Life Is What It Is … So … Is Death


 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

Life is what it is … so is death by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Photo of chest with my brother, Rick-Rick’s ashes.  Photo owned by me, and I have his ashes.  I also, have my mother’s ashes in a rose chest.

 

 

I’ve been thinking a lot today … no, lately … no, thinking a lot all the time.  I never stop thinking. Truthfully, I think we all think while we think we don’t.  Did I say the word ‘think’ enough?

I told Skip today that as I get older … I am going to grow ‘old’ with a personality.  He told me I already have personality.  I smiled.

I mean … I don’t want to grow older … all frumpy, gray-headed, have a big belly.  I want to look nice … colorful … have wild-hair … wear high heels, skirts … be sassy.  The ladies in this area cut their hair off short … tease, spray it.  No, can do.  I would rather it look wild as hell, unkempt first.  I’ve let myself go long enough.

I don’t knock anyone for their look, style.  I do get aggravated with mine.  I never used to look the way I do … as I grew older  Life kicked my ass … and this is the … end result.

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.  I always looked pretty through time until the past years.  Grief does something to a person.  Now … it’s only at times I do … I have to feel very good to ‘primp.’

Five years has gone by … almost 6 years in May this year … I’ve coped with my grief.

I have it in perspective … all is in the proper place in my mind.  I’m alright now.  I’m going to be alright.  Sure, there will be times I’ll grieve deeply.  I see by this time … it will happen.  It’ll happen out of the blue.  I will hold my ground, face it … cope with it.  I’ll write away my pain … I won’t talk about it, only write it.

Now … today … tomorrow … I have my mind on my appearance.  I think it’s time to work on my physical appearance.  I’ve done good with my mental health.  I had begun doing just that … only to ‘let go’ when Skip had his stroke/pacemaker in January.

I lost my focus on myself.  I gained back 12 lbs. of the 30 some lbs. of weight I had lost.  I didn’t care … Skip and the Pups were my priority.  Life is like that … our loved ones come first before anything.  I was going through a lot mentally … I almost lost Skip.

Skip and our Pups are my whole world.  I honestly don’t … have anyone else in this big, old world.  Most people have a family support system … I don’t have such.  I am on my own … no one in his or my family are close enough to be called … close family.  So basically … we are all we got.  That’s okay … we are used to that.

Skip and I attended a funeral recently.  We did a lot of talking afterwards.  We have decided to do what we have originally decided to do … if one of us dies.

I don’t want Skip to tell anyone that I’ve died … just call the place where we want to have our bodies cremated … do it quietly.  No viewing, no people … no service at all.  I don’t have any family close enough to call … family.

Either Skip or I … if one of us dies … will quietly go pick up the ashes of the other to bring home.  They will be placed beside the 2 urns with the ashes of Fairchild, our 12 year old Rottie who died with cancer … and Chadwick, our 7 year old Coy dog who died during a seizure.

Skip feels the same way …. I won’t call anyone, nor let anyone know if … he dies.  No one will know until later … after all is said, done.  I will honor his wishes … he will honor mine.

We both went over the information we have in place to take care of arrangements so, the other will know what to do.  That will make it better for the one left … when grieving … one can’t think the best.

We talked about the material things we have … we don’t have a lot.  They will be sold for the one left … to live on.  Nobody related to us will get anything … there’s no need to come around after one of us is gone.

Our wills state no one is to get anything … only the one of us that is left gets all … and it can be sold if we want to … in order to help with the cost of living.

I’m sure everyone has in place what they want to do, have wishes for how things will be when they die.  No one likes to talk about these things.  Well … we know with all we’ve been through … we know things can happen … it’s time to face reality.  Life is what it is … so, is death.

 

 

Note by this Author:

Photo/post owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  These are our wishes … when we die.  Life is what it is … so, is death.

I Just Wish I Could Save the Whole World


 

 

Sometimes … I feel very sad … because I know reality is … people, animals … even me, my loved ones … will have to die one day … by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

I have been watching the news this evening.  I saw video of the homes of hundreds of people being flooded … rains, river.

My Heart breaks at the thought of people having to leave their homes … possessions that make their homes a home … their life comfortable.

The closest I can come to imagining what it’s like is when we lost everything in a fire.  It happened so fast … we couldn’t save anything but, our Pups … ourselves.

I feel sad, afraid for the many people who now, face life having to begin all over.  I know there are many tears being shed … grief.  I am so very sorry.

I get the impression that now … storms are doing such damage, destruction here in the United States like never before.  I know that when we get storms in our area in today’s time … storms always cause destruction … even death.  I’m very nervous when storms come up.  It seems they are more intense now.

Do you ever worry about strangers … care with your Heart … feel pain at the thoughts of so many people suffering … people you don’t know?  Animals?  I think about such things all the time.  Sometimes, the thoughts overwhelm me … I have to get my attention on something else.  I can’t bear for people, animals to suffer.

I am bothered by the many animals we see … laying on the roads from being hit by vehicles.  Do you know … I say a prayer for every one I see.

My prayers go something like this:  I pray that you didn’t suffer when you were struck by a vehicle.  I’m so sorry that you died.

Maybe you think I’m silly for caring … it’s true.  I’ve always done this.  I’ll always do it.  I care for every animal I see.  I stop to move turtles out of the road.

My prayers are that you and your loved ones … and animals are always safe.  Lately I’ve been sad when a family lost their dear loved one.  It hurt my Heart deeply.  Of course, I felt so much caring for the whole family … and as a grieving mother … I understood what the mother is going through … will go through.  I’m so sorry … I would walk that road of grief she is on now if I could for her … I know the way … and know it well.

These are thoughts on my mind tonight as I sit here at my computer.  I feel such love, caring … for people, animals I don’t even know.  I worry for the world.  I just wish I could save the whole world.

 

Note by this Author:

 

These are true thoughts I feel … no matter if they sound silly.  I truly wish … I could save this whole world.  I know I can’t in reality … doesn’t stop me from wishing with my Heart that I could.  I’m so sorry when people have to feel pain, grief, heartache.  I know how it feels … it hurts so bad.

 

Photo/true thoughts owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

I Need Words That Turn into Arrows to Point the Way in the Right Direction …


 

 

 

Email:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com

Facebook.com/grannygee

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

Life is too real … yes, it really is.  It’s full of challenges, twists … turns … obstacles in one’s path.

 

You take many journeys in life … events happen … unexpected events … life-changing events.  Each time something happens … you, your life … everything changes in some way.  Life isn’t ever the same again.

 

Sometimes, and best … are the little things that happen in Life.  You know … the things we can fix … do something about.  These are the events we’d rather have.

 

The events that happen … boom!  right out of the blue … these are the scary events.  These are the events that are life-altering … have to do with life-threatening illnesses, accidents.  A lot of times, we can recover from them with little change … a lot of times, completely life-changing.

 

The life-changing events can be so drastic as to make a person lose everything they have … quality of life goes all the way down … even to being homeless.

 

If you don’t go homeless … there are other scary things … being near homeless, hard to get medicines one needs … get nutritous foods to keep one’s health up … to stay warm, cool.  Buying gas to go to the doctor, supermarket.  Paying co-pays so, a doctor won’t quit seeing you (we had that happen … a cardiologist at that).  Scary.

 

Such things as I’ve mentioned … these are the things one has a time trying to recover from … sometimes, never recovering from them.  I can’t think of all to name here … but, I’m sure many of you who read here … know more things.

 

Other things to change one’s life are when you lose everything you’ve got … due to medicals bills, just trying to survive.  We did this when we both had cancer … I had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and my husband … Colon Cancer.  When we did begin recovering … we lost everything to a house-fire.  We were left at the mercy of the world.

 

Another time … my husband was in a tractor-trailer accident out in New Mexico.

 

Then … one by one … my family members began dying … the very people I loved with my Heart, my very favorite people whom I knew loved me.  This included my mother, brother, father, grandmother … a step-mother who might have in a way (didn’t matter, I really did love her), uncles, aunts, cousins … then, several of our friends.

 

One after one … they kept dying.  One cousin hit a log truck head-on during passing a car … she died instantly (she was trying to help us get on our feet after the house fire) … her brother, one of my cousins I loved dearly as a child … died with a gunshot to his head (supposedly suicide).

 

On and on … the deaths happened just like cards being dealt.  I have no one now left in my family that I can be close to.  They all live their lives, I live mine.  We go in peace.

 

These are just examples of life events, journeys in life.  All were awful … took so long to cope with … some I never got to cope with properly … because one after one kept happening … and then …

 

The worst of any of those things … was the evening a man, complete stranger rung our phone to say, “ma’am, I have a collapsed man here who isn’t breathing.”

 

My only child, my son … had gone on vacation with his family to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

 

Tommy (my son) … told me the evening before how he was looking forward to playing with his 3 year old son for the first time ever at the ocean.  His face was lit up like the sunshine … he was excited … I felt his excitement.  We were smiling happily while he told me.

 

The next evening, May 29, 2010 … Saturday evening … Tommy did get to play with Taban, my grandson … for a few minutes before he died there on the sand.  He’d been sending me photos, video to my computer.

 

A group of people watched this tall, blonde-headed guy run, play and laugh with a little blonde-headed boy who looked just like him.  Laughter, squeals of delight … as the waves came in to wash around their feet.

 

Tommy collapsed on the sand … thankfully, the people saw something was wrong, hurried over to protect my little grandson.  He was all alone … as his daddy’s soul drifted up to Heaven.  He could hear the sea gulls singing as he called his daddy.

 

I’ll stop here … this was the worst of worst to ever happen to me in my life.  I stopped living for 3 years … I was the walking dead … I had already died … inside.  Life stopped for me when I became aware of the meaning of the words the stranger was trying to tell me over the phone … the end, that was it.

 

I’ve never taken drugs … but, I do recall the last thing I said to my husband, Skip … before going into the darkness.  I told him to please take me to the hospital and let them drug me.

 

I couldn’t live with such knowledge inside me … I was trapped inside myself … my son was dead!  My son had died!  Oh my God, my son!  My son, Tommy!  I could not stay awake to know that … drug me until I’m not here anymore.

 

Unknowingly at that time … Skip told me later about standing at times to listen to me breathe … he was afraid I would die … I was taking the medicine because I couldn’t bear to face the daylight … I had to hide in darkness.

 

I vaguely remember Skip begging me not to take the medicine anymore … “please don’t take it, Baby Girl”.  I couldn’t … not take it.  God knows what would have happened if I had.

 

Anyway … you get the idea of what I mean about journeys, life-changing events.  I’ve lived real life … I’ve lived more life-changing events than anyone knows … some I’ll never reveal, they’ll go to the grave with me.

 

I made it … I’m still here … something inside me kept fighting to survive when I really died inside to I didn’t know I was still living.

 

I’m not the only one to suffer, go through pain and grief mostly in life.  Where you probably have had a normal, good life without such things happening in your life … maybe one or two things … mine has had more than I could count.

 

I’ve been reeling … constantly getting back to my feet where Life has slammed me into the ground all through my time here on earth.

 

I’m just realizing at this time in my life that I’ve become an OLD-ass woman … can you believe how time’s gone by?  During all the crisises in my life … I wasn’t ever aware of how I was growing older.  Isn’t that damn-amazing?

 

Now … I’m on another road in Life … on another journey.  I’m having to learn my way on how to navigate being OLD.  I’m on the OLD road in Life.  Especially now … I’ve got to learn in a hurry what to do.  I’m not OLD but … old.

 

Skip has had a stroke … I almost lost him a couple weeks ago … he had complete 3rd degree heart block (electrical activity in the heart where the upper chamber communicates with the lower chamber … his wasn’t doing that).

 

Skip just got a pacemaker to help his heart beat as it should … he isn’t well, is recovering now.  The stroke did something to his left eye, he is still having headaches.  He has diabetic neuropathy in his feet/diabetes.

 

I have my own medical conditions I have to cope with on a daily basis.  For now, I am having to be the strongest.  I take care of Skip, and our Pups.  No matter what I have to go through … I will focus on caring for them.  They are my whole world … they are all I have left in this world.

 

So, that means Skip can’t work … no income.  I have to find a way to get help.  Get help with rent … food … medical … gas to go back and forwards to the doctors.  I’ve applied for food, medical … I won’t know for a week or so, if I get it or not.  I pray that I do … for once we are really desperate … it’s a crisis.

 

When I asked for help with the rent … it was at closing time … the Spanish girl wanted to go home.  Everyone at the office there was excited at the pending snowstorm heading our way.  They were walking out the door to go home … only the Spanish girl had to stay … until the last person … being me, and my very sick husband.

 

She met us with a cold expression, took us down a long hall to her office.  She wasn’t interested in anything I said … I sensed she just wanted us to be gone.  She wanted to go home.  I asked her for resources for seniors … for help to pay rent … some direction to go to get help.

 

I’ll never forget the Spanish girl looking up at me, saying “go to a shelter, but … I don’t know where there’s one.”  I sat there stunned … my poor, sick husband sat there stunned.

 

She wanted us to go, leave so she could go home … we did, and she almost beat us getting to her car in the parking lot.  I was just opening the door to get in when she rushed past us … I told my husband to look.

 

This is another of those life-altering events that I have no manuel, no direction in which to turn.  I don’t know what to do … what do I do?

 

Where will I go first?  How do I keep from hurting when someone steps on my pride?  Makes me feel bad for asking for help when I’ve waited too long to.

 

What happened to the other seniors before me … who were disabled, desperate for help?  Were they sent away to a dark hole, box?  Where are they?  I asked the Spanish girl … “what happened to them?”  Who did they go to … to get help, direction?

 

I mean, it was this young, Spanish girl whom we were sent to … to get this type of help.  I told her we were sent from the front to her, and were given hope … she told me, “well, it’s this way … they don’t know how I operate back here … I don’t know how they operate up front.”

 

They might tell you … you can get help with your rent … but, they’re wrong.”

 

How can I argue that with her without looking bad?  Or appear to be making a scene?  When it was past time for her to go home?  I didn’t … we left, feeling hopeless.

 

The thought of going to shelters, being separated from each other … our two Pups that are our entire life being taken away from us … in our minds.

 

We were crushed.  She never smiled at us the first time … she never offered words of comfort … hope.  Cold … blank face … uncaring.

 

I haven’t gotten through this new journey I’m on … I’ve just stepped onto the road … I am seeing roads ahead … the signs are blank.  I don’t know which way to go.

 

I will have to make decisions blindly … unless someone can speak out, tell me.  I understand people in our situation might not want to talk … afraid it could affect them in their life … mess up the even keel they finally got on.

 

In the meantime … we have to live … but very soon, we’ve got to have financial help to buy gas to go find help, go to doctor appointments, eat … to stay in the home we live in (rental), to buy water to drink (we can’t drink water from the tap).

 

I’m not going to beg, whine, cry to get help … I’m not doing that now.  I don’t feel sorry for myself … I was knocked to the ground again by Life … I’ve dusted my pants off … I’m standing up … holding my ground here.  I just need solid advice … some sure-fire direction to go in … not what someone ‘thinks someone did’ … but, seriously … what did they do to find real help.  I’m living real Life … I need to know.  I know I’m not the only one who has had to do this.

 

My email address is:   gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com  … if you can offer solid advice (it has to be for North Carolina) … won’t you please email me, tell me?

 

We hope to stay here in the same rental house we moved to after my son’s death … it feels like home, safe … good neighbors who mean the world to us.

 

I’m not asking for anyone’s money, material things … just for words that will be my arrows to point the direction to get the help we need.

 

Just words that will be arrows to point in the direction of help.  You don’t have to give me your names … if you do, I promise to respect your privacy.  I’m on a new road … I just don’t want to get lost.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

Photo/true story (January 2016) owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

I have written our situation in hopes of someone knowing what to do … will contact me … tell me.  I’m not asking for anything else … just words that turn into arrows to point the way to help on this new road I’ve just gotten onto.  Thank you in advance.  Gloria/Granny Gee.

 

Email:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com    …..  (my private email address)

 

Lord, I’m Standing Up Again …


Lord, I’m Standing Up Again …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

The waves are battering me again trying to break me apart

I’m tossed, thrown on the sea to sink … only to rise

I tighten up … another Life’s storm comes for me

The wind … darkness … all vicious in its might

Try to destroy me … sink me to the pits of the unknown

I’m afraid … I pray for help … in the meantime I don’t give up

I hold my ground … stand up straight … I focus ahead

My hands brush the sand off my ass from where I fell

Life just threw me down once again

Stay down … stay down this time, Life roars at me

Hell no!  I try to rise, being pushed down the whole time

Tears flow down my cheeks … anger, pain soar through my mind, body

I’m not staying down even if I have to crawl

I’m like the redwood tree … scarred from many battles

I’ve stood through the years beaten, worn

I’m broken, beaten … not pretty to look at anymore

Doesn’t matter … all I worry about now

Is to survive … live until I die

My way has been hard … never easy

Each road I’ve taken has lead to pain

In my old age I would love to know peace, comfort

Know how it feels not to suffer physically, have mental pain

Be able to smile and not hide anything … smile because

For once everything really is alright

Grow old gracefully … feeling joy in my Heart

Having enough so, I can share

Doing good things for others in need

The wind has been knocked out of me

The love of my life almost died

I almost lost another part of my whole world

Oh God, I cried … please don’t take him away

He’s all I have … my Husband, our two Pups

They make up my whole world

You took my son, my only child

I’ve never questioned why

I learned to accept I’ll never see him again

I never hated you, God

I never cursed you, screamed at you for taking him away

I cried, stayed in darkness … I just couldn’t bear losing my son

You took every member of my family away

All the ones I truly loved … now, they are gone

All I have left is my whole world

Please let us have many good years

Good years where we can live in peace, not know more pain

Let us experience true happiness … instead of sadness

Lord, I am standing up once again

Please don’t let Life knock me down again

Give me a chance to know peace, happiness while I live

Please let a miracle come into my Life

Let me have a chance to do good things I’ve wished to do

There are people I want to help, bring some joy into their life

Please give me the chance to experience joy

Joy of being able to have in order to give

Let me be a part of that wonderful feeling

Let my Heart soar with happiness

Knowing I’ve done well, made a difference

Let me do special things from my Heart

Most of all … keep me strong for my Husband

Help him through his illness to get better

Thank you, Lord, for letting him live

Each day he slowly gets better

I go forward even while I’m afraid

Lord, I’m standing once again … please don’t let Life knock me down

 

 

Note by this Author:

My husband, Skip, has been gravely ill.  He suffered a stroke, his heart almost stopped.  He has a pacemaker implanted now in his chest. He has diabetic neuropathy, diabetes.  He is a cancer survivor (colon cancer).  He won’t be able to work again.

Our life has completely changed … we’ve begun a new journey in our life … we are facing the unknown.  I pray that as we go forward … all will be good in the rest of our life.

Photos/my poem owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

 

Did You Know Dogs Can Climb? When Life Reaches Out to Touch You Unexpectedly …


 

 

 

Did You Know Dogs Can Climb?  When Life Reaches Out to Touch You Unexpectedly …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Kissy Fairchild Bates … Our Rottie

Precious Camo/Camie Leigh Bates … Our Mixed-Perfectly Australian Shepherd

 

 

 

Do you ever think if you stay at home … mind your own business, not bother anyone … that the world will leave you alone?

 

 

Even if you never socialize … close yourself off to the world … stay private not ever speaking to someone, or go around someone else … did you know … the world can touch your life … reach in, jerk your ass out of your little world … whether you like it or not?

 

 

Seriously … think about it.  I will give you just a little example of what I mean … we are private people and we love to be around people … so, don’t think we are so private we don’t get around other people.

 

 

We like people … we love to talk …  just at home it’s hard to have company … our Pups aren’t used to visitors … they will bark, raise Cain if someone comes.  Not exactly a good visiting atmosphere … it’s their home, too.  We have never had many visitors so, it’s understandable.  The Pups deter visitors …

 

 

Getting back to what I mean about the … world reaching out to touch you … while you are in your own little world, minding your business, not bothering anyone.

 

 

We live to ourselves … our Pups have a small fenced-in yard with a locked gate.  They go in and out through their pet door.  They are clean, and they are house-broken.  They are good Pups … they never run loose in the neighborhood.

 

 

To us it would be like letting little children run all over the place who are innocent to the perils of the world.  They might never-ever make it back home … wild animals, other dogs, a car could make their little journey out running around … be the last time we see them.  Too many dangers … something could kill them … just like that.  I can’t bear to think of it.

 

 

Getting back once again to what I mean about the world … life … reaching out to touch you … while you are in your own little world.

 

 

We were sitting in the living room … our 2 Pups laying close to us.  We were watching something on tv.  I heard an unfamiliar bark and I thought it was on tv.  It didn’t take but, a moment to realize that no!  it was in our back fenced-in yard.  I hurried to the door, Skip behind me … of course, our 2 Pups ( I hate to call them dogs :).

 

 

The Pups ran out their pet door, immediately began wildly barking, growling.  I knew something was out there!  I opened the door and didn’t see anything at first … I looked at the end of the porch where our dogs were … going crazy!

 

 

I couldn’t believe my eyes … there was a small Beagle dog barking, growling back at our Pups!  She was inside their fenced-in yard!  We began immediately putting a barrier between the dogs … we couldn’t bear for any of them to get hurt!

 

 

I went inside, got a baby gate I use on the front storm door in case a Pup ever decided to jump up on it … I don’t take chances, nor take anything for granted … I protect our Pups. Anyway …

 

 

The little Beagle ran up onto the porch, got beneath the bench making it easier to protect it.  I got our 2 Pups’ leashes, put them on the Pups … brought them inside … closed up their pet door.

 

 

We were going to calm the Beagle down … let it go back outside the fence.  We kept wondering ‘who would have dropped the dog over our fence’?  About that time … a man walked up … he was looking for his two little Beagle dogs … named Laverne and Shirley.

 

 

Shirley was the Beagle on our porch.  We unlocked the gate, let the man come in to get his dog.  The man had a belt in his hand … before I let him get the little dog … I asked him, “are you going to whip that dog?”  He smiled, said … “no! I’m going to use it like a leash”.

 

 

He went on to tell me he always let the little dogs run in this neighborhood when he came to visit.  I asked him not to do that anymore … because there were other big dogs that ran free here, and something bad could happen … because something did happen this past summer.

 

 

The man was visiting his son … had always brought his dogs to run free.  He said he wouldn’t do it again.  He was concerned to where his other little dog was.  He got Shirley and went walking off calling … Laverne!  I pray he found her, too.

 

 

If I hadn’t felt good about that man … he’d had a problem getting the little Beagle dog.  The belt bothered me, but I saw how the little dog reacted to him.  It loved him, and it got as tight to the man’s chest when he picked it up.  That made me know the little Beagle wasn’t afraid of him.  The man held it tightly, he was glad to find her.

 

 

See what I mean about … how Life can reach out to touch your life and you are in your own world?  Who would have thought a dog would have been inside our fence … a strange dog?  Thank God, we were home … the outcome might not have been good at all.

 

 

You would think we could let our guard down at home.  To a degree, we can … we still have to be alert around us.  How did the dog get into our fenced-in yard?

 

 

Did you know Beagle dogs can climb?  No one around here would have put a dog inside our Pups’ fence ( with a Rottweiler and an Australian Shepherd).  Skip was telling me how they can climb fences.  I went online … watched a video of a Beagle dog … climbing a fence!  Amazing!

 

 

I didn’t know dogs could climb.  Did you?

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

 

True story/photo written … owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

Back to Business as Usual …


Back to Business as Usual …
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

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I don’t take anything for granted … I find that if I do … I waste time. Time that something could be done … have been done during the period I’ve waited … if only I had known.

 

That’s why following-up behind something is important. Don’t go on to forget something … just because someone says ‘if you don’t hear from me … you can know it’s been taken care of.’ No … don’t trust that at all … because 9 out of 10 times when you … assume … all is okay, go to the next step … you are stopped in your tracks by that very someone who said, “if you haven’t heard from me, know all is taken care of.” Be damned … you have to begin all over again.

 

See, they can say they’ve been too busy, or was waiting for this or for that. What can you do? You sit there like a dumbass … knowing you should have known better. There’s nothing to do but, go on and do what you should have done in the beginning. Don’t count on someone else … follow up, don’t let time be wasted.

 

I am going to begin following up on things beginning this coming week. The holidays will be over … it’s time to get down to business. I am not letting more time go by to get the important things I want done … done. I knew during holidays … nothing is going to be done. Why? No one is going to seriously work when their mind is on their holidays with loved ones. I don’t blame them.

 

When I worked … I still got my job done no matter what, and when someone counted on me … I didn’t let them down. Not everyone is like me … I am the exception. I’m also, a perfectionist when it comes to doing something I am responsible for getting done. Even if I don’t want to do it I am going to do it to the best of my ability … and then, just a little more.

 

I will be glad when Monday gets here. People will go back to work … and everyone will get back to business as usual.

 
Note by this Author:

 

We all have things we want done. We have to keep up and make sure progress is happening. You know how it is when someone doesn’t do their part. I’m going to do my part to make things happen. Don’t rely on someone else totally. Follow up. Photos/story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Damn Rainbow!


 

 

 

Damn Rainbow!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee.  I used a coffee filter, and gold wire, beads, and markers.

 

 

 

Today … the sun was shining brightly … wonderful to see when you’ve felt as down as I have.  In fact … I was feeling a rainbow coming on … to brighten my mood once again.

Didn’t happen.  Damn rainbow fell, busted in a damn million pieces before … it stretched out this far to … reach me.  So, my mood isn’t sad anymore … it’s … sadder.

Sadder for the lost of a friendship I think I would have liked to had.  A person I truly enjoyed talking to … I rarely do that in person … with anyone.  I stay to myself.  It’s rare that I like someone … I mean I ‘like’ everyone … but … LIKE … someone.

It’s nothing I’ve done personally … it’s from something else that I had nothing to do with.  Now … it is impossible for a friendship to form … but, you know … life happens.  Damn rainbow …

I knew for sure those happy colors were going to touch me … brighten my mood … even the sunshine only came out today when I wasn’t looking!  I just saw it as it went back behind the clouds.  I’m the one who wanted sunshine … I’m the one who wanted that damn rainbow to come on into my life.

I wonder why I couldn’t have both today … they were out there but, not … for me.  The sunshine and rainbow … went straight past me … never stopping for a moment.  The sunshine hid behind the clouds … the rainbow broke into a million pieces!  Damn that rainbow!

 

 

I don’t ‘know’ who this is but … that’s just the way I have felt today.  The sun didn’t shine for me as I thought … damn rainbow shattered all to Hell.  I’m not responsible for that facial expression.  Damn rainbow …

 

 

Note by this Author:

This is just the way life is sometimes.  Not every rainbow is meant for me … the sunshine has to shine for someone else, too.  The only thing is … it bothers me when a rainbow shatters into pieces.  I’ll say it again … damn that rainbow!

Now!  I said it!  I’ll let it go now.  Photos/story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  Damn rainbow!

I Never Saw it Coming … I’m on a New Journey in Life


I Never Saw it Coming … I’m on a New Journey in Life

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee

 

 

 

I’ve been missing in action for a short time.  I’ll tell you why … it seems I’m on an unexpected journey … another twist in my life … I never saw it coming.  Not only that … I can’t believe it happened.

 

 

What can I do about it?  Is there anything to learn from it all?  Will I just lay down … whine, cry ‘woe is me’?  Won’t you feel sorry for me?

 

 

Do redwood trees bow to the ground when a storm whips through?

 

 

Hell no … they hold their ground … their mighty strength holds their trunks up … they weather the storm no matter how rough it is.  When you think of … Gloria/Granny Gee … think of redwood tree.

 

 

Don’t ever feel sorry for me.  I never feel sorry for me.  When life throws these twists/turns in my life … after the initial shock … like someone who has been thrown hard to the ground from a horse … as soon as I can get my breath … my ass comes up off that ground (never mind I’m crawling, grasping at something to hold on to) … I am coming back up!  I mean it … I am ready to fight my ass off to be alright again.

 

 

How many battles have I fought in my life?  Many, many battles of all kinds.  This isn’t my first one … but, I smile here … I always hope its my last battle to fight.

 

 

I would like to sail through the rest of my life without any battles, sickness … see how it feels to just live a normal life like a lot of people do.  If I can’t … so be it … you are going to see me fight like a warrior to live.  All Hell’s going to break out … until I win … until I’m the champion.  I’m going to win!

 

 

The storm might take branches off here, there … scarring the redwood tree’s body.  It’s still going to stand strong, mighty … and as the sun dries the raindrops off its limbs … you will see the strength in its form … you might even see a smile reflecting in the raindrops as they dry away.  Think of me … life has made me this way.

 

 

I may be very strong … don’t be surprised if you see a few tears flow down my face.  Just because someone is strong doesn’t mean … it hurts less.  Sometimes … that extra pain life throws at me … hurts … really hurts.  Yes, like you … I cry my share of tears.  Does it mean I’m weak?

 

 

Oh, Hell no!  I might be weak for a short time until that second breath comes in … then, you will see me go into action.  I’m going to get to a point I can deal/cope with what’s ahead of me.

 

 

Now … why have I been ‘missing in action’?  On October 3rd, 2015 … Skip and I decided to have Chinese food at a favorite restaurant.  It’s a buffet-type restaurant … the people are so friendly.  It is a place we always loved to go to.

 

 

The manager was showing us to the table … when all of a sudden … my feet went out from under me … I vaguely remember coming down on my left knee … oh my God!  the excruciating pain!  I heard my bone break … so did Skip, and the manager.

 

 

The next thing I know I was sitting flat on the floor in pure agony, shock.  The pain!  It’s the first time I never saw a fall coming so, I could try to prevent it.  It’s the first time in my life … I never even thought to jump up, look around to see who was looking.

 

 

I sat there, stunned.  I could hear the concern from both Skip, and the manager.  I began crying … I began crying in front of people … I began crying in … public.  Oh my!  This is something I never do … I didn’t even feel embarrassed … I just … cried.

 

 

The manager took me in his vehicle to the hospital Emergency Room.  Skip followed.  Our pickup truck was too high to get in … the pain in my left leg, knee was too great … I couldn’t bend it to get in.  When I finally got in … I was to the point of … screaming out in pain.  Somehow, I managed not to … I sat there … and cried silently.

 

 

My left knee was x-rayed … the knee cap was broken.   They put a stabilizer on it … and gave me crutches, a prescription for pain medicine.  This is where it stands.

 

 

The manager kept saying he’d told the owner to fix the floors before someone fell … he called the manager while I was sitting in the chair they helped me in.  The manager came quickly … he had rolls of carpet in his arms ( I remember seeing that through my pain) … he began putting them down quickly.

 

 

The manager also, said they had good insurance … not to worry … everything would be alright.  Well … it isn’t alright.

 

 

As it stands … I need medical attention … and no orthopedic doctor will touch me unless I have hundreds of dollars to pay up front … they have to consider it ‘self-pay’ … they have no one to bill the medical treatment to.

 

 

Like many people … I don’t have that kind of extra money.  I have been turned down quite a few times now, I have called a list of doctors … each one says the same thing.  No one will see me. I have worked in the business office at a hospital … things have changed a lot ‘now’.

 

 

Am I upset?  Well, I know I haven’t had medical attention for something serious since the accident on October 3rd … today is October 7th.  I am afraid it could affect my walking ability later … I can feel the toll it’s taking on my body.  Not only that … I know I’m hurt in other places … but, until I have more x-rays I can’t say just yet.

 

 

I have been afraid … I won’t lie.  This is real life … life we all live if we aren’t wealthy.  This is what people like me have to go through … the embarrassment on top of being turned down … doctor after doctor if you don’t have hundreds of dollars in cash to pay as soon as you walk in the door.  They want it before someone is treated to make sure they get it.  So, for now … I wait.

 

 

I know, I know … get someone to get the insurance information, policy number.  All I will say is … it is in the process.  I pray there really is insurance to help me, and the manager told us the truth.

 

 

Sometimes, unfortunately … when people aren’t from this country … they can go back where they come from … I pray they are like me, they will do what’s right.  I really liked all of them … yes, I know … it has nothing to do with liking people ‘now’ … I need medical attention.

 

 

So … this is where I ‘stand’ … at this very moment … in the process of praying for the insurance information so, I can get medical attention for my broken knee cap.

 

 

The strange thing is … you know how I’ve written about my Grandma Alma many times through the past years … I am thinking of her as I’m experiencing this.  She was paralyzed for over 20 years … I remember seeing her do her best to walk … as a little girl I would be very sad for her.  I didn’t understand … but, did understand enough to see tears in her eyes and know somehow, she was in pain.  I knew I didn’t want her to fall … I would stay close by.

 

 

‘Now’ … I think of my Grandma Alma as I try to walk … and I’m injured … not paralyzed.  I will get better … but, my Heart cries for her each step I take.  My poor, precious Grandma Alma.

 

 

Well, this certainly is how things happen out of the blue … this is how life can take a twist/turn unexpectedly.  This is how one can be thrown on another road in life … and never see it coming.

 

 

All that is left to do now … is to do the very best I can.  I was on one road in life … losing weight, self-improvement … now, my road has become entwined with another road … of seeing how it feels ‘not to walk very well’ … until my knee cap can heal, get medical attention for it.

 

 

Can I walk both roads at the same time?  I’m going to … I’m not giving up on what I made my mind up to do … I will lose this weight, and I will recover from the knee injury.

 

 

Like Rhonda Rousey … I’m going into the ring … and kick some ass!  I want to be alright once again. Oh by the way … I love Rhonda Rousey, and admire her.  She came a long ways in her life.  I don’t fight physically like she does … but, mentally and emotionally … I’m one Hell of a fighter … just like her.

 

 

I was thinking to tell you all … just be careful where you step.  You never know what will slip you up in life, derail you from the road you are traveling on …. put you on another road to go down.  I never even saw this coming.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

I’m not feeling self-pity … all I’ve written is true.  I have shared this experience … and I know there must be other people who have, or are experiencing such as I am.  I have heard of being turned down by doctors …

 

As of today … I have been turned down in this one year by doctors because of money I didn’t have … so, ‘now’ … I know it is true.  It’s sad.

 

I’m going to be alright … one way or other.  I will be glad when the day comes … I can look back on this.  I will be glad when everything is okay once again.

 

Photo/true story owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/ #@GeeGranny

 

Damn that Bump!


Damn that Bump!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/aka GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee on Facebook.com/grannygee …. @GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

We were driving through a parking lot that had bumps in it to slow cars down.  Now, I hate those bumps … especially since I’ve been through several surgeries.  To this day … a bump can still cause me to hurt.  It goes through my body … very painful.

 

Skip was driving and as he drove slowly over each bump, he told me he knew the bumps hurt me … he also, knew I didn’t like them.  I didn’t say anything and tensed up … for another painful … bump.

 

Several bumps in a row … hurt so bad!  I tensed up, and as soon as he drove over the next bump I told Skip … “that hurt so bad!”

 

What was so funny …  that bump and several more after that one … were just … painted on the pavement!

 

Damp that bump!  It didn’t hurt at all!

 

 

 

Note by this Author:    Funny how something can be painted to look like the real thing … and affect one just like the real thing!  Ha! Ha! Ha!

Photos, true story written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

Hire Me a Crowd


Hire Me a Crowd …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

 

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

Hire me a crowd to cheer for me

Love me, adore and idolize me

As long as I have them … I don’t need you

Smile at me like I’m number one

Look up to me, pledge loyalty

Hire me a crowd to worship me

Pat me on the back … job well done

Cameras rolling … there’s no doubt I’m the one

I’m the greatest … proof is the crowd who comes to see

Vote for me … you can’t go wrong

Proof’s in the crowd who has come to see

Look at the numbers … I am the one

Sh-hhh, don’t say that for anyone to hear!

They don’t know I had to hire a crowd to come

No one knows … no one would have come … not even one!

I had to hire a crowd for me

To show how popular I am you see

No one ever knowing not even one would come see me

This is the trend in today’s time

Nothing is ever as it appears on tv

No one knowing better … the crowd’s been hired by me

We all know everything we see on tv

Is true … never no doubt

That’s why … I hired a crowd, you see

Vote for me as your president

I’ll lead you somewhere … don’t know where yet

I want to look my best to my crowd … I’ll think about that later

When I get to be president I’ll learn what to do

For now, I’m most popular, idolized

Proof’s in the crowd I hired for you to see!

 

 

 

Note by this Author … photos/poem owned and written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I was inspired to write this by something I saw on the news this morning.  I couldn’t believe, yet in today’s time … nothing is ever what it appears to be.  I should have known this was happening, also.

People go the easy way, cheat to get to where they are going … never batting an eye or feeling guilty.  No matter how fair, not fair … they get away with doing this.  Money is the name of the game.

It’s sad because when we vote someone into office … we look at the crowds around them, see how they react towards the candidate.  When you hire a crowd, you’ll get the best … they’ll love you to death, and give a good showing.  So, how can one lose when ‘everyone loves you’ … proof is in the crowd, you see.