Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Just Know That … I Know You Are In The World, Too
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I worry for them, I worry that they’ll read my own grief, it affecting them. One can’t truly write very well if they worry like this. I have to tell myself this lately, knowing that I still care … very much. I know I’m not the only person in the world who goes through such.
As you read my stories, I hope you will know that I think of you, too… as I write, I have to ‘let go of my thoughts’, focus on my words so, I can write what I truly know best.
All I ask is for you to always keep in the back of your mind… that I’m not a self-centered person who thinks only of myself. Please keep that in mind when you read my words, they come from inside me about what I know to write … best. If I tried to write about you… I would be false.
I read blogs of my blogging friends, I read emails, and comments. Your comforting words mean everything to me. I sense at times, my words have made you upset because of touching something deep inside you. I don’t want my words to hurt you, though… I know they will… if you read them. They are ‘real.’
I’m aware that some of you … are like me. I’m aware that some of you have serious illnesses. I’m aware… that some of you have loved ones who are deathly ill. Oh, God …how I care for you all. A lot of us walk in our own ‘private hells’. I know how ‘so much’ feels, as I’ve experienced so much in my own world.
I’ve thought about maybe should I just stop writing? Should I go on, not care about you? I can’t do that. I do care with my very heart, I can’t stop writing … I have to write. I have to care about you, too…. it’s a part of me… Gloria/Granny Gee.
For the moment, I am talking to all of you … I know you will sense that I’m talking to you, and you, and you………. just know I care deeply, I shed tears when I feel your words in your blogs, emails, comments… when I read them.
Just know that I know the world isn’t all about ‘me.’ It may sound like that while I write … for the moment when I write about ‘me’, it is. I have to write what I know… that’s what my blog is about.
My blog is about a grieving mother, myself. It’s about my son, Tommy, whom I’m never going to forget … I’m going to always remember him with my words. It’s about me, Granny Gee/Gloria’s life. It’s going to always be that … I’m going to always have ‘ups, downs’ in my life.
I don’t write to feel sorry for myself … I’ve never felt sorry for myself. I’m too much the fighter to waste time doing that. If I did that, I’d just lay back, never do anything again… no, that’s not ‘me.’
I don’t need attention with my writing … if you read my stories, give me attention… it’s because you choose to. I will write …. regardless. Even if no one read my stories, I would have to write … I am driven to write, the memory of my son, the pain … be it mental, physical, is … my very fuel.
I once had a dear friend whom for twelve years I wrote to every day, several times a day… she did the same. When she died, I can’t tell you the grief I felt for her. I found that I couldn’t just quit writing, I felt like I was dying inside if I quit writing. So, I not only write in memory of Tommy, my pain, I write in memory of Lena, my dearest friend… she is a part of that fuel that drives me.
Just know … all of you … my friends, my readers, my followers … that I do care about you, I feel for you with my very heart. Just know that … I know ‘you’ …. are in the world, too.
Love, Granny Gee/aka Gloria Faye Brown Bates
- My Window To The World… (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- It’s Be Christmas Again … Without Tommy (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Granny Gee’s Little Boy… Photos Of When I Once Had A Young Son (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- “Yes, It Really … Can” (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Finding Comfort… (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Today Is Christmas 2012 … Granny Gee Waits (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- I Can Dust My Pants Off Now… Walk Away (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- I Just Had A Bad Time… Writing The Pain Out (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- Until The Accident… (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)
- The Pain Really Hurts… (grannyscolorful.wordpress.com)