I Need Words That Turn into Arrows to Point the Way in the Right Direction …


 

 

 

Email:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com

Facebook.com/grannygee

 

 

 

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

Life is too real … yes, it really is.  It’s full of challenges, twists … turns … obstacles in one’s path.

 

You take many journeys in life … events happen … unexpected events … life-changing events.  Each time something happens … you, your life … everything changes in some way.  Life isn’t ever the same again.

 

Sometimes, and best … are the little things that happen in Life.  You know … the things we can fix … do something about.  These are the events we’d rather have.

 

The events that happen … boom!  right out of the blue … these are the scary events.  These are the events that are life-altering … have to do with life-threatening illnesses, accidents.  A lot of times, we can recover from them with little change … a lot of times, completely life-changing.

 

The life-changing events can be so drastic as to make a person lose everything they have … quality of life goes all the way down … even to being homeless.

 

If you don’t go homeless … there are other scary things … being near homeless, hard to get medicines one needs … get nutritous foods to keep one’s health up … to stay warm, cool.  Buying gas to go to the doctor, supermarket.  Paying co-pays so, a doctor won’t quit seeing you (we had that happen … a cardiologist at that).  Scary.

 

Such things as I’ve mentioned … these are the things one has a time trying to recover from … sometimes, never recovering from them.  I can’t think of all to name here … but, I’m sure many of you who read here … know more things.

 

Other things to change one’s life are when you lose everything you’ve got … due to medicals bills, just trying to survive.  We did this when we both had cancer … I had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and my husband … Colon Cancer.  When we did begin recovering … we lost everything to a house-fire.  We were left at the mercy of the world.

 

Another time … my husband was in a tractor-trailer accident out in New Mexico.

 

Then … one by one … my family members began dying … the very people I loved with my Heart, my very favorite people whom I knew loved me.  This included my mother, brother, father, grandmother … a step-mother who might have in a way (didn’t matter, I really did love her), uncles, aunts, cousins … then, several of our friends.

 

One after one … they kept dying.  One cousin hit a log truck head-on during passing a car … she died instantly (she was trying to help us get on our feet after the house fire) … her brother, one of my cousins I loved dearly as a child … died with a gunshot to his head (supposedly suicide).

 

On and on … the deaths happened just like cards being dealt.  I have no one now left in my family that I can be close to.  They all live their lives, I live mine.  We go in peace.

 

These are just examples of life events, journeys in life.  All were awful … took so long to cope with … some I never got to cope with properly … because one after one kept happening … and then …

 

The worst of any of those things … was the evening a man, complete stranger rung our phone to say, “ma’am, I have a collapsed man here who isn’t breathing.”

 

My only child, my son … had gone on vacation with his family to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

 

Tommy (my son) … told me the evening before how he was looking forward to playing with his 3 year old son for the first time ever at the ocean.  His face was lit up like the sunshine … he was excited … I felt his excitement.  We were smiling happily while he told me.

 

The next evening, May 29, 2010 … Saturday evening … Tommy did get to play with Taban, my grandson … for a few minutes before he died there on the sand.  He’d been sending me photos, video to my computer.

 

A group of people watched this tall, blonde-headed guy run, play and laugh with a little blonde-headed boy who looked just like him.  Laughter, squeals of delight … as the waves came in to wash around their feet.

 

Tommy collapsed on the sand … thankfully, the people saw something was wrong, hurried over to protect my little grandson.  He was all alone … as his daddy’s soul drifted up to Heaven.  He could hear the sea gulls singing as he called his daddy.

 

I’ll stop here … this was the worst of worst to ever happen to me in my life.  I stopped living for 3 years … I was the walking dead … I had already died … inside.  Life stopped for me when I became aware of the meaning of the words the stranger was trying to tell me over the phone … the end, that was it.

 

I’ve never taken drugs … but, I do recall the last thing I said to my husband, Skip … before going into the darkness.  I told him to please take me to the hospital and let them drug me.

 

I couldn’t live with such knowledge inside me … I was trapped inside myself … my son was dead!  My son had died!  Oh my God, my son!  My son, Tommy!  I could not stay awake to know that … drug me until I’m not here anymore.

 

Unknowingly at that time … Skip told me later about standing at times to listen to me breathe … he was afraid I would die … I was taking the medicine because I couldn’t bear to face the daylight … I had to hide in darkness.

 

I vaguely remember Skip begging me not to take the medicine anymore … “please don’t take it, Baby Girl”.  I couldn’t … not take it.  God knows what would have happened if I had.

 

Anyway … you get the idea of what I mean about journeys, life-changing events.  I’ve lived real life … I’ve lived more life-changing events than anyone knows … some I’ll never reveal, they’ll go to the grave with me.

 

I made it … I’m still here … something inside me kept fighting to survive when I really died inside to I didn’t know I was still living.

 

I’m not the only one to suffer, go through pain and grief mostly in life.  Where you probably have had a normal, good life without such things happening in your life … maybe one or two things … mine has had more than I could count.

 

I’ve been reeling … constantly getting back to my feet where Life has slammed me into the ground all through my time here on earth.

 

I’m just realizing at this time in my life that I’ve become an OLD-ass woman … can you believe how time’s gone by?  During all the crisises in my life … I wasn’t ever aware of how I was growing older.  Isn’t that damn-amazing?

 

Now … I’m on another road in Life … on another journey.  I’m having to learn my way on how to navigate being OLD.  I’m on the OLD road in Life.  Especially now … I’ve got to learn in a hurry what to do.  I’m not OLD but … old.

 

Skip has had a stroke … I almost lost him a couple weeks ago … he had complete 3rd degree heart block (electrical activity in the heart where the upper chamber communicates with the lower chamber … his wasn’t doing that).

 

Skip just got a pacemaker to help his heart beat as it should … he isn’t well, is recovering now.  The stroke did something to his left eye, he is still having headaches.  He has diabetic neuropathy in his feet/diabetes.

 

I have my own medical conditions I have to cope with on a daily basis.  For now, I am having to be the strongest.  I take care of Skip, and our Pups.  No matter what I have to go through … I will focus on caring for them.  They are my whole world … they are all I have left in this world.

 

So, that means Skip can’t work … no income.  I have to find a way to get help.  Get help with rent … food … medical … gas to go back and forwards to the doctors.  I’ve applied for food, medical … I won’t know for a week or so, if I get it or not.  I pray that I do … for once we are really desperate … it’s a crisis.

 

When I asked for help with the rent … it was at closing time … the Spanish girl wanted to go home.  Everyone at the office there was excited at the pending snowstorm heading our way.  They were walking out the door to go home … only the Spanish girl had to stay … until the last person … being me, and my very sick husband.

 

She met us with a cold expression, took us down a long hall to her office.  She wasn’t interested in anything I said … I sensed she just wanted us to be gone.  She wanted to go home.  I asked her for resources for seniors … for help to pay rent … some direction to go to get help.

 

I’ll never forget the Spanish girl looking up at me, saying “go to a shelter, but … I don’t know where there’s one.”  I sat there stunned … my poor, sick husband sat there stunned.

 

She wanted us to go, leave so she could go home … we did, and she almost beat us getting to her car in the parking lot.  I was just opening the door to get in when she rushed past us … I told my husband to look.

 

This is another of those life-altering events that I have no manuel, no direction in which to turn.  I don’t know what to do … what do I do?

 

Where will I go first?  How do I keep from hurting when someone steps on my pride?  Makes me feel bad for asking for help when I’ve waited too long to.

 

What happened to the other seniors before me … who were disabled, desperate for help?  Were they sent away to a dark hole, box?  Where are they?  I asked the Spanish girl … “what happened to them?”  Who did they go to … to get help, direction?

 

I mean, it was this young, Spanish girl whom we were sent to … to get this type of help.  I told her we were sent from the front to her, and were given hope … she told me, “well, it’s this way … they don’t know how I operate back here … I don’t know how they operate up front.”

 

They might tell you … you can get help with your rent … but, they’re wrong.”

 

How can I argue that with her without looking bad?  Or appear to be making a scene?  When it was past time for her to go home?  I didn’t … we left, feeling hopeless.

 

The thought of going to shelters, being separated from each other … our two Pups that are our entire life being taken away from us … in our minds.

 

We were crushed.  She never smiled at us the first time … she never offered words of comfort … hope.  Cold … blank face … uncaring.

 

I haven’t gotten through this new journey I’m on … I’ve just stepped onto the road … I am seeing roads ahead … the signs are blank.  I don’t know which way to go.

 

I will have to make decisions blindly … unless someone can speak out, tell me.  I understand people in our situation might not want to talk … afraid it could affect them in their life … mess up the even keel they finally got on.

 

In the meantime … we have to live … but very soon, we’ve got to have financial help to buy gas to go find help, go to doctor appointments, eat … to stay in the home we live in (rental), to buy water to drink (we can’t drink water from the tap).

 

I’m not going to beg, whine, cry to get help … I’m not doing that now.  I don’t feel sorry for myself … I was knocked to the ground again by Life … I’ve dusted my pants off … I’m standing up … holding my ground here.  I just need solid advice … some sure-fire direction to go in … not what someone ‘thinks someone did’ … but, seriously … what did they do to find real help.  I’m living real Life … I need to know.  I know I’m not the only one who has had to do this.

 

My email address is:   gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com  … if you can offer solid advice (it has to be for North Carolina) … won’t you please email me, tell me?

 

We hope to stay here in the same rental house we moved to after my son’s death … it feels like home, safe … good neighbors who mean the world to us.

 

I’m not asking for anyone’s money, material things … just for words that will be my arrows to point the direction to get the help we need.

 

Just words that will be arrows to point in the direction of help.  You don’t have to give me your names … if you do, I promise to respect your privacy.  I’m on a new road … I just don’t want to get lost.

 

 

 

Note by this Author:

 

Photo/true story (January 2016) owned, written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

I have written our situation in hopes of someone knowing what to do … will contact me … tell me.  I’m not asking for anything else … just words that turn into arrows to point the way to help on this new road I’ve just gotten onto.  Thank you in advance.  Gloria/Granny Gee.

 

Email:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com    …..  (my private email address)

 

Black Widow Spiders!


Black Widow Spiders!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

Photo of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee … Owned by me.  You don’t want to be bitten by a Black Widow spider!

Not long ago, when Skip was out on a big truck, he was in an area where one had to use the portable toliets provided to the workers. He didn’t like to use them … in this case, it was a ‘had to’…

His experience should be a lesson to us all … look around you if, when you have to go … in a portable toliet!

He went inside, and as he took care of business, his eyes were drawn to the corner of the toliet. Lo, and behold … there were spiders there! Not just any spider ….

There were young Black Widow spiders moving around. Skip said he got the heck out of Dodge!

He went to the supervisor there, told him about it. Someone could be bitten by a Black Widow spider. The supervisor placed yellow tape around the toliet to prevent someone going in there.

Have you ever been bitten by a Black Widow spider? I was bitten as a very young child … the spider was beautiful with the red on it. Of course, I was attracted to the color … innocent of what a Black Widow was.

I do remember my arm being on fire, and the Emergency Room. I’ve been deathly afraid of Black Widows, and any spider since. I can’t even put my finger on one … in a photo!

Photo/Story owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee

 

The Room Hated Me… It Didn’t Want Me In It! It May Have Been Another Portal… To Hell!


The Room Hated Me… Didn’t Want Me In It!

It May Have Been Another Portal… To Hell!

 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I was going room to room.  Oh, what a wonderful house!  I already loved the yard.  There were already beautiful flowers that would cost a ‘pretty penny’ to buy, plant… growing in beautiful flower gardens.

 

There was a circular driveway…. outside buildings.  The house had lots of wonderful windows.  I was hoping it had a lot of electrical outlets.  The house proved to have everything we all wanted… it was the perfect house!

 

Tommy and his girlfriend, Skip and I were looking at a huge house we were interesting in renting… sharing expenses.  I was like a little girl, running to this room… that room.  I loved the house!

 

The kitchen was huge…. it had lots of counter space.  Not only that, it had a bar to sit at on stools.  It was perfect.

 

There were five bedrooms… I could have one for my art room.  Skip would have one for his study/office.  We’d each have a huge bedroom… wonderful!  Not only that… each had their own bathrooms… nice, big bathrooms.

 

I knew deep inside … ‘this was the house’.  This was the house I wanted to live in.  I went ahead of everyone to explore, find more special things about the house.

 

I came to a door way… I stepped through it into a hallway, turned to the left… walked a short distance.  I began to feel differently… it seemed darker, here.  I didn’t pay it any mind… I loved this house!

 

I saw a room to my left… I walked to the open doorway… I stood there, looking.  Oh, it was a wonderful, old-timey room!  I loved such rooms in old houses.  Someone had built the house onto this part of an old house!  Special!

 

Across the room stood an old rock fireplace.  It had an old wooden mantelpiece.  The room was almost bare.  It still had its old wooden floor.  What a neat room!  I was excited about it… I stepped inside to look around.

 

Instantly… I felt fear.  I was very afraid in this part of the house alone.  Immediately, I stepped back out into the hallway… the feeling went away almost at once.

 

I stood there, thinking.  I knew I didn’t have to be afraid.  Tommy, Terri, his girlfriend… Skip were close by.  I could hear them talking, laughing.  I told myself it was my imagination.

 

I decided I would enter the room once again.  I walked back into the room, meaning to walk across to the old fireplace.  I wanted to touch the old rocks, let my hand feel the coolness.  I wanted to touch the old wooden mantelpiece, even knowing it was dusty.

 

I never made it that far.  I couldn’t go forward.  I was scared to death… the fear was so over-powering.  I put my hand to my heart… I was feeling breathless.  I felt cold chills on my arms…. my mind was telling me to get out of there.

 

I ‘knew’ at that moment …there wasn’t any way I could ever live in this house.  Never!  Ever!  I felt fear for my life!

 

As soon as I stepped quickly out of the room… I felt fine.  It was like it had never happened.  I could hear Tommy, Terri, Skip coming…. I would watch their reaction… and walk into the room with them… it would be alright, then.

 

I didn’t say anything to them… I wanted to see if they felt fear like I did.  I was going to walk right into that room again… I wasn’t alone, now!  It was probably my imagination.

 

I let them walk in front of me, listening to them comment on the ‘old part’ of this house.  They loved it just as I did!  I followed them into the room, knowing everything would be alright…

 

I didn’t make it far… I had to step back outside.  I was fine once I got outside the doorway.  I watched everyone as they laughed, talked while looking around.  I never did make it to that beautiful old fireplace…. I couldn’t.  They got to touch it, enjoy looking at it.

 

Skip turned around to share it with me… saw I was outside the room.  He knew something was wrong.  He asked me why didn’t I come inside… I told him I couldn’t.

 

Tommy and his girlfriend turned to look at me… I told them the room made me afraid.  I didn’t know what I was afraid of.

 

They asked me to come back in the room… I didn’t want to.  I forced myself to step through the doorway… I had to turn around, get out of there!

 

I told them that I couldn’t live there… when alone there, I would be afraid of this room!  I saw disappointment cross their faces.  I couldn’t help it… the room terrified me.

 

I was scared of …. what… I didn’t know.  The room hated me… didn’t want me in it!  It may have been another… portal to Hell.

 

 

Note by this author:

 

We used to pass by that house… I’d look up on the hill where it stood.  How beautiful it was, until I looked toward the older part it was built onto.  I felt fear.

 

I learned that the house was torn down… I still don’t know the reason… why.  I sure would like to know.  It may have been another portal to… Hell.

One Never Knows… It Could Be The Road To… Hell


 

One Never Knows… It Could Be The Road To… Hell
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

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Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee… 2013

 

Can you imagine… someone cutting a heart out of a body? Cutting a leg off, sewing it into the place of an arm… onto a person’s body? An arm sewed into the place of a leg?

No one knows if this is happening … somewhere in the world. Have you ever thought about all the little lanes, roads you pass on your way home, on the way to town… wondered… ‘what’s down them?’

Maybe you drive by them, never noticing them… wondering what’s at the end? Could it be an old, abandoned house … where someone is doing… ‘God knows what’….

Think about it… have you ever wondered if roads, lanes lead to … missing people? I have… I just don’t have the nerve to go down a road, path… not knowing what I will find. Do you?

I remember years ago, going down a path while living in Florida… I was fascinated by the orange trees… wanted to drive among them.

It’s a wonder I got to come back out of that path… I knew something was wrong when I got to the end…. sinister-looking Cuban men were standing there watching me as I drove up. I could hear chickens making noises… I didn’t know anything about cock-fighting, then…..

I felt fear… I had nowhere to go but, drive up to them… so, I could turn around. I put on my brightest smile as I stopped… I began telling them I was trying to find someone’s address… and was lost. I had no choice but, to follow the road once I got on it.

I saw the men change expressions… their eyes hard… dangerous. I still smiled at them… thankfully, they told me I could turn around… which way they thought I should go. As I turned around, drove past them… I was so thankful to be going out of that road. When I reached the highway… I breathed a sigh of relief.

I vowed ‘never to go down an unknown road again’. This is how people… go missing. Later in time, as I grew older… understood more… I realized how fortunate I was… I knew I had stumbled into a world I didn’t want to know… a scary world.

Strange how the ‘big picture’ unfolds later into life. Strange… how the dots… connect. It made me notice all the …unknown roads, lanes I go by every day. I wonder what’s down them… could it be where some serial murderer has his hiding place… to cut someone’s heart out… beat, rape someone… cut their legs, arms off?

I bet you’ll pay attention to all the unknown roads, paths you pass by every day… ‘now’. One never knows… it could be the road to … Hell.

 

Note by Author: We never know what lays down an unknown path… it could change one’s life… don’t go! Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

It Goes To Show … There’s Always Someone … Who Wants What You Want


It Goes To Show… There’s Always Someone … Who Wants What You Want
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

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Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …2013

 

I heard a struggle going on behind the door. I felt a sick sensation spread like a dark, inky pool in my stomach. I bent over from the power of it. I slowly straightened back up. I knew what was going on… there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I put my fingers in my ears… I didn’t want to hear. Didn’t want to hear the thuds going on behind that door. A gasp, a moan… I knew it would be over soon.

Soon… we’d have fresh meat. I was starving for fresh meat. It had been so long. The water was boiling in the big pot on the stove. In a few minutes, chunks of fresh meat would dropped… chunk by chunk. My mouth salivated… I licked my tongue on my lips. It’s not everyday I got meat like this.

I heard the door opened… I felt excitement when I saw him stand there in the doorway. Blood was dripping red onto the floor at his feet. He was grinning as he held his hands out. Big chunks of red, bloody meat sat in a pile on both palms of his hands.

He walked into the kitchen, to the sink. “Don’t wash the blood off”, I cried. I wanted to taste the pure red of the blood, feel the kill… as the last breath left the body of our prey.

I loved blood… it was the giver of life to me. I thrived on blood… wasted away when I couldn’t have it. My mouth watered, I wanted to savor the red… the red. Oh my God, I wanted the pure red… from the blood.

In fact, some of the meat wouldn’t be making its way into the pot of boiling water. I grabbed a chunk of meat from the sink where he had laid it. Like a greedy baby for a cookie, I crammed it in my mouth. I began sucking the blood… holding it inside my mouth. I savored it like there was no tomorrow.

My eyes were closed, my mouth perched tightly around the flavor of pure red… it was pure heaven as I sucked the blood slowly from my teeth, let it go down my throat slowly. I wanted to taste it forever.

I tasted it forever, until I opened my eyes just in time to see… the bloody ax come down on my head. I became the prey… the pure red blood someone else wanted to savor.

It’s a dog eat dog world. There’s someone always bigger, better than the next. No one is invincible… it goes to show, there’s always someone … who wants what you want.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Note by Author:

When writing… when letting the words flow where they will… one never knows what will happen. I let the words flow… and they even scared myself… until at the end when the twist came… I laughed. I never know what I’m going to write … it is what it is.

 

Taboo… Drinking Blood


TABOO… Drinking Blood

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

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Fuzzy and happy..2 shot glasses full… juices left over from a steak… the essence of another…mating ritual… giving a part of your spirit, your energy… vamping out, severe cravings for…………………………………………..

Blood. I have been watching a documentary on vampire ‘people’. I’ve been watching them put little ‘Xs’ on the skin, criss-crossing the skin with a razor… and drinking the blood before it cools. I can’t even imagine ‘drinking someone’s blood’. I’ve been watching them ‘slurp’ it up!

I won’t knock it because… it might be good, but, I can say I don’t want to be … full of someone else’s red-red

blood! I would waste it by getting sick. One woman says ‘it’s just a part of life’. They say that drinking blood is a way of ’embracing life’.

I think I would rather hug someone, and let that be my way of embracing life. I think I’ll let my hugs be my ‘part of life’.

I was thinking of the disadvantages ‘for me to drink your blood’….

First of all, if any dripped out of my mouth when I was savoring it… it would drip red on ‘everything’! I would have a hard time getting the bloodstains out…and gracious, suppose someone knocked at the door! Would I go to answer the door with a bloody smile? It might be good if there are people there with ill intentions…. they’d be scared of me’, instead me scared of them… they would ‘know I might bite them!’ I bite… anyway! :)))

Red isn’t my favorite color, though I like it! But… I don’t want your blood! You might need it! I don’t want to need your blood, nor do I want to crave it!

I was thinking that if there were a lot of ‘bloodsuckers’ in a crowd… and someone accidentally got cut…. would everyone rush with their mouths open, tongues flicking in and out in anticipation to get your blood? Seems like there is a danger of being ‘sucked up’.

I can think of a lot of situations people have ‘blood’… like in hospital… one’s IVs. Can you imagine someone who needs some blood standing there with that ‘craving gleam’ in their eyes, a little crazy half-grin on their lips, that ole tongue licking their lips? In and out… in and out……………………………………………………………..

I can ‘see’ it now… they pull that little razor out and put an ‘X’ on your bag of blood… and stick a straw in it, suck out a couple shot glasses of it, put a band aid over the hole to seal it up. You are lying there watching in disbelief, all the while thinking you are ‘high’ on medicines! Who are you going to tell, what are you going to say? Press the call button to tell the nurse ‘hey, someone is in here with a straw in my bag of blood sucking it all gone!’ Of course, she wouldn’t believe you.

I don’t like the metallic taste of blood. Yes, I’ve tasted blood, I know you have too. Oh my gosh, I wouldn’t want to crave blood and someone’s ‘nose began to bleed’! I wouldn’t want to suck a nose!

I’m thinking now… I don’t knock those vampires but, I don’t want to be one. I have respect for everyone else’s beliefs. It doesn’t mean I believe in them, or want to practice them. I’m not ever going to let anyone see my nose bleed! One never knows who is watching… or how fast someone could… jump on your nose! :)))

Yes… I know this sounds silly, but…I, like you…. sometimes have very silly thoughts. Someone could be standing close by… with that ‘craving gleam’ in their eyes, that little crazy half-grin, that ole tongue flicking …in and out, in and out…. in and out! Oh, I’m going to watch my nose, too! You just might want to watch yours… too!

I wonder what that man is looking at…standing over there… he seems to be … is his tongue flicking over his lips.. why, I wonder ‘if’ that’s a crazy, little grin on … his mouth? His eyes….. wait a minute… he’s not craving blood… I think he is just chewing on his gum! :)))

REAL HAUNTED HOUSE…


REAL HAUNTED HOUSE…
BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

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Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

“Yes, a real haunted house!” My cousin, Raymond, told me about a real haunted house. I didn’t believe a house could be haunted!

We were young teenagers wanting something to make us feel a thrill. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. We were fifteen, Raymond was sixteen. He could drive.

Raymond and his girlfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend, were going to the haunted house that night. Raymond asked me if I’d like to come along.

Of course, I wanted to see a real haunted house. At the moment it was in the middle of the day… they were on the way to look at this house in the daylight. I wanted to go with them. “Come on, let’s go!” Raymond invited me. I jumped in the back seat of his car, he took off!

I felt excitement, even just a little fear in my stomach. A ‘real’ haunted house! I’ve never been to a real haunted house! In fact, I’d never gotten to do much of anything in my teenage years. I wasn’t allowed to do anything excepting go to school, and just live in hell everyday of my life. It seemed to me someone would have been glad to let me go do things, maybe never come back to be a bother to them…. you know, just disappear.

I wasn’t even allowed to get a part-time job! All the other kids in my DE class were getting part-time jobs… excepting me. I felt anger that I couldn’t. Looking back now… how sad that I wasn’t allowed to begin growing into my own… I was too sheltered…. too sheltered in hell. Anything seemed like heaven when I was away.

I could have gotten into alot of trouble ‘if’ I’d known ‘what to get into!’ Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t do that! That’s not saying I was perfect. I was in trouble for a short time in my life when I was a little older, wrong people… wrong place… wrong time. I know how well something like that can happen. I was someone who never wanted to be in ‘real’ trouble. Young people can be led so easily, they believe in their idols, their peers and think they can do no wrong.

“Don’t drive so fast!” I told Raymond to slow down, he was driving fast down that dirt road. We were somewhere in Wake Forest, North Carolina… only he knew where we were going.

Raymond slowed down and turned right onto a dirt path leading up to an old, old house. The boards looked dark grey, some of the windows were broken. It was overgrown with briars, and vines and trees. No one had lived here for a while.

We got out of the car and began to walk up to the house. The steps were broken and one couldn’t walk up on them, the steps had rotted out. One could gingerly step up on the sides of them to make it up on the porch where….

The boards were mostly missing on that porch and I could see down through the holes. How in the world can one get into that front door without falling through to the ground, and God knows what else!

Raymond and his best friend held onto the doorway and managed to jump across the hole there. They began helping us girls by holding their hands out to us, saying they would help us inside. We got inside and began to explore the first floor.

We all began going our own ways, each finding something that interested us. I had never been in a house that was as old as this. It had a fireplace that fascinated me… it was beautiful to me! I saw an old book lying on the dusty floor. I picked it up to look inside to maybe… see a name? No, no name in this dusty old book.

I could hear the voices of Raymond, his best friend and his girlfriend. They were laughing and chattering away. I went to find them.

They were upstairs… one had to be so careful navigating those steps! They were dangerous, holes in them, the wood was thin in places from age.

I made it up the steps… finally. I walked to the window at the head of them. I looked out over the roof, to the window to my right… to see inside of the room there. I only saw bare walls and a dusty floor. It was empty.

I looked to my left…. feeling shock as I did! I couldn’t believe my eyes… there was a rope with a noose on the end of it…hanging from the center of the ceiling. My knees felt weak and I felt afraid. I wanted to go away from here. I wondered if Raymond and the others saw this!

I walked to my left, looking for the door to that room with the noose….. there wasn’t a door at all there in that hall that opened into that room! I couldn’t understand that. I walked down the hall to the only doorway on the left… that was at the front of the house, it was a dusty room with bare walls. Raymond and his friends were in here.

“Did you see the noose hanging from the ceiling?” Raymond asked me what noose? His eyes showed just a little fear when I asked him. He was brave, but… Raymond could scare easily! I felt more fear when I saw Raymond’s eyes, he could be scared easily but, not as easily as I could be.

“Come on, I’ll show you! I can’t find the door to that room!” I walked into the hall. I took my hand and touched the wall as we walked back to the big window in front of the stairs leading back down. I bumped the wall, I told Raymond that I couldn’t understand where the door would be to the room I knew was behind there!

We all walked to the window at the back of the house, in front of the staircase that led down…. I pointed to the room to the left. No one could believe what they saw…. a bare room with dust on the floor, and a rope noose hanging from the ceiling. Immediately, the guys turned to look down the hall, puzzled to where a door would be. There wasn’t a door.

We grew tired of wondering and made our way back down those rotten, old steps. We let the guys go first out the front door, they reached to help us girls to get back onto the porch. Thankfully, no one fell in that hole there… it was about four feet down if one fell into it.

We piled up in Raymond’s car and drove slowly away. All of us were looking up at that old house.. we were on the left side of it where the room was with that rope noose. We could see windows up there…. I was wondering ‘where was the door to that room with the noose?’

Raymond said we’d all go that night back to that haunted house. Didn’t that rope noose prove that it was haunted? It was strange to see a noose hanging from the ceiling like that. Yes, we all knew ‘we had to go back’ that night! People are braver when in numbers.

That evening as it was getting dark, we drove down the dirt road toward the haunted house. I was feeling afraid, I was having second thoughts. The guys were talking brave-talk… how they weren’t afraid of nothing.

The moonlight was beautiful, I was so glad that the moon was out. I’m afraid of the dark… I know ‘bad’ things can happen in the dark. I know.

Raymond slowed down on the side of the road instead of driving into the driveway. I was so glad he wasn’t driving up to that haunted house! I was feeling nervous, my hands felt shaky, my heart was pounding. I think I wanted to go now… I might see something I don’t want to see!

He stopped, everyone opened their windows. We sat there, nothing happened, we began to relax. We were laughing and talking when……………………

“Did you see that?!!!” I froze, because Raymond’s voice sounded strange, I felt cold chills on my bare arms. Raymond was pointing at something, his eyes were wide and his mouth.. was hanging open!

I looked up at the window where the room had the rope noose hanging from the ceiling, the room with no door to it. I saw…. in that window a little blue light the color of blue one sees on a highway trooper’s car! It was hovering in the dark window! I was cold with fear, I wanted to go!

“Let’s go, let’s go”, I said. No, Raymond said let’s wait just a minute to see what happens!

In the moonlight, I watched what appeared to be a black silhouette of a man in a top hat coming out of that front door. I knew he was going to fall! In the moonlight I could see this man walk smoothly across that front porch and as he began to step down …..

The sound of tires spinning, my body being thrown back against the seat, and hysterical laughing…. I heard Raymond say “I’m getting the hell outta here!”

We all began comparing what we saw with our eyes, we all saw the same thing. We all asked the question “how did that man walk across the porch like that?!!!”

We all saw the man stepping down to ……… steps that weren’t there! It was real, it was a real haunted house.

I never went back there, I think Raymond did. I don’t think they ever saw anything else that was strange.

I know I saw enough to keep me away…. I don’t like haunted houses at all. Especially… dark, haunted houses. Why I don’t even go to the fun Halloween haunted houses… do you know ‘why’?

Because I know ‘bad things happen in the dark’… I know. I’m afraid of the dark.