But, I…..



 

Granny Gee/Gloria  (1-23-2013)

 

But, I….

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I was watching on the news this morning about how freezing cold the weather is up north.  I watched a man walk up to a homeless man sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, take his hands in his, and look at all his fingers.

 

Why?  To be sure they weren’t frostbitten.  A person can freeze to death in that kind of weather.  By now, you know something about me … I care about homeless people, animals.  My eyes can’t bear to look sometimes, because of the pain it causes in my heart.

 

The reason for the pain is because I can’t do anything to help them… I can’t take them in from the cold.  It’s hard enough to pay rent on our home, buy our groceries, pay our bills, and buy gas… these days.  

 

Though I close my eyes to their needs, I ‘know’ they are there.  They don’t go anywhere just because I choose not to see them… maybe you choose not to see them, too.

 

I always ‘knew’ I would be wealthy one day.  ‘One day’ didn’t come yet…  I always knew I would make a difference, a positive difference in people’s lives.  Well, I haven’t done that either.  I wanted to, but…..

 

But…. it’s always ‘but’….  I’m sitting here like sometimes, I bet you do… thinking of the ‘whys’ I haven’t done this, done that.  I always seem to think of reasons ‘why’, then… the word ‘but’….  no matter what answer I have … everything sounds like an excuse.

 

I wish I were rich …. I would go looking for the people I ‘know are there’… I would be like Victoria Fairchild in my story … I would make happiness come in their hearts, smiles on their faces reflecting that happiness.  

 

I would stand at a distance to watch, them never knowing I was there, I would cause good things to happen to them…. I would warm myself with their joy, just as we warm ourselves by the fireplace.

 

I want to do that so badly.  I see, hear people almost everyday when out… I wish so much to help them.  They never know I listen, I wish….

 

Just today, we were at the Waffle House eating breakfast.  As I sat drinking their good coffee, I listened to the young waitress who waited on us.  

 

She was telling an older lady waitress about how hard she was working to pay a little money on this bill, on that bill, never getting one totally paid off.  

 

I understood what she was talking about … the cost of living here is high.  If you don’t have a lot of money, it’s hard to catch up.  We go through it all the time.  

 

I remember what it’s like to have money, to never worry about paying bills, feeling light-hearted, not worrying.  It’s a good feeling… I know I wish for that back.  I cared about people then, and Skip and I did make good things happen… sometimes, we managed to without the recipient knowing.  

 

When they knew we were doing something good for them… we didn’t make a big deal of it… we didn’t need them to say ‘thank you’.  We just wanted to see a smile, relief in someone’s eyes, just … some peace of mind.  

 

Gracious, can you imagine how wonderful it feels to help someone, to make little dreams of theirs… to come true?  It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.  I know, I’ve experienced it many times through the years.  I loved ‘walking in those shoes’…. I absolutely …. loved it.

 

Even now, not having a lot of ‘extra’… I still do things.  If I have something I hear someone wishing for… and it doesn’t cause us to go without… I will give it to them.  I believe in ‘passing things forward’…. when one person does a kindness to you… turn around… do a kindness to the next ‘fellow.’

 

I wonder how the world would be if … each person in it, turned toward the next person… said a kind word, did a kind act…. I think it’d be wonderful.  Don’t you know miracles would occur?  Magic would happen.  

 

I am not kind all the time… I’m not perfect.  Sometimes, I am mean if ‘rubbed the wrong way.’  Just know Granny Gee isn’t a perfect person at all.  

 

All I have written is what I feel … I have a kind heart… I dislike people who scam, or take advantage.  I recognize them … once I do, my heart hardens. 

 

I would want to be a defender of helpless people, animals…. fight for the underdog.  If I had the power, the money to do such … I would be a … force to be reckoned with.  I ‘would save my people, animals.’  :)))                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Sh-hhhhh, Don’t Say A Word…


$620 in 31 twenty-dollar bills.

$620 in 31 twenty-dollar bills. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sh-hhhhhh, Don’t Say A Word….

 

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

The woman sat talking quietly to a teenage girl. The girl looked at her with tears in her eyes. “Mama, it’s okay… I don’t have to have those things to graduate. We need money for more important things.”

 

I watched the woman turn her head, stare off into space. I saw sadness in her eyes. I saw her shake her head, look down into her lap. I recognized hopelessness, my heart felt pain. I know how it is to go without things I need, much less want. I know how it is when one’s child needs, wants something… the parent sees no way to pay for those things.

 

I sat thinking of how I could make a difference in this mother, daughter’s life in a positive way. A way without them knowing it… if not that… a way that I wouldn’t hurt their pride. I wanted to do something special for them.

 

As we waited for the bus, I looked around, listened to different people as they talked, laughed. I saw some people sitting with the saddest expressions on their faces. I know how it is to be sad… that’s why I recognized sadness. I not only recognized it, I ‘felt’ it deeply in my heart.

 

I got up to go to the bathroom… it would be an hour before my bus came. I walked into a stall, closed the door behind me. I pulled the diaper station out to sit my purse on. I opened it, and pulled out several envelopes, then……

 

I took a bank envelope out of my purse. It held several thousand dollars in one hundred dollar bills. I stood there in deep thought, then decided what to do.

 

I put a thousand dollars in one envelope, one hundred dollar bills in ten different envelopes. I was going to make a positive difference in people’s lives today. I did this often, finding that it made me feel the most happiest inside. It was time…

 

I walked back out into the waiting area… I walked over to the mother, daughter. I sat down, blended in with them by talking. I found that we all had a rapport that would make it easy for me to do what I wanted to do.

 

I smiled at them, told them that I wanted to tell them something special. I made both promise not to make a sound when I told them. I didn’t want everyone to know that I carried such a large amount of money. Also, I didn’t want people to know that they would have that kind of money on them.

 

I asked them if they would walk with me to the bathroom that I wanted to show them something as I told them something special. I saw trust in their eyes… I felt good inside.

 

We walked into the bathroom, thankfully … it was empty. I looked at both of them, smiled, told them that I had no way to remain private while I did what I wanted to do.

 

The woman looked at me smiling, wondering what in the world I was talking about. I told her that I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but, then again… I did mean to. That was my purpose in life… to find people who needed things… to make dreams come true.

 

I took the envelope out of my coat pocket, handed it to the woman. As she took it from my hand, I told her that this would help to buy the things her daughter needed, plus… she’d have money left. I told her to not let anyone around us know what I just did… it was dangerous for people to know they had that kind of money on them.

 

The woman opened the envelope, gasped when she saw the hundred dollar bills. I told her there were ten of them. She began to cry softly, thanking me. I told her in a quiet voice to not say anything, she didn’t need to. She, her daughter both hugged me… I turned around, walked to the door. I looked back at them with a soft smile, put my finger on my lips, walked out of the bathroom.

 

I walked by an older man sitting alone. His clothes were very worn. He had a cane. I sat down beside him, he spoke to me. I listened as he told me about himself. He was on his way to see his daughter who needed him. He used his last money from his social security check to take the bus to her. He didn’t know what he’d do when he got there.

 

I opened my purse, slipped out four one hundred dollar bills. I took one envelope out of my pocket, slipped the four hundred dollars into it along with the one hundred dollar bill in it. Now… the envelope held five hundred dollars. I knew what I was going to do with it….

 

I gently took the elderly man’s hand in my two hands. I told him that I would like to help him if he didn’t mind. I saw instant tears in his eyes… I told him to not say anything, that what I was about to do had to stay quiet. He nodded his head…

 

I took the envelope with the five hundred dollars in it, placed it in his hand. I told him that now… he would know what to do when he got to his daughter. He opened the envelope, peered inside. He began to speak… I put my finger to my lips, shook my head, whispered to him…. “don’t let anyone see this money, stay safe now, you don’t have to say a word.” I got up and walked away….

 

I felt such happiness in my heart… for now, I had done what I needed to do… I would know when it was time to help someone else the next time. For now, I was through… for now, I was tired from the built-up emotion inside me. The best kind of ‘tired.’

 

My bus had arrived… I walked out to it… I never looked back. I didn’t need to… I had left ‘good things’ behind me. That was my purpose in life……..

 

Note: This is a short story I wrote about a dream I have… I would like to really do this in my life. Whenever I have had huge sums of money, I have done similiar to this story I wrote. I was at my most happiest when I made good things happen for others. This story is my wish that’s always in my heart…. I wish I were rich enough to make many dreams come true. I would turn, walk away knowing I had done good. This story was written while I was day-dreaming…… wishing…. :))) Love, Granny Gee

 

 

“THE WIDOW-SEEKER”


“THE WIDOW-SEEKER”

January 09, 2012

I was reading one of my emails this morning (I’m glad to hear from alot of you by private email, also). I began to think about something I’ve noticed and watched happen for years.

You may recognize what I’m about to write … you may have been a ‘victim’… later, to have nothing and left wondering ‘what happened’.

Truthfully, I can only write about what I know to be true by knowing actual people who are guilty of this… or have been a ‘victim’. I’ve never been a ‘victim’… nor intend to ever be.

Have you ever noticed….. (if not ..you will from now on… or if you are an ‘intended victim’… you may think about this and stop it in time before you are left.. with nothing)……… have you ever noticed that when men die, there are what I call ‘widow- seekers’ …who come calling on his widow? (‘Widow-Seekers’… is my name for these type of men… I’ve never heard anyone else use it. :)))))

These are the men who rear back in their chairs with that little greedy glint in their eyes. They are the ones who brag the loudest about ‘what they got’. These are the men who are like little banty roosters… they are indeed ‘cock of the walk’. They have the world by the tail…. by someone else’s tail. they never earned it.

They seem to have a wad of money in their pocket, they always seem to be flashing it. They always have the best of everything, they always seem to have plenty of time on their hands… they ‘really don’t have to work’. They are quick to tell others that. ‘They don’t have to work’.

What they don’t tell anyone is that when a man dies, the widow-seeker either knows that man, or hears about that man…….. they beam in on the widow.

the widow-seeker is an expert on comforting a woman when she is grieving, he’s the first one to get her a tissue for her tears! After-all…. this man, this widow-seeker…. ‘really cares’. The woman, the widow, the ‘victim’ falls for it.

The next thing you know.. the victim has gotten her husband’s insurance money, all the while, the widow-seeker has been glued to her side. How caring, how loving he is. There’s nothing quite like this widow he has sought. He loves the ground she walks on.

What the ‘victim’… widow doesn’t know is, she had better take advantage of such love and attention.. because this is the best she’s ever going to get from the widow-seeker!

Once the deceased husband’s insurance money comes… and the widow-seeker gets ‘his part’… he is in business. He is all of a sudden a ‘wealthy man’ and has ‘everything’. He is ready to begin attracting other women.

What a fine man this widow-seeker is. Why now, he is looking good, looking his best because he is the happiest when he has another ‘cash cow’ to take care of his wonderful, charismatic ass. The truth is the …truth and this is the way I see it.

This man, this widow-seeker, is happiest when he is in this position. I’ve known alot of widow-seekers personally… I have listened closely to learn their secrets… though, I have no respect for them. They don’t know that, though. :)))) I smile and I’m sweet… I don’t show my colors to them.

Though I don’t have respect for them, I’m thankful for their life’s lessons to me. There is always a widow-maker close by …ready to run and catch a widow ‘before she hits the ground’.

He will catch her, hold her, soothe her with his silky words, and wrap her up in his cocoon of warmth. Oh yes, the widow-seeker is a slick character! He is the best of the best.

It’s easy to be the best of the best… when you know someone is going to hand you the keys to a fine vehicle, to a wad of money, to another man’s bed, his home, and his woman. It’s easy to be on top of the world …knowing everything is going to be handed to you, no questions asked.

The widow-seeker has earned it by being so sweet, so comforting and so, strong. He has wooed the widow with his soft, silky voice… no matter he isn’t handsome. The widow isn’t looking at this time, she is hearing… so, that voice and what it says is… important. The widow-seeker knows this instinctively.

When about six months has gone by… it’s time to get back to living (in this widow-seeker’s mind). The widow-seeker is well-established in his ‘nest’ now. He becomes alittle irritated from time to time at the widow, making her afraid he will leave her life. She has fallen in love with him!

This sets the widow to thinking… she can’t bear the thoughts of this wonderful man leaving her life. She can’t see how he acts when he is out of her sight. Her friends are telling her, but, everybody knows how ‘freinds’ are… you can’t trust a word they are saying. Especially.. when they get in the way of what one wants … they are never right.

That old widow-seeker is out flashing a wad of cash, driving her husband’s big pickup around, and flirting with women… sitting in those little groups you see at old country stores, bragging.

Oh yes! I got the world by the tail, he thinks. So, he does! He has to ‘seal the deal’ now…. he has got to convince the widow that she needs him to be her husband… after-all, he needs that home of hers… to be his, too! Can’t leave that home out! He’s got to be sure he can’t be kicked out of ‘his home’.

He convinces the widow to take him for her lawful, wedded husband and they say ‘I do’! Then… it begins………

Her life falls apart quickly, the widow-seeker has become tired of pretending. He begins to show ‘his real colors’. He shows this b…………. who is boss now, she is his wife and she damn-well better listen to him. If she doesn’t, he’ll either kick her ass or… worse, he’ll leave her.

That woman knows her place, she begins to listen. She can’t go through life without a man! That’s shameful… don’t let women go through life without a …. MAN! So what does she do?

She becomes a ‘good’ wife. She will continue to work her ass off to support him. She will buy him expensive gifts from the insurance money from her deceased husband. Money that was meant to take care of her, children that are left behind.

The widow-seeker is the one who makes out like a fat cat. He will get that little round belly from lots of good beer or liquor, and eating lots of good foods. After-all, he gets the best… all comes from a man that died who once worked hard for everything the widow-seeker now ‘owns’, so that the widow-seeker never has to work. One has to take care of the widow-seeker!

Actually, the widow-seeker is a very insecure person… he doesn’t dare let on to anyone how vulnerable he is. He has to appear strong, forceful so, that the woman he has seduced into being his wife now… will be afraid of him and what he might do.

She might try kicking him out sometimes, only to beg him to come back. This is exactly what he wants. When she gets upset and screams at him… he’ll scream back ‘but, you begged me to come back to you!’ He is the one with all the power.

This goes on and on…. and on. The ball is in the widow-seeker’s court. The wife of the widow-seeker is on the losing team…. she doesn’t even know it. She can’t see anything because the widow-seeker is always busy… kicking up dust.

Kicking up dust to ‘blind’ her.. so, that she doesn’t see what he is doing behind her back. The fun he has behind her back…. he likes to get that good-loving from the local ‘loose women’ who are always there to comfort any ‘misunderstood’ man that comes along.

The widow-seeker is the most misunderstood man there is. He makes sure these women know that. While he is ‘crying’ to them, they are giving him what he desires most… lots of good loving he can go brag about to his friends.

Oh yes, the widow-seeker has everything. He has the world by the tail. Watch him, pay attention and you’ll be entertained by his actions. The next time a man dies, keep your eyes on his widow…. soon she’ll be accompanied by a …widow-seeker. They come like vultures when there’s death.

They clean up like vultures do, leaving only the skelton behind. They literally suck the life out of the woman they attach themselves to. Watch how her eyes, her face changes within months after, the widow-seeker convinces her to marry him.

The widow-seeker is the winner… unless the widow is smart and catches on. She can be the winner of her life, her decisions, the money left to make sure she and any children don’t have to suffer. She can be free of hell, if she uses the widow-seeker… instead.

Use his comforting words, his cocoon of warmth, be respectful to him and….. go your way. Don’t let him know that you’ve used him, use your sweetest voice with him, thank ‘him’ for all ‘he’s done’ in your time of need. Just don’t let him get his foothold into your life. I promise you that your life will be so much better without the grief…… the widow-seeker would bring.