I am married to my best friend, hero and soulmate… Skip. We have 2 Pups named Sweet Chadwick Elsworth and Kissy Fairchild.
We lost our son, Tommy, who was a very important part of our world. He collapsed at the beach (Myrtle Beach, S.C.) playing with his little son, Taban, something he wanted to do. He died there with little Taban near him. Tommy had 2 blockages in his heart that no one was aware of.
You will read alot about Tommy and about everything as I think and change moods and experience in life… I am like the colors in life.. forever changing hues as I move in my life. Colors are my stories… I think in …colors. They mean my world. I love happy colors.
I am sad, I am happy, I am angry, I’m down, I’m up………. I’m everything and I will write what I feel, just as when painting and drawing… I won’t know ‘what it will be’ until I’m finished. I can begin with one idea in mind and at the end when I’m done… it’s completely different… but, ‘right’ for the time I’m writing.
My husband, Skip, should be the one writing. He writes well and he writes ‘properly’. As for myself.. I’m going to write ‘my way’ and it isn’t ‘proper’.. I write as I think and feel…my writing reflects that.
We are very good people, and in life we have made our mistakes as we matured through the years… and learned from them. We love and care about people and animals. We love dogs and aren’t ‘cat people’… but, you could say we are. We feed faithfully every day feral cats that we love and care about. They are important to us.
Granny Gee… That’s Me! :)))))))
Colors of My Life 
I think you write fine, Granny Gee – absolutely fine.
Regarding your son, Tommy, this dead is so, so difficult to accept. I have always been fascinated you never know how your own life will end – there was a report last weekend of a teenager ‘train surfing’; he was electrified, a mother died in a rip trying to save her son & his two friends and so on, so on. You just do not know. But this death was so sudden. My sincere, sincere condolences.
What a sad story about the teenager ‘train surfing’, and his mother. Life can be so sad. Thank-you, regarding Tommy. Granny Gee
I am so sorry about your son Tommy, may his soul rest always in perfect peace. May God bless and keep his son.
Your words mean so much. They are beautiful. Thank-you. Granny Gee
I’m so sorry about your son. Thank you for finding me, it led me back here. I’m looking forward to reading more.
I am so happy that you came to visit here. Thank-you for your condolence in regards to my son. He
meant the world to me. I will visit your blog, also. I’m honored that you are here now. Granny Gee/Gloria :)))
Thank YOU Granny Gee. I look forward to knowing more of your son. And more of you. 🙂
I can only say I’m honored.
You write just fine Granny Gee, Just wish I could say that I loved your writing because in a way I did, but then the first emotion to hit me was a kind of emptiness… whenever some one close to us goes away, it leaves a vacuum which we may try to fill up with other people & activities, but still remains there no matter how much we try to hide it from others. Losing a grown-up son (and I am guessing its the only child in your case) would surely drive one crazy… may god give you all the strength needed to carry on.
I do not cry mostly, if I can control yourself, it only makes their memories a bit depressing, but I do cry whenever it becomes just too much to keep it all inside, just to let the emotions get out of the system, it will only make me feel lighter.
I appreciate your comment, honesty. I write to remember my son, Tommy. For his two children to read one day to know Granny Gee, as they won’t have the opportunity to in this life.
There is an emptiness but, one that I have been learning to cope with. I’ve come such a long way without help from anyone to show me how to get past this.
I write so, other grieving mothers can see real feelings, thoughts… I couldn’t find that when I needed it.
I think that if you went back in my blog you would see alot more than emptiness… I am a very positive person, and I’m a very colorful person in a good way.
Have you ever lost an only child? You can’t ever be prepared for the loss of a child… you will cry many, many times, and it’s more than depressing….
It’s a life you brought into the world as a mother… a baby you went through so much with for him to grow up… a real person who meant the very world to you.
A very real person you know as ‘Son’.. who will be there as you grow older. You know this person loves you unconditionally as you do him.
When he’s gone…. the realization that you no longer have that baby, that child ..who grew up to be an adult… the one you know will outlive you as a parent… be there as you age to love, care, watch out for you…. ……….. what can I say?
I really can say ‘it is a bit depressing’. You are right…. I hope you will read and see that what I write isn’t meant to depress… but, to let ‘the world see’ what grieving really is, those feelings really are.
After all, we each have a ‘message for the world’… that’s ‘why’ we each write. We really want someone to know, to see, to feel. I’m no exception… writing also, heals.
I will write, speak about those feelings and how they really feel… for the rest of my life. My son won’t be forgotten….
When I say that my son won’t be forgotten…. he has 2 surviving children that aren’t in my life…. they’ll never know who he is, who I am….. if there’s no story.
This way ..through my words they will know their father, and them… were indeed very much loved by Granny Gee. This is my story to them, too.
Thank-you for commenting. It does mean alot to me. I hope you will read farther to see me as a person… not as a mother who is driven crazy by her child’s death.
I’m not saying that I didn’t ‘almost go crazy’……I still go through alot…. but, I’m not in the darkness anymore.
I ‘know’ everything is going to be alright, now. I just feel driven to write ‘forever’ now.
You are so right about when you do cry, it does help to get all out of the system… it does make you lighter. I find that ‘words do that, too’…. ‘my words are my tears… too’.
:))) Granny Gee/Gloria I was happy to hear from you.
Dear Granny Gee/Gloria,
As I read more and more here, realize that sometime we make up our mind too quickly based on our premonitions. I can never even attempt to understand your pain and your writing can only give a glimpse of what you may be going through.
It is not always dark and gloomy, sun shines after every dark night, no matter how long the night lasts.
Keep writing and sharing your thoughts, hope to be a part of your journey by reading your post regularly. Wish I could also continue to write when I am a grandparent like you & Skip.
God bless you,
Bhuwan
Bhuwan, you have just become ‘real’ to me… you touched my heart with your precious words, they mean the world to me.
I look forward to you being here, and I will read your blog always.
Your words made Skip smile, also…. he loves to see me smile. (I love to see him smile, too).
If you will go to my main blog where I always write first, you can see photos of Tommy, us, our Pups.
You will see my colorful artwork :))) and see I’m not a ‘doomsday, dark’ person.
My main blog is………… happycolorsandgrannygee.blogspot.com
I am happy to meet you, Bhuwan.. and honored to have you for friend. Gloria/Granny Gee :)))
Much love Granny Gee. I look forward to getting to know you better.
:))) Thank-you. I look so forward, too.
Your writing will always be perfect because it is you. I want to hear your story of coping with your loss, the lessons it has brought/will bring. Everything happens for a reason, painful though it is. Lots of love.
Thank-you for what you said, it touched my heart enough to bring tears. Love, Granny Gee/Gloria
Hi Again Gloria! I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award on the basis that I love reading what you have to say. I look beyond your words and try to see more of you than you give away so I can feel a stronger bond in the spirit. Thank you for sharing your journey through life and for giving your readers some serious food for thought. I know that some of you do not accept awards, and some have received the same from others. Please receive it in the heart, if not through the usual channels! Best wishes always, Yaz.
Please go to http://yazrooney.wordpress.com/ to claim your award!
Oh my… now… that’s just special, Yaz. I ‘felt’ these words as I read them. I ‘just ran out of words’ to say. :))) Thank-you more than the words that ‘just got lost’… can say, Yaz. I am so honored you think that way….. truthfully, your words just touched my heart because my eyes feel.. the tears. Gloria/Granny Gee
Yaz, I just wrote about the award on my blog. I wanted you to know. I am very honored that you would nominate me, Yaz. Thank-you very much. Gloria/Granny Gee That is most special… :)))
Yaz, I read The Story Tellers on your blog, and did WordPress… it showed up on my blog…to be honest, I don’t
know if it’s supposed to do that! I took it off…. I thought it would go where one sees all the names of stories
blogged. Gloria/Granny Gee :)))
Your story is very inspiring. I want to hear more. Glad I was able to see your blog. Thanks for following me 🙂 God bless
I am happy to see you here! Thank you for your comment, and for following me, also. It just means so much! Granny Gee/Gloria :)))
my granny it’s an honor for following my blog too 😀 Keep on inspiring everyone 🙂
Thank you. You also, inspire others… I can see that in just the words I’ve read from your blog. I feel, sense you are a very lovely young lady with so much wonderful life ahead. I sense you will do very well. Granny
Wow my dear granny. Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I am very happy 🙂 And you should give credit to the Lord for making it. He is 🙂
So sorry to hear about your son. That is not how things are supposed to go, and I can’t imagine your pain. Hopefully your writing will offer you some solace.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I appreciate it.
Thank you for stopping by my blog, also. My primary blog is at happycolorsandgrannygee.blogspot.com I have photos there.
Thanks for checking out my blog. Your writing is perfect because it channels YOU perfectly! Your reasons for writing are applaudable. And you’re turning a terrible negative into a beautiful positive. Been there, doing that! I hope! Ann
Thank you. :)))
Gloria … would you mind sending me an email …. hope you don’t mind.
Viveka, I will find your email address on your blog and send you an email.
I have sent you an email … so just answer that. Thanks.
Okay … I’ll look now.
Viveka, my personal email is gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com I couldn’t find your email
Hello Gee, I want to thank you for choosing to follow my blog. I hope that you found something that fed your spirit. It is obvious that you are dealing with so much and I would like to just offer you a friendly gentle hug and my prayers for more peaceful days ahead.
I adore that you say you are going “to write your way” You do that and do it proudly.It takes courage to be your authentic self.
Thank you. I accept your gentle hug and prayers… they mean the world to me. Love, Gee :)))
So you know although an affectionate person by nature i do not say things unless I mean them. So you know this is sincere emotion. ~
I am smiling… you sound like me!!! I don’t say idle words either. :)))
thank you so much for sharing your feelings and emotions….this is very touching….
Your words were touching also, my heart felt them. :)))
so sorry that you lost your son, so young. I too lost a son, it is never easy. The wordpress family has been so supportive and loving. Come visit Justice for Raymond a wordpress blog. God bless you.
Hey Granny. I have awarded u with the Beautiful Blogger award…. Check my blog post for that 🙂
Nazish, I am so touched, honored. Thank you very much for liking my blog, it means the world to me. I will read and follow the rules. Granny Gee/Gloria :)))
You write beautifully. I also use writing as a coping mechanism.
Thank you… I look forward to following your blog … I know my heart will be so touched by all you, your daughter are experiencing. Just what I read.. I still feel choked up inside, my eyes have tears. I just feel so much for you.
proper writers can be such a bore and take up time i don’t have! i have congestive heart failure and to know you are suffering the loss of a son, your child, is heartbreaking.
wishing you peace of heart
welcome friend..you got an great blog…keep it up 🙂
Thank you. I look forward. :)))
🙂
hi granny 😀
Hey, i just got nominated for this award and now am nominating you cause of your really amazing and inspirational blog. God bless.
http://amaeguerrero.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/
Amae, I am honored you thought of me. Thank you very much. This is very special. Love, Granny Gee :)))
Hello GrannyGee,
I hope it is not too late to wish you a wonderful New Year. May 2013 bring you more happiness, love, and success. And may health and joy be with you as well. Many blessings and much love to you. 🙂
Subhan Zein
Thank you, Subhan! I wish you exactly the same things back! :))) Granny Gee
Thanks, Granny. 🙂
:)))
I feed feral cats, too. I’m allergic to cats, and have a Yorkie, so the feral cats suit me perfectly.
:)))
Please accept this amazing award.
BEST MOMENT AWARD
http://lovingsweetisabelleskye.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/best-moment-award/
You have touched my life and enlightend my Word Press experience.
Xoxo – Tricia
Tricia, I’m honored… though I don’t get the award, it meant the world for me to read your words. I am finding some comments that somehow I have overlooked. :)))
Hi GranyGee,
I am sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine a more painful one… I was very touched by your simplicity in expressing your feelings and with such grace.
One of the most valuable things I have learnt in my shamanic training is that pain is inevitable in life but that suffering is optional. And that our children are not really ours but are an invaluable gift given to us, that we take precious care of for some time and then they move on. In their own way, on their own path, following their own beautiful soul.
Many blessings to you and your family!
Thank you for your comment. I understand your words, know you are right. I, also, know that I keep choosing to go forward… the pain is so great, almost overwhelms me… but, I can’t stay in the past… if I did… the rest of my life would be wasted. I ‘wouldn’t be any good for anyone, my Pups, Skip… or to myself’…that would be wrong. Everytime I am ‘knocked down to the ground’… I get up, no matter how painful. :))) Everything really is going to be alright… it really is… ‘it’s just sometimes……’
So very sorry about Tommy. I can’t imagine your pain. I guess it is a day to day process.
I’m glad you followed my blog, because it led me back here to you. I connected with you at once….. I feed 2 feral cats also, even though we are ‘dog’ people!
I am so honored that you came here to visit. :))) I instantly recognized being ‘dog’ people, yet … caring for feral cats! You are doing what I used to do… when I quit… it was because people bought the property, began feeding the cats… I never saw them…. but, I ‘knew’ it was time for me ‘to let go’… they took over. :))) I am so happy you are here. :)))) Gloria
Granny! I nominated you to be part of the WordPress family award! God bless you:) http://amaeguerrero.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/wordpress-family-award/
I don’t know what to say… I know it’s such an honor for someone, you… to do this. Thank-you, sweet Amae. Love, Granny Gee
The loss of your son is indeed most tragic and you have my deepest sympathy. Although his physical presence has ended, your son’s love and spirit is still with you and will always be with you. This is what I learned when Rusty, my dog, died. This gives me comfort, makes me smile, and I hope it does the same for you. My wife and I don’t like cats, either, but we do feed several feral cats, they, at least, deserve a meal and chance to live. Your attitude about how and why you write sounds very similar to mine. Excuse my ego, but If you care to, you might take a few minutes and read my “ABOUT ME”, it’s a short one… you might get a chuckle out it… Here’s the link:
http://noulteriormotive.com/about-me2/
I did read, enjoy reading about Rusty and about your family. It’s so wonderful. Sounds like Skip and I. :)))
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⊥h@Nʞ U f0R F0LL0Wing di–G|+@L hEgEm0n d–0.o–b
:)))
I can relate to your pain, my son 20 years old, USMC 1992.
You have come a long way on your journey. I feel for you.
Sweet you,
I’ve an award for you, for the person who you are and the things you share with the world
http://summer4soul.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/peace-is-a-free-choice-so-is-this-award/
Thank you for that..
Namasté, Summer
Summer, I am most honored. :)))
You’re welcome. Thanks to you to! Have a peaceful day : )
Thank you, Summer. I hope you will, too.
Good for you, keep on writing. What a wonderful way to remember your son.and my condolences for your loss xxxxxx
Thank-you. I look forward to following you. :)))
Thank you for being a part of my blogging community, your work is outstanding! I have nominated your blog for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award.
More about this nomination is at
http://annjohnsonmurphreeauthor.wordpress.com/
Thank you for your support. Ann Johnson-Murphree
I appreciate so much the award. I am honored. Love, Gloria
My pleasure. Ann
:)))
Touching, inspiring, and all together written in emotion. If the grammar of English language restricts you then I hope you ignore all the rules. *hugs and sympathies* for your losses and *smiles and praises* for your triumphs.
You write awesome in your own way! And sorry to know about your son’s death. May his soul rest in peace, amen.
Thank-you. I just came from your blog… wow! I’m honored to have you here. :)))
Humbled and gratified by your kind words 🙂
Please keep honoring my space with your presence!
I hope you will do the same. :)))
Thanks so much for following my blog! I’m looking forward to your posts : )
Thank-you. I love the name of your blog. :)))
Thank you for following my blog! Happy that you like it:) what an interesting blog you have 🙂 for sure will follow and be back here! have a nice day 🙂
Thank-you. :)))
So glad I happened upon your blog. Lovely words here. Very sad to hear about your son. Life is full of surprises, heartbreaks and, luckily, joys. I hope you are healing from this heartbreak.
Oh yes, I am healing. I am very positive … at the same time, I feel sadness. I just know all will be alright … it always is, somehow. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words. I’m honored you liked my post. Gloria
🙂