Don’t Judge Anyone by Their Scars…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo taken by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …

The roads of Life are many … we travel them to become who we are today. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Looking down into the most beautiful face in the world.  A part of a parent lays in their arms … the most special part of one.  A baby … a little miracle.



Oh, he looks like you … time goes by … she looks like me!  Awe, wonder at what two people have created.  A beautiful, innocent child.



Working day in … day out to provide everything a child needs … or desires.  The child grows up to be a teenager … becomes ungrateful not realizing parents sacrificed so much to bring them to this time. Looking forward to seeing their children grow up, become responsible … get married … have their own little special miracles … grandchildren.



First … the teenage stage where the child begins to hate authority … set out to be everything the parent doesn’t want.  Anger … dishonesty … yes, I’m going to spend the night with my girlfriend … leave the house … get out of sight … get in the car with a boy.  Anger because being a teenager means knowing best … knowing more than a stuffy old parent.  Resentment being told what to do … let me smoke my weed … do my drugs … aw-www give me another drink.



Life is good until looking into the face of a parent … bitter, raw anger when they scream, yell.  Screaming, yelling is a mixture of love, pain, anger seeing a child go wrong.   It’s meant to shock the teenager into getting off the road to destruction.



Screaming, yelling pushes a teenager toward danger, the wrong direction.  How does a parent know … handle it without screaming, yelling?  Pain, love, anger gets in the way … they can’t talk to be understood in a calm way.  Screaming, yelling pushes the teenager further away … they take a turn on Destruction Road.



As the teenager travels on Destruction Road … he/she sees turns in every direction.  A sign on the left reads:  Drug Avenue.  Sign on the right reads:  Alcohol Blvd.  Signs down Destruction Road read:  Rape Circle … Killing Field Road … Party Street … Lake of Tears … Lake of Anguish … Despair Pond … Suicide Avenue … the signs go on.  Destruction Road … a teenager has to travel only far enough to realize this isn’t the direction they want to continue.



Teenagers who learn early avoid all the grief, mistakes others make if they continue to travel down the road. These are the teenagers who go on to make something of themselves.  They have become aware … open their eyes to seeing real life.  It may take something bad to make something good.



Sometimes … one doesn’t learn during the teenage years.  They enter their twenties … everything is learned hard.  Mistakes are made … near death … always something scary … bad.  Destruction Road is no place for anyone who isn’t bad to the bone … for anyone who really is good, kind, cares about others. Destruction Road is sure Hell on Earth.



If only a teenager could open his/her eyes … see the love, pain, anger when a parent screams, yells … see it for what it really is … they would never turn on Destruction Road.  They might make some wrong turns in life … that’s to help one learn from mistakes but … it’s better than traveling on Destruction Road.



If only a parent could reach a teenager in a calm, quiet way.  I sometimes, wonder … if an invisible wall naturally falls into place at a certain time in a child’s life to blind them to see which direction they will take?  I wonder if invisible earplugs impair a teen’s hearing?  I wonder if an invisible box surrounds a youngster’s heart … making it cold as ice.  Have you ever seen how cold a child, a teenager’s heart can be … when they are on the wrong paths in life.



Have you noticed on the news … shootings every day.  A lot of them are done by young people who are on Destruction Road.  Have you ever noticed the cold expressions on their faces … no remorse … no feelings at all.  They have cold hearts … don’t care if they took a child from a mother … a sister away from a sister, brother … a son, daughter from a father … grandchildren from grandparents.



I know from personal experience not all ‘bad’ people are truly bad.  They seem to be that way because of many reasons.  Some may do drugs in their private lives … drink alcohol in their private lives … have addictions they can’t beat.  I know … grew up with this my whole life … that doesn’t mean they are truly bad people … they do good things in life.  They live with what happened to them when they took the wrong turns in life.



Anyone is lucky not to have all kinds of things wrong with them when they grow up.  Dance too close to the flames … get burned by the flames.  Flames attract people … invite them to come close for warmth … get burnt by the fire.  When young it’s too easy to be deceived into so much … they are lucky to come out of it without permanent scars.  Scars are the trade-off to live when dancing too close to the flames.



I look back as far as I possibly can … so many memories of really bad things in my little life … teenage life … through my years.  In my life I’ve known so much ‘bad’ … I kept turning … trying to get off Destruction Road, when off that road … all my wrong turn roads.  I traveled too close to the flames … on the outskirts never quite having the nerve to go into the fire.  I have those scars now … no one can see … they are invisible but, felt by me.  I was fortunate … I learned early … learned from mine … others’ mistakes.



I was too naive … innocent … thinking all that glittered … was gold.  I am lucky not to be addicted to drugs, drinking … I mean I really am lucky not to be addicted to drugs, alcohol.  I’m just so fortunate … my biggest thing is loving good flavors in food … therefore … I’ve always fought my way on the Weight Road.  Oh … I have such a big Heart that cares about people, animals.  So … I travel on Big Heart Road always in my Life.



The good … bad in my life has shaped me until today … to being ‘Gloria’.  I would like to think I am a very good person.  I know I have a high temper … I always try to be nice even when pushed a bit … my number is 3 … I take a stand, plant my feet on the ground … and will hold my own.



I travel the Road of Kindness … Love Dogs Circle … Love Animals Blvd, People Love Avenue in my life.  I travel other roads, also.  I always try to travel on good roads … I don’t like bumpy rides at my age.  I have a hard enough time weathering storms in my life.  I like to think I have done all (easier to say than to experience all) … in a good, positive way.  I really, really strive to be the best I can … I know I can’t be perfect.



All the wrong turns in Life shaped me to being a good person today.  Sometimes, it doesn’t do that with everyone.  The good thing is that even the people you think are ‘bad’ … do the ‘bad things’ you don’t approve of … are sometimes, the best people you’ll ever meet.  The ‘bad things’ you disapprove are … only the scars left from traveling on the Roads of Life.  Don’t judge people by their scars.






Note by this Author:




Life is life … things happen.  We all have to make decisions from the time we are very young.  Some young people have the ability to go on in life not making the mistakes most young people do.  They may have the family support, friends, good home … food, that others don’t have to make life easier.



They may live in better neighborhoods, have more stable parents … they may have a lot of wonderful, good things in their life to buffer them from learning the hard way.  I didn’t have clouds to buffer my falls … I didn’t turn bitter, though I grew up with anger … somehow I had a good, kind Heart as a child.  That Heart is what kept me from turning into a truly bad, ugly person.  I could have been just as bad, ruthless as I am good, kind, loving.  Thank God for the good, kind, loving.



Photo/story owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.    #teenagers, #mistakes in life, #wrong turns in life

2 thoughts on “Don’t Judge Anyone by Their Scars…

  1. I know what you mean hun: I have scars both physical and mental from what my dad did to his family, his wife and children, the pets he killed when social services were interested in him until we ran out of pets and we started having ‘accidents’…

    Decades later came Bob Cockin, an evil bullying thug who saw me as a way to make money by accusing me of every crime he could sell to the Police and Journalists until they offered me £60,000 to pay for their blunders.

    I wouldn’t touch their blood money, not knowing where it came from, so they tore into my life looking for ANYTHING to excuse their actions.

    28 years on medication after they broke my mind, always having to watch my back as they turned my friends and family against me for easy money. 😦

    Then the lies and the truth met and they had to face the terrible crimes they had committed.

    So what did they do?


    No: They are trying to determine if I am gay or bisexual instead – any perversion rather than face the reality of what they have done to an innocent who proved himself good in every person they questioned.

    Every good deed he had done throughout his life that they tried to poison with their obsessions.

    Now I have nobody around me to trust and afraid to trust the people at church in case they were also turned against me like they did with Mark Tomlin, a church member and one time friend who I recorded when he had his baptism, a gift for him and part of our long standing friendship.

    Now even that is spoiled, made dirty…

    Yes, I have scars, but they are memories and one day they’ll have to face the truth… 😦

    Love and hugs!


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