I Want My Last Breath to Exhale Love

I Want My Last Breathe to Exhale Love

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter







True love never dies

It becomes the air we breathe

The air we exhale

Becomes a gift once we become aware

To hold close to our Hearts

As we love others in our world

Love is like a never-ending river

As it’s shared throughout life

Until the last breath, it’s exhaled

Surrounding others in its warmth

Warming those who care to feel it

Becomes a part of life that’s left

The world will never rid itself of love

It’s here to stay in Hearts of others

To be shared in generations to come

Sadly, not everyone will feel love

Instead, hatred is shared through time

With most every person infected by it

Hopefully, more love fills the air

Than hatred ever can

Though one wonders … when everyone’s at war

I’ve lived in both worlds … love … hate

I learned to hate as well as love

Before I knew it … love pushed hate away

Until no hatred was left behind

Like a glass full of water

I am full … of love

Love until the day I die

No matter what … I won’t hate

When I die, I want my last breath to exhale … love



Note by this Author:

These words came to mind when I was thinking about the world in general … and of course it became personal … I thought about me, my life.

Photo, poem owned/written by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.




You Write heart … I Write Heart

You Write heart … I Write Heart

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Heart … heart … you write ‘heart’ … I write ‘Heart’.  Have you ever noticed that I always capitalize the ‘H’ in Heart?

Why do I do that?  I’ll tell you why … once in a while someone will comment that I always write ‘heart’ … ‘Heart’ no matter where I put that word in a sentence.

This is why … I do that.  When I write, do you notice I write, use words straight from my … Heart?  I do, when I write I feel my words whether the words are happy, sad, angry, cheerful.

So, when you see my stories, articles, posts, comments … just know now, why.

I love you with my Heart.  That’s the Gloria way … my words have real meaning … always.

Sometimes, I agonize over how to find the words to say things straight from my Heart.  Sometimes, I capitalize … as another way to express sincerely what I think, feel.

You write heart … I write Heart.

Photos/article are both owned/written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

You Are A Damn He Man!

You Are A Damn He Man!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Grandma Alma, and George … the most colorful characters in my young life.  I loved them with my very Heart.  They lived in Hell … they didn’t have a choice.  They had a lot of love, though.  Sometimes, even that … wasn’t enough.


It ain’t no such a damn thing! The blind man was mad. His wife had just accused him of the next door neighbor! What was she thinking? He was blind … couldn’t see a damn thing!

The woman sat in her old, upholstered rose-colored chair. She was paralyzed. She had one good side, one ‘bad’ side’ She could use her left arm, hand, leg. She reached with her left hand for her famous glass of cold water. It sat up on the old, dusty dresser beside her chair.

The old dresser held Grandma Alma’s many bottles of medicines. The mirror on it had a permanent ‘fog’ … you could only see shadows in the glass. George always had Grandma Alma a glass of water, with ice in it … it always sat there for her. There was a permanent water ring where it sat.

Faye was holding her breath … she knew what was going to come next if George didn’t quit hollering. She looked around … she saw her cousins in the room next to George and Grandma Alma’s sitting room. All the kids were snickering … they all knew what Grandma Alma was getting ready to do!

You damn he man! Grandma Alma yelled at George that he was a ‘he man’! Those were always her famous words. She had just pressed the right spot with George … he began hollering that he wasn’t a he man … and he didn’t go with the next door neighbor!

Well … that did it with Grandma Alma! That hollering pissed her off! She dashed that glass of cold water on George, right in his face! Talk about hollering, George did let out a roar.

In the next room, unknowing to them … all the children were rolling on the floor. They had their hands over their mouths … it was so funny! They had seen this scene play out time after time.

George would make Grandma Alma mad … and the next thing they knew, she would make him roar like a lion … then, she’d throw that famous glass of cold water on him! That should cool your ass off … you damn he man!

Grandma Alma would sit there afterwards … with a grin on her face. It reminded one of a cat … licking its lips in satisfaction! She’d say it again … ‘You are a damn he man’!



This is a true story from my childhood. George, my step-grandfather … was the only grandfather I knew. I loved him dearly. He was blind … couldn’t see anything.

Grandma Alma was paralyzed … she could drag her foot when George helped her to walk. Her ‘bad’ arm would dangle as she walked. She held onto the walker with her ‘good’ hand. George would walk her each day to the front screen door.

She would look out at the flowers she loved … the flowers she used to work in … in the heat. She had a stroke that put her in a coma for months. She woke up paralyzed.

All of us children were very young. One day Grandma Alma was walking … the next, she was in a sterile room with all white around her … she never spoke anymore. We’d tip-toe into the bedroom where she was, reach up to touch her face. She never woke up.

Grandma Alma, George had only Hell in their lives. It wasn’t that they chose to have it … all the bad stuff would come there to them. They didn’t have to look for any of it.

How they lived in the world they did, blind and paralyzed … I’ll never know. My mind goes back often to ‘see them’ … I could see they’d fuss at each other to blow off steam.

It would look, sound bad to anyone … I’m sure. But, they loved each other with their Hearts. They didn’t mean to be like that … but, what else could they do to get out pent-up frustrations.

They were the kindest people in the world. They never turned anyone down to come live with them. They had no money, barely enough food for themselves. They just had lots of love. Even with all the love in their Hearts … they couldn’t stop all the ‘bad stuff’ that happened.

Both would cry for the children, and what happened to them through time … all of the children ended up at their house at one time or other.

Hell … no one knows the Hell at that house … in my young mind … that house sat over the portal of Hell. The devil was always around … hell was raised all the time!

Story/Photo are both owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ &grannygee


When I Love … I Love

When I Love … I Love

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee




My son, Tommy’s photo, sitting on the upholstered chest that holds the only things I have left of him.  I didn’t know my Heart could be put back together again when he died … Skip, my Hero … and Pups … made life worth living again.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee




Afraid … to become close to another person

Outside my private world …

Pain … the thought of losing yet another loved one

When for now, I only have my world I’m close to

Realizing life … death is the way it is

You, I … there’s nothing we can do about it

Acceptance … takes longer for some to reach

I reached it in four years after the death of my child

I had no choice in the matter

Either I accepted … or I quit living, or … slowly … go crazy

Three choices I had … I’ve always loved life

No matter that life has been hard for me at times

I chose to accept … to live my life out

Why? Because, there is nothing I can do, say

To change a thing … I can cry, scream, roll on the floor

It doesn’t get me a damn thing … I’m tired of being sad

I can be happy while … I grieve for my son … in a good way

He has done something … we all have to do one day

Die … we are born … live life … and whether we want to … or not

We each are going to have to die … no one can change this fact of life

How many times have I told myself these things in the past 4 years?

I can’t remember … I can’t see back through the darkness I came through

How in the world … did I make it back out to the light

Learn to smile again … to feel the wind on my face?

Live life once again … care?

How? My precious husband … my hero … made me strong

Strong enough to come back … from the worse thing to happen in my life

I made it back through many ‘bad’ things … this time, I wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for … him

My whole world left now … is my husband, three Pups

Outside them … I’m careful whom I become close to

I don’t invite unwanted, extra pain

I only become … so close … to anyone today

I don’t fool myself … I know my Heart

It cares a lot, I just don’t show it … when I Love … I Love





Photo/words are of, by me, owned by me … Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee


Mustard Hearts…

Mustard Hearts

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Look closer… what do you see

A woman standing at the counter in her kitchen

She is doing something that makes her smile

Look a little closer, watch her hands

She seems to be drawing… with a squeezable mustard bottle

Drawing… mustard hearts… on slices of bread

Her hands lovingly places slices of deli meats over the mustard hearts

She places another slice of bread with a mustard heart inside

On top… a sandwich made with love from her very heart

Many years have gone by… many sandwiches her husband has eaten

Sandwiches with the words ‘I LOVE YOU’, and hearts… drawn, written inside every sandwich

He never knew until she one day told him… inside each sandwich you’ve eaten… I put my love…. by drawing mustard hearts

I Don’t Need To Go On Jerry Springer Show… I Told Skip My Secret That I Kept For Years…

I Don’t Need To Go On Jerry Springer Show… I Told Skip My Secret That I Kept For Years…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Slices of soft bread lined the countertop where I was making sandwiches.  I went to the refrigerator to get the deli meats to put on each.  I didn’t forget the cheese…

I had on my mind a confession I wanted to make to Skip.  One about love…  In fact, once I told him, I would back it up with photos, so… he could understand.  You know how life is… we do things… sometimes.

I wanted him to know what I have… unknowingly… to him… been doing.  I’ve been committing this… act… over and over… he never knew it.

You know how it is… one thing leads to another…. and before you know… a lot of time has passed… and …. you are still doing it.  I was still doing it… with passion, love.  Now… it’s time to tell Skip…

I was wondering if I should contact Jerry Springer Show… make a big deal out of it… like everyone else does?  Would you help me make a decision?

When I tell you… you’ll understand what’s been on my mind.  I know I should have probably felt guilty all these years doing what I have done…  I know I should, but… I have to say… I’m not.

Don’t look at me that way, please.  You’ll understand in just a moment what I’ve been doing secretly for years.  You might decide… you could do it… get away with it, like I have.

I look at the bread slices lined up on the countertop… I’m about to do it again.  I always feel good when I do what I’m about to do… it has to do with the… secret.  Actually… IT is the secret.

I go back to the refrigerator… I reached for the squeeze bottle of… mustard.  NOW… it’s almost time to do what I love to do, have done unknowing to Skip… all these years.

I just called Skip … to come see.  I decided I don’t need to go on Jerry Springer Show… I told Skip he’d understand when I showed him photos of what I’ve been doing all this time.  I told him, I needed to make a confession to him… I can’t live with not telling him anymore.

I showed him two photos.  He stood looking at them, as I told him what I have kept secret for so long.  He just stood there….

I saw a light come in his eyes… watched as his lips began… to smile.  You know what he said to me?  “I love you, Monst”.

I will tell you now, what I’ve been doing.  I’ve been using the squeeze mustard bottle to ….

To draw inside of each of Skip’s sandwiches.  I draw, I write … in mustard…. I write the words, “I Love You”.

You can see the hearts I drew inside his bread slices.  He knows now, that for all these years, whenever I make him a sandwich… it’s been full of… love.

I don’t need to go on Jerry Springer Show, now.  I told Skip my secret… that I kept from him for years.


Enhanced by Zemanta

Baby Girl…

Baby Girl…
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee …2013

The elderly woman sat in a soft, upholstered chair, rocking gently… back, forward… back, forward.

The nurse noticed the expression on the woman’s face. She wondered why the woman had such a sweet smile on her face… her eyes had the softest, loving expression in them. She’s thinking about someone special, the nurse thought…

On the television, the show Criminal Minds, was on. Morgan had just called the blonde-headed woman ‘Baby Girl’. He was always calling her that name. Each time he said Baby Girl… the elderly woman had a reaction to it…

She would smile so sweetly, her eyes would glow with such love. It touched the nurse’s heart to watch her. I wonder why she smiles like that… why she has a reaction when Morgan called his friend… Baby Girl?

The nurse decided to stay unnoticed for a few minutes… watch the woman to hopefully see some clue to ‘why?’…. the woman’s reaction when the name Baby Girl was said.

She heard the name again on the television… saw the woman’s lips smile sweetly once again. The smile reached her eyes… letting the nurse see that once this woman was beautiful… now, she was a faded rose.. porcelain pink complexion, leaf-green colored eyes. She had aged well, considering all her body, mind had suffered through the years.

Very few lines were on her face… her hair was still soft, curly, long. The elderly woman loved her hair… she fluffed it constantly with her small hands.

She began rock… her eyes closed. The nurse watched as a teardrop began to roll down her cheek. She heard the woman begin to cry … her shoulders began to shake.

The nurse walked over to the elderly woman, placed her hand on the woman’s shoulder. “I’m here, if you need me”… she told the woman.

The woman opened her eyes, looked up at the nurse, smiled at her. “Thank-you… I’m so happy today… I have missed my husband… he calls me Baby Girl”.

The nurse asked her if her husband was deceased… the elderly woman told her, “No, he’ll soon be here… I’ll be so happy to see him… I go home today”.

The nurse knew it was time for the woman to go home. She’d made good progress in getting back on her feet after a serious fall. She heard a sound behind her… she turned to see a tall, elderly man standing in the doorway.

She saw the sweetest smile on his face, his eyes full of love. She heard him say, “Are you ready to go home… Baby Girl”?

Precious Camo/Camie Is A Very Sick Puppy… (Tuesday PM Update… Day 13)

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Precious Camo/Camie Is A Very Sick Puppy… (Tuesday PM Update… Day 13)

Precious Camo/Camie Is A Very Sick Puppy… (Tuesday Pm… Day 13)
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Status Update… Camo is resting comfortably… she had a big day at the animal hospital… lots of medicine, a special medicinal bath, injections; loving care.  Thank-you to Louisburg Veterinary Clinic, Dr. Fontenot and Staff…… I’m so glad we found you.  The photo above is of Camie tonight… she’s such a sick little puppy…..
Precious Camo/Camie went to the animal hospital today (photos below… beautiful house that’s purple).Camie’s 1st visit to vet … Dr. Fontenot. What a nice place to take one’s babies. He kept Camie most all day to do the things he needed to.

Camie weighs 35 lbs. She is approximately 7 months old. She has a fever of 103.6, and is very sick.Camie is very sick; the doctor stated that it’ll take several months to get her well. We love her, whatever it takes we will try to get it done. We will take one visit at a time.

She is scheduled for an injection every Tuesday morning at 10:30 am for 4-8 weeks.

Camie can’t get her surgery to be spayed at least for a month. She’s too sick…

Camie has 3 bottles of medicine, and special medicated shampoo for her skin. I will bathe her once a week in the shampoo. The medicines she’ll take every day.

She has demodectic mange; plus her little body got in worse condition by laying out on a cold, wet ground dying. When I rescued her, she had maggots falling off her.

Below are photos of her medicines, shampoo. Also, just the procedures done today… she has many more visits ahead to get her well.

We are thankful to the vet for caring for her today. They are very good there. You can see his name, website in the photos… I think you would be very happy to carry your pets to him.

We met a gentleman in there, while waiting to pick up Camie…. he rescues a lot of cats, dogs. He’s been going to Dr. Fontenot for a long time…. the man told us how good he is… compassionate. We are thankful to have him for Camie’s vet. His staff is very nice, also.

Dr. Fontenot comes out to talk, explain all. He takes time to do that… it meant a lot to us. Thank-you.

Okay…. you won’t believe what breed she is! Mezza, you were half-right. :))) I was so amazed…… I have rescued a little………………………
Australian Shepherd puppy.

Dr. Fontenot said it will take at least 2 months to see her hair grow back, and see what she really looks like. :))) What a surprise to come! I’m amazed…. and I’m very excited to see how beautiful she’s going to be. I knew her hair was ‘two colors’ in places.

Well… we all will see together… Camie blossom into a rose…. a beautiful little rose. Let the journey begin………. I’m so happy you all are here to follow her. Your thoughts, and prayers are working… thank-you from my Heart.

You all mean the world to us. I know prayers work… that’s why I won my battles when very ill. I believe in miracles. The same with Skip. We both are cancer survivors… so, we are miracles.

I can’t wait to be able to put my arms around Camie to just hold her, and not hurt her. I know my Heart will fill with such joy.

For now… once a week when I use her medicinal shampoo… I’ll get to hold her so gently when she’s in her towels. So… every week she will go to her own personal ‘Camie Spa’…. be pampered. You’ll see photos! :)))

Goodnight now. Camie is resting after her big day. Love, Gloria/Granny Gee

Another Imaginary Walk On The Sand By The Ocean…

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee…. I loved doing this piece of artwork… I painted, cut out pieces of artwork I had already painted, drawn… put together.


Another Imaginary Walk On The Sand By The Ocean…

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Aka Granny Gee


I walk in the soft sand, happy to be at the ocean

The wind blows my hair away from my face

Tendrils tickle my cheeks, I push them away


My long, flowing skirt billows out like a ship’s sail

Hugging my legs, defining their shape

Beautiful, soft, pink material caresses my skin


I close my eyes, inhale deeply… listen to the sounds of the sea

Sea gulls sing their songs…  the sound of waves join in

Making the most beautiful music to my ears


I stop to feel the wind blowing, play, tug at me

Sleep… how I would love to lay on a soft bed that sits on the sand

On white, silken sheets… fluffy pillows to lay my head on


I feel I could find peace of mind, my soul be soothed by

Sand, sea, songs sung by the sea gulls, blended waves…

I’m sad, I feel bittersweet… gray


My colors aren’t bright at the moment, I’m the color of sand

Blue as the sky… you know my son died on the beach

Listening to the sounds his mother hears on her walk


I wonder if he lay facing the sky as his spirit left his body

Looking past the sun to Heaven, with a far away look in his eyes

I don’t know this, I just try to ‘feel’ my son’s last moments


These are secret thoughts no one knows I think about

Thoughts I share with no one; thoughts that come to my mind

Thoughts that haunt, hurt me deep inside in a ‘deep-quiet’ way


I try to imagine his last moments as I take my imaginary walk by the sea

In my mind, I am walking, seeing a tall, muscular, handsome guy

He’s running, laughing with a little boy who looks just like him


I stop for a moment to watch… both are blonde-headed, blue-eyed

I reach out to touch them… they don’t know I’m there

They continue to run, play, squeal with delight, play by the ocean


I begin to walk, but… stop again, look back… I see the big guy

Has collapsed to the sand… I feel alarm as I watch, hear

The little guy say, ‘daddy, get up… come play with me’!


I walk closer to both of them… no one knows I’m there

I kneel there on the sand, lean over to look into my son’s face

Calling his name, trying to wake him up; he doesn’t hear me


I hold his head in my lap, my tears fall onto his face

I reach out, pull my little grandson close to me

I feel his fear of not knowing, understanding that something’s wrong


People appear, reach through me to speak to my son, shake him

Someone’s gentle hand reaches out to my grandson to comfort him

I stand to the side to watch… I’m not really here


I’m in my mind as I take my imaginary walk to that fateful day

The day my son died, my grandson lost his daddy… his life changed

I walked there trying to see my son’s last moments, as I’ve done so many times


My mind becomes so weary with the load of pain, grief I carry

In my mind, heart, a heavy load…  I imagine a bed with silken sheets

Sitting on the sand, big… fluffy pillows to lay my head on


As I end my imaginary walk, I am closing my eyes as my head snuggles into a pillow

Tears fall on the silken pillow case, feeling cool to my skin

I fall asleep to the music of the sea gulls, waves washing to shore


I imagine as I fall asleep, that my son’s death was as gentle as this

I imagine he didn’t feel any pain, felt at peace just as I do

Lying here on my bed by the sea, feeling the ocean breeze caress my skin


I’m too weary to cry anymore, tears still fall on their own

How many times have I been here to seek peace of mind

Going into myself, taking my imaginary walk by the ocean


Trying to see, sense… know that my son didn’t suffer

When his body collapsed, falling onto the sand

Please Lord, I hope he didn’t feel any pain… fear


Thank-you, for having your angels nearby to come, protect

The little boy who stood there, not knowing yet… his life changed

Forever… only knowing his daddy lay there, when he wanted him to play


My prayers for this little boy, my precious grandson

Is that he grows up knowing he was the apple of his daddy’s eye

No one could have been prouder of him… than his daddy was


Grow up, be ready for the world… he is someone special

I can see, sense it even now… big personality, confidence, laughter

Sense of humor in his eyes… that’s my son’s son… Big Daddy’s Boy


I’m going to close my eyes in my mind, I’ve completed once again

Another imaginary walk on the sand by the ocean, I’m so weary

I lay my head down on my fluffy pillow, I’ve found peace of mind









So many times I do this… I used to cry all the time.  I’m too weary to cry now.  Tears fall, my sobs are silent now… I go to this place in my mind now… to seek peace of mind.


Even in my mind, in my imagination… I’m so weary that I imagine the bed on the sand, so… I can rest my mind, my body… my very soul.


Tommy… my son, died May 29, 2010… running, playing, laughing with his little 3 year old son… listening to sea gulls sing, the waves rushing up to the shore… at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.


He was so happy to be at the beach to play for his first time with his little son.  The evening before, he stopped me as we were walking out of our home… he grinned, said… “Mama, I’m going to get to play with my son for the first time at the ocean!”  He barely made it there… just in time.  He safely arrived there… only to leave again on a… trip he can never come back from.


I never forgot that moment when he told me, his eyes sparkling with excitement…  I never forgot my son… I will always write to remember my only child, Tommy.  I hope you will remember him, too.


If you want me to remember your child, tell me… I won’t forget them.  If you want to tell me their name, date of birth, day they passed away… I will put them on my blog, to remember them always.  You might want to add one special thing about them.


Love, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee









I Wonder If Chest Pain Could Be Grief?

I Wonder If Chest Pain Could Be Grief?…


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



I’m feeling much better this morning.  I hope that pain doesn’t come back.  I keep feeling sort of anxious… like ‘is it going to come back?’


I appreciate everyone letting me know they cared.  I had a Lexiscan Nuclear Stress test several days ago.  I thought maybe the pain in my chest could have been something that commonly happened after the test.


I called my cardiologist, and found out that it isn’t something that happens after the test.  So, I’m not sure if stress, or what… caused that pain.


One never knows ‘if it’s the real thing’… so, I monitored myself constantly.  I know that I couldn’t sit still long enough at my computer to write.  Finally, I laid down… and slept many hours… I feel better this morning.


Maybe, I was worrying much more than I realized … about the results from that test.  My son, Tommy, died with two heart blockages… he never had opportunity to get that test.  I was afraid I was going to have blockages, since I was older.  Tommy was only 40 years old.


I wonder if all of this had something to do with my chest pain?  I may have not realized it.  Tommy is always in the back of my mind, so… it’s very possible.


I have written my book about grieving for Tommy.  I think I may have thought that ‘magically’… I wouldn’t cry again, or feel sad again… ‘because it’s all in my book’.  Not true.


I’m finding that out.  I still feel that pain, I still want to cry.  My chest pain may stem from this.  I told Skip that I’m older… and my test showed that I don’t have a blockage…. yet, Tommy was only 40 years old… he died with two blockages.  I just don’t understand… it does make me cry.


The normal percentage was 50%-70% from the test…. mine was 58% heart function.  This is supposed to be good, I’m so glad.  I’ll take all I can get.  :)))  I’m so … thankful.  I could have ‘not’ been here to ‘have this’… so, you won’t hear me complain.


It’s my trade-off to live… one of the drugs in my chemotherapy treatments, damaged my heart.  Adriamycin… but, that’s okay with me… I’m here, I’m grateful.  One never understands any of this… unless you’ve been through similar.


Thank all you for your comments, caring.  It means the world to me.  So far… this morning, this moment… my chest doesn’t hurt.  I look forward to writing again… I can concentrate like this.  :)))  Love, Granny Gee/Gloria :)))  I wonder if my chest pain could be just pure grief?