http://happycolorsandgrannygee.blogspot.com
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I am going to write only on my Primary Blog for a while : http://happycolorsandgrannygee.blogspot.com
I hope you will come to visit me there. I will look for you.
Gloria/aka Granny Gee
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter/Facebook.com/grannygee
Bottles of water … Jugs of water … photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates
We have to buy our water as do a lot of people around where we live. So, I’m always opening a plastic bottle of water … or a jug of water.
I’m thankful to have water that’s good to drink … to bathe in … to cook with … to wash with . It means the very world to us. So, I never waste it … not even one drop if possible.
I caught myself … trying to get the last drop of water from a plastic bottle yesterday. I became aware of myself letting the water flow from the bottle into the coffeemaker … holding the bottle up once it emptied … to see ‘just a little bit’ of water left in the bottle.
I turned the bottle upside down once more … let the water run into the reservoir. I turned the bottle upright … there was ‘just a bit more water’ in the bottom of the bottle. I turned the bottle upside down once more … let the water drain out.
Letting the last drop flow from the plastic bottle … I turned it back up … getting the idea if it possible to … pour the last drop from the bottle. I turned it upside down once more … another drop flowed out of the bottle! This made me wonder … is there a last drop?
As I went to throw the bottle into a special bag I use for plastic … a quick thought came to my mind … ‘suppose my life was at stake … and it depended on whether a ‘last drop’ of water came of this now empty bottle … you know … you die if a last drop comes out … live if no drop comes out! I feel the panic … am I going to live … am I going to die!?
I unscrewed the lid back off … looked at the bottom of the bottom thinking … it’s now or never! If a drop of water comes out … I die!
I was into my game! Please, please … I don’t want to die! Please don’t let a drop of water come out! I held the bottle above my mouth …
Waited …
At the very second I thought I was going to live … I felt a cold drop of water fall to my tongue! I fell over … dead!
Is there ever a last drop?
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Imagination can feel real when we play a game … especially a ‘live or die’ game … adrenaline begins to pump 🙂 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Note by this Author …
Photo/story for entertainment … owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter/Facebook.com/grannygee
We have to buy water for us, our Pups to drink. We can’t drink water from the tap.
To All My Family, Friends Here on Facebook … this is truly how I feel and think. You all can ‘let go’ of me and go your own way if you don’t really like, want to be … real.
I can’t let you continue to sit here on my Facebook couch in my Facebook living room while you munch your Facebook chips … you hurt me being here, never speaking. I wonder ‘who do you think you are?’ I’ve let you sit here for several years … it stops today. Go on about your own life, business …
Today … I’m doing the same … I’m letting go of people whom I can’t bear to have here anymore … I ‘let go’ in a good way. I’ll never stop loving, caring … but, I won’t allow you back in my life … not this Life.
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Last night … sadly … I took off another ‘family member’ here on my Facebook. I’m not going to be … belittled … or have my jewelry pointed out to make me look bad … because someone wants to hurt me.
She isn’t the first one to be like this … what she doesn’t realize … it’s all I’ve got … she has every thing in life … why would she be jealous of jewelry from … days gone by.
She never knew me all these years … I would never-ever be close to her … then, I made the mistake in my ‘old age’ … no more.
You can’t hope to have people love you when all those years have gone by. So, people who I only feel grief … pain … from …. today, I’m letting you go.
This doesn’t mean you aren’t a good person in your life … I know you must be. In my life … you aren’t healthy for me … I have to … let you go. I can’t go on with unhappy feelings built up in me … so, you are gone after today … know I love, respect you … but, you have to get out of my life … return to your own.
We may be related … but, we aren’t good … healthy for the other. We were taught too much hate, anger, ugliness as children … I’ve lived my life without this all these years until after Tommy died … then, you all appeared.
I’m sure you meant well … they always do … but, that natural hate, distrust, ugliness rears its head. I am cutting the head off today. Don’t bother me anymore … I have enough grief … pain in my Heart. I won’t let you add anymore by snubbing me on my Facebook page when it was an honor for me to let you be here.
I know you are trying to keep up with me … maybe I’ll get famous writing? Hear this … I won’t ever get famous writing … I am a mediocre writer … I love to write, can’t stop writing … don’t think I’ll get famous from it. It won’t happen.
So now … I’ve told you … you can go happily your way and be happy your cousin, sister, whatever isn’t going to do anything with her writing. Oh… that goes for some ‘friends’ on Facebook also, that make me feel bad for me allowing you to come here as a friend … and you just …. sit there. You don’t know me … it was a lot of thought … and caring to make me let you be here … in my Life. It is with a lot of love, caring that today … I let you go. I wish you well, only good things in life.
Only my friends, and less than the fingers on my hand in Family, remain here… today … They never hurt me… I feel good with them here even if they don’t speak. I sense no anger, hatred, jealousy of me … one more thing while I’m at it … I’m broke, I have nothing … life is very hard for Skip and I financially … the worse ever … so, I’m nobody … I’m not rich, famous … I’m only what you see, read … I’m Gloria … I’m all I’ve got excepting my whole world … Skip and the Pups. See, now …. ‘friends’ and ‘family’ alike … you can go your way … now.
I can’t gain you anything … I can’t add anything to your life only … words, love. You can’t hold them in your hands … you feel, read. I give them freely … so know, you are wasting your time on being friends with me if … you expect more than that.
Yes, my jewelry is expensive, beautiful jewelry … they are from a day when it could be afforded … each piece was given to me when I survived something in my life … or accomplished something really … big … for me.
When I die, I leave Skip the option to do whatever he wants to do with them. If I live longer, I will leave them to whomever is in my Life that I … truly love. Hopefully, to my granddaughter, grandson. So, there’s nothing to be gained here. I’m just … nothing … but when saying that … I really am … something. You just don’t have to agree … no one does … I know what I am … it took all these years to … know myself.
No matter I’m not perfect … I’ve been on wrong roads in life …. made mistakes … as soon as I learned the hard way … I became a better person. Unlike a lot of people who kept going down those ‘bad’ paths … I chose not to.
It’s a wonder with the way I was raised … it’s a wonder I wasn’t one … big, badass … ruthless, mean ugly… as a young person I was full of hate, anger. I was on the road to be just that. Love was in me … goodness was in me … it was bigger than bad … that’s what happened to me.
Another thing … some of my family think they can hurt me by ‘telling everyone’ my mistakes … it doesn’t matter. All I will do is write now … what I don’t write about … instead of waiting ‘one day’.
I will never let my family … blackmail me … never. I will hold my ground any day even if it means losing every ‘friend’ I have … I won’t let anyone cower me through blackmail like I’ve watched through the years … watched the anguish …. crying because one’s sister, cousin … was going to ‘tell everything on them’ if they didn’t do this or that. Hell no … no blackmail here … I’m strong enough to bear it. I didn’t weather all these awful storms in my life … for nothing. I will say this … look in your own backyard, first.
Getting back to my jewelry … One of my diamond rings … Skip gave to me when I made it … survived cancer, lived. I lived … to have that special ring. It was what he could afford in 2000 when he was fleet manager in a company in Raleigh. He got that beautiful ring for me.
I had a family member watch yesterday here at all the Happy Birthdays I got … then the photos I used to ‘speak back’ to you all … one is in my profile photo.
She made a remark about …. ‘your sapphire is a killer’ … that was to point out to everyone that I had expensive rings.
The big ring with the purple stone is my birthstone ring with diamonds … amethyst … Skip bought that for me … when I accomplished going to truck driving school to drive with him … after working in an office. I did something!smile emoticon I earned that ring …
I made it through truck-driving school … then went on to drive 3 years out west to California, and Washington State, Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, Montana … I could keep naming them … all those real mountains! I did something … for a woman. I was proud. I earned it. It’s an amethyst with diamonds … not a ‘killer’ sapphire ring.
Anyway … I am taking all … ‘family’ off my Facebook, group … excepting several people I love, care about that are related to me … they are like me in that they are private people … they ‘know our family’ … you can’t get close to anyone.
Jealousy, natural hate will rear its ugly head every time … and if you don’t do what they want … it’s blackmail time. I will say this … in all my writing I’ve let all my friends … readers know that I’m not perfect, never have been … never will be … Granny Gee is the name my son gave me for a beautiful little boy to grow up knowing his grandma by … I use it in my writing to keep the name alive.
Goodbye to all of you that … I ‘let go’ of today. I do it with love, not anger. I do it so, I can be mentally healthier … so can you. It’s not healthy for your mind if you dwell on me, hate me … not like me.
I’m nobody to you even being related. Just remember when I allowed you on my Facebook that as each individual person … I felt … hoped … prayed there would be some kind of real connection.
Sadly, it wasn’t … some of you have sat here on my Facebook couch in my Facebook living room … while you munched your Facebook potato chips watching me, judging me … never speaking one word.
I speak one word to you …. ‘Goodbye’.
The photo used here is the one with the ‘sapphire killer ring’. It’s simply my birthstone ring I earned when going to truck driving school. Am I supposed to quit wearing my treasured, meaningful jewelry from my husband through the years … because we are experiencing … hard times?
Well, I won’t stop … through time I’ve sold all my jewelry … these are the pieces I have left. I keep them because each one holds the deepest of meaning.
I Need a Direction to go in … Is there a Map to Where I Need to Go?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Skip and I am on a new path in life … like a train switching tracks to go in another direction. Only … there’s no information, manual to tell us which direction to go … at the moment it wouldn’t do any good … our tracks have switched and we are traveling ahead … to where … I don’t know.
We are almost out of control … racing ahead to … where? At the moment I am telling Skip that we will take one day at a time … cross each hurdle as we come to it, everything is going to be alright. He listens … and wonders … how are we going to live in the meantime? I become quiet … I don’t know what to say. I’ve never … been here … on this road before.
We are listening, grasping at any, all information we are getting to make eventually make decisions as to what to do … but, there’s a lot that we have to figure out. We have no idea … which way to go … yet. We will find it … one way or other.
Our whole life as we know it … has changed. Why am I writing about it? Because … I know other people have gone through this before us … and I’ve not seen how any of them went on to survive … getting older, having to go somewhere to ask for help … medical conditions … just what in the world to do.
I remember when working in the hospital … with patients. We were told that not only are patients very sick when in the hospital … no one knows the fear, stress they are going through because … of no income to pay bills, to live … they are afraid of what is going to happen to them. The fear of not knowing.
I remember caring so much … as I listened to the very things … that we are faced with now. Isn’t it amazing? We’ve become … ‘old’ … have many health conditions … and no income.
Now … I know what ‘they’ meant … I am yet again learning about things in life that I didn’t know personally … I’m on another road. I had just gotten back on my old, familiar road at the end of December when I was told my knee cap, and fibula had healed beautifully. My old, familiar road ended on Friday, January 8, 2016. This new road is scary …
I am spinning in a circle at the moment. Skip is in the hospital facing something new. You can’t believe the stress, yes … even fear of knowing that to live … you have to make decisions to do something you are afraid to do … the unknown.
We are facing many unknowns at the moment. What does one do? Where do they go? Who cares? Who to talk to? Is there a manual that exists somewhere on what to do when you can’t retire as you once hoped to … and you are completely out of resources?
We have lost everything several times in our life due to when we both battled cancer … and I won’t even go into everything that’s happened. I won’t waste time as it can’t help ‘now’ writing about all of those things. So now … when ‘older’ … we don’t have those valuable resources we were told to have as young people for when aging … getting ‘old’.
At this moment … I tell young people to put more up for when getting ‘old’ so, you’ll have something to fall back on. I know it’s almost impossible to do that … life can take it all at an instance. Just be aware, have a plan as you grow older … have a direction.
Don’t think you are so young you have … forever … before doing anything. You don’t. If you make that mistake … my words will come to mind. Life goes fast … why we got ‘old’ before we knew it. It felt strange to hear someone call us the ‘older couple’. What felt ‘bad’ at first … was a cashier to automatically begin giving us … senior discounts! That was a sign to us that we are ‘old’.
You have no idea of what one goes through to accept becoming a senior citizen … losing one’s looks, seeing the changes when aging. People age in different ways. They grieve for the loss of their youth.
I was one who grieved in a deep way for my youth … I lost it during the time I grieved for the loss of my child. When I began to see myself in the mirror … I didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me. I couldn’t look again for long periods of time … I couldn’t take it. I had lost my only child … and I had lost … myself.
We owe so many medical bills it’s pathetic … they won’t ever get paid. We are people who have tried not to take from others … not ask for help … go without and not let others know. We have always been ‘givers’ even when at lots of times we didn’t ‘have it’ to give. I mean … who are we to ask someone for help … we aren’t anything to anyone.
I am voicing some of what is going through my mind as I am sitting here thinking. I am not asking anyone for anything … or asking for sympathy. I am sitting here … wondering … what in the world do I do … now?
How can I help us in a positive, good way? Are there maps to where I need to go … directions to know which roads to turn on to take instead of going in a circle forever … not getting anywhere, wasting valuable time?
Are there maps to where I need to go? If it were only me … I would spin on out of control and just let go. It isn’t just me … I need to find answers quickly as possible. I need a direction to go in.
Note by this Author:
True thoughts on my mind this morning as I wait. I don’t know any answers to my questions … that means I don’t know what to do … yet.
Photo/story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I Had to Die Twice to … Rest in Peace
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Look at them standing there … he’s smoking a cigarette … I smell the smoke all the way to here. She’s laughing, flirting … her hands fluff her hair, lifting it from her shoulders. She shakes it out, lets it fall back on her shoulders. She is pretty … but, … can’t she do this somewhere besides … here. Besides … that man is married to her sister. Trash!
I move over to where I hear giggling. Darn those old-ass women! They are gossiping up a storm … here! Where are their manners … they are old enough to know better.
People standing by the coffin … looking in. I hear someone say, “she doesn’t look like herself, does she?” Too much make-up … her hair isn’t fixed like she normally wore it. Darn them! Who are they to stand there, say such things. Do they think they will look perfect when they die? How do they know how they are going to be made up for viewing. Damn them! It’s enough to bring someone back from the dead!
I raise myself up out of the coffin … glaring at the people who stood there. Eyes grew big, skin paled. They didn’t know what to think … they went instantly into shock. I grinned at them … not in a nice way, either! I made an evil grin, they deserved it!
“I’m not dead! I was but, you made me so angry that I couldn’t rest in peace! The next time I die, I will die in private … I will be cremated I don’t want any of you to come around me living, much less dead!”
“You come to party at my funeral! You laugh, you play, you gossip, you eat … you try to go with someone’s husband! You can all go home … I’m not dying now … not until I can die in peace, in private … not have no one at my funeral!”
“If I want to smell smoke … it won’t be from a darn cigarette … it’ll be from my body burning into ashes. Now, go! I’m not going to lay here dead while you have fun at my funeral! I can’t even die in peace.”
One by one … each one of the people filed out through the door of the room my casket sat in. I crawled over the side … looked inside the coffin at the white lacy fabric … sure was pretty. I still smelled smoke from the man whose sister-in-law flirted with him. Trash! Not at my funeral!
Served them right … let them all go home without the satisfaction of standing at my graveside shedding crocodile tears … let the crocodile bite everyone of them in the butt!
I looked across the room … at a lone figure sitting on the upholstered couch. Why, it was my husband. He wasn’t aware of all that had transpired in the room my body had laid in. He was in shock … no one had cared. No one had walked to him, sat beside him to comfort him. Shame on them!
I walked to the couch … I sat down beside him … put my arms around him. His eyes were closed in grief … he wouldn’t look to see who was there. I took my hand, patted him on his cheek like I always did … he began to open his eyes.
As he became aware of me sitting there … he cried out! My darling! You’ve come back! I smiled at him and he held me tightly. I stood up, took him by the hand … led him past the owners of the funeral home. I’m sure they thought they were witnessing a paranormal event … but, I was the real thing. I wasn’t ready to stay dead.
We got into the car, drove home. We lived many years happily until I got ready to die again. This time … no funeral. I was cremated … no false people pretending to be friends, family. My husband took my ashes home to comfort him. I was at peace finally … I had to die twice to … rest in peace.
Note by this Author:
Today we drove by a funeral home … I saw people standing in their little groups … laughing, socializing, smoking … a woman in a mini-skirt, flirting with a man. I sat watching while we waited for the light to change.
I don’t mind seeing this at someone else’s funeral. But … not my funeral.
I’m going to be cremated … no one will be welcomed to come view me excepting my husband, Skip. No one is going to laugh, have a party while I lay dead anywhere. Besides … when I sleep I don’t let people come to view me … why would I let them come to view me when I go to sleep … forever?
Through time I have paid attention to how people act … a lot of them come to the home of the deceased to eat all their stomachs can hold … smiling, laughing all the while. When they leave, they carry their little paper plates all wrapped in plastic with them … to have a snack that night.
I know this is normal for many people … I don’t knock it. But … I’ve never done that at someone’s funeral … I cared about ‘why’ I came to either the funeral home … or the actual home of the deceased. I understand that everyone has different customs when their loved ones die … everyone respects that deceased person’s wishes. I truly respect others and their customs even if I prefer different.
My wishes when I die are that I’m taken directly to be cremated … no viewing. Only my husband can see me … if my son was still living … he could have been there. My ashes will be put in a modest container/urn … not expensive … taken home where … I can rest in peace.
Do you know what you want when you die? Do you want everyone to gather around your body, smiling and laughing … talking? Some people find comfort in that … that’s good for them … not for me. I’d hate to get back up only to … have to do it all over again.
This is really what I think … true thoughts only with some humor (sick humor?) …. because the subject is so serious. It’s not funny, but yet … we have to use humor to tell something that makes us afraid. It’s sometimes, easier to talk about such things in a gentle, humorous way … all the while being very serious.
Story/photo written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I woke up to the thoughts that because I am older … should I forget my dreams, wishes, hopes?
Should I just lay down, die as soon as possible because there’s no room for an older person’s dreams, wishes, hopes.
Am I too old to accomplish anything in the rest of my life? Should I sit like a piece of furniture without thoughts until I take my last breath?
I sat, thought about this. Hell no! I’m not letting go of any of my dreams, hopes, wishes. Even if they don’t come true … they drive me to be the best I can be while I live each day of my life … to the end.
Maybe … there will be one or two people to remember me, think that I was a good person while I lived. Better yet, somehow touching their life in a positive way.
I will keep dreaming … I’m not too old. I will wish for things I hope will come true in life for Skip and I … our Pups.
What drives me to be that way? I love life, I wish for good in my life … my world, my loved ones. What drives me is … pure Hope.
Note by this Author:
I woke up thinking about such things this morning. Photo/article owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I will keep dreaming, wishing and hoping for all the days of my life … no matter how old. I do know dreams can come true … miracles can/will happen.
Dancing To The Tune of Life … On One Leg
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I wrote a happy poem about dancing to the tune of life. Well, it’s still a happy poem … there’s a catch now. I’m going to have to do it on one leg for some time!
Today … Skip and I went to a restaurant … the manager (our friend) was walking us to the
table. The next thing I knew … I had taken a bad fall, my left knee hitting the tile floor. The pain was excruciating. The floor was very slippery, we didn’t know it.
I was taken to the hospital, x-rayed … told I had a broken knee cap. I was sent home on crutches, a stabilizer/immobilizer on my leg. Do not bend it for 6-8 weeks … and see your orthopaedic soon as possible.
So, I’m now ‘dancing to the tune of life on one leg’!
Author’s Note:
I couldn’t believe the fall I took today … it was one fall I never saw coming. This was one fall where the pain was so great … I couldn’t jump up quickly from, look around to see if someone saw me. I can’t believe I cried in public in front of people.
Photo/true story owned/written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Remember Me For The Person I Was Today … Not Yesterday
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Artwork of Ocean is done by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates
Soft sand under my feet, warm … damp
I walk, sway … dance to the music of the waves
Twirling around, wind billowing my long skirt
My hair flowing in the ocean‘s breeze
Moonlight kisses my skin … I raise my face
Open my eyes to the beauty that hugs me
In its splendor … I open my arms to embrace it
I twirl in the wind in pure bliss
Waves washing to the shore race softly toward me
I run to meet them like a long lost friend
Water kisses my toes as I wiggle them in joy
I close my eyes, raise my face to the moon
Happiness courses through my body as I stand there
I listen to the sounds of the ocean
At peace with the world I let it fill my soul
My body begins to dance to the music of the sea
I hear a song no one else hears
Music only heard by someone who can take time
To be still long enough to hear
Only special people can hear this song
Hear this song that makes your soul soar in happiness
Music of the sea that fills your soul like an empty glass
No longer an empty vessel I dance through the night
Until my body is exhausted … I want to sleep
I ran to a mound of soft sand, fell down
Lay my head upon the sand pillow I formed
Listened to music of life … waves, wind
Let the moonlight shine over me, I fall sleep
I became the ocean, wind and waves
No longer aware I was the person asleep on the sand
No worries, thoughts to make me sad
I wasn’t aware of them anymore
My soul was soaring on the breeze
In pure joy … nothing holding me back
I hugged the wind with my soul
Looked up, soared to the moon!
I went toward the light
Drawn toward it like a moth
Silvery moonlight wrapped around me
Pulling me in like a mother does a child
I became the moon … my light shining bright
Shining down on the world … we were many
Many souls casting light for our loved ones
To find their way in this cold, dark world
I became the wind, ocean, waves
My soul soared to the moon in pure happiness
To shine down on another soul as the moon did me
Bring peace, happiness until they found the way
I saw my body on the sand … I flowed back to it!
I woke up with a smile … I was a person again!
I jumped up, ran to the sea
Let the waves kiss my toes … I ran along the edge
I was a child once again for a short time
I ran in pure joy … twirled along the way
Danced my way back to being an adult
Straightened my shoulders … as I walked away
Making the transition to reality from a magical world
Coming from it a better person to shine my light
Let it glow from inside to touch the hearts of others
Light their way when they are near
Reflecting love, caring … all is going to be alright
No matter how bad … in time … all will be good again
One person to another …. they light the way for others
So all can find their way on the dark paths of life
Look around you … you see deep pain in people’s eyes
Who have lived real life … learned from it
You’ll see an understanding in their eyes
From learning life’s lessons … only then … can they be
Compassionate, loving, caring … a light to the world
That comes from being able to feel from their hearts
When they touch your life they do it in such a way
You are a better person for having met them
You know these people when you meet up with them
They are the ones who make you feel better
When you are in their presence … walk away
Still feel the warmth from their souls
Warming your heart like a cheerful fireplace
Burning merrily on a cold, winter’s day
I hope I can reflect such a light
To make everyone feel better for having met me
I want to reflect only goodness
If I can’t say something good, I’ll try to say nothing bad
Though I’m not perfect … I’ll do my best
Be the ocean, wind, waves … moon
Leaving light in my path for others to find their way
I found my way back following splashes of light
On the dark paths I’ve traveled in my life
Someone cared to share along their way
Until the end of my time here on earth
I want to smile … dance the rest of my life in joy
I hope to inspire others who are sad
Let them know … in time all will be alright again
When it comes time for me to go on my last journey
I hope someone will remember me
Not for the person who has made millions of mistakes
Remember me for the person I was today, not yesterday
Note by this Author:
Photo/ heart-felt poem owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I hope I can reflect light as I go through my life. I know at times I haven’t because I was in darkness. I’m not perfect but, I really do the best I can do. Don’t you think if we all did … the world really would be a better place? I do.
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Take my hand … walk with me
Down the halls of my mind
Let me show you the many doors
I have … we may open one, or more
Come … let me show you why I am me
See that door right there
I’ll open it a moment … let you see
Don’t be sad for me … that began me
See the little baby girl at the window
On tiptoes looking out at the children playing
A man comes to pick her up
Carries her to a small room full of shelves
Lays her down on the floor
Puts a cookie in her hand
I want to play she says
The man doesn’t hear her
His mind is on the girl child
And what he’s going to do
Let’s close the door now, we don’t want to see
It’s alright … it helped to shape the person I am
Another door opens … cries are heard
A woman screaming at a preteen girl
Slapping her in the face, knocking her down
Scratching her arm leaving life-long scars
Close the door … it’s just another thing in my life
To help shape me to why I’m me today
We’ll look behind this door … see what’s there
Oh yes … more sadness, pain … grief
One door after the other … cries come from each room
Once in a while a door is opened … laughter peals out
Most of the rooms in my mind are full of pain
Pain of every kind … emotional, physical
I know how pain feels so, I try never to hurt anyone
Though at times it can’t be helped
I try to be kind because I know how it feels
To be treated in an unkindly manner
The me today has a big, caring Heart filled with love
Though I guard it carefully … staying private to myself
I care about people, animals
The bad things in my life didn’t go to waste
I learned from them … I grew stronger from them
That’s why I am me today
I have weathered many of life’s wildest storms
I am still standing like the redwood tree
Weather-beaten, worn down but, still here
With a smile on my face because I’m glad I’m me
I can live with myself inside … where I’m at peace
Not rich, famous … a nobody but … somebody
I’ll let go of your hand now … now, look at me
I hope you see a real person in front of you
One who cares about everything … everyone
I hope you like me
Note by this Author:
A poem written from my real feelings. Photo/Poem are both owned by me … #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I Just Don’t Know What to Say
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Have you ever been in a public place … see people you like … yet, you don’t want to talk to them? Why wouldn’t one want to talk to them?
Maybe because … one doesn’t know what to say to them. Maybe … there’s no common interest … no middle ground to stand on. You like them … you should be able to hold a conversation with them.
They seem to like you … always come up to hug you. They … like you … find it hard to say anything to you, also. Awkward … thankfully … the husbands can talk freely. Strange.
I feel sad because I was in this situation today. I liked the person very much, always have. I just don’t know what to say to them.
Note by this author:
Strange enough … I have several people in my life I really like … I just can’t talk to them because I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine that ever changing to other than what it is. They don’t know how to talk to me either. Sometimes, people don’t know how to take me. Sometimes, I don’t know how to take them … either.
Photos/true story are owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Colors of My Life 