By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I felt pain in my left knee, oh, how it hurt so. As I walked, the pain in my body every day of my life made itself known. Pain inside my heart, I miss my son. Physical pain, mental pain… when I think like this… it’s all about ‘me.’………
I think about the pain in your life, the things you shared with me… whether it be in person, commenting on my blogs, emailing me, writing me.
My heart feels another pain in it…. ‘your pain’ that I felt when reading/listening to your words. Because…. my heart cares, because I can’t help it. This is another one of those ‘whys’…. that aren’t ever answered. Why do I care so much?
I can grieve for the bad things that happen in your life. It pulls at my protective instincts to wish I could do something to keep things in your life from hurting you anymore.
Do you remember how when you are younger, you just know you are going to ‘save the world’, you will protect everyone you love, care about? Remember how you would fight for every ‘underdog?’ Remember……. ??? Why would you want to remember?
Because… suppose we all could have went on to really save the world (I mean ‘every person, every animal’)…. we all could have protected everyone we loved, took every underdog under our wing…… wouldn’t this whole world be completely different? Wouldn’t it be filled with love instead of hate, anger, cruelty?
Because… if you are like me, really wanted to do these things, really thought you were going to… then, as you grew up… you realized that you, as one person can’t do but, so much. So what happens when you realize this?
You begin to hurt deeply for the world you meant to save, for the people you love… you couldn’t keep painful things away from them, you couldn’t protect every underdog.
You begin to cry inside for them, feel their pain, your pain because you aren’t big enough, strong enough to help …everyone. You do good taking care of your own.
Because … it takes money, love, time, caring a lot of times to help others, you can’t possibly help ‘everybody’, because you are only one person. It takes one after the other ‘to form the links in a chain’… that goes ‘forever’……………..
So, what happens… we have to turn our heads, close our eyes to others’ pain, not see when they are hungry, someone mistreating them, hurting them. I have to do this so, I can live… so, I can bear this kind of pain for … some of you.
What do you do? You always have in back of your mind as you live with your own pains in your own life, cope with your own life ………. the lives of others who go through the same, or go through worse, or go through even more… worse.
The whole world is in pain… and it affects my heart… I cry inside. I have at times… almost wished not to live with such… pain. I feel it so much …inside ‘me’…. outside ‘me’….
I cry inside for you, everyone… animals… every living being. Why am I like this? Why do I even care about people, animals? Why do I have to turn my head, close my ears, shut my eyes sometimes? I can’t bear the pain that I can’t prevent… all I can do is… care.
I feel, I listen with my heart to you when you write to me, tell me what your life is about. I’m honored that you share with me the things you have… I feel special. I feel you know I care with my very heart… or you wouldn’t have bothered. I hope you will always share, write to me. I love hearing from you… everyone.
My message to you is that I want you to know that this one person, Granny Gee/Gloria Faye Brown Bates….. would make all the pain go out of your heart, life, if it were anyway possible. You would never know pain again… I know how it feels.. it hurts too bad.
I would put a protective golden ring of light around you… wherever you went in life, you’d be protected. Every underdog would never have to be afraid to be themselves, they could walk knowing they are safe, protected.
The strange thing is that I would also, be this way toward my ‘enemies’. I would care about them, too.
I just wanted you all to know this. Why would you want to know this?
Because … I wanted you to know that all you’ve shared/will share with me is important to me. I honestly care, I keep you in my prayers, I want good things to happen to you, in your life.
Because … if I could I would make sure your life was a good one, no one would hurt you again.
In my mind I imagine a golden ring of light around each of you who have come into my life… I imagine this around all my loved ones, too. I pray that this golden ring of light protects you from harm, from pain, leads you toward the good things in life, only good things … touch your life.
Do I sound like I’m dreaming? Do I sound silly? What do you think would happen if we all began to think like that, imagine like that? I bet you … magic would happen!
Our minds are very powerful… our thoughts can change things. We forget that, I forget that. Why? Because I know I’m not perfect… and I act just like a human. Why? Because… that’s what I am … a darn human!
I wish I were magic! I wish I could make dreams come true, put millions of smiles on many faces… I can see it now! I can look out over the whole world… I see only bright light!
The light is reflecting from every face in the world until I can’t see any one person’s features! Why? Because the light is too bright… from wonderful happiness! If Granny Gee could do that, she’d be for real, magic! Good magic!
Smile, laugh … pretend for a moment, pretend I’m not in a state of wishful thinking … pretend for a moment that I made something beautiful happen in your life. Can you close your eyes, feel that wonderful thing?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could do that? Can you see now, what I would do… if I had the power to? Now… I hope that what you saw comes true… it will be because you attracted it to yourself with positive thoughts! That’s magic! Our thoughts are powerful, magic, special……..
I sit here in the golden ring of light I imagine around me, also. I am thinking about you all this morning. I always think of so many of you who have entered my life since I began writing … do you know how I treasure every one of you?
You make me feel like I’m someone special, you make my writing have meaning when you read… no matter if it’s silly :))), serious, painful. You have become so important to me. Why?
Because … you care enough to read all these words I write! I write lots of them! It means the world to me that you do! :)))
You care enough to comment a lot, you email me about you… I love it. That’s just special! (Tommy used to smile… because when I used the words ‘that’s just special’… he knew something had touched my heart… and he ‘knew’ when I would be saying them :))
I wish I could say that I’m positive all the time in my thinking. I can’t say that honestly. Life sometimes, overwhelms me making me think negatively… forgetting that when I ‘fill myself up with good thoughts’…. good things happen in my life.
See, I forget what I told you…. our thoughts are very powerful. I forget…. to think good things when life pulls me down. I forget because …… I’m just a darn human …… and when I think in a positive way … magic happens!
If we all thought in such a wonderful way… I bet you magic would happen!