Death …


Death …

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

 

 

 

 

Death … the end … no more chances

To say or do the things we put off doing

Never enough time to learn to do it now … not later

Death … having to let go whether we want to or not

Pulls us from this world when we don’t want to let go

We leave when Death calls … no matter we try to hold onto Life

Death … makes me panic, fear

It’s the end of all things … no more here

Just the ever-after … darkness no light

At one time it didn’t matter if I died

If I had died I wouldn’t have known the difference

I was already walking in darkness, I was gone

That’s what happens when you lose a child

A precious baby you carried, brought into the world

You never expect to outlive it

I can’t think of a worse pain for a mother

She’s very fortunate to recover from it

It almost took my life … my fighting spirit took over

Took over when I didn’t know

Began to pull me from the depths of darkness

Darkness kept sucking me in

Knowledge of my child’s death

Was bigger than me, hard to live with it inside

I couldn’t walk away, leave it behind

Every moment of my life it tortured me

I couldn’t see light for darkness

When I did it was gone in an instant

Grief … so much grief

No room for happiness, fun things

Pain greater than great

No one can understand unless they walk the path

To feel, really feel the pain

Only when they lose a loved one will they understand

I’m afraid of dying … I want to live

No longer do I want to let go of Life

I can live now, knowing my son is gone

Five years ago he died playing on the beach

With his three year old son

He died a beautiful death, the way anyone’d want to go

No pain, suffering … quick

The angels buffered his fall to the sand

As he collapsed, drawing his last breath

The sea gulls sang, the ocean waves were background

The sun caressed his sweet face

As his soul lifted to fly with Angels to Heaven

Death … I’ve been almost through the door

How I came back I do not know

I would have never known I died, I was gone

When someone we love dies

It’s hard to accept we won’t see them anymore

Hear their voices, see their smiles

In order to live we have to learn to accept

The fact they aren’t coming back

We have to help ourself to cope

If we don’t, we are doomed

I helped myself after 3 long years

Of darkness in the land of grief

It began with me helping myself

Through writing the Hell away

Releasing grief word by word

Putting steel in my backbone

Getting to my feet, dusting my pants off

Facing Life once more … head on

Since … little baby steps by baby steps

I have made it after five long years

I’m alright now … this year being the best

Death didn’t claim me, I don’t know why

Grief, sickness took me to its door

I’m living proof that miracles happen

I’m still here when the others aren’t

Others being all my loved ones, my son

I don’t know why … I won’t question why

I will go on with my life being the best I can

I’m not perfect nor try to be

I will live until I die … until Death comes for me

Note by this Author:

Sometimes, on gloomy days when Skip isn’t around … I become very sad.  The thoughts of Death will sometimes bother me.

Thinking of Tommy … my son, my mother, father, aunts, brother, grandmothers, George the only grandfather I ever knew, cousins … everyone I grew up loving with my very Heart … make me very sad.

All my family is gone … the ones left are gone, too.  Only a few communicate with me … it means the world to me.  Our lives are so far apart that we could never have relationships.  It is the way Life is … sad.

It’s the legacy left to us of our family before us … distrust of the others knowing if you get close … reveal your weakness that that’s the first thing they will use against you if they become upset at you.  No one can trust.  Life is what it is … no more, no less.

Some of us try … but, we are always on guard.  We have been conditioned to be that way since a little child.

Today is a gloomy, rainy day.  These sad thoughts came to my mind.

Photos/ poem owned, written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

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2 thoughts on “Death …

  1. Hi Gloria! 🙂

    Yes, we all die – the great leveller – so it is best to enjoy what we have while we have it. 🙂

    Truly death is the last great adventure! 🙂

    Love and huge hugs!

    Prenin.

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