Saying Goodbye To The Past… Including People


 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee… Summer of 2013

 

Saying Goodbye To The Past… Including People

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

The year 2013 has brought closure to many things

Things held onto from the past… things hard to let go of

 

Time comes one day to let go… of things, people

It’s not that you hate anything… you untie the invisible cord

 

Invisible cord from something inside you wanting to hold on

The more you hold onto things, people

 

The more cluttered your life… mind becomes

Until you sit, hold your head… needing space in place of clutter

 

Clutter being feelings that belong in the past

It isn’t easy to sever the cord… let it all float away

 

Let things float away to new owners… another man’s trash

Is another man’s … treasure

 

Let people float away to live their life without you

Without them… being connected when it’s not good to be

 

No hate, hard feelings… let go, let go

The relief inside will be like no relief you’ve ever known

 

Take a deep breath, feel it relaxing your whole body

Now… you can look around, see

 

See all around you… no clutter, no pain

From things, people you’ve held onto from the past

 

Held onto… wishing, hoping in vain

Never in this world can they be a real part of your life

 

No matter how long you hold onto them

Wish them well… let them be free… you be free

 

To live without judging them… them judging you

Go in peace… everyone live their life

 

Let ‘things’ go to people who’ll appreciate having them

Yes, another man’s trash really is… someone else’s treasure

 

Sure, there will be tears… hard feelings along the way

Letting go of the past… is never easy

 

One wonders if they made the right decision

Who knows if it is or not… we never know until… we let go

 

In my life, I face reality… know that I’m not important to anyone

Outside my small world… the truth is the truth

 

I accept that… the things, people I have let go of in 2013

Will be happier to have new homes, places… to go to in peace

 

I wish only good things to follow them, I smile as I see

In my mind… probably how glad they are, just as I am

 

To take a deep breath of relief… no strings, no commitments

No one has to pretend anymore to be what they aren’t

 

It’s easier to let go of people who are like glass

Like glass… so, easy to see through

 

They resent, become afraid when one can expose them

While they live in a fantasy world they build… a rock can bring it all down

 

Don’t live in glass houses, everyone can see… know

You aren’t what you claim to be…

 

In real life though… who cares, when you go on to be a good person

Who cares?  The world needs bad people who become good people

 

They’ve been there, come back… they are the backbone of the world

Some only visit ‘there’… run away back to the real world to be good

 

These are your real people… they know what life’s all about

You can’t fool them…. they can see you, know what you really are

 

They have seen it all… heard it all

The only thing is… no one wants to listen to them, to learn… to keep from making the same mistakes

 

So, it’s time to let them go their own way… let relationships go… that can never be

No need to waste time when you can very well see… it’s like sitting, spinning your wheels in the mud

 

I am not going to be stuck in a quagmire any longer

I’ve let go… said goodbye to the past… including people

 

 

Author’s Note:

 

I have done as I wrote… let go of material things I’ve tried to hold onto… gave away to a young family to help them.  I need money… but, I gave instead of trying to sell.  I’m not looking back…

 

I’ve also, let go of ‘family’ members whom I am better at loving from a distance… instead of in my immediate life.  It’s not that I don’t love them… but, through time … I’ve never known them, nor communicated with them.  I do care… there’s an invisible wall there, one can’t see.  It was there … before I was born.

 

For a short time in the last couple of years, our lives touched… for a short time, it was wonderful.

 

One could pretend, feel how wonderful it would be to have ‘real family’… there’s no feeling like it in the world.  The strange thing is… as quickly as it happened… it was gone.

 

No fault of the other… we are like that… it’s like a plant that has shallow roots.  It can only grow into the ground so far… some can be dug up easily.  The plant… dies.

 

Maybe it’s me… how I’ve been affected through time… I used to want ‘family’ with my very heart through time.  Maybe it’s me… I’m like that plant that has shallow roots… I’m easily ‘dug up’… I don’t feel the same way, anymore.  Maybe… it isn’t just me…

 

Just maybe, now… in my ‘old’ life… I can’t develop ties with ‘family’ now.  I only know in my life, it isn’t possible… maybe in another lifetime.  In this life, if it didn’t happen ‘before’ this time in my life… it can’t ever happen … never.

 

I’ve gotten past the pain of realizing this… I don’t want it to hurt another person at all… though, I know it does.  It also, angers some.  I can only say I’ve never meant to cause pain, anger.  I’m being real.

 

Maybe, I’m really a bad person who just thinks I’m a good person.  Here, I am… letting go of things, people that cause me pain, grief …I can’t keep on stressing over.  I don’t want to be a bad person at all.

 

Maybe…  I’m the one I keep writing about from time to time.  Maybe, I’m the one who can’t form attachments to people, things at this point in my life.  I wonder if it means I’m just an awful, awful person?

 

I thought about all of this… I could be onto something here.  I know that I can’t get close to anyone other… than the very few people in my life.  I can’t bear to care about, love … any extra people in my life.  Look at how many I have lost in my life that I truly cared about… I can’t bear the grief, pain.

 

I only hope, pray… I won’t lose any of my closest people, Pups…  I have in my life that I can count on both hands.  I’ve known pain, grief my whole life…. after losing my son… I almost didn’t make it this far.  I died with him… for two years I just as well have been dead… I didn’t know, nor care if I was alive.

 

Now… I don’t want ‘more people’ to lose… to have to feel that pain.  I don’t know if I can ‘bear more’…

 

This is my way of thinking… I share it with the whole world.  It’s something to think about.  Maybe … there are others who can understand, go through the same thing.  Maybe … I’m the only one who thinks like this.

 

This is my way of… protecting myself.  We all do that in one way, or the other.  Self-preservation…. I’m all I’ve got.  Now, I want to live forever… I would like to know life without pain, grief now.

 

I’m wondering what you think, feel?  Am I a bad person for thinking like this?  I always try to be a good person… I’ve been through ‘all my bad’… I try to be as good as possible… though, I’m just not perfect… no matter how good I try to be.

 

I’ve enjoyed talking to you.  I look forward to hearing what you have to say.  :)))  I’m a good listener, also.  :)))  Gloria

 

Throw That Dead Plant Out The Door…


Throw That Dead Plant Out The Door…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates

 

Potted plant with Christmas Spiders I made…

 

On my table sits a potted plant, all brown… withered

I hold onto it just in case… just in case it shows life

 

I watch, listen… look all through it with hope in my heart

Why?  Because the plant meant something to me, I want it to live

 

Should I throw that dead potted plant away?

I mean, it might revive itself from my love… begin growing again

 

Am I fooling myself, wishing for the impossible

Can one make a dead person come back alive … with love?

 

Can I make this dead potted plant come back alive

Will my love, caring make it grow… it’s dead, dead, dead

 

Letting go, throwing that dead potted plant out the door

Doesn’t mean I hate it, never loved it… it’s dead, it can’t return my love

 

The plant isn’t aware how much it means to me… it won’t even show green for me

Brown, withered… nothing I can do will bring it alive

 

At first… I would see a sign of green to let me know it wanted to grow

Life came along … affected me, plant and all

 

Until that potted plant just died sitting there on that table

Today… after trying to keep it all these years … I throw it away

 

It doesn’t mean I love it any less… I will love it always because of what it meant to me

Now… there’s no place for it in my life… I’ll do us both a favor

 

Throw it right out that door, never look back… because no matter how my heart hurts

That plant’s not coming back alive… it has no heart… no roots; they died long ago

 

I won’t keep beating a dead horse to make it come alive

I’ll leave it in peace now… no more, no more … this is it

 

Everyone can think what they will … they will anyway

Think I never loved, or cared… it’s what they don’t know

 

Never will… what’s been in my heart all these years

Never know the pain I’ve lived with… now, I’m old enough to know to… let go

 

Let go of what has been in my side all these years

I should have done it long ago… less heartache, less grief, pain

 

I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to let go

Throw that dead potted plant … out the door

 

Time To Let Go Of You … And You … And … You


Time To Let Go Of You … And You … And … You

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

There comes a time in a person’s life when it’s time to cleanse

Get the clutter out of their life, be able to see… think clearly

Clutter being material things… clutter being negative people

 

Time to let go of things unneeded, things that take up space

People who are negative… people who deceive us as friends

People who are unhealthy for us …. who use us when needed

 

Time to let go of people who pretend they are family, care

People who latch onto us, if they think we are somebody

Unlatch from us… if we are not

 

What better time to cleanse our life from all the riff-raff

Let go of all the things that take up space, cause us grief

What better time than… now… to let go?

 

Clutter, negative people are like bricks in a foundation

Bricks that are broken, no good for building

A house that sits on them… will fall down, never be secure

 

Let go, let go … get the clutter out of your life

Be it material… be it living

Get it out … get it out before it smothers, weighs you down

 

Get the negative people out who lie to your face, laugh behind your back

You know who they are… they know you know, yet they keep right on

It’s time to get their ass out of your life, throw them out like trash

 

How about the one who promised to tell you how your brother is

‘Forgets’ to tell you anything… yet, sees the family often

How about being told not to say anything… you smile, you lie

 

Thinking no one knows what you’ve done… has waited on you

For months to see… if you were a real friend… family

Disappointed… because you were no more than anyone else

 

It’s time for you, and others to part ways, go your way forever

Time for me to go mine forever… never crossing paths again

Because… who needs enemies when they have … family?

 

Family of black widow spiders who constantly strike, bite

Bite the other in the back, lying… deceiving the whole time

It’s the end of the year now… it’s time to let go of all who cause grief

 

Begin life anew… more space in your life, your mind,  your heart

To fill with good things, thoughts… happiness

Where before… was filled with unhappiness from too much clutter

 

It’s time to let go… let go … I’m going to … let go soon

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning, in my home and in my mind

Time for these negative people… to go… time to let go, clean my life

 

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 

Author’s Note:

 

I’ve been doing a lot of cleansing in my life… material things that have cluttered my life.  Now… in the next week or so… I hope the negative people will go on in their life… because I will be letting go of them … one by one.

 

This will be my only goodbye to them… I send you best wishes to take with you … when I let go of you on my Facebook… my life.

 

You are the ‘broken bricks’ in my foundation… I have to remove you in order… to make my foundation stronger.

 

We all should do this from time to time… but, many won’t.  They are afraid of being alone… afraid of having no one.  I am not.  I don’t miss what I never had… before.  I do this in a kind way, and wish all back to the ones I let go… that they gave, touched my life with.  They are … very deserving.

 

No one should have enemies when… they have … family.  Life is what it is… I hold no hard feelings… if you have to, so… be it.