Unseen Scar Struck Without Warning
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Gloria Faye Brown … age 6
Gloria Faye Brown … age 15 (I can see the deep pain in my eyes at the age of 15 … from the time I was age 6. So, so much happened during those … years. No one knew, I never told anyone.
I was walking, soon I would be passing through a doorway. I noticed a man who would be passing through the doorway at the same time as I. I didn’t mind at all.
Just as we both met in the doorway, the man jumped 3 feet back to the way he just came. Maybe in his way, he was thinking he was being polite … overly polite. He lit a fire he didn’t see coming.
It raged up, bright, furious. The man went into instant shock. He had met up with a firestorm like none he’d ever encountered.
Even I was stunned. I blew up instantly the very second the man jumped back when we both began to go through the doorway at the same time.
I became the Devil in Hell … “You go to Hell, you bastard”! I spoke it softly, snarling, sneering at him. “You just go to Hell, and burn, I hate you”!
No sooner than the ugly words came out of my mouth … I became calm again. That wasn’t my father who jumped back when we met in the doorway … this was a stranger.
I instantly apologized, quickly went my way. Why did I do that? I was humiliated. In my mind, the man became my father whom I lived with as a young girl.
My father was deathly scared of me … because if he even spoke to me, or smiled … showed kindness … my stepmother would make his life ‘pure hell’. He couldn’t afford that to happen.
My stepmother hated me with a pure hatred … because she hated, was jealous of my beautiful mother.
My daddy loved my mother until the day he died. He did tell me that, through the years … secretly. He used to secretly visit my mother … I don’t think my stepmother ever knew it. I sure didn’t tell her … but, it would have served my father right … if I had.
I was having a good day until the doorway incident … when one of my unseen scars struck out without notice.
Yes hun, damaged people like us have scars that make us react to anything that acts as a trigger.
I try to avoid such events, but sometimes… 😦
Love and huge hugs always!!! 🙂
I do understand, Prenin! 🙂 Love, Gloria
It is amazing you survived such a horrible childhood. xxx
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