Claim Your Space in This World … It’s Yours

Claim Your Space in This World … it’s Yours

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter … 2014

 

Loneliness is the enemy of people who have no one.  Loneliness can cause a person to make costly mistakes.  Loneliness tears a person down … when they go out in public … a person feels isolated, disoriented … not a part of anything … anyone.

There have been times in my life that I’ve experienced loneliness.  It’s an awful feeling.  Through time I experienced it when I was home alone with no one to talk to, be near.  Skip was driving long-distance.  We stayed on the phone constantly.

This is a different kind of loneliness … this loneliness is from having to be away working, while I was at home.  It isn’t the kind of loneliness I’m writing about today.

The loneliness I am writing about is the kind of loneliness I see in several people I care about.  They don’t have their someone special … someone who will come home to them … someone that is there … someone who cares what they say or do.

Everyone, no matter who you are … needs that special person.  You don’t have to be married to them, nor do you have to live together.  All you have to do is … care.  You can care … even long-distance.

I was thinking about this as I was worrying about a friend who is lonely.  She gets very sad, feels there’s nothing to be happy about.  I read something she wrote.  It hurt my Heart.

I wrote back to her that loneliness can cause someone to make costly mistakes.  I didn’t want her to do that.  Nor did I want her to waste time while … waiting … for a certain someone to say ‘I love you’. Why?  Realistically … the person may never say it.

All that precious time wasted … waiting for nothing.  How many times have you … waited in your young life … older life … for someone to say ‘I love you’?   You know you have at least once if not more … in your life no matter how popular, good-looking, ‘perfect’ you are.

I’ve been observing a couple who have been dating for 7 years now … both are still uncertain how the other really feels about the other.  Each uses anger to control the other.  They won’t speak for a couple of months at a time.  Oh my God … look at all that precious time being wasted. They are old enough to know better.

I wasted precious time in my first marriage when I wasn’t priority in it … other women were.  I was just a very young girl, very naive who married someone older … who’d already been around.  I was innocent.  I still don’t hate that person.  I’m old enough now to know … life can be that way … no matter how sad.

Fourteen years.  I did it out of love, and my child.  Why?  Because I came from a f___ked up family, broken home and I didn’t want my child to.

It didn’t make any difference … all of those young, precious years were gone.  They weren’t appreciated by anyone.  I was the loser no matter how much I loved, cared.  My child was the loser, also.  It didn’t get me anywhere.  All I learned was how bad life hurt … how damn sad it was.

The danger here when a very young person is involved … is that young person who has only known pain in their young life … is very fragile.

They will begin to think no one wants them, they aren’t any good to anyone, they are so lonely they can’t bear it anymore.  They are … fragile emotionally.

You know a person can be treated bad only so much in their life.  When a person gets that far in their thinking … the next thing they think is … the world would be better off without them in it.

How do I know so much about it?  Because from the time I was very young I had learned I was in the way and if it wasn’t for me … this could have been.  If it wasn’t for me … that could have been.

I caused so much grief in everyone’s life unknowingly, so innocent … being a little girl.  If I could have known, had a choice … I would have chosen people who would have wanted me, give me a good life.  I sure wouldn’t have chosen to be born in a crazy-ass family.

When I learned it was me who caused this, or that … well, you know what can happen … it did … more than one time.  I learned about wanting to die … several times I almost succeeded.

I won’t go into any of that.  I may write about it later.  Words can’t in no way make you feel the pain of such times.  I can’t even begin to relate to you what I went through as a young child … young woman.  I can’t even describe the pain while in the process of … committing suicide.

Okay … you say ‘well, you aren’t the only one who felt pain’.  I say back to you … that I’m writing about me … not you.  You go write your own stories if you are tough enough to … let someone learn from your experience … share it.  Give someone hope that everything can be all right.

When I write … I hope someone can learn young … early enough to not waste those precious young years … older years you have left in this world.  Learn to love yourself … your world is about … you.

Then … someone else … after you’ve taken care of you.  I wish I’d learned this as a young girl, woman.  I look back … ha! ha!  I can’t see anyone who could have taught me such things.  Only my Aunt Frankie tried in her quiet, sweet way … then, someone would jump on her.  I was too young to understand but, years later … her quiet, sweet voice … her words were still in my mind.

I can write as a female, woman.  In today’s time … a woman can go, do things alone … and not look out of place.  She can do the things … she loves to do.  She can make herself happy.  She can be her best friend … or worse enemy.  She can love being alone with herself … crafts, reading, writing, computer, projects … the list goes on.

If she chooses to be her own best friend … have confidence to go, do all she loves to do … instead of holding back, sitting back … waiting for a man to come in her life … her life will be happy.  She is her own person!

Then … when a man happens to come in her life … she is confident enough in herself … he sees it.  He treats her with respect, loves her for being that person.

This all is my … Gloria Opinion … and God knows I have a lot of them.  The best about that is … I am very open-minded, known to change them at a moment’s notice.  🙂

Well, suppose the woman doesn’t have money to do all she wants.  I say this … find a way to get out in the world where there are people … good people you want to meet.  Church, libraries … groups … even at a shopping mall.  Open your eyes … do it in a safe way … always be alert.

You never know where your Prince Charming is going to be …. he could be shopping, wanting to find a book, or he is in church.  Maybe he has a special group that is important to him.

I would say men could do the same … since I am a woman, these are things I would think could make a difference in a lonely woman’s life.

Get out there where people are … they really won’t know you exist if you stay hidden away.  Make them aware you are a part of this world, also.  You do have a place in this world.  You really are important.  You just need to wake up, realize it.

Claim your space in this world … it’s yours so, make it yours.  You don’t have to stay lonely … not in the world we live in today.

……………………………………………………

Note by this Author:

I am not an expert at anything but … pain, grief experienced in my own life.  I guess I am an expert in the negative things in life … and when knocked down … I get up off my ass … ready to do it again.  I face life head-on … pain, grief and all.  Shove me down … I’m going to get back up …

No matter how bad … all will be all right again.  No matter how negative … I am a positive person.  There’s good in bad … yes, there really is … open your eyes and look … you’ll see.

I claim my space unashamedly in this old world …  and no matter what someone else thinks … I am important.  I respect myself, so will others.

Who am I to dare say such things when I’m a nobody from childhood?  I say so … I’m Queen of my mountain.

Sadly … I just didn’t learn this young enough to save all the precious years I wasted.  I’ve learned all the hard way … and learned I did.

It’s just a wonder I’m a good person today … I could have been just as bad as being a good person.  It feels good to be good. 🙂

Oh … this is only a little of what I think … about being lonely, not having anyone.  I am going to say here, I am very fortunate to have my best friend, lover, soulmate, special someone … my husband, Skip.  He, our 2 Pups, Kissy and Camie … are my entire world.  I’m so grateful for them.

There’s not a day that goes by … without me being aware of that.  I never take anything for granted.  What I’ve come through in life will teach one that lesson … good.

Photos/story are both owned, written by me.  These are my true thoughts and unless you can show me a better way to think about them … this is what I think.  I am very open-minded.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter