What You Need To Know about Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

From time to time I have to remind others ‘why?’ I write. I don’t write to gain pity … I write to live. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Think of me as the strongest, biggest Redwood tree in the forest.  I’m still standing after all Life’s storms.  Pray that I have beautiful, calm weather until the end of my days.  I would love to know that for the rest of my life.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee.

Artwork by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  … I’m still standing.

 

 

This is the link to this story I wrote today … 2-29-2016 … I want to tell my new readers, friends, followers ‘why?’ I write ……. I want to remind everyone who knows me why I write grief, pain … I write as I promised about grief, pain when it happens, how it feels.  

 

 

http://new.mylot.com/post/2898107/this-may-be-the-last-time-i-tell-what-happened-to-tommy

 

 

Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.  Think of me as … envision the biggest, strongest Redwood tree … I’ve weathered many of Life’s storms … twigs, limbs are missing … but … I’m still standing.  I hope now … at this point in my Life … that the weather be wonderful … calm … until the end of my days.  I’ve had enough grief, pain for several lifetimes.

 

 

I have been writing since November 2010 …( I’d been writing all my life … but, I began my blog: ) … just a few months after my son … Tommy … died. When I began my blog I made the promise to all my readers/followers/friends I would describe pure grief, pain of a grieving mother.

 

I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy … I never thought of anyone as I wrote my pain. The truth is … writing my grief, pain … saved my life. While I was in darkness, the keys under my fingertips gave me comfort as well … as an outlet for my grief.

 

 

My grief, pain flowed like the biggest river in the world … rocks hurt like h___ … I still flowed on to … wherever. In fact, before someone says something to add more pain, grief … say empty, useless words … I asked people to just come into my blog to read quietly, leave just as quietly, go their way.

 

 

My beautiful Son … big as life … in a truck stop on his way to somewhere … taking a selfie.  I miss you, Tommy.  Your Mama miss you with her very Heart.

 

They could see how it all felt, never having to experience in their life … grief, pain of a grieving mother. I promised my readers that I would write grief when it happened … as it happened … and I would tell the raw truth about grief.

 

 

No pity … no feeling sorry … read like you are reading something else … if you learn something from my grief, thank God. I pray no one ever goes through losing a child … only child like I did.

 

 

This logo was made just for me by Donnalyn, several years ago.

 

 

I didn’t need all those comments that you are going to always hear people say … such as … ‘oh, he’s in a better place now … he’s sitting down at the Lord’s table eating … you don’t have to worry about him anymore … oh, you’ll get over your grief in no time, like in the next few weeks … the worst one I heard, that fills me with pure, white anger is … oh, I understand, I know how you feel.’ I understand, I know how you feel … can you imagine someone telling you that when they’ve never experienced grief?

 

 

Needless to say … I didn’t say a word to those people … I never forgot them … I forgave them for their careless words. Can you imagine modeling your life after someone who has never experienced what they are ‘selling’? Can you? Can you imagine listening to a pastor preach empty words when he has never experienced being saved, the true feeling of love, compassion, caring for his congregation?

 

 

My son, Tommy … holding his newborn son … Tommy had one son, and one daughter.

 

 

Can you imagine telling a grieving mother that you understand how it feels, her grief should be over in oh, probably … 2 weeks? Can you imagine being told that by someone who has never lost a child? Can you imagine someone who has never experienced the pain, grief in their life … try to tell you how it feels? How you should handle it?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I want to share with my new friends … and new readers/followers on my blog … what happened to Tommy one year almost to the day he died … what he suffered … what his mother suffered, what I was grieving for …. before he died. I was already grieving for Tommy one year before … he died. Tommy ‘died’ … one year before he …. died.

 

 

Every writer knows that in order to write … be real, sincere … they have to write what they know best in life. You can’t fool your readers .. they know when you are being an imposter.

 

 

I write what I know best in my life since being a child … all the way until today … I’ve known grief, pain … awful things throughout my life. I know grief, pain … best. Just remember this when you read ‘me’ … I don’t write to gain your sympathy, pity … I don’t need it. I truly don’t need anyone’s pity.

 

 

Tommy is holding his newborn son …

 

 

I have grown very strong throughout time … think of me like you would a … redwood tree. I’ve withstood many, many terrible storms. I’m weathered, beaten … missing a twig or two … but, I’m still standing. I’m still weathering storms … I do pray for sunshine, calm weather … I would like to rest from battling the storms in my life.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I would like to tell you this … to remember also, about me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … I’m the most positive, happiest person you’ll ever meet who is a grieving mother … a person who has battled cancer … congestive heart failure, motorcycle wreck … lost over 19 family members (not just any family members but, the ones I truly loved with my very Heart) … whose husband has battled cancer, almost dying again twice with strokes, heart problems … blood infection in his body from a tiny cut from old wire … lost all in a housefire … the ultimate loss … losing the only child whom I loved the ground he walked on. These are only … a few things ‘BAD’ that’s happened in my life.

 

 

My published book of grief, pain … writing this book saved my life … if you asked me what is in it … I can’t tell you … I can’t remember … I can’t open the book to read it.  Over a thousand pages of pure grief … pure pain.  You are looking at my life raft … writing this book is why I’m here today.  Writing this book makes sure my son, Tommy, is remembered forever.  It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t sell … doesn’t matter at all.  I have my copyright from Library of Congress on this book ( I have 3 copyrights on the 3 books I published).  They don’t sell … that’s okay … I still have my copyrights, and I’m proud to have them … I did it all when I was in the deepest throes of grief.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

 

This is only a fraction of what I’ve battled … so, this is what I write best … pain, grief, sadness. I write it to tell you that no matter how bad … things DO get better … no matter how BAD … they will get good again I can smile now … when I thought I couldn’t ever smile again … I mean how does a mother ever smile again with the knowledge that her child died?

 

 

It does happen … a grieving mother can smile again … but … this grieving mother had to make a choice … either stay in the darkness and not cope with the loss … or … meet it head-on … no matter how bad it hurts … battle it like you would battle with a bear … I did … I was going to either live … or die.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I’m smiling … I am here five years after my son’s death … yes, I still go through bouts of grief … oh my, I really do. Those times are farther apart … and I recover from them quickly now. Does it … lessen the pain, grief … when it comes again … no.

 

 

To write my story … on my blog for maybe the last time about what happened … I had to transport me back deeply into the darkness where I knew my grief, pain was for my son … doing this … something I don’t do anymore … took something out of me … for several days until now … I still feel the pain deeply. I can’t do it anymore … if I do … it may be years down the road.

 

 

For now … in order to understand me, my type of writing … one will have to go read on my blog … this is the link to what happened to Tommy … exactly one year leading up to his death. Link to my Blog: Colors in My Life … /2016/02/this-may-be-last-time-i-tell-anyone.html

 

 

A grieving mother … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

These are only words trying to describe by writing … living pain, grief … they are in no way the same. I couldn’t describe how … it really felt. Know that as you read … there was so much more than what I wrote.

 

 

Unless you are a mother who suffered with her child … then … her child die … you can’t understand at all. The closest you can come to that is … get very quiet … think of one of your children … think of what that child means to you … what you love so dearly about him/her … think of the sounds that child makes when they laugh, talk … everything that makes that one person your child.

 

 

Now … the phone rings … you see your child’s cellphone number pop up on the caller ID … you smile! You answer … you become confused because a stranger is trying to tell you something. What? What did you say?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … a grieving mother who can smile today.

 

 

“Ma’am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand … he’s not breathing.” You have just found out before anyone knows … you are 200 miles away … you learn from a stranger that … your child is dead … he is laying on the soft sand at the ocean where he’d just arrived on vacation to play with his own little boy.

 

 

Your son has just collapsed on the sand … died that fast … 3 blockages to his heart. No one knew he was sick.

 

 

At that very moment … only you and the stranger and his family who cares for the man’s little son to keep him safe … knows your … son is dead.

 

 

The little son is wanting his daddy to get back up … “Let’s run, play … Daddy!”

 

 

I see you can’t bear to think of your child being … dead. I know you can’t … I couldn’t before my own son died. I’m sorry I made you feel pain, grief when imagining losing your child.

 

 

It’s the closest you’ll ever come to understanding a grieving mother … until … I pray you’ll outlive all your children. That’s the way it’s supposed to be … parents should never outlive their children.

 

 

My beautiful Son, my only child … Tommy

Born November 20, 1969

Died May 29, 2010

 

 

 

Children are our world … our family support when we have no one else … children carry on our name, inherit all our possessions and knowledge. Children are truly the … wealth of our world … when we teach them to be the best they can be.

 

 

Children are our everything. Now … I only have Skip, my husband … and our 2 dogs … they are truly the only family I have left in this big, old world … they are my whole world.

 

 

I have no one else … but, you … my online friends, readers and followers. So, my whole world, Skip and our 2 Pups … and you … mean everything to me.

 

 

 Tommy Mitchell Sidden … my only child, my Son.  This is the last photo taken of him driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina … he died that evening … collapsed to the soft, damp sand by the ocean’s waves washing ashore … where he and his little son played just minutes before …  May 29, 2010 … on a Saturday evening.

 

 

 

Just remember whenever you read anything sad, painful that I write … that it’s coming from a most positive person who has traveled many journeys in life … who has felt the pain from many things … who knows how so much feels … who truly knows no matter how bad … everything will be alright.

 

 

Good comes from … bad. Don’t even feel sorry for me … feel how strong the redwood tree looks when you stand below it … it’s still here after many storms have tried to take it down.

 

 

I am short, 5′ 2″ … but, I’m tall in spirit. In soul, I’m larger than life … from all the experiences, journeys I have taken in my life.

 

 

I have no room for pity … I’m not a ‘poor little thing’ … all broken into pieces … I worked very hard … to put ‘me’ back together. Sure … a piece falls off … now and then … I begin scuffling to put it back so … I can be alright again.

 

 

So now … you have an idea who Granny Gee/Gloria is … a strong person who when knocked down … jumps back up, dusts her pants off … holds her ground to meet life head-on … no matter how painful it is. Sometimes, it takes a little time to get up … I always manage.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … in this photo you can see the gold nugget necklace that was around Tommy’s necklace when he died.  He wore it always … it is my class ring melted down into a gold nugget … 11 grams gold.  I gave it to my son … his wife gave it back to me … it meant the world.

 

 

 

Don’t feel pity for me … don’t think when I write my grief … I’m reaching out for someone to feel sorry for me. I don’t need it. Just care … go on … open your eyes wider when you see a grieving person … have compassion, not pity. Just simply … care with your Heart.

 

 

If you say something sincere in your own words (not a bunch of ___ you’ve always heard) … it’ll mean the world to that grieving person. Don’t recite a bunch of nothing just to have something to say … don’t say anything … just hug … care … if you can’t say anything … real.

 

 

Know that I am a for-real good person … I’m most real. I love everyone … see through fakey people … don’t waste time on them. Life’s too short to let others in my life that aren’t sincere.

 

 

I will voice my Gloria Opinions in a moment … I’ll respect yours and you respect mine … I won’t argue anything with anyone. Why? Because I simply don’t have to … it’s not worth the grief, pain it causes.

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

One last thing … I’m known for some times, writing long stories. I have to … it’s part of being me. You don’t need to tell me … I already know. I don’t do it all the time … only when … it’s important.

 

 

Photo/story owned … written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Photo is of the only tattoo I most likely will ever have … in memory of my son, Tommy. He loved dragonflies … dragonflies show up in my life at the oddest times.

 

 

My Tommy Dragonfly Tattoo created for me by Jason Wilkins at Revelation Ink & Piercings … his new shop will open in early March 2016 in Raleigh, NC (Wakefield area).  Until then, you will find him at his shop in Louisburg, NC at Dystink’d Tattoo.

 

 

I Don’t Agree With Lotus Birthing … I’ll Tell You Why


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



 

I was watching The Doctors this morning.  I watched about having babies … naturally.  Not only that … leaving the cord/placenta attached to the baby … letting it ‘rot’ off the baby naturally.

The placenta is laid aside with the cord leading to the newborn baby‘s belly … where it begins to decay.  The woman sprinkled flower petals, and such to … keep down the smell.

Why was this done?  To make sure the baby gets all the blood … ‘for a greater transfer of iron- and oxygen-rich blood to the newborn baby’.  The cord can stay attached upwards to three to ten days.

Can you imagine each time changing a baby’s diaper having to move the placenta all around to do it?  Work around it to care for the baby?

It’s called ‘lotus birth‘.  ‘A new trend in natural birthing methods strives to ease a baby’s transition into the world by not detaching the cord and placenta immediately following birth.’

I copied/pasted several things here in quotation marks to share.  The link to all this is:  http://www.treehugger.com/family/lotus-birth-advocates-leave-umbilical-cord-attached-newborn-babies.html

I was listening to the doctors talk about doing this.  They didn’t seem to agree on this way of birthing. Infection, death of  baby could happen … not counting the ‘dead’ placenta laying around.

I listened because they also, discussed something else … that could cause serious life-threatening complications for a mother in labor.  In fact, I thought of myself when I had my only child … I had complications … would have died in childbirth … baby, too.

You can read for yourself to decide what you think.  I know back when I had my baby … it would have spelled doom for me and unborn baby.  No two births are alike.

A nurse told me to shut up … I didn’t know how to have a baby … I was a baby, myself. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Note by this Author:

When I had my child … I carried him for 10 months … my labor was induced on a Monday on November 17th … I suffered until the morning of November 20th at 11:28 am… when they seemed to have a hard time deciding to make me have my child … or take it.

They made me have my baby.  He was a big baby … I had many stitches.  I went through total Hell to have my child … so, did my baby … his head, face had bruises all over from the forceps to pull him.

I don’t think the ‘lotus birthing naturally ‘ … would have been a good thing for mothers in the same situation I … as a young mother … was in.  Death would have been certain.  I couldn’t have had a child … naturally.

This author chose never to have other children because of the God-awful experience of having the one, only child she had.  Not only that … at the time I was in the room in labor I was holding my pain, crying so, I wouldn’t make a noise … when it became impossible to hold back cries … a nurse told me to ‘shut up because I would upset the other women in labor’.

My hands had bite marks on them … I was terrified … no one told me anything about how … to have a baby … I was a young girl.  If I hadn’t had medical help … I’d died in childbirth … so, would have my baby.  Not all childbirths are easy …

Photo/true story … and what I wrote about from watching The Doctors in my words … owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Death is Walking Near …


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

Eyes closed, head pressed against my hands

 

Cold fingers caress my forehead

 

Emotion wells up inside my Heart

 

I hear the cold wind blowing, wind chimes ringing

 

I feel afraid … why?  I feel so small in this big world

 

Tears flow down my cheeks … clouds squeezing out raindrops

 

Why am I crying … why am I afraid … sad?

 

Death is walking near … I feel him ever so often

 

I pray with my Heart for him to go away

 

Please don’t touch my world anymore

 

You’ve taken everyone who meant the world to me

 

Please go away … I need what I have left

 

So, I can live, not be alone in this big, cold world

 

Sitting here, I wring my hands … I hear my dog howl

 

From the bedroom down the hall … did he sense something

 

Did he feel Death was walking close to us?

 

I pray my Lord to keep us safe, sound

 

Please don’t let Death enter my world … they’re all I have

 

I have my husband, our two Pups

 

I sit here with my head in my hands

 

I’m crying deep down in my soul … am I grieving

 

For my son … or am I just sad … why am I crying

 

Crying as my thoughts go through the walls to outside

 

To ride on the wind as they blow the wind chimes

 

They ring as I look about me … in the night

 

In the night light … trees sway … it’s so cold

 

Is Death coming for me … is that why I’m afraid

 

Why I’m sad … why I cry … do I sense something

 

Did my dog?  I don’t want to die either

 

I haven’t finished my living yet … I need more time

 

I find myself holding my hands to my Heart

 

My chin resting upon them … my eyes closed

 

I have a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach

 

Why?  I know everything will be all right

 

So … why am I crying … why am I sad, feel so down?

 

I become aware of the chimes ringing louder

 

The wind is blowing harder

 

I get up to go look out my window

 

I relax as I stand looking out … snowflakes!

 

The wind is blowing snowflakes from Heaven!

 

A smile comes to my lips … inside my Heart

 

I feel Life soar inside me … as Death goes away

 

Leaving me, my world alone for another time

 

I thank God from my Heart … for now, I’m not alone

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

I woke up at 2:00 am this morning, couldn’t go back to sleep.  Thoughts of things that slightly upset me were on my mind.  I can’t seem to shake them … make them go away.

 

I couldn’t lay in bed with such turmoil going on inside me … it was like a boat trying to float under water.  I just couldn’t do it.  I know you’ve had those times when you couldn’t just lay in a bed with so much going on in your mind.

 

I got up, came to my computer, began to write to make my sadness, yes … even some anger, fears go away.  I’ve written many words this morning to put distance between me … what makes me upset, afraid.

 

I still have a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach … I must have more words to write to make it go away.

 

Thoughts, photo written, owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.+

I Had to Die Twice to … Rest in Peace


 

 

 

I Had to Die Twice to … Rest in Peace

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Look at them standing there … he’s smoking a cigarette … I smell the smoke all the way to here. She’s laughing, flirting … her hands fluff her hair, lifting it from her shoulders.  She shakes it out, lets it fall back on her shoulders.  She is pretty … but, … can’t she do this somewhere besides … here.  Besides … that man is married to her sister.  Trash!

 

 

I move over to where I hear giggling.  Darn those old-ass women!  They are gossiping up a storm … here!  Where are their manners … they are old enough to know better.

 

 

People standing by the coffin … looking in.  I hear someone say, “she doesn’t look like herself, does she?”  Too much make-up … her hair isn’t fixed like she normally wore it.  Darn them!  Who are they to stand there, say such things.  Do they think they will look perfect when they die?  How do they know how they are going to be made up for viewing.  Damn them!  It’s enough to bring someone back from the dead!

 

 

I raise myself up out of the coffin … glaring at the people who stood there.  Eyes grew big, skin paled. They didn’t know what to think … they went instantly into shock.  I grinned at them … not in a nice way, either!  I made an evil grin, they deserved it!

 

 

“I’m not dead!  I was but, you made me so angry that I couldn’t rest in peace!  The next time I die, I will die in private … I will be cremated  I don’t want any of you to come around me living, much less dead!”

 

 

“You come to party at my funeral!  You laugh, you play, you gossip, you eat … you try to go with someone’s husband!  You can all go home … I’m not dying now … not until I can die in peace, in private … not have no one at my funeral!”

 

 

“If I want to smell smoke … it won’t be from a darn cigarette … it’ll be from my body burning into ashes.  Now, go!  I’m not going to lay here dead while you have fun at my funeral!  I can’t even die in peace.”

 

 

One by one … each one of the people filed out through the door of the room my casket sat in.  I crawled over the side … looked inside the coffin at the white lacy fabric … sure was pretty.  I still smelled smoke from the man whose sister-in-law flirted with him.  Trash!  Not at my funeral!

 

 

Served them right … let them all go home without the satisfaction of standing at my graveside shedding crocodile tears … let the crocodile bite everyone of them in the butt!

 

I looked across the room … at a lone figure sitting on the upholstered couch.  Why, it was my husband.  He wasn’t aware of all that had transpired in the room my body had laid in.  He was in shock … no one had cared.  No one had walked to him, sat beside him to comfort him.  Shame on them!

 

 

I walked to the couch … I sat down beside him … put my arms around him.  His eyes were closed in grief … he wouldn’t look to see who was there.  I took my hand, patted him on his cheek like I always did … he began to open his eyes.

 

 

As he became aware of me sitting there … he cried out!  My darling!  You’ve come back!  I smiled at him and he held me tightly.  I stood up, took him by the hand … led him past the owners of the funeral home.  I’m sure they thought they were witnessing a paranormal event … but, I was the real thing.  I wasn’t ready to stay dead.

 

 

We got into the car, drove home.  We lived many years happily until I got ready to die again.  This time … no funeral.  I was cremated … no false people pretending to be friends, family.  My husband took my ashes home to comfort him.  I was at peace finally … I had to die twice to … rest in peace.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

Today we drove by a funeral home … I saw people standing in their little groups … laughing, socializing, smoking … a woman in a mini-skirt, flirting with a man.  I sat watching while we waited for the light to change.

 

I don’t mind seeing this at someone else’s funeral.  But … not my funeral.

 

I’m going to be cremated … no one will be welcomed to come view me excepting my husband, Skip.  No one is going to laugh, have a party while I lay dead anywhere.  Besides … when I sleep I don’t let people come to view me … why would I let them come to view me when I go to sleep … forever?

 

Through time I have paid attention to how people act … a lot of them come to the home of the deceased to eat all their stomachs can hold … smiling, laughing all the while.  When they leave, they carry their little paper plates all wrapped in plastic with them … to have a snack that night.

 

I know this is normal for many people … I don’t knock it.  But … I’ve never done that at someone’s funeral … I cared about ‘why’ I came to either the funeral home … or the actual home of the deceased.  I understand that everyone has different customs when their loved ones die … everyone respects that deceased person’s wishes.  I truly respect others and their customs even if I prefer different.

 

My wishes when I die are that I’m taken directly to be cremated … no viewing.  Only my husband can see me … if my son was still living … he could have been there.  My ashes will be put in a modest container/urn … not expensive … taken home where … I can rest in peace.

 

Do you know what you want when you die?  Do you want everyone to gather around your body, smiling and laughing … talking?  Some people find comfort in that … that’s good for them … not for me.  I’d hate to get back up only to … have to do it all over again.

 

This is really what I think … true thoughts only with some humor (sick humor?) …. because the subject is so serious.  It’s not funny, but yet … we have to use humor to tell something that makes us afraid.  It’s sometimes, easier to talk about such things in a gentle, humorous way … all the while being very serious.

 

Story/photo written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

To Know We Have Righted All Things Wrong …


 

 

 

 

To Know We Have Righted All Things Wrong …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

Bodies swaying as they danced

In beat to the music playing

Eyes closed … in another world

 

 

Hand in hand, bodies close

In sync, perfect rhythm

Each body knows what the other wants

 

 

A step here, a dip there

Bodies coming back to touch

Tightly to one another, never missing a step

 

 

Love is in the air warming it in its glow

Two bodies loving one another

In every move they make

 

 

Becoming one, blossoming into two

Once again … two have become one

Never wanting to leave the other’s side

Love forming a lifetime bond

Soulmates finding each other

Perfect for no one else, perfect for them

Love … like a soft glowing fireplace

Softly burning colors of red, orange, yellow

Warming one to the soul

 

 

Emotion filling each Heart

With a deep caring so much it hurts

Lay your head on my shoulder he says

 

 

Rest your mind knowing I’ll protect, love you

Trust in me for I’ll never hurt you

Never will I let you go

 

 

Laying her head on his shoulder

Closing her eyes in trust

Believing in him … that was thirty-two years ago

 

 

Bond unbreakable, lasting a lifetime

Being young … getting old

What happens if one loses the other

 

 

Like a faded rose and stem separated

Leaves fall off in sickness

The rose fades until … it fades away

 

 

The beauty of love through time

Everlasting … sadly there’s an end

Nothing can change it when its time to go

 

 

Is that all we come to when we grow older

To lose our beauty our spunk in life

To leave our loved one behind?

 

 

We come to an end through sickness, death

Leaving our soulmate behind to grieve

Isn’t it sad to know the beginning is just the end

 

 

Loving until we die …  no chance to practice

The things we learned life

No chance to do things over, make things right

 

 

Make things right where we went wrong

As a younger person … never getting to say I’m sorry

To re-do things so, our minds could rest

 

 

Rest until the day we have to take our last breath

Have to go … go knowing we did all things right

Leaving nothing undone

 

 

Couldn’t we all go to our graves

Knowing we righted all wrongs

To make all right before we died

 

 

That would be the ultimate to carry with us

Into the ever after

To know we have righted all things … wrong

 

Note by this Author:

 

I look around me … look at myself, Skip … I see us growing older.  I see others growing older.  Like many before me, I ask where did time go?  We think we got forever … forever comes quickly.  I think of so much I have wanted to do, say … never will get to do but, try to say.

I notice that at times I feel panicky.  I become afraid.  I worry about death because in my mind … Tommy died so, that means ‘anyone could die’ if he did. I have been to the door of Death … somehow, managed to escape it several times in my life.

I keep seeing a friend of ours in my mind.  We lived next to him.  I watched him worry about dying.  He had emphysema, was on oxygen.  When he’d see an ambulance come to pick someone up in the neighbor-hood he would walk outside, stand watching.  He never knew I saw the fear of dying on his face.

When he lay dying, his wife began calling my name.  I heard her, ran to their house.  I went to the bedroom, saw him already ‘in another world’ … I went to him speaking softly, took his hand.

I talked quietly to him telling him he was loved, and everything was going to be alright.  The EMS guys came in, I walked out of the room.  I was with him when he took his last breath.  I went to his wife, held her as she cried.  My Heart was breaking.

Later … I watched her go downhill.  She made her home into a tomb … no sounds whatsoever.  When I’d go knock on the door I would see her sitting through the window.  Her life, her smile and energy ebbed away.  Her soulmate had died … she had died inside … she was waiting for her body to catch up.  She died soon-after … on the path of dementia, then death.

I loved those people.  They were elderly.  I learned by watching how sad it is when one of them died … how the other grieved.  I cared with my Heart only I couldn’t get to her to please be alright … please keep her beautiful energy, smile.  She faded away … no one could stop her.  Just as a cut flower dies … she did.

The thought came to my mind … is that all we come to after going through so much in life, learning so many lessons?  We just die and … that’s it … the end?  Isn’t it sad?

Skip and I are best friends, soulmates … he and our Pups are my whole world.  Yes, sometimes … I become afraid … no matter how old we get … we always wish to live forever never leaving the ones we love.

Photos/poem owned/written by me …. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Two Urns Sit Side by Side … Forgotten


Two Urns Sit Side by Side … Forgotten

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

 

Driving down the road in an old car

Sat two elderly people, man … woman

Hand in hand … singing to a melody

Eyes twinkling with pure happiness

In love as they’d been since the day they married

Soulmates, lovers, best friends for life

The man could sing along in harmony

She could sing … but, not in tune

Didn’t matter … they were doing it together

As they did most all things

Where one usually was … the other was close by

Some day it would all come to an end

Sometimes, they worried for the other

Sometimes … they felt afraid

Growing old is sad … beginning to the end

Life … is living from birth to death

Being young … growing old

Learning to walk to hardly walking

Young child … old child

No one’s ever lived forever

Only forever as they possibly could

They began to laugh when she sang off-key

She didn’t care … it was a joy to sing

From her very Heart … she never missed a beat

Both rode down the road, laughing … singing

To their heart’s content

Knowing one day it all would come to an end

They would be only memories blowing in the wind

No one would miss them in this big, old world

No one was left who would care

For now, they would live as hard as they could

Enjoy life to its end … come what may

For now, they would laugh to keep from crying

Over life they couldn’t always live

When one goes, the other would be left with memories

To hold onto … sounds of laughter, joy

Joy of living life, loving each other always

Sadness at being alone … panic with the knowledge

Of not being able to see each other again

Tears, many tears because life can’t ever be the same

Fear of being alone … at the mercy of the world

What can the one left do … oh what can they do?

Pray that the world will care about them

Treat them kindly, protect them until the day

The day they too, must go

Leaving behind for anyone to see

To hold in their hands

A photo, book or two … to show they’d been here, too

No family, loved ones who cared

Who gave love while they lived

Nothing left behind to give to them

To leave in memory that they lived

No one to care … so, they didn’t care

To leave anything behind to remind them

Life is life … death is death

It is the beginning … the end

Ashes to ashes … two urns sit side by side

Two urns no one cares about

Only the thought as the last one dies

Who will end up with our ashes

Will they sit on a shelf, end up in a sale

No one to treasure the remains

Of two people who lived, loved, died

The first one died knowing the other would

Keep their ashes close to their hearts

The last one died with sadness …

No one left to care about their ashes

Wondering if their urn would be placed

Beside the other’s urn … who is going to care?

Ashes to ashes … two urns forgotten

Sitting in a dark room, side by side

No one could see … the loving glow surrounding them

Love after death … one prays their urns

Would always be kept side by side

Where they belonged just as they did when living

Listen … one can hear someone singing

Maybe it’s two … the woman’s voice is out of tune

Didn’t matter … they sang in harmony

Two urns sit side by side … forgotten

Reflecting love in the darkness

That even Death couldn’t extinguish

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

Photo/poem written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Poem written as I sat … thought about my life.  Life is really the way it is … no more … no less.

It’s sad when a grandmother can’t ever know her grandchildren … it’s sad that she can’t ever leave anything to either when it’s her time to go.  Life is what it is … no more … no less.

We Become a Memory as We Move On …


We Become a Memory as We Move On …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

On the porch sat an old woman

A smile played on her face

Her eyes were looking inward

At memories from days gone by

She was a faded rose

Once she was a rose of all roses

Looking at her now … one could see

She had been beautiful in her time

Her soft smile used to win many a heart

Today, her smile was kind, soft

Her slender body graceful, fragile

She walked slower now

A tear fell on her cheek

Another one followed

Then … one more

She met up with a memory

That made her sad

Soon … she was smiling again

She rose from the swing she sat in

It was time to go inside

Tomorrow she would come back out

To sit in her swing

Play with her memories once again

As she did each day

She knew she’d be going home soon

How she knew she did not know

She knew she was ready to go

There was no longer a need for her now

In with the new … out with the old

To make room for the young, the old must go

That night she fell asleep with a smile on her face

She went from life to death peacefully

To the other world where she was welcomed

All her loved ones greeted her with open arms

She held her arms out to embrace them

These were the memories in her mind

She sat in the swing smiling about

Now … she had become a memory

In with the young … out with the old

People go to make room

For others to follow in their place

We become memories as they make their own

We die so that they can live

Generation after generation

We become a memory as we move on

 

 

Note by this Author:

Poem/photo written, owned by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

Reality is … one day we have to die.  We have no choice … one day we … become a memory.

She Died Be-Bopping … to the Music in Her Head


She Died Be-Bopping … to the Music in Her Head
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

Photo of light in a bottle our friend made for us … I love this bottle .. so comforting …
This medicine has the potential to kill your ass.  It can make you sweat, groan, moan … have diarrhea that will dehydrate your body until you have nothing left in you.
Not only that, side effects are:  uneven walking, flopping your gums and arms at the same time, sneezing, coughing up blood, risk of heart attack, stroke … cancer.  It can cause memory loss, crossed eyes … saliva to drool from your mouth.
Feeling sleepy, faint, heart beating too fast, shallow breathing … she had just taken her medicine 30 minutes earlier … no, she wasn’t feeling well at all.  That’s why she took her medicine … she never thought to question it.
She always took her medicine faithfully twice a day … to make her feel better.  She never associated the medicine pulling her down, causing her to feel bad, be sick every day of her life.
Each time she went to the doctor he would prescribe her several more bottles of medicine.  Like a good girl … she would get her prescriptions filled, bring her medicine home … place it on the table along side the many other bottles of medicine she took … every day.
She had all her 40 bottles of medicine lined up in rows.  This row of medicine would help her heart … this row of medicine would take care of all her pain … this row of medicine would stop the bleeding in her stomach … this row ……………… it went on and on.
The doctor kept prescribing her medicine, never bothering to ask her for a list of the medicines she was ………………. currently taking.  He just assumed she was intelligent enough to know when he gave her medicine … she would know what to do.
What dumb ass would still take … all the medicines … the doctor ever prescribed her?  He never gave it any thought.
She knew what to do, all right.  She took her pills from each bottle … twice a day never knowing the toxic effect all was having on her.
One morning, she got up … ate her breakfast, began lining all her pills up on the table.  She had an extra-big glass of water ready to help her as she swallowed those pills.
Feeling nauseous, she began to stagger to the bathroom to vomit.  She never made it.  She fell onto the kitchen floor … blood seeping out of her eyes, ears, and mouth.  Her eyes stared vacantly into the distance … she was dying.
She was dying to the music in her head … the music on a commercial she always paid attention to … it advertised the very medicine she had just took.  She could hear the man’s voice listing the side effects of the medicine … she died as she moved her head in rhythm to the music.  It had such a catchy little tune …
When all was said, done … it was determined the woman killed herself taking all that medicine.  Why would anyone in their sane mind do such a thing?  Why?  There’s no way anyone would intentionally take that many bottles of medicine unless … it was suicide.
The woman never knew she should use her judgement, put away some medicines as others replaced them.  She only knew to be a good girl, take all her medicine just like the doctor told her.  She died be-bopping to the music in her head.  Such a catchy little tune.
Note by this Author:
So many people take many medicines … never thinking about the dire consequences.  As medicines are prescribed to them … they just simply place the new bottles with the old.
When it comes times to take prescribed medicine … they just simply take one, two pills from each bottle … doesn’t matter how many bottles there are.  They just know the doctor prescribed it, and it was their medicine, and they are damn sure to take it.
They never have the foresight to know … they aren’t supposed to do that.  If only they would know to question their doctor … update their medicines ever so often … at least once, twice a year.  Truly every time a new medicine is prescribed.
God help the patient who takes their medicines … and later take their ‘recreational’ medicines … drugs they purchase elsewhere.  This really happens … you see people take their medicines, plus … not only that … drink alcohol.  They never have a chance.
All photos/ written words are owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  I’ve grown up with such as I have written.
I watched it as a little girl … I grew up with a healthy fear of medicines, drugs … so much in fact, when I went through major surgeries … I fought against the pain medicines while in the hospital, recovering at home.
I was so afraid I would become addicted to the medicines that could help me … and have to depend on them for life.
Isn’t it sad?  I still have a hard time … with medicines.  I’m always making sure I don’t take very much.  The first medicines I ever saw was on a little night table by my Grandma Alma’s bed.
So-oooo many bottles … I always was afraid she’d die if she didn’t have them.  Every time she was carried to the hospital, to the doctor … more bottles would appear.  So-oooooooooo many bottles …

Past Forever …


Past Forever …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

Two hands … clasped together

In binding love that lasted forever

Forever was here now

One just left, shortly after … the other

In a golden shower of soft light

Two souls began to rise

From two bodies that lay close

On the bed they shared … forever

The very air felt special, magical

One didn’t feel someone just died

It was more a celebration of freedom

From the two old, wrinkled … worn bodies

Peace was left on the faces of the deceased

One would swear both were smiling

Glad to be gone from this world

This world that was good … bad

They lived a full life … happy, sad

They lived forever keeping their promise

Made many years ago

I love you I do … I’ll always be there for you

When death do us part

Life will never keep us … apart

When you go I will go too

I love you darling … when you go I will follow you

Golden light faded to a soft glow

Two loves traveled to the other side

Hand in hand past forever

In life never apart … when death came

They held hands, held on to the other

Where you go … I will follow you

We are together past forever

Like stars and sky … woven together

We are threads woven into fabric

Of the other side … the ever-after

Few of the many before us

We’ll be many when the few come

After us, when others go past forever

Repeating over, and over … to the ever-after

After us, when others go … past forever

Note by this Author:  Photo/poem are owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

I wish I could write what I feel in more beautiful words than I know … I feel so much more than I can say.

It’s Good To Be Back Home …


It’s Good To Be Back Home …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … 2014

 

Standing on the threshold … one foot in the door

Death reached out its dark hand to pull me in

I’m here to escort you home … come in

Looking past him, into a void

Shadows everywhere … no sunshine, here

Flames began to leap, trying to burn my soul

I’m at the door of Hell … this isn’t where I belong

At the wrong door, I’m almost too weak

To try to go to the right door … where I belong

I’m not perfect, I’m not bad … I’m a good person

I don’t belong in Hell … I’m not staying here

Poof! My soul takes off in flight … I land on another step

In front of it, was another door … a door made of gold

I know instantly I’m where I belong

Heaven’s door … knock, knock … open the door

The door opened … golden light spilled out onto me

Warming my very soul … let me in, this is where I want to go

The angel of white … reached out to take my hand

She had a welcoming smile on her beautiful face

Her wings fluttered gently, creating a soft breeze

This is where I want to go … I see white figures walking around

I reached for her hand, I knew this was where I belonged

No matter, I wasn’t perfect … only as good as I could possibly be

As soon as she took my hand … she became still

It’s not time for you to come home, she said

Though, you do belong here in Heaven

No matter, you aren’t perfect … you’re good as you can be

You have to go back, now … you have a purpose

It’s up to you to find, know what it is you have to do

Stay good as you can possibly be …

So, you can come back to Heaven’s door … take my hand

Let me welcome you to Heaven, where you belong

Go, now … you can’t come home yet … one day you can

Poof!  I open my eyes to see … I’m in a hospital room

I hear people talking, see them standing over me

I smile up at them … it’s good to be back home!

 

 

Poem, photo … both are owned (written) by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee