Claim Your Space in This World … it’s Yours
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter … 2014
Loneliness is the enemy of people who have no one. Loneliness can cause a person to make costly mistakes. Loneliness tears a person down … when they go out in public … a person feels isolated, disoriented … not a part of anything … anyone.
There have been times in my life that I’ve experienced loneliness. It’s an awful feeling. Through time I experienced it when I was home alone with no one to talk to, be near. Skip was driving long-distance. We stayed on the phone constantly.
This is a different kind of loneliness … this loneliness is from having to be away working, while I was at home. It isn’t the kind of loneliness I’m writing about today.
The loneliness I am writing about is the kind of loneliness I see in several people I care about. They don’t have their someone special … someone who will come home to them … someone that is there … someone who cares what they say or do.
Everyone, no matter who you are … needs that special person. You don’t have to be married to them, nor do you have to live together. All you have to do is … care. You can care … even long-distance.
I was thinking about this as I was worrying about a friend who is lonely. She gets very sad, feels there’s nothing to be happy about. I read something she wrote. It hurt my Heart.
I wrote back to her that loneliness can cause someone to make costly mistakes. I didn’t want her to do that. Nor did I want her to waste time while … waiting … for a certain someone to say ‘I love you’. Why? Realistically … the person may never say it.
All that precious time wasted … waiting for nothing. How many times have you … waited in your young life … older life … for someone to say ‘I love you’? You know you have at least once if not more … in your life no matter how popular, good-looking, ‘perfect’ you are.
I’ve been observing a couple who have been dating for 7 years now … both are still uncertain how the other really feels about the other. Each uses anger to control the other. They won’t speak for a couple of months at a time. Oh my God … look at all that precious time being wasted. They are old enough to know better.
I wasted precious time in my first marriage when I wasn’t priority in it … other women were. I was just a very young girl, very naive who married someone older … who’d already been around. I was innocent. I still don’t hate that person. I’m old enough now to know … life can be that way … no matter how sad.
Fourteen years. I did it out of love, and my child. Why? Because I came from a f___ked up family, broken home and I didn’t want my child to.
It didn’t make any difference … all of those young, precious years were gone. They weren’t appreciated by anyone. I was the loser no matter how much I loved, cared. My child was the loser, also. It didn’t get me anywhere. All I learned was how bad life hurt … how damn sad it was.
The danger here when a very young person is involved … is that young person who has only known pain in their young life … is very fragile.
They will begin to think no one wants them, they aren’t any good to anyone, they are so lonely they can’t bear it anymore. They are … fragile emotionally.
You know a person can be treated bad only so much in their life. When a person gets that far in their thinking … the next thing they think is … the world would be better off without them in it.
How do I know so much about it? Because from the time I was very young I had learned I was in the way and if it wasn’t for me … this could have been. If it wasn’t for me … that could have been.
I caused so much grief in everyone’s life unknowingly, so innocent … being a little girl. If I could have known, had a choice … I would have chosen people who would have wanted me, give me a good life. I sure wouldn’t have chosen to be born in a crazy-ass family.
When I learned it was me who caused this, or that … well, you know what can happen … it did … more than one time. I learned about wanting to die … several times I almost succeeded.
I won’t go into any of that. I may write about it later. Words can’t in no way make you feel the pain of such times. I can’t even begin to relate to you what I went through as a young child … young woman. I can’t even describe the pain while in the process of … committing suicide.
Okay … you say ‘well, you aren’t the only one who felt pain’. I say back to you … that I’m writing about me … not you. You go write your own stories if you are tough enough to … let someone learn from your experience … share it. Give someone hope that everything can be all right.
When I write … I hope someone can learn young … early enough to not waste those precious young years … older years you have left in this world. Learn to love yourself … your world is about … you.
Then … someone else … after you’ve taken care of you. I wish I’d learned this as a young girl, woman. I look back … ha! ha! I can’t see anyone who could have taught me such things. Only my Aunt Frankie tried in her quiet, sweet way … then, someone would jump on her. I was too young to understand but, years later … her quiet, sweet voice … her words were still in my mind.
I can write as a female, woman. In today’s time … a woman can go, do things alone … and not look out of place. She can do the things … she loves to do. She can make herself happy. She can be her best friend … or worse enemy. She can love being alone with herself … crafts, reading, writing, computer, projects … the list goes on.
If she chooses to be her own best friend … have confidence to go, do all she loves to do … instead of holding back, sitting back … waiting for a man to come in her life … her life will be happy. She is her own person!
Then … when a man happens to come in her life … she is confident enough in herself … he sees it. He treats her with respect, loves her for being that person.
This all is my … Gloria Opinion … and God knows I have a lot of them. The best about that is … I am very open-minded, known to change them at a moment’s notice. 🙂
Well, suppose the woman doesn’t have money to do all she wants. I say this … find a way to get out in the world where there are people … good people you want to meet. Church, libraries … groups … even at a shopping mall. Open your eyes … do it in a safe way … always be alert.
You never know where your Prince Charming is going to be …. he could be shopping, wanting to find a book, or he is in church. Maybe he has a special group that is important to him.
I would say men could do the same … since I am a woman, these are things I would think could make a difference in a lonely woman’s life.
Get out there where people are … they really won’t know you exist if you stay hidden away. Make them aware you are a part of this world, also. You do have a place in this world. You really are important. You just need to wake up, realize it.
Claim your space in this world … it’s yours so, make it yours. You don’t have to stay lonely … not in the world we live in today.
Note by this Author:
I am not an expert at anything but … pain, grief experienced in my own life. I guess I am an expert in the negative things in life … and when knocked down … I get up off my ass … ready to do it again. I face life head-on … pain, grief and all. Shove me down … I’m going to get back up …
No matter how bad … all will be all right again. No matter how negative … I am a positive person. There’s good in bad … yes, there really is … open your eyes and look … you’ll see.
I claim my space unashamedly in this old world … and no matter what someone else thinks … I am important. I respect myself, so will others.
Who am I to dare say such things when I’m a nobody from childhood? I say so … I’m Queen of my mountain.
Sadly … I just didn’t learn this young enough to save all the precious years I wasted. I’ve learned all the hard way … and learned I did.
It’s just a wonder I’m a good person today … I could have been just as bad as being a good person. It feels good to be good. 🙂
Oh … this is only a little of what I think … about being lonely, not having anyone. I am going to say here, I am very fortunate to have my best friend, lover, soulmate, special someone … my husband, Skip. He, our 2 Pups, Kissy and Camie … are my entire world. I’m so grateful for them.
There’s not a day that goes by … without me being aware of that. I never take anything for granted. What I’ve come through in life will teach one that lesson … good.
Photos/story are both owned, written by me. These are my true thoughts and unless you can show me a better way to think about them … this is what I think. I am very open-minded. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter