … parents should never outlive their children.

 

 

My beautiful Son, my only child … Tommy

Born November 20, 1969

Died May 29, 2010

 

 

 

Children are our world … our family support when we have no one else … children carry on our name, inherit all our possessions and knowledge. Children are truly the … wealth of our world … when we teach them to be the best they can be.

 

 

Children are our everything. Now … I only have Skip, my husband … and our 2 dogs … they are truly the only family I have left in this big, old world … they are my whole world.

 

 

I have no one else … but, you … my online friends, readers and followers. So, my whole world, Skip and our 2 Pups … and you … mean everything to me.

 

 

 Tommy Mitchell Sidden … my only child, my Son.  This is the last photo taken of him driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina … he died that evening … collapsed to the soft, damp sand by the ocean’s waves washing ashore … where he and his little son played just minutes before …  May 29, 2010 … on a Saturday evening.

 

 

 

Just remember whenever you read anything sad, painful that I write … that it’s coming from a most positive person who has traveled many journeys in life … who has felt the pain from many things … who knows how so much feels … who truly knows no matter how bad … everything will be alright.

 

 

Good comes from … bad. Don’t even feel sorry for me … feel how strong the redwood tree looks when you stand below it … it’s still here after many storms have tried to take it down.

 

 

I am short, 5′ 2″ … but, I’m tall in spirit. In soul, I’m larger than life … from all the experiences, journeys I have taken in my life.

 

 

I have no room for pity … I’m not a ‘poor little thing’ … all broken into pieces … I worked very hard … to put ‘me’ back together. Sure … a piece falls off … now and then … I begin scuffling to put it back so … I can be alright again.

 

 

So now … you have an idea who Granny Gee/Gloria is … a strong person who when knocked down … jumps back up, dusts her pants off … holds her ground to meet life head-on … no matter how painful it is. Sometimes, it takes a little time to get up … I always manage.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … in this photo you can see the gold nugget necklace that was around Tommy’s necklace when he died.  He wore it always … it is my class ring melted down into a gold nugget … 11 grams gold.  I gave it to my son … his wife gave it back to me … it meant the world.

 

 

 

Don’t feel pity for me … don’t think when I write my grief … I’m reaching out for someone to feel sorry for me. I don’t need it. Just care … go on … open your eyes wider when you see a grieving person … have compassion, not pity. Just simply … care with your Heart.

 

 

If you say something sincere in your own words (not a bunch of ___ you’ve always heard) … it’ll mean the world to that grieving person. Don’t recite a bunch of nothing just to have something to say … don’t say anything … just hug … care … if you can’t say anything … real.

 

 

Know that I am a for-real good person … I’m most real. I love everyone … see through fakey people … don’t waste time on them. Life’s too short to let others in my life that aren’t sincere.

 

 

I will voice my Gloria Opinions in a moment … I’ll respect yours and you respect mine … I won’t argue anything with anyone. Why? Because I simply don’t have to … it’s not worth the grief, pain it causes.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

One last thing … I’m known for some times, writing long stories. I have to … it’s part of being me. You don’t need to tell me … I already know. I don’t do it all the time … only when … it’s important.

 

 

Photo/story owned … written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Photo is of the only tattoo I most likely will ever have … in memory of my son, Tommy. He loved dragonflies … dragonflies show up in my life at the oddest times.

 

 

My Tommy Dragonfly Tattoo created for me by Jason Wilkins at Revelation Ink & Piercings … his new shop will open in early March 2016 in Raleigh, NC (Wakefield area).  Until then, you will find him at his shop in Louisburg, NC at Dystink’d Tattoo.

 

 

I Don’t Agree With Lotus Birthing … I’ll Tell You Why


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



 

I was watching The Doctors this morning.  I watched about having babies … naturally.  Not only that … leaving the cord/placenta attached to the baby … letting it ‘rot’ off the baby naturally.

The placenta is laid aside with the cord leading to the newborn baby‘s belly … where it begins to decay.  The woman sprinkled flower petals, and such to … keep down the smell.

Why was this done?  To make sure the baby gets all the blood … ‘for a greater transfer of iron- and oxygen-rich blood to the newborn baby’.  The cord can stay attached upwards to three to ten days.

Can you imagine each time changing a baby’s diaper having to move the placenta all around to do it?  Work around it to care for the baby?

It’s called ‘lotus birth‘.  ‘A new trend in natural birthing methods strives to ease a baby’s transition into the world by not detaching the cord and placenta immediately following birth.’

I copied/pasted several things here in quotation marks to share.  The link to all this is:  http://www.treehugger.com/family/lotus-birth-advocates-leave-umbilical-cord-attached-newborn-babies.html

I was listening to the doctors talk about doing this.  They didn’t seem to agree on this way of birthing. Infection, death of  baby could happen … not counting the ‘dead’ placenta laying around.

I listened because they also, discussed something else … that could cause serious life-threatening complications for a mother in labor.  In fact, I thought of myself when I had my only child … I had complications … would have died in childbirth … baby, too.

You can read for yourself to decide what you think.  I know back when I had my baby … it would have spelled doom for me and unborn baby.  No two births are alike.

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Note by this Author:

When I had my child … I carried him for 10 months … my labor was induced on a Monday on November 17th … I suffered until the morning of November 20th at 11:28 am… when they seemed to have a hard time deciding to make me have my child … or take it.

They made me have my baby.  He was a big baby … I had many stitches.  I went through total Hell to have my child … so, did my baby … his head, face had bruises all over from the forceps to pull him.

I don’t think the ‘lotus birthing naturally ‘ … would have been a good thing for mothers in the same situation I … as a young mother … was in.  Death would have been certain.  I couldn’t have had a child … naturally.

This author chose never to have other children because of the God-awful experience of having the one, only child she had.  Not only that … at the time I was in the room in labor I was holding my pain, crying so, I wouldn’t make a noise … when it became impossible to hold back cries … a nurse told me to ‘shut up because I would upset the other women in labor’.

My hands had bite marks on them … I was terrified … no one told me anything about how … to have a baby … I was a young girl.  If I hadn’t had medical help … I’d died in childbirth … so, would have my baby.  Not all childbirths are easy …

Photo/true story … and what I wrote about from watching The Doctors in my words … owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Words I’d Leave With the Living from My Death Bed … Don’t Think Someone’s Old Enough to Know Better!


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
If you listen to me … while I tell you these words while on my death bed … you won’t waste time in your life … you will spend more of it … living … by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I was sitting here at my computer, thinking.  I always get up before Skip and our Pups … very early.  I wake up all through the night, also.  I don’t mind … it’s ‘me’ … I like to be awake.  I am thinking every moment of my Life about something.  I was thinking this morning about … what is most important in one’s life as a young person until the day they become older.

 

What would I say on my deathbed … if someone asked me, “Gloria, out of your whole life … what words would you leave to the living … to guide them in life to save many wasted years, time to learn?”  I was thinking exactly what I would say … and if people listened, focused on my words … the world really would be a happier, better place.  By the time you get to my last word … see if you don’t agree.

 

I was thinking about how many years ago I had a family support system … and how now, there isn’t any family left.  How about you?  Most people I know are very fortunate to have family who will come to their aid … or they go to their family’s aid when one is in trouble.

 

I wonder if you go through life like I did at the time I had family living … taking for granted they would always be there for you?  I remember thinking I was so thankful for them because no matter where I roamed in this country … my family was ‘home’ I could come back to.  If I didn’t have this … have that … they would help me to have what I needed.  I did the same for them.

 

Not only that … when my son, Tommy, was living … he, Skip and I, were very close-knit.  Everyone died off in my family … neither Skip nor I had any family left to be close to … Skip, Tommy and I were there always for the other.  When something good happened for one … the other was always quick to share it with the other.  When something bad happened … we weren’t alone to suffer … we were there for the other.  Tommy’s gone … now, when something happens to Skip … or to me … we are alone.

 

We loved each other that much … we gave to each other … never expecting payback.  Love … pure love, gratefulness for each other.  We knew we were never alone … again, we were there for the other no matter the time of day, night.  I never took my son for granted … everyone in my family I loved, was close to … died.

 

When I say everyone … I mean every person I ever loved with my very Heart … died … they really died.  How many people do you know … who have lost every person that meant the world to them?  Seriously … stop … think about that statement.  I’ve lost every person whom were the most important to me throughout my life.

 

I am betting most everyone can sit, think … and take a deep breath of relief … say ‘thank God, I have a family support system’!

 

You might want to for-real be grateful … look at them in a new way, not take them for granted.  You could be like me … not have anyone when one day you need them.  Both Skip and I have no family to depend on for family support.  So read on … learn from my words so, one day … you won’t walk in my shoes.  I tell you like it really is … like you know … it really is … but, unsaid.  I’ll say it.

 

People say … ‘if you need something, let me know’ … knowing that they mean ‘I know you’re too proud so, I don’t have to worry about you asking, bothering me’.  They are right … they never need to worry.  Family, ‘friends’ who have to say that … aren’t sincere.  They would hate you asking … them … for help.

 

Real people in real Life … who love, care … don’t have to ask … they are always … sensing the people they care about.  They do … actions speak louder than words.  I’m that kind of person when I have extra to give … I even share ‘the last thing I have … or give the last thing I have.’

 

I had a dysfunctional family … the strange thing is … no matter, they would come running to be … there.  I had one brother whom I loved with my very Heart who died … he didn’t have anything but, if he knew I needed him … he would do anything to get to me.  I was the same way with him.  That’s how families who love each other do.  I miss you with my Heart, Rick-Rick.

 

I can remember you standing, crying for me … because you were afraid something happened to me once.  I remember … though I couldn’t speak … when I almost died battling cancer … you slipped into my hospital room to stand by my bedside … crying … for me.  I saw you slip quietly out the door … you didn’t know I was aware of you being there.  I’ve never had another brother cry … for me.

 

I remember my brother, Rick-Rick … back in time … always doing work on my car … he never charged me.  In the winter-time, he’d work on the motor … cutting his cold hands … I can still see the blood on them.  His hands would be shaking from the cold … I remember telling him I was so sorry he hurt his hands to do that for me.

 

Ricky would grin, say it was nothing.  It was something … my Heart hurt … I couldn’t stand to see anything hurt him.  My Heart hurt many times for him … a lot of things hurt my brother, Rick-Rick.  At the time Rick-Rick died … both Skip and I were trying to help him during the last 3 months of his life … we thought we were succeeding … but, in my brother’s world … other forces were at work.  Rest in peace my dear brother … you had one sister who loved you with her very Heart.  I miss you.

 

This is what I mean about … having a family support.  No one has to be perfect … just be … there for you … you there for them.  No one has … to feel alone in this big, cold world.  Why?  Because you have a family support system.

 

I pray that each of you look at your family support system … where it’s weak … strengthen it … make it strong.  Sadly as time goes by … some will die and be gone always … the ones left should be able to draw closer together so, no one is ever alone.

 

Who knows … maybe my words at this moment could make a good difference in your life … they could prompt you to go strenghten your family support system … like keeping your foundation strong under your house … and always keep an eye on it for any crumbling foundation.

 

Fix, repair your foundation/family support system as soon as you see weakness … fix it back as soon as possible … because I promise you if you don’t … you will end up like me when becoming an older adult … you won’t have anyone there for you when … you really need someone.

 

It’s so sad to be alone in this world with no blood relatives who care about you.  It’s sad to be alone in the world with blood relatives who are only strangers to you … and have to always be strangers in this life.

 

It’s very sad … when parents outlive their children … it isn’t meant to be like that. Children should outlive their parents … where everything left from parents … knowledge, possessions … everything should be passed to them.

 

I have no child left … I don’t have a child to ‘carry on for me … to remember me’ … to have whatever I leave in the world at my death.  I am constantly thinking about that … what little I have if Skip isn’t here … won’t go to a relative as I have no close ones.  Anyway … this is a very personal thing.

 

Skip and I already know what we will do if … one of us is gone.  The other knows what to do … with what little … we have.  We don’t have anyone for anything to go to.  Sell it all … and use it to help with cost of living.  I smile … there’s not a lot to sell.  Just a thought … out of many thoughts while I write.  We also, have decided on cremation … no fancy frills … no services … all done in private.

 

Getting back to family support system … what you read here is only a small example of what you’ll be facing … alone … one day if … you don’t strengthen your family support system … friends … have a tight-knit support group around you.  You will be alone in this world as an older adult … no one to talk to, turn to … just no one at all … you’ll be at the mercy of the world.

 

Thankfully … I still have a whole world … Skip and our Pups.  I’m so grateful for them.  I’m not alone, yet.  I hope I’ll never be … reality is … we all have to go … one day.

 

After reading this … look around you … see if you can make strong what’s weak in your family support system.  You’ll be so grateful one day … down the road … if you do.  You might even remember it was me who suggested it.

 

Think about my situation … let it help you make your life stronger … because if you don’t have that family support system … I promise you many tears to cry … when you are all alone, have no one.

 

You’ve heard that old saying … ‘learn from my mistakes’ … so, you won’t have to suffer unnecessarily.  Hopefully … you’ll learn from mine to never know what ‘alone’ is like.  Hopefully … you will have lots and lots of family, friends that you can be there for … can be there for you.

 

I wish many times I had listened … more … to others ‘who have been there, done that’.  I wish I had taken others’ mistakes, learned by them … I would have saved myself years of grieving now … over years wasted on so much.

 

As you get older … you realize the things you think you have to do … people you have to be like so they will like you … do the things they do … so, you’ll be accepted … the time … oh my God … the precious months, years you waste because of trying to be liked, accepted … time that can’t be gotten back … you will sit here like I do … have many regrets when you ask … ‘was it worth it?’

 

You’ll sit here just as I do … look back at the times … you … could have strengthened your family support system.  After all, it’s the most important system you’ll ever have in this world … you’ll wish you’d done that by saying one kind word … say a ‘I’m sorry’ … hug someone close … instead of hurrying off in this big-ass world to live your big life … taking everyone for granted, thinking you are so much, you don’t need anyone.

 

In my case as a young woman … I wish I’d learned from the old saying my mother once told me … I would have saved years of wasting time to focus on what truly matters in life … love, family, friends … caring, giving.  I did do that … but, I should have done more.

 

Oh, the old saying was …. ‘don’t ever fly so high that you can’t fall’.  Now, I know I said that wrong … I always get sayings ‘twisted around’.  That’s okay … it means the same thing … just think about it!

 

I will add to that saying … in my own words … ‘you’ll want to only fall a short ways … into your nest where your family, friends … loved one are waiting on you to protect, gather around you so, you don’t get hurt.’

 

Go strengthen that family support system … while you have the chance.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

If someone asked me just before I died … ‘what would you tell the world to help them before you die?’ … I would tell them all … especially young people … to keep all your family, friends close to your Heart … build the biggest, best family/friend support system you possibly could have … be there for them, them for you.

 

Let your focus be on loving, caring, giving at all times … instead on the meaningless things in life … be yourself, don’t worry what others will think … because it’s going to change as you become older … you will realize you like being yourself … you never had to change for anyone.

 

If you do otherwise … you will have wasted many years, have gone through so much extra grief, pain … because you didn’t know these things.  It’s true … no matter what … no matter how old … no matter you try not to see, know this … this is what Life is really all about … people, loving, caring, giving, receiving … being grateful.

 

Whether you like it or not … life is about people … loving, caring, giving, receiving … always being grateful, thankful … never take for granted.  There isn’t any life … if there aren’t people.

 

Another thing I will add … that I’ve learned the past few months.  I’ve heard 2 people say … “don’t block my blessing when I want to give”.  I’d never heard that in my life … but, when I thought about it … I realized that in my life … my pride got in the way because I never wanted anyone to ever know I ‘needed’.

 

When someone wanted to give … I would thank them while knowing I desperately needed something … tell them I didn’t want to take from them and they do without.

 

I didn’t want anyone to … go without … because of … me.   This is how I always looked at ‘me taking from others’.  I’m learning to take … when I do, I’m most grateful … it does mean the world to me.

 

I always knew how I felt … giving … I felt wonderful inside … I didn’t know if ‘I took’ … that someone could also, feel wonderful inside for me … taking!

 

I thought people liked you better if they know you don’t ‘need’ anything … glad that you don’t ‘take’.  I didn’t know it hurt someone when you didn’t accept what is given freely until … I thought about the times I wanted to give from my Heart … and someone said, “no, I don’t need that”.  I felt the pain when I thought about it.

 

I thought I was ‘doing good’ if … ‘I didn’t take when someone offered’.  How did I get that backwards in Life?  I don’t know … guess what?  I’m an older lady … and I’m still learning in this life … so, never think that someone is always … ‘old enough to know better’!

So, that’s another thing I would say to the living just before I died … don’t block someone’s blessings if they want to give to you … they want to give from their Hearts … and when you smile, say ‘thank-you’ … or they see your eyes reflecting how much it means … that’s all the reward they need … to see you so happy to have gotten what you needed.

 

Think about this one … I’ve had to … it took getting ‘this old’ … to understand it until in the past few months … 2 people said this to me.  I didn’t understand.  I was always the … giver.

 

Photo/true thoughts owned, written by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Describing Shock of Learning Someone Had Died …


 

 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

Disbelief … not sure I heard right.  I need something … to validate what I just heard.  Why?  Because … just because there might be that possibility … it isn’t true.  I just pray it isn’t true.

Someone has made a mistake.  I will try to find out in a discreet way … I don’t want to hurt anyone by asking outright.  If it’s true … oh my God … people are hurting … people are going through such undescribable grief, shock.  I … know how grief, shock feels.

No one needs a nosy-ass person asking questions … it would be like a firecracker going off inside a quiet library … a bull clomping through the house on a white carpet.  It would be just damn awful … and insensitive.

I’ll look online to see … I did … the strange thing is I found the name of someone who died unexpectedly … a year ago … with the same name.  I kept thinking … okay, it is a mistake … someone is talking about this person.

An hour or so later … I looked online once again … and there it is.  It isn’t a mistake.  My Heart instantly fills with sorrow … like when you fill your tank full of gas … overfill your glass … liquid spills over the sides.

I’m full of sorrow for someone who has passed away with so much in life going for them.  Both Skip and I held such high regard for this person … liked them a lot … a whole lot.

Skip admired this person … said this person’s life was everything a life’s plan should be … this person had accomplished everything.

This person did everything in life a man should do.  He excelled in all he did.

Academically … military … family … this person did it all.  He was someone in life … one couldn’t do any better.  Not only that … he was a witty, fun person to talk to.  Also … he ‘was the sharpest knife in the drawer’.

In fact, I will say that it’s rare I see Skip look up to, respect another man as much as he did this person.  That made me know … this person was special.  I liked, respected him very much … moreso … Skip thought ‘he was someone’ … that meant he … really was.

All evening I kept feeling grief for his family, friends.  When someone who is strong … so alive, vibrant in life … unexpectedly dies … there’s no way to describe in words what it does to the people left who loved them … whose world that person was such a huge part of.

I know … my only child unexpectedly died.  He was so strong, alive … so vibrant in life … and like one of the legs on a table … he was a huge part of mine, Skip’s world.  Not more than 3 weeks ago … I almost lost ‘another leg’ on the table … my world would have crashed.  Skip almost died in the hospital.

Skip said it made him question his own mortality … the person who died was so strong, healthy … had a good life.  It’s hard to believe he died.  Skip said here he was … going through medical, financial, mental stress … he made it through … when he had a stroke, his heart rate went so low.  He can’t believe it.  He thinks if anyone should have died … it would have been him.

Below are my thoughts I can’t say to this person … so, I write them.  Sometimes, I write to Tommy, my son … how do we know that our words we write … travel out through the universe … doesn’t also, travel to Heaven … to be read, heard?

So in case … I will write my words as well … as think them.  These are my words to this Special person.

***********************************************************************

 

 

To YOU …  May my words travel into the Universe, Heaven to you.

I can only think … I am so, so sorry you are gone.  We truly liked you very much.  I’m so glad we had time to carry on a conversation the last time we saw you.

You were so funny … and interesting to talk to.  Skip and I went away from you … glad to have talked to you … saying what a wonderful person you were.

In my mind … when I ‘look back’ … seeing us all talking … it’s like seeing a flash of sunshine … smiles, laughter.  All good things … we have a good memory of you.  I feel the world lost a good person … and Heaven gained someone who will help the sun shine brighter.

Skip was impressed, talking about how you did so much in your ‘young’ life … he wished he’d went on to do such.

We will never forget you … though it may seem we do.  We never forget people who made us feel good … happy to have met them.  YOU were one of these people.

 

 

 

*******************************************************************

 

 

Note by this Author:

I promised to share grief whenever I experienced it … this is grief for another person other than my Son.  This grief is for a person who made an impression on both mine, Skip’s life … a good impression.

He made us glad to know him … not everyone can say that.  Anytime … one can ‘look back in their mind’ when thinking of someone who has died … see, sense sunshine … that lets you know that person made a positive impact on your life.

My true words, thoughts … and photo are written, owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Death is Walking Near …


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

Eyes closed, head pressed against my hands

 

Cold fingers caress my forehead

 

Emotion wells up inside my Heart

 

I hear the cold wind blowing, wind chimes ringing

 

I feel afraid … why?  I feel so small in this big world

 

Tears flow down my cheeks … clouds squeezing out raindrops

 

Why am I crying … why am I afraid … sad?

 

Death is walking near … I feel him ever so often

 

I pray with my Heart for him to go away

 

Please don’t touch my world anymore

 

You’ve taken everyone who meant the world to me

 

Please go away … I need what I have left

 

So, I can live, not be alone in this big, cold world

 

Sitting here, I wring my hands … I hear my dog howl

 

From the bedroom down the hall … did he sense something

 

Did he feel Death was walking close to us?

 

I pray my Lord to keep us safe, sound

 

Please don’t let Death enter my world … they’re all I have

 

I have my husband, our two Pups

 

I sit here with my head in my hands

 

I’m crying deep down in my soul … am I grieving

 

For my son … or am I just sad … why am I crying

 

Crying as my thoughts go through the walls to outside

 

To ride on the wind as they blow the wind chimes

 

They ring as I look about me … in the night

 

In the night light … trees sway … it’s so cold

 

Is Death coming for me … is that why I’m afraid

 

Why I’m sad … why I cry … do I sense something

 

Did my dog?  I don’t want to die either

 

I haven’t finished my living yet … I need more time

 

I find myself holding my hands to my Heart

 

My chin resting upon them … my eyes closed

 

I have a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach

 

Why?  I know everything will be all right

 

So … why am I crying … why am I sad, feel so down?

 

I become aware of the chimes ringing louder

 

The wind is blowing harder

 

I get up to go look out my window

 

I relax as I stand looking out … snowflakes!

 

The wind is blowing snowflakes from Heaven!

 

A smile comes to my lips … inside my Heart

 

I feel Life soar inside me … as Death goes away

 

Leaving me, my world alone for another time

 

I thank God from my Heart … for now, I’m not alone

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

I woke up at 2:00 am this morning, couldn’t go back to sleep.  Thoughts of things that slightly upset me were on my mind.  I can’t seem to shake them … make them go away.

 

I couldn’t lay in bed with such turmoil going on inside me … it was like a boat trying to float under water.  I just couldn’t do it.  I know you’ve had those times when you couldn’t just lay in a bed with so much going on in your mind.

 

I got up, came to my computer, began to write to make my sadness, yes … even some anger, fears go away.  I’ve written many words this morning to put distance between me … what makes me upset, afraid.

 

I still have a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach … I must have more words to write to make it go away.

 

Thoughts, photo written, owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.+

Sometimes … We Don’t Need to Know Everything


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Email:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com

Facebook.com/grannygee

 

 

We’ve been keeping up with the news about the little 13 year old girl who met an older guy online.  We don’t know all the circumstances yet … but, he and another girl who was close to his age … murdered this young girl.

 

 

They stabbed her to death.  Why?  They haven’t told us ‘why?’, yet.  Two people who are around the ages of 19-21 years old … stabbed, killed a 13 year old girl?  What’s wrong with that picture?

 

 

A little, innocent girl … who met the boy online … she climbs up on a piece of furniture in her bedroom, slips out the window to go … meet Death unknowingly.

 

 

We wonder if the couple raped, tortured her.  We wondered if they cursed her, scared her … tortured her physically … tortured her mentally, verbally before she died.  We worried that they did, said unspeakable things to her before she died … how long did she … have to know … she was going to die?  If it was quick … or took a long time?

 

 

These things are in our minds … and I wonder what her last thoughts were … was she in shock from the realization of the mistake she’d made as a child … a mistake she’d have no chance of … ever not making again.  Knowing … she should have listened to the warnings to not talk to strangers online … not to go meet them.

 

 

I know as a child growing up … when I knew I was learning a lesson in life … I remember thinking ‘oh my God! if I can just make it through this … I’ll never do it again!’  This little girl never got that chance to ‘never do it again’ … she learned a lesson … but, it was too late to know that she did.  I worried for her thoughts before … darkness came … permanent darkness.

 

 

I think of such things … I think of details … I worry for what people go through … I care.  I wish I could make time go back … the little girl live to never repeat her mistake again.  If this … if that … I go back to worrying what were her last thoughts … I know her parents do … and it torments them.

 

 

I’ve lost my only child … I worry for what were his last thoughts … things like that.  Sometimes … we don’t need to know everything.

 

 

I always think to the last moments when I hear someone has died, been murdered, killed. I grieve for what they must have gone through. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

 

It is my nature to think about everything … living or dying.  My mind looks for even the tiniest details … it wants to know everything.  Maybe I should have been a detective in my life.  I would have been thorough … go the extra mile in determining the cause of this … of that.

 

 

I look closely at the photo put up on the news broadcast … 13 years old.  I still ‘see’ her baby face … she hadn’t even begun to mature like a lot of young girls do … getting a older face as a teenager.  She hadn’t even got to the point of using make-up to be … beautiful … she didn’t get the chance to do anything … to be a teenager.

 

 

Two people … I think the girl was 19 … and maybe the boy was 21 … not too much older than her … killed her.  Why did the bastards do that?  They didn’t know that little girl.  I wonder if they terrorized her … prolonged torturing her before they killed her.

 

 

I truly wish each person who murdered someone … would have the same thing done to them … if there’s no doubt.  Or … taken to the point of being murdered … left to be made to live so, they can feel, see how it felt.  Do I sound cruel?  I promise you I’m not.  I have the biggest Heart in the world.

 

 

Photo/story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Death …


Death …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

 

 

Death … the end … no more chances

To say or do the things we put off doing

Never enough time to learn to do it now … not later

Death … having to let go whether we want to or not

Pulls us from this world when we don’t want to let go

We leave when Death calls … no matter we try to hold onto Life

Death … makes me panic, fear

It’s the end of all things … no more here

Just the ever-after … darkness no light

At one time it didn’t matter if I died

If I had died I wouldn’t have known the difference

I was already walking in darkness, I was gone

That’s what happens when you lose a child

A precious baby you carried, brought into the world

You never expect to outlive it

I can’t think of a worse pain for a mother

She’s very fortunate to recover from it

It almost took my life … my fighting spirit took over

Took over when I didn’t know

Began to pull me from the depths of darkness

Darkness kept sucking me in

Knowledge of my child’s death

Was bigger than me, hard to live with it inside

I couldn’t walk away, leave it behind

Every moment of my life it tortured me

I couldn’t see light for darkness

When I did it was gone in an instant

Grief … so much grief

No room for happiness, fun things

Pain greater than great

No one can understand unless they walk the path

To feel, really feel the pain

Only when they lose a loved one will they understand

I’m afraid of dying … I want to live

No longer do I want to let go of Life

I can live now, knowing my son is gone

Five years ago he died playing on the beach

With his three year old son

He died a beautiful death, the way anyone’d want to go

No pain, suffering … quick

The angels buffered his fall to the sand

As he collapsed, drawing his last breath

The sea gulls sang, the ocean waves were background

The sun caressed his sweet face

As his soul lifted to fly with Angels to Heaven

Death … I’ve been almost through the door

How I came back I do not know

I would have never known I died, I was gone

When someone we love dies

It’s hard to accept we won’t see them anymore

Hear their voices, see their smiles

In order to live we have to learn to accept

The fact they aren’t coming back

We have to help ourself to cope

If we don’t, we are doomed

I helped myself after 3 long years

Of darkness in the land of grief

It began with me helping myself

Through writing the Hell away

Releasing grief word by word

Putting steel in my backbone

Getting to my feet, dusting my pants off

Facing Life once more … head on

Since … little baby steps by baby steps

I have made it after five long years

I’m alright now … this year being the best

Death didn’t claim me, I don’t know why

Grief, sickness took me to its door

I’m living proof that miracles happen

I’m still here when the others aren’t

Others being all my loved ones, my son

I don’t know why … I won’t question why

I will go on with my life being the best I can

I’m not perfect nor try to be

I will live until I die … until Death comes for me

Note by this Author:

Sometimes, on gloomy days when Skip isn’t around … I become very sad.  The thoughts of Death will sometimes bother me.

Thinking of Tommy … my son, my mother, father, aunts, brother, grandmothers, George the only grandfather I ever knew, cousins … everyone I grew up loving with my very Heart … make me very sad.

All my family is gone … the ones left are gone, too.  Only a few communicate with me … it means the world to me.  Our lives are so far apart that we could never have relationships.  It is the way Life is … sad.

It’s the legacy left to us of our family before us … distrust of the others knowing if you get close … reveal your weakness that that’s the first thing they will use against you if they become upset at you.  No one can trust.  Life is what it is … no more, no less.

Some of us try … but, we are always on guard.  We have been conditioned to be that way since a little child.

Today is a gloomy, rainy day.  These sad thoughts came to my mind.

Photos/ poem owned, written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I Believe in the Right to Die With Dignity …


I Believe in the Right to Die With Dignity …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

Photo is owned by me.  The friend (Cindy) who made this for us never knew how comforting I found this light in the bottle to be. Even my photo of it … comforts me.  Why?  Because light chases the darkness away.  I’ve been in darkness too much in my life.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

This is another controversial subject I’m going to write about. I’m going to tell you how I feel about it.

I respect your feelings, your way of thinking on this subject.  I would never think I can tell you what to feel, think.  I will let you respect my feelings, way of thinking … I couldn’t let anyone tell me that my way of thinking is wrong.  How do you know?  How do I know?

So, before I go on … I can see your way of thinking as well as my way of thinking.  It’s just that my way of thinking ‘feels right’ to me inside my Heart.  These are my feelings that are … right for me.

I have been in the position of dying … of knowing I was going to die.  I know what it feels like to … know … there was no need of buying me pretty clothes … Ty Beanie Babies for my collection … no need of doing anything extra for me.

I knew I wouldn’t live to see a future.  I didn’t want money wasted on me when it could be used for more important.  This was my way of thinking when I so sick …

If you’ve never been to this point in life … being sick with a life-threatening illness … so close to death, I can’t expect you to understand.  The only way you will be able to make such a decision as I’m going to talk about … is to go to the doorstep of Death … if you can come back from it … you can make a judgement.

I’ve been there a few times in my life.   I was dying from cancer … non-Hodgkins lymphoma … the suffering, tests, the time it took to find out what was wrong with me before surgeries … took several months.  Only surgery could … save my life.

After the surgery … I was told I could die before I opened my eyes to see who was telling me I had cancer.  I never saw her … I never saw the oncologist that saved my life with the aggressive treatment she used … and others didn’t understand why she chose that.  It worked … it damaged my heart.  It was a trade-off to live.  I’ll take that.

I remember I thought she was a big, tall presence.  Later, months later when I began to be aware of things … I really looked at her, saw that she was tall but … not big.  How did I think she was ‘big’?  Because later I found out she lost a lot of weight.  Strange how I perceived her … I never saw her clearly and was drugged up.

When I heard her booming voice … the nurse, Skip were sitting me up in a chair in the Intensive Care Cardiac Unit … that’s the first I remember.  All I could see were tall letters in my mind when the oncologist’s voice said … C A N C E R … in giant letters.

I’ll have to describe the strange feeling, thoughts that played in my mind when I couldn’t see around me …  because of the drugs given to me, the weakened state I was in.  I kept thinking I could go back on the other side if only … I could go back, not have cancer.

I was dying.  For some reason, I kept ‘thinking I could go back to being all right if …. ‘

I could see an invisible line … if I could just go back to the other side of it.  I lay in that dark world … my mind kept trying to take me back … to the other side of that … invisible straight line.  Strange I know.  I’ll examine that closely one day.  I’ve never taken time … why does it bother me … now?

I know now, I have lived 16 years when I shouldn’t have … not many made it.  The new oncologist told me not long ago, I shouldn’t be here … 98% didn’t make it with what I had, and as sick as I was.  I was at Death’s door the morning I had the first surgery to remove the huge mass off my lung … resting on my heart.

I will have to take time to sometime, think about what if anything I have done of value during the precious sixteen years I was given.  I don’t think I’ve done anything so special.  I should have at least been some kind of hero or something.

Anyway, dying with dignity.  This is how I really feel after making it back from the Cancer Journey in my life.

I feel if I’m at the point of dying … know that I’m not going to live … laying in agony … or becoming a ‘vegetable’ … I should have the option to end my life while I’m aware.  I feel I should be able to say my goodbyes if by that time … I have anyone to say goodbye to.

No one knows it … I had my option to let go of life … if I knew with certainty I was dying, no chance of living.

I knew I wasn’t going to live … I was preparing.  The thing is … strange thing is … something kicked in (I do think it was that infamous fighting spirit I have :).

When it kicked in … I began seeing in my mind … the future.  The future where I could see me doing things once again.  It was like putting a colorful toy just out of reach … to encourage a child to learn to walk.  If he wants it bad enough … well, you know the rest.

When that happened, I began forcing myself to sit up (oh God, I could never tell you the horrible pain I had in my chest … get a thoracotomy … you will always know.  I had two thoracotomies exactly one year apart … I have ‘forever pain’ you wouldn’t believe).

Anyway, no matter the horrible pain … I couldn’t see straight for the powerful medicines I was given … I made my body raise up, stand up, hold onto things to walk.

I could barely walk … and go only a few steps.  Tears ran down my face, I couldn’t breathe for crying … I kept doing this for many months.

I had become determined to live.  I wanted to live … I wasn’t accepting death without one hell of a fight.  When I did these things … I would fall into bed … in agonizing pain.  No matter, I meant to get strong.

No one can ever know the agony I was in … I was alone while Skip was working as a fleet manager in a produce company.  I tried to be strong when he came home so, he could go to work, know I was all right.

Not only that … if he even thought I was suffering … he would become very upset.  So, many times I have to say … I fooled Skip into thinking I was so tough, strong … we have to do what we got to do.

That wasn’t a bad way to fool someone … at least in my situation.  It did make me personally stronger, and I made it.  It gave him comfort … he just knew I was still me … and I could do what I said.

After 3 years of fighting the toughest battle of my life … I made it in time to go with Skip to the doctor, then … oncologist … to be there when he was diagnosed with … colon cancer.

Skip had been caring for me, working his ass off … and he was … dying with colon cancer that had begun coming through his colon.

I’ll never forget what I said to him at the moment he went into shock.  I said, “Skip … that must be the reason I lived … so, you could see that you can make it.  I’ll take care of you just like you did me”.

I will say this … when I became aware of Skip being sick … something wrong … was during the time I was very ill.  I couldn’t make decisions for myself at that time … had to hold onto things to walk.  My body was in bad shape … I was on powerful medicines.

Skip came to me during that time, told me that he’d been bleeding.  When he’d ‘go’ to the bathroom … the commode would be filled with blood.  You know how sick I must have been when I couldn’t jump up from there … make him get to a doctor.  I wanted to … but, the state of mind when one is very ill … you aren’t yourself.

One day, I raised up out of bed after Skip told me he wished I could see all the blood.  I meant to see it … I knew deep down something was wrong.  Skip had been suffering with terrible cramps in his legs.  Ripping cramps up the inside of his legs.  This had been going on for months.

I made Skip help me to go see … my knees buckled under me, he grabbed me.  I began crying … I knew then … Skip had colon cancer.  The damn crazy thing here is … I ‘knew’ … but, being so sick I couldn’t keep it in my mind … I couldn’t make him go to the doctor … I couldn’t help myself.  Months went by …

This is what happened as time went by … I had something in my mind that ‘made me’ know I was going to get well to do.  I meant for Skip to go to a doctor.  I knew … he was very sick.  Skip … like me … is strong … has a fighting spirit that matches mine … maybe stronger.

I know our neighbors heard me crying through the walls of our home at that time.  They just didn’t know that I was beginning to force myself to do things in the house again.  I had a purpose ….

I made myself hold a broom … my hands had forgotten what a broom felt like.  So hard, splintery.  I made myself put clothes in the washer.  I began to mop … sure the area was very small … it was a beginning.  I burned my hands as I stood at the stove staring at the eye on top … it was hot.

Somehow I had forgotten … like a child, I didn’t think about it burning me … isn’t that amazing?  I took something out of the oven … letting my hand touch the top … I learned from that burn … not to touch hot things.  Now … I knew that … but, forgot everything during my illness.  I am amazed when I think back.

I began to do little things … in my mind … I could see me in my future being strong, well again.  I knew I wouldn’t be letting myself die … with dignity.  I knew I was going to live.

You have to know that knowing I could decide what I wanted to do … if … I was going to die … gave me comfort.  I needed that comfort … I didn’t want to live not having quality of life, someone having to care for me.  So, no matter what anyone thinks … that’s the way I felt … still feel.  I won’t argue it with anyone.

A person who has never experienced this … can talk all they want to.  Put their ass in the same situation … see what they do.  It’s funny how things change when the person who talks loudest … experiences pain, agony, near death.  You find out what you are made of.  You find out … that your whole perspective changes on life, death.  You find out … you know nothing.

So … those who run their mouth about this or that … don’t really know anything … maybe they’ll get to know firsthand … then, we can see what they think.

It’s like in my situation being a grieving mother … I lost my only child … having listened to people who ‘knew it all’ about losing a child … find out they don’t know a damn thing … they don’t know how it feels to have their own child … die.  Some people … hadn’t ever had a child … go figure.

Until people can walk on those roads in life … they can only ‘guess’ at what they would do.  I promise you … they won’t do all these things they so loudly say they will do when … tragedy strikes.  I promise you that.  It would be good if they kept their mouths shut … not make an ass of themselves.

They do not know a damn thing.  Admit it … just say I think I would try to do this or that.  Not ‘if my child dies I know I’ll do this, I know I’ll do that’.  Like I said … you don’t know a damn thing.

I don’t even listen anymore to people … like you.  It’s probably best for you to tell someone who has a weaker mind than I do … I don’t want to hear it.

Why … would I listen … to you  …tell me something you’ve never had to deal with in your life?  You’d be like a teacher trying to teach … never having an education … not a foot to stand on.

It’s like someone telling you how to drive … never driving in their life.  It’s a whole different ballgame …

Anyway … unless one knows from experience … it would pay to tread lightly when saying things around people … who have survived trauma, tragedy … bad things in their life.  You don’t want to make these people … teach you a thing or two.  You really don’t have to say a thing excepting … I care, I’m so sorry.

This is some … I never said it’s all I think on the subject of death … of what I think about dying with dignity.  In my case after experiencing what I have with near-death …  it’s for me.  I believe in it.  I believe in hospice … keeping someone from suffering.

I believe in my case, my life … I would want to have a tablet to take when it came time that I knew I couldn’t come back from my illness.  I can’t speak for you … only for myself.

I believe in the right to die with dignity.

 

 

Note by this Author:  Photos/my thoughts on this subject are both owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

 

Undersea Living Memorials


UnderSea Living Memorials …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork of ocean is done by me.  I write on Bestwriters.net … this is a story I published there.  Here’s link to come visit:         http://www.bestwriters.net/?mref=GrannyGee



Did you know you, or your loved one can have their ashes put in an urn, and put in the ocean, at the bottom … to ‘live’ on?

The urn will attract all kinds of marine life, plants and fish, crustaceans.

Not only that, there are benefits to underwater burials.  Land used for cemeteries, planting, building, conservation doesn’t have to be used.  Makes sense when the world is over-populated, land is disappearing.

I didn’t know until I read more in depth, that the ground water runs off into lakes, streams have fertilizers in it that are used to keep the cemetery grounds lush, green.

Not only that, I read that embalming fluid (would you believe it’s used in many things you come in contact every day?), can cause great harm over time.  It’s released into the enviroment.  It’s known to cause cancer.

I know I am most allergic to embalming fluid.  Skip bought me a big, beautiful chest to put some of my porcelain dolls in, once.  I was showing a friend my dolls, and I was touching the inside of the chest often as I took each doll out.  We were enjoying looking at the beautiful dresses, hair on each doll.

A little while later, my husband and my friend noticed my face had big, swollen areas on it … my skin was purple on those areas.  I began to have an awful reaction to it.

I couldn’t breathe, and sounded as if I had a cold for a week.  It affected me in a very bad way.  That’s to let you know what I personally know about embalming fluid.

Who knows?  Could this be the cause of so much cancer, today?  Like from when the last generation was buried?  I don’t know the answer to this, but … if I find out, I will write about it.

Getting back to my article about Undersea Memorials.  Did you know that … ‘it would save 90 million board feet of rainforest hardwoods that are used in the production of caskets’?  I read that when I was reading about undersea burial (something I am interested in).

Steel is used, also, in the making of caskets.  The urns used for undersea burial are made of recycled materials such as volcanic ash, all-natural concrete, and fibers for reinforcement.

The reefs undersea, help by making artificial coral reefs.  Therefore, attracting undersea life … plants, fish.

You can Google undersea memorials at sea, and learn more about how a family can go out on a luxury ocean vessel to bury their loved one’s ashes.  You can go on to read the FAQ’s, and about what the urns are made of, how much they weigh, cost.

It’s something I’ve been thinking about for years.  There are different ways they do this, so … you’ll find out a lot of info on this subject.  Personally, I think it a wonderful way to ‘live on’, with marine life all around ‘me’.

 

I Didn’t Know You Were Going To Die…


I Didn’t Know You Were Going To Die…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I walked by a table, a family was laughing… talking

I heard my name, looked up to see an attractive face

Smiling at me, with twinkling… mischievous eyes

 

Kenan!  I called her name aloud with happiness

I was always glad to see Kenan… with her sweet smile

So very petite, pretty… ever-lasting beauty into ‘old’ age

 

We used to laugh, talk about getting ‘old’

I’d look at her, think ‘when I get your age’

I hope I could look so beautiful the way you do

 

I always cared about you, Kenan

I didn’t know you were sick

I pray that you never suffered, went to sleep

 

To wake up in Heaven to brighten

Their day with your glowing smile

Just as you always did mine… whenever I saw you

 

Rest in peace, my friend… Kenan

I’m feeling the pain of discovering you are gone

I would have spent more time talking to you

 

Laughing, being mischievous, having fun

As you and I did, when we saw each other

But… when I last saw you… I didn’t know you were going to die

 

Goodbye my friend, Kenan

I hope you see my son in Heaven

As he is already there…

 

You’ll see a smile as bright as yours

Maybe you’ll laugh, talk, see us ‘down here’

Knowing no matter what… our love can reach Heaven, too

 

I sit here, and my tears threaten to… overflow

Like water washing over a dam

My little smile like sunshine reflecting on the river

 

Sending rays of love, caring

That travels all the way to you

I’m so sad… I didn’t know you were going to die