Fabric of Life …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates

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Photo is of Tommy’s Chest, with his photo sitting on top.  Photos/poem are both owned by me… Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

 

It strikes without warning.  It’ll knock you on your ass …to the very ground you stand on.

The pain is so great, you feel it all over… not in just one place

Scream all you want, it won’t do you any good

It’s not going away… until it’s ‘good and ready’

 

Struggle all you want, pull your hair, gnash your teeth

You may as well pretend you’re in Hell, go with the flow

You won’t get out of this, I see no way

Yes, you are going to take it until… you can’t take anymore

 

Grief… yes, grief.  If you don’t know it… go away, this isn’t for you

If you never lost a loved one, there’s no way you’ll understand

You go your way, I’ll go mine… you can’t follow here

I don’t need, nor… do I want you, you can’t understand

 

Is grief on earth the same as being in Hell?

I ask because I know no worse feeling than losing a loved one

A loved one who has died, quit living…. moving, talking

Someone who was a part of your life, your taperstry

 

Your child, your person… part of your life fabric

Now, there’s a huge hole in the fabric of life… your life

That can never be filled… there’s nothing to fit in it

Once that hole is there… it’s a forever hole

 

Just Because I’m Older … Doesn’t Mean I Forgot How To Dance!


Photos of a younger Granny Gee who could really dance; and an older Granny Gee who hasn’t forgotten … and still do a few of the moves :)  Artwork by me in bottom photo … all owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …

Mm-mmmm, I can still do that! I used to be a ‘good’ dancer! Just because I’m older … doesn’t mean my body forgot how to dance! It doesn’t mean that … I can’t dance, anymore.

Okay, okay … so, it hurts more, since this body has become older. I know sometimes, if I try to dance … my body gets stuck in a strange position. It hurts like … heck. Really.

I’ve had so much surgery … that things ‘feel’ much different. I watch little videos on the computer … of senior citizens doing ‘remarkable’ things. I think … ‘why, I can do that’!

You hear of senior citizens defending themselves … shocking the heck out of their attackers! We all love that. Just because someone is ‘old’ … doesn’t necessarily mean they are weak, senile … helpless.

Sure, they need help doing something, at times. Think about it … if you were thrust into a life-threatening situation … you would become stronger, quicker … fight to the death, if needed. I know I would. No matter how old, weak I had become … I would do something ‘remarkable’, if possible.  Older people don’t … forget.

I’m a little older, little fatter … have some gray in my hair (I have it covered up … so, nobody can ‘see that I got older :). Having saying this … doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to dance!

I might look like a little, fat butterball with legs … but, I promise you … I haven’t forgotten how to dance. :)

Marching To The Beat Of A Different Drum … Dancing To Many Songs


Marching To The Beat Of A Different Drum … Dancing To Many Songs

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  I have many drums I march to … I love to draw, write, decorate, create … the list goes on.  I dance … to many songs.

 

I’ve been having the same thought go through my mind a lot lately.  Each time I catch up my Facebook page, Precious Camie’s Facebook page … then, do my stories for my different sites … I read along the way.  I read what others are writing about on Facebook, and on the writing sites I go to.

The thought comes to my mind … social media is about everyone ‘marching to the beat of a different drum’.  Hundreds of thousands of different drums … wow!

Have you ever thought about it?  Isn’t it amazing that so many people who are different from each other … can be together in the same place … get along?  I know there are places online where people are always bickering, finding reason to get angry.  I’m not talking about their kind of ‘drums’.

Thankfully, I’m not on sites like that … and when I encounter such, I get as far away as possible. Like people who are natural-born troublemakers … hell-raisers … I don’t want them in my life.  The first part of my life was filled with such … I didn’t have a choice … I was a child.

Imagine … different bands playing different songs … passing, repassing each other … they all smile at each other … go their own ways … marching to the beat of a different drum.  Everyone gets along. Everyone … respects the other, and the fact … that they are all different.

People open themselves up, trusting that others will be good to them, not hurt them. Our social media reflects who we are by our interests … we put photos, posts on it … to show what drum … we are marching to.

I march to not one drum, but … many.  I am interested in so many things … so, I not only march to the beat of a different drum … I dance to many songs.  :)

Have you ever thought about this … in this way?  That everyone marches to the beat of a different drum?  Dances to many songs?

Photos/article owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

It’s A Winter Wonderland … Out There


It’s A Winter Wonderland … Out There

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I took photos of the snow, and Pups … our snowstorm 2-25 & 26, 2015.  Photos taken by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

I can’t believe it … it snowed again!  Not only snowed again … but, really snowed a … for-real, thick, beautiful blanket of white!

Our Pups, Camie and Kissy love it, but … they want to hurry back inside to be dried off.  Camie runs circles in the snow … Kissy tried to, but … his right leg is injured.  It slows him down.

I really didn’t want anymore snow.  Last week, it was very messy, and a not so pretty snow, at all.  Well, this snow is a very beautiful snow … one that invites you to come outside to play in it.

My mind is on making a bowl of snow cream later, today.  Not only that … putting snow in a sparkling, clean glass … pour Pepsi on it!  That’s ‘my special something’ … to do when there’s a ‘worthy’ snow such as this!  What is your ‘special something’ to do?

I will get the snow off the picnic table, or Skip’s pickup.  It looks to be about six inches of snow.  I can get clean snow … it’s thick enough.

Skip said he wanted me to make him a ‘snow angel’.  Now, can you see me doing that … making a Granny Gee angel?  :)  I just can’t bring myself to lay down in the snow … but, then again … I have been known to do the … unexpected.  :)  Who knows?  He may have to help me get up, ha!

There are over 212,000 people without electric power in North Carolina, right this minute (7:58 am on 2-26-2015).  I am so sorry … I know how it feels.  We are fortunate.  I am grateful.  It’s cold outside!

I’m going to sit here, enjoy the view outside our door!  The wind is blowing the snow, making it look like a blizzard … reminding me of the real blizzards we have been in … out west!  I am going to let the snow put me in a trance … daydream!

It’s a winter wonderland … out there.

Diamond Tears and Colorful Rainbows …


BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/ aka GRANNY GEE

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My Son, Tommy … holding his son, Taban.  I miss you, Son.  Each day, I cry for my Son … no one ever knows that I do … I never tell anyone.  It’s one of those things a grieving mother does … that can’t be shared.  I miss you with my very Heart, Tommy.

 

I was looking at photos, reading yesterday when… I stopped and just sat looking… wondering ‘why’ one photo had my attention.

It came to me… I was looking at a rainbow and it looked like the one I saw through my tears… at the funeral home.  I remember walking outside and I heard someone say ‘look!  there’s a rainbow’!

I remember looking at the sky and seeing through my numbness, shock …a beautiful rainbow that shimmered through the tears in my eyes.  I blinked my eyes and my tears sparkled like diamonds, making that rainbow forever a part of ‘me’… in my memory.

It was the second rainbow I saw through my tears… when my mom died… and this one… when Tommy died.  I was like in another world… seeing both.  It was so … strange… so beautiful.

Today I was in my art room, organizing things when I became aware that … I was crying.  I had moved Tommy’s chest and the photo I have of him smiling that precious ‘Tommy’ smile … I always keep that photo sitting on top of his chest.

I was crying softly and didn’t even know it.. it’s strange to ‘find yourself crying’.  It hurts so much … I’m doing it now.  I never knew I would cry so much in my life.

I was thinking just for a moment when I moved his chest to dust it… I wonder if I can open it.  I opened it just a tiny crack to slip a photo of Taban (his little son) in it… I couldn’t open it any farther.  I wonder ‘why I’m not strong enough’?  It’s just a simple action… you just lift the lid up… simple as that.  All I have left of you is the upholstered chest, and the contents in it.

I have to say truthfully, even though I know… yes, I really know it isn’t possible … I wish so much my son was living.  I wish so much to hear his familiar voice, his laugh… to see the twinkle in his eyes… to hear his ‘cowardly lion’ laugh that used to put me in hysterics… I would laugh so much.

I loved hearing him do impression of Billy Bob Thornton.  Do you know it still seems like it was ‘just yesterday’ I was talking to him?  ‘Just yesterday’… I hugged him goodbye…I watched him drive down the driveway, grinning… waving to me.  I didn’t know we were waving… for the last time.  I just didn’t know that….

I can never look at a rainbow without thinking of him… I see it through my tears because I feel pain when I do.  I think of my mom, too.

Seeing rainbows through my tears… happy colors with a shimmery, clear veil of my tears.  I remember when I used to look at them without tears… those days are gone.

Diamond tears and colorful rainbows… how sad and beautiful the two are… how so sad and beautiful they are.

Photo/story are owned by me… Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee    I wrote this some time, ago.

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Sign On Pet Door … Slow Down!


Sign On Pet Door … Slow Down!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Our Rottie … Kissy Fairchild, loves to run, play … with Precious Camie, our Australian Blue Heeler/mixed.  Sometimes, they can get quite rowdy.

Kissy has hurt his hip, running through the pet door.  At least, we feel like that is what has happened.  He is limping … and it’s his right leg.  We are all the time, massaging it for him.

They love to play, run … out the pet door, to go out into their fenced-in yard.  Sometimes, they chase each other … sometimes, someone blows a horn … or whistles.  We asked them not to.  They understood … and won’t do it in the future.

Kissy will go to the doc-doc (our vet) next Wednesday.  He’ll have a x-ray to determine what is wrong.  He’ll also, get his nails trimmed.

He is stiff when he gets up from lying down.  We worry about him.  I came up with a way to stop Kissy, and Camie from running in, and out of their pet door.  I made a sign, taped it to their pet door!

Now … if they stop running in, and out … I’ll know they can read!  They are very smart!  :)  It’s easy to see the sign … it’s taped to their pet door!

Photo/story are owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates.  I made the sign, also :)


A Pure, White Snowflake…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

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Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … 2015

 

 

I thought I saw a snowflake fall from the sky

I stood there watching for others that would surely come

Another snowflake fell on my nose

As two more fell on my cheek

 

I felt excitement inside my heart

It’s snowing, it’s snowing

I wanted to run, and twirl around

Like a little girl, a little child

 

This is the effect snow has on me

It makes me feel happy, light in heart

I want to make snow cream

Eat it by the crackling fireplace

 

I love to snuggle up in my warm coat

Along with a colorful scarf

Put my soft mittens to my face

Close my eyes, feel such happiness

 

It’s snowing, it’s snowing

There’s no telling how deep it’ll get

I don’t care how deep it’ll be

I just want to play in the snow like a child

 

Forget all my grief, sadness

That weighs down my heart

I want to be like a snowflake

Run, twirl, fall to the white ground

 

Look up into the sky as the flakes

Fall on me, into my face

I’m a snowflake on the ground

No thoughts, no sadness, no pain

 

I jump up and run, twirl around

My hair turns white with all the snow

I have no thoughts to cause me pain

Because I can only concentrate on… being a snowflake

 

All I can see is white

All I can feel is white

I know nothing more than

Being a snowflake… a pure, white snowflake